One wheel, one goal: chaos

March 9, 2004 10:17 AM

Just when you've rid your neighborhood of Jets and Sharks, a new gang is on the horizon: the Thunderwheels. Yep, it's a biker gang, and not just any biker gang, but the worst possible kind: a unicycle biker gang. This is the kind of havoc they wreak.
posted by mathowie (12 comments total)

I smell a gang war on the horizon.

All Hell will break loose when they meet the ThunderSegways.
posted by bwg at 10:36 AM on March 9, 2004

Not just unicycles, but juggling? Ladder tricks? Hockey, fergawdsake? What is society coming to?!?

These -- these -- cretins are a menace of some kind or another, for sure. They must be stopped. By like, a curb or something.

I mean, really. What's next? ThunderPogoSticks? (or, on preview, Segways? Aw, dude, I totally smell trouble. Knees will be skinned before this ends, mark my words!)

- Actually, have you seen live demonstrations? Some of these people can do more on one wheel than most of us can do on two feet and solid ground.
posted by chicobangs at 10:41 AM on March 9, 2004

The Thunderwheels is the only officially recognized unicycle gang in the world.

So what officials have recognized them, exactly?
posted by orange swan at 11:15 AM on March 9, 2004

All of this started because they were allowed to wear hats to high school. It's time for change people!
posted by bmxGirl at 11:16 AM on March 9, 2004

Where are the live demonstrations?
posted by psychotic_venom at 12:18 PM on March 9, 2004

New found juggling friend Henry, if you go to a juggling fest/conference and henry isnt there I'll be most surprised!

There is nothing so dangerous as a surprised unicyclist at a juggling fest/conference. Be sure to carry pepper spray.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 12:34 PM on March 9, 2004

Sorry, Matt, but "Unicycle Bikers" is an oxymoron.
A much more accurate (but as of yet, unsupported) term would be "Unikers" (pronounced "YEW-nike-urs").

And when I heard the gang name "Thunderwheels", I was seriously disappointed to find they were NOT big-headed British marionettes on Harleys.
posted by wendell at 12:47 PM on March 9, 2004

Or how about "One-kers" (which would, of course, be pronounced "wunkers" (as opposed to "ah-NEE-kers," and definitely not to be confused with "wankers," no, not at all, silly to even mention it))?

You know, I'm sure there's an actual term for onesies, and we're just funnin'.
posted by chicobangs at 1:22 PM on March 9, 2004

Dude. I'm so in. (I'm a bit rusty, and I was never really that good, but I still meet the criteria for membership.)
I just want a cool jacket patch or something. Their logo is not very ominous (no skulls, flames, or knives).
posted by Jako at 1:47 PM on March 9, 2004

This wholesome physically active fun hurts me deep inside.
posted by squirrel at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2004

All of this started because they were allowed to wear hats to high school. It's time for change people!
posted by bmxGirl

Gang rivalries flaring up between the onesies and the twosies?
posted by Space Coyote at 6:16 PM on March 9, 2004

All of a sudden, the Baseball Furies don't seem so ridiculous.
posted by monkey.pie.baker at 8:28 AM on March 10, 2004