BWAAAA! Made you look!
June 4, 2004 12:46 PM Subscribe
The point is that mcgraw's wife has her tongue in my ear right now.
posted by eastlakestandard at 1:08 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by eastlakestandard at 1:08 PM on June 4, 2004
I can't believe I just took a shit in my bathing suit at the beach. What the fuck? I cant stand up and take it to the ocean, because I am wading in a puddle of feces at this very moment. Any change in my seating position will send my poo spilling down my legs and into view of every sunbather within 30 feet of me. There is no way I can play this off as a fart.
It doesn't help at all that I've been spun out for 3 days. I can hardly see straight! How am I possibly going to explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting chili dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is. The family on the blanket to the right of me just asked if I could smell "that". I gotta go
posted by angry modem at 1:09 PM on June 4, 2004 [1 favorite]
It doesn't help at all that I've been spun out for 3 days. I can hardly see straight! How am I possibly going to explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting chili dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is. The family on the blanket to the right of me just asked if I could smell "that". I gotta go
posted by angry modem at 1:09 PM on June 4, 2004 [1 favorite]
Hey, I heard BSD is dying.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:16 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:16 PM on June 4, 2004
I don't want to start a holy war here, but what's the deal with you Mac fanatics?
posted by brownpau at 1:23 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by brownpau at 1:23 PM on June 4, 2004
Oh hell, they Just found Stephen King's body.
Stephen King, writer, is dead at 50.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:26 PM on June 4, 2004
Stephen King, writer, is dead at 50.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:26 PM on June 4, 2004
There's a bit of a maintenance/repair theme through those four links, Fowler. Is there something deeper you were looking for, or should we bother even trying, or did I just fall for the got-your-nose trick?
Because I have another nose. Though I won't plug it in until Angry Modem gets over himself & just drags his funkified ass to the shitter or the ocean, whichever.
posted by chicobangs at 1:30 PM on June 4, 2004
Because I have another nose. Though I won't plug it in until Angry Modem gets over himself & just drags his funkified ass to the shitter or the ocean, whichever.
posted by chicobangs at 1:30 PM on June 4, 2004
It's a great day - the Christian rock band Creed has broken up.
I think I may cry, my joy is so great.
posted by Jart at 1:38 PM on June 4, 2004
I think I may cry, my joy is so great.
posted by Jart at 1:38 PM on June 4, 2004
I don't want to start a holy war here, but what's the deal with you Mac fanatics?
HERETIC!!! GET HIM!!!!
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:39 PM on June 4, 2004
HERETIC!!! GET HIM!!!!
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:39 PM on June 4, 2004
Schindler's List 2: Disco Boogaloo: “Where time stops and the magic never ends.”
Staring Olivia Newton-John as Kira the muse and Russell Crowe as a self-abusive mink farmer. Together they find love and madness in a post-apocalyptical world where life is cheap and self-aware, cybernetic roller skates rule mankind.
posted by wfrgms at 1:52 PM on June 4, 2004
Staring Olivia Newton-John as Kira the muse and Russell Crowe as a self-abusive mink farmer. Together they find love and madness in a post-apocalyptical world where life is cheap and self-aware, cybernetic roller skates rule mankind.
posted by wfrgms at 1:52 PM on June 4, 2004
Creed has broken up.
God turns on a radio, and gives his head a shake. Humanity rejoices.
On the other hand, that's one unlistenable act down, 9,000 more (plus an entire corrupt industry) to go.
But hey, little victories.
posted by chicobangs at 2:04 PM on June 4, 2004
God turns on a radio, and gives his head a shake. Humanity rejoices.
On the other hand, that's one unlistenable act down, 9,000 more (plus an entire corrupt industry) to go.
But hey, little victories.
posted by chicobangs at 2:04 PM on June 4, 2004
You Are Legolas Greenleaf!
You are mellow, lithe, blonde and fiiiiine! Your family is worried about your inclination toward dwarves, but give them 400 years and they'll probably get used to it.
Which Lord of the Rings Character Are You???
posted by scarabic at 2:29 PM on June 4, 2004
I knew I was among friends here. :)
posted by zoogleplex at 3:55 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by zoogleplex at 3:55 PM on June 4, 2004
I had a wart removed the other day, and now my thumb is all numb and tingly, like a limb that has fallen asleep. I keep checking to see if it's turning blue.
posted by ook at 3:57 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by ook at 3:57 PM on June 4, 2004
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat my own head.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:27 PM on June 4, 2004
Fruit flies like a banana.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat my own head.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:27 PM on June 4, 2004
OMG YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING ME CRAZY I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS
posted by davidmsc at 5:38 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by davidmsc at 5:38 PM on June 4, 2004
Whoa.
posted by chicobangs at 6:35 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by chicobangs at 6:35 PM on June 4, 2004
Strutting with the Oedipal joy of a sickly buoy besting his strapping papa at Bagatelle, B-rudder Inspektor approached the lectern and spake thusly-
"You’re working hard to put food on your family.
You’re working hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your family.
You’re lactating hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your family.
You’re lactating hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your hot rod hamster.
You’re lactating hard to smear Aung San Suu Kyi on your critics' pets, including said hamster.
That hamster is counter-lactating in Port Said. These words, THESE WORDS, sweet sycophants and paint-splashers, are as Cognac to my very being. And it is very being."
Mice skulked knowingly over the deft deltoids of the audience, deaf to such navigation. In Paris they filtered, anxiously recalling previous instances where Muscovite scholars perpetuated the locust.
-- This we know.
This all has been established.
So…
Why is the Somali throwing rocks at the pregnant goat?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:41 PM on June 4, 2004
"You’re working hard to put food on your family.
You’re working hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your family.
You’re lactating hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your family.
You’re lactating hard to put Aung San Suu Kyi on your hot rod hamster.
You’re lactating hard to smear Aung San Suu Kyi on your critics' pets, including said hamster.
That hamster is counter-lactating in Port Said. These words, THESE WORDS, sweet sycophants and paint-splashers, are as Cognac to my very being. And it is very being."
Mice skulked knowingly over the deft deltoids of the audience, deaf to such navigation. In Paris they filtered, anxiously recalling previous instances where Muscovite scholars perpetuated the locust.
-- This we know.
This all has been established.
So…
Why is the Somali throwing rocks at the pregnant goat?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:41 PM on June 4, 2004
No, wait. Wait. I know this one. wait. no, it's, -- wait. I definitely know this. It goes back to that time with the, the thing, that thing, that -- that thing, with the -- the hamster lactating, that means the -- hang on a second, I totally have this, I swear I totally know the answer to this one, man that's a clever one, you really know how to word it, you nailed it, you nailed it, man that was perfect, and it almost completely stumped me, I swear to god I thought it was unsolvable, I was about to go to bed with that sense of emptiness, of something unsolved and unsolvable, either by design or neglect, but no, what I thought in the first place was subpar questioning was actually a stroke of genius in terms of the phrasing, you of course know all this, in fact you're probably laughing your superior metaphorical nipples off at the contortions you've put the rest of us through, but just so you know, in case it wasn't clear from the pretzel shapes we're twisting ourselves into to see if we can understand what's really happening here, over here on this side of the whole equation it's still kind of amazing that there even could be an answer, even a partial answer, even a clue or an arrow in the sand beside the path, that little indication of a solution becomes itself kind of a revelation, after accepting disappointment so completely into one's life it's kind of a mindfuck to have to pull the log back out of the fire, or push the milk back into the teat as it were, because despite the complete lack of faith I had in the way the dilemma was worded, I realized with kind of a start as I pulled the warm milk out of the microwave in attending to my final preparations before beddy-bye, it hit me, and I think I have it, though I respectfully request that you let me make sure in my head that the solution I've got flipping around in there is right, because I know how angry you'd get if it winds up being the wrong answer, with the tempers erupting all over like seventeen thousand-odd little Krakatoas, or eighty-five hundred-odd wet nurses, whichever, I could see how a problem such as the one you posed above, if answered incorrectly, could cause some of those dormant grillers in the midst to spew forth in a lavaflow of hate or worse, and lord knows we don't need any more of that, right, especially today, not after the hellacious day we had here on the blue, not even going into my personal life, though the sturm und drang, the son et lumière of my actual day had a great bearing on my ability to actually work out the finer points of the logic and lateral thinking of the workaround that led me to what I'm almost positive is the answer, which I'm ninety-nine point nine percent sure I've worked out, but there's a crucial point, the crux, the hinge, the I'm-sure-the-Germans-have-a-word-for-it, that I want to make sure is worded as carefully as what's already come above, so I'm thinking hard before I work this out, but I think I have a clue, I think I really have a clue, I really think so, and it involves making a couple of assumptions about a few things, and perhaps in the harsh light of tomorrow this solution might not hold water, but I'm pretty sure that, if this is not exactly the properly-worded answer, that maybe it's on the right track, and possibly future posters or even generations if it gets that far might be able to pick up from there, stand on the shoulders of giants in a metaphorical sense, not that I'm a giant either mentally or physically but, well, okay it's not the best metaphor, but even if where I'm going with this is completely wrong, totally utterly counterproductively wrong, Wrongosarus Rex, even in a case like that, however unlikely I believe it to be, even should that be true, this broken logic might help point some people in some directions that they might not have otherwise pursued, and should that be the case, then my efforts and very occasional lactic eruptions of inspiration might have, after all, come to some good.
posted by chicobangs at 9:39 PM on June 4, 2004
posted by chicobangs at 9:39 PM on June 4, 2004
chicobangs, if you put all of your words together, you'll have created the German word for it.
posted by Salmonberry at 2:45 AM on June 5, 2004
posted by Salmonberry at 2:45 AM on June 5, 2004
Goodwelcome to the neologismistic hour. Uspresent have manymany new lettercombos for you to underlearn today. So absorbucate these lettercombos into your individuocabulary.
qualitigous (kwah-li-TISH-us) - high quality litigation
slashmetafarkation - the process of reposting the same link on all of the major link sites
nonsensiblism - a totally silly concept
hanfecaled - the state of having wiped your ass but accidentally got some of 'it' on your hand
intrababble - a bunch of talk (like this thread) full of nonsensiblisms and in-jokes (adj: intrababblistic)
I fare you goodtimes, and am forwardlooking to seeing your individuocabularies grow hereforth! I also forwardlook to your individuosuggestions on lettercombos to add to my list.
posted by wackybrit at 10:00 AM on June 5, 2004
qualitigous (kwah-li-TISH-us) - high quality litigation
slashmetafarkation - the process of reposting the same link on all of the major link sites
nonsensiblism - a totally silly concept
hanfecaled - the state of having wiped your ass but accidentally got some of 'it' on your hand
intrababble - a bunch of talk (like this thread) full of nonsensiblisms and in-jokes (adj: intrababblistic)
I fare you goodtimes, and am forwardlooking to seeing your individuocabularies grow hereforth! I also forwardlook to your individuosuggestions on lettercombos to add to my list.
posted by wackybrit at 10:00 AM on June 5, 2004
You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they ain't no friends of mine.
Sorry. But it's the best I could think of on such short notice.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:36 PM on June 5, 2004
Sorry. But it's the best I could think of on such short notice.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:36 PM on June 5, 2004
wackybrit, i suggest the following be added to your elequent idium:
starbuxian - item having an overly gentrified quality
jujifruitfulness - soft squishy and sticking to your teeth
orgeo - the process of eating a full bag of oreos at once
posted by NGnerd at 11:02 PM on June 5, 2004
starbuxian - item having an overly gentrified quality
jujifruitfulness - soft squishy and sticking to your teeth
orgeo - the process of eating a full bag of oreos at once
posted by NGnerd at 11:02 PM on June 5, 2004
My name is Inigo Montoya, and I endorse this message.
posted by eddydamascene at 12:51 AM on June 6, 2004
posted by eddydamascene at 12:51 AM on June 6, 2004
Cinco: 1 7 4 17 2 7 5 6 6 5 3 9 6 2 3 5 3 5 4 7 2 4 3 8 6 2 6 4 4 7 3 4 5 2 4 5 3 2 5
posted by filmgoerjuan at 10:54 AM on June 6, 2004
posted by filmgoerjuan at 10:54 AM on June 6, 2004
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posted by Captain_Tenille at 12:51 PM on June 4, 2004