1 Highway, 0 City

September 13, 2004 11:54 AM

Meet the CXT. "We can see it a as a vehicle for business people who want to make distinct impression. For personal use, it's for people who want to make a statement." I think it will leave a little more than an impression.
posted by gazingus (87 comments total)

I wonder how many assholes are lining up to buy this one.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 12:00 PM on September 13, 2004

Oh, good, it's been way too long... Let the Quarterly MetaFilter Orgy of Self-Righteous SUV Bashing begin!
posted by JollyWanker at 12:02 PM on September 13, 2004

Probably many of the same ones who bought a Hummer. Because, in the never-ending battle for small penis compensation, too much is never enough.
posted by tommasz at 12:03 PM on September 13, 2004

Wow, talk about the wrong way for consumer vehicles to evolve...

My nine-year-old son would probably encourage me to buy one. It definitely makes an impression, but not necessarily one I'd like to make. And it doesn't look like a smart driving choice for about 99.9999999% of the people I see on the streets (myself included).
posted by alumshubby at 12:04 PM on September 13, 2004

The big question here: how big is the tax break on this baby?
posted by hackly_fracture at 12:06 PM on September 13, 2004

Life imitates parody yet again.
posted by brownpau at 12:09 PM on September 13, 2004

Product Page here, from International Trucks.
posted by kokogiak at 12:11 PM on September 13, 2004

So I see the new for Ford Exorbitant being completely outdone. It's very similar to the Kenworth Pilgrimage.
posted by NewBornHippy at 12:12 PM on September 13, 2004

Canyonero, Canyon..... ah the hell with it. Satire is dead.
posted by jokeefe at 12:12 PM on September 13, 2004

If you're buying it for your business, it's a business expense, I guess. I'm no tax lawyer or accountant, but I understand that most of the faux-Hummers sold in this town are written off in that way. Likewise a fair number of the small-penis compensatory crew-cab V8 pickup trucks, usually driven by middle-aged men with thinning hair, pot bellies and trophy wives.

The *real* Hummer, the civilian version of the HMMWV, makes sense if you're living off-road out in the sticks in Wyoming or Montana someplace. The ("H2") Hummer is a total joke; it's a topheavy bastard child of a Chevy Tahoe and....well, I dunno, maybe an armored car. You quite literally couldn't get me to take one for free; they're nothing but problems from wallet to parking place.
posted by alumshubby at 12:13 PM on September 13, 2004

Gross Weight: 25,999 lbs. Yes, that's 13 tons.
posted by kokogiak at 12:15 PM on September 13, 2004

Criminally vulgar.
posted by ParisParamus at 12:15 PM on September 13, 2004

Trademarked Phrase defining this beast: "The Brilliance of Common Sense".

Satire, dead indeed.
posted by kokogiak at 12:17 PM on September 13, 2004

Does it burn bio-diesel?

I plan on running all you nay-sayers over when I get mine. ALWAYS NAY-SAYING!

Does it come in mauve?
posted by Jeremy at 12:25 PM on September 13, 2004

I would have sworn someone switched out the Onion's logo with CNN's on the page featuring this story.
posted by adamms222 at 12:26 PM on September 13, 2004

Holy crap, Paris, we agree on something!?

*passes out, falls off chair*

:)

sorry dude couldn't resist.

I'm sure I'll see one here on the streets of Los Angeles within a month or two, being driven by a small but very attractive woman wearing a king's ransom worth of jewelry, and of course talking on her cell phone.

Great. A semi-based pickup truck.
posted by zoogleplex at 12:26 PM on September 13, 2004

I'm sure a lot of those SUV-driving suburban housewives would take offense, and be confused by, the penis-compensation comments.
posted by dhoyt at 12:30 PM on September 13, 2004

in this country, some of us are dumber than a mud hole.
posted by mcsweetie at 12:31 PM on September 13, 2004

Just when you thought they could go no further. This has to be some kind of joke.
posted by a3matrix at 12:33 PM on September 13, 2004

I'm gonna need a bigger keychain to key that fucker.
posted by Busithoth at 12:33 PM on September 13, 2004

Solutions to SUV abuse ?

1. remove tax break unless registered and used by companies who really need to transport bulk frequently and/or

2. demand truck driving licence, additional insurance etc. Driving a truck is not the same as driving a car, it's even more dangerous (longer breaking times, reduced manouverability, more dangerous to other drivers in the even of an accident)

Enjoy freedom of driving SUV with -actual- not theoretical responsability, thank you.
posted by elpapacito at 12:35 PM on September 13, 2004

:)
posted by ed\26h at 12:36 PM on September 13, 2004

I'm holding out for the hybrid model.
posted by grateful at 12:36 PM on September 13, 2004

Is that Optimus Prime?
posted by blueshammer at 12:40 PM on September 13, 2004

It'll make an impression, all right. In the pavement.
posted by laz-e-boy at 12:47 PM on September 13, 2004

Does it come in mauve?

No but it does come in Pepsi Blue!
posted by m@ at 12:55 PM on September 13, 2004

And you wonder why the rest of the world thinks you're a shower o' bastards.
posted by reklaw at 1:00 PM on September 13, 2004

I really really really think that people should need to be specially licensed to drive some of those big SUVs.
posted by jpoulos at 1:01 PM on September 13, 2004

jpoulos, just like the drivers of those enormous RVs. It boggles my mind that someone with a license to drive a passenger car can just drive away in a vehicle the size of a school bus with no additional training required. Add the towing of an additional vehicle, and you've got a tractor trailer rig.
posted by tommasz at 1:06 PM on September 13, 2004

This is hardly an SUV. It's a true truck with all of the maintenance and performance issues that such a vehicle brings. I think it likely that it will find its place more in the commercial world, commerical landscaping businesses and the like, than as a suburban assault vehicle.
posted by bz at 1:09 PM on September 13, 2004

"True trucks" are the new SUVs.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:13 PM on September 13, 2004

I really really really think that people should need to be specially licensed to drive some of those big SUVs.

Gross Weight: 25,999 lbs. Yes, that's 13 tons.

It's one pound short of requiring a CDL.

This isn't for serious, right? I can type "LOL" now, right? Don't let me down here.
posted by moift at 1:14 PM on September 13, 2004

I'm waiting for the Hybrid version.
posted by prodigalsun at 1:15 PM on September 13, 2004

Get in line with grateful.
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:20 PM on September 13, 2004

Tangentially, I heard this story on NPR this weekend: Car-SUV bumper mismatch costly, study finds [non-audio, non-NPR link]

Basically, low-speed SUV-to-car accidents cause ungodly amounts of damage because the difference in ride-height making bumpers basically useless.

This terrifies me every time I see a soccer mom attempting a 54-point turn out of a dunkin' donuts parking lot in her Frontier Armada Super Extended XVT-SST.


Of course, it's probably irrelevant for the CXT, because it will just liquify anything/one it runs into...meaning you don't have to worry about those pesky hood-scratches.
posted by tpl1212 at 1:23 PM on September 13, 2004

"daddy, when I grow up, I want to be a tonka truck"
posted by Kwantsar at 1:24 PM on September 13, 2004

I can't wait to see Xibit's West Coast Customs pimped out Navistar. Wonder if it'll roll on 36" spinners.
posted by mathowie at 1:31 PM on September 13, 2004

Damn, I knew I should've waited before I bought my TT.
posted by substrate at 1:31 PM on September 13, 2004

I guarantee you I'll see one of these fuckin' things driving through the rough terrain of the Flatiron District within 2 months.
posted by jonmc at 1:38 PM on September 13, 2004

Hopefully they're only going to be selling these things to self-made trucking magnates and the children of mideast potentates. This thing has air brakes! Some states require a special endorsement to operate an air brake vehicle, which is no joke.
posted by coelecanth at 1:44 PM on September 13, 2004

And I giggle when people act as if they don't know why it's done. Because when it's not, shit like this happens. Because we can. Because we're idiots.

Except for enlightened uber-beings like yourself of course.

I don't like this stupid vehicle any more than you do, but your high and mighty attitude makes me wanna drive one of 'em through a forest full of spotted owls while blaring Toby Keith.

And until you realize that's the effect your screeds have on people, they'll continue to fall on deaf ears.
posted by jonmc at 1:50 PM on September 13, 2004

I see it as the perfect accessory for a Von Dutch cap.

If you're only buying a car to make a statement, wouldn't this be a better choice?
posted by eatitlive at 1:51 PM on September 13, 2004

They expect to sell a whole fifty of these this year! It's definitely time to get our collective panties in a wad. Fifty, do you hear me? Fifty!
posted by kindall at 1:56 PM on September 13, 2004

Imagine the fun you’ll have honking the horn. Otherwise this truck will be a pain; climbing in & out, waking up the neighborhood, maneuvering, parking in BFE & no drive thru pick ups. Which will make it useless for the person on the go and especially those without a truck stop near by for fueling.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:56 PM on September 13, 2004

So how many lawyers will benefit when a new owner of one of these takes it on a rocky off-road expedition for the first time, punctures that large, low down gas tank and blows themselves up?
posted by normy at 1:59 PM on September 13, 2004

Over one thousand soldiers dead. So please, kindly go fuck yourself. This car should be classified as a war crime.

Agreed.

8 to 10 miles a gallon. Diesel.

10 miles a gallon, 2 soldiers a day. Nothing is going to get in the way of my way if life -- freedom is at stake. What are we? Europeans?
posted by NewBornHippy at 2:01 PM on September 13, 2004

Just when you thought they could go no further.
Minus the bed, see these driven daily. So what is stopping truckers from driving their big rigs as their main vehicle everywhere?
posted by thomcatspike at 2:04 PM on September 13, 2004

It's all about trucker chic these days.
posted by Dukebloo at 2:05 PM on September 13, 2004

XQUZYPHYR: I’m not sure if your post was a satirical one or not. But if it was, it was funny.
posted by ed\26h at 2:08 PM on September 13, 2004

So what is stopping truckers from driving their big rigs as their main vehicle everywhere?

Because it's a pain, because there are regulation on the weight
of things going down the residential, because it feels like work, etc...
posted by NewBornHippy at 2:09 PM on September 13, 2004

Question is, will we see hipsters driving these ironically?
posted by cell at 2:16 PM on September 13, 2004

will we see hipsters driving these ironically?

If you did and you wore a trucker cap, where would the irony begin and end?
posted by mathowie at 2:20 PM on September 13, 2004

Oh... it wasn't satirical at all.
posted by ed\26h at 2:21 PM on September 13, 2004

Oh... it wasn't satirical at all.

Not intentionally so, anyway...
posted by jammer at 2:28 PM on September 13, 2004

Oh, and:

Metafilter: This car should be classified as a warcrime.
posted by jammer at 2:29 PM on September 13, 2004

XQUZYPHYR: I think jonmc was probably indulging in a bit of hyperbole. To take his statement literally would not seem very wise. Some people may have found your level of outrage a little pharisaic.
posted by ed\26h at 2:29 PM on September 13, 2004

See, ed? I don't have to do anything... Set 'em up, and humorless fuckwits like xquzyphyr do all the work for ya! Goldarn but this is great ass country, ain't it?!
posted by JollyWanker at 2:29 PM on September 13, 2004

More is better, bigger is better, smaller is bad, smaller is a sign of weakness. Big truck good, big big big truck better.

Does this stupid monument to excess come with a rocket launcher in the gun rack? Or a mini-gun? Or both?
posted by fenriq at 2:33 PM on September 13, 2004

Eh, fuck it. Why not just buy a Semi? Peterbilt has some fantastic buys these days.
posted by psmealey at 2:41 PM on September 13, 2004

These vehicles should be used as a means of assisting the evolution of the human being. It'd be self-selection for extinction at its finest.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:51 PM on September 13, 2004

This is interesting, completely aside from the more-is-better aesthetic. In 1980, International (now Navistar) was in deep financial straits, and was bailed out by the Big Three. The conditions were, however, that International had to get out of the passenger-vehicle market. At the time, IH (International Harvester, affectionately known as "binders" for some reason) made full-size pickups, Suburban-type truck-based station wagons, and the Scout II, which was in competition with GM's Blazer, Ford's Bronco, and Dodge's Prospector - forerunners of today's SUVs. (More's the pity, because the proposed 1981 Scout III looked like a 1994 Blazer and would have mangled the competition.)

I'm interested in how, exactly, Navistar can do this in light of the prior deal with the Big Three.
posted by notsnot at 2:54 PM on September 13, 2004

The CTX is weak. I'm holding out for one of these.
posted by danherwig at 2:55 PM on September 13, 2004

Eh, this is too fancy for a landscaper's truck. You can get a flatbed truck with straps much cheaper and it is actually better for a lot of things, such as tall b&b trees. The picture does not impress me with regards to what you could haul in it.
posted by bargle at 3:01 PM on September 13, 2004

Wow, danherwig, they have one of those in Crimson Skies that you can fly past. (uh, or crash into when you try to fly thru it... *blushes*)

kindall, I know they're planning on building only 50, but when several thousand rich assholes clamor for their own after XZibit and Schwarzenegger buy theirs and show 'em off on TV, they will smell a whole lotta profit and perhaps revise the number up some.

As with my earlier statement and agreeing with jonmc, I suspect there will be a disproportionate number of these sold in the NY, LA, DFW and Miami metro areas.
posted by zoogleplex at 3:07 PM on September 13, 2004

than a solution to the thousands who have died because of our oil policy

I suggest nanotechnology. Because the first thing we get with nanotechnology is the resurrection of the dead.
posted by kindall at 3:10 PM on September 13, 2004

It's just a smallish big rig and so few will be built that it doesn't make much sense to whinge about it. Besides Kenworth/Peterbuilt/PACCAR already built a similar vehicle several years ago and for about the same price.

I've only ever seen one on the road.
posted by bz at 3:53 PM on September 13, 2004

That is the most ridiculous vehicle I've ever seen... at least the Kenworth Pilgrimage was just satire.
posted by clevershark at 4:16 PM on September 13, 2004

I love how the article describes it as “258 inches” long and 2 inches longer than a Crew Cab. Yep. That a big penis. . . substitute.
And, its 4 ½ feet longer than you’re your neighbour’s Hummer !
posted by Zetetics at 4:22 PM on September 13, 2004

I reserve every right to consider myself a better person than you.

This is revealing. Now we know what your truly all about. Call me when you grow up, yuppie boy.
posted by jonmc at 4:26 PM on September 13, 2004

but when several thousand rich assholes clamor for their own after XZibit and Schwarzenegger buy theirs and show 'em off on TV, they will smell a whole lotta profit and perhaps revise the number up some.

Yes, they are so easy to mass produce the streets will be filled in months. The truth the rich have the money to buy whatever they want no matter the price. All they did here was make the smaller size big rig (used to haul cement) cab fancier inside and add a pickup bed. Looking at the limousine industry as this type of customizing has been happening for years.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:27 PM on September 13, 2004

and by the way, XQUZYPHYR, for a cartoonist, you have the most anemic sense of humor I've ever seen. Might wanna work on that.
posted by jonmc at 4:32 PM on September 13, 2004

So what is stopping truckers from driving their big rigs as their main vehicle everywhere?

Judging from the conversations I've had with independent truckers, probably fuel costs. Diesel is slightly cheaper than gasoline, but at the rate these monsters drink it, driving a rig is expensive. They get better mileage when not hauling a load, but only marginally. The maintenance and oil/tire costs are a lot higher than for passenger vehicles too.

(I worked at a truck stop way back in high school)
posted by alumshubby at 4:36 PM on September 13, 2004

Forgive my "anemic sense of humor" for not finding a handful of wars over our right to waste shit worth ignoring because you think I'm condescending.

Y'ever stop to consider that your being condescending makes people take an instant dislike to you, and makes them want to ignore whatever it is your saying?

Probably not.

Which tells me that it's more about your ego than the causes you claim to espouse.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on September 13, 2004

a handful of wars over our right to waste shit

I tip my hat. Brief, accurate AND pointed! (and no, I'm not being sarcastic. That describes the situation perfectly.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:21 PM on September 13, 2004

they used to build these in Niagara Falls, ON.
that cab is two storeys in the air! And those payloads are in standard tons (ST) and metric tonnes (MT)-- meaning you could carry 10 CXTs and still have room for enough dirt to landscape your neighbourhood.

To hell with the Navistar.
posted by Badmichelle at 5:22 PM on September 13, 2004

XQUZYPHYR, your point is plenty valid. But if your rhetoric manages to piss off me (someone who basically agrees with you), it probably wouldn't do much to convince someone on the fence or unfamiliar with the controversy. Which can only lead me to the conclusion that you don't actually care about convincing anyone (which is what it takes to produce change) but merely about being "right," and winning arguments. this is what's known as self-righteousness, and it gets in the way of making points.

This vehicle isn't really the issue, since less than 1% of the population could even think about owning it. But the larger issue of fuel efficient vehicles is important. Calling people "idiots" is not a terrific way to open up dialog, but I think you knew that.
posted by jonmc at 5:28 PM on September 13, 2004

Or to put it another way, I'd actually like to see some changes made as far as this issue goes. Your attitude hinders that rather than helps, so that's what I'm calling you on.
posted by jonmc at 5:30 PM on September 13, 2004

This vehicle isn't really the issue, since less than 1% of the population could even think about owning it. But the larger issue of fuel efficient vehicles is important. Calling people "idiots" is not a terrific way to open up dialog, but I think you knew that.

Not to but in, but you're right. "Uber-being" is sooo much better.
posted by cohappy at 5:56 PM on September 13, 2004

In a stroke of pure luck, an advertising campaign has already been prepared by Number One.


From this thread.

posted by theora55 at 6:04 PM on September 13, 2004

The CXT is a criminal vehicle. Crimes against humanity.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:29 PM on September 13, 2004

Start Running Over Hippies At Your Dodge Dealer

That's a tagline I can support.

BTW: The XRT = abomination.
posted by keswick at 7:29 PM on September 13, 2004

So, has the exemption of the pickup from SUV-type scrutiny finally been voided?

What the hell took so long?
posted by NortonDC at 8:23 PM on September 13, 2004

(International Harvester, affectionately known as "binders" for some reason)

I've always thought it comes from "combine[1]" 'cause International originally made farm tractors. This nick isn't new, I've see text written in the 40's referring to IH trucks as binders.

tommasz: Add the towing of an additional vehicle, and you've got a tractor trailer rig.
Blows me away too. Mind you here in Alberta you can tow your boat behind your fifth wheel on a passenger car license.

All this out rage is pretty funny though. These kind of trucks have always been available just without the pick up style box (and free advertising on CNN). Mostly because it's pretty useless in this size range. You'd go with either a flat deck, service body or van body. Commercial vechicles of this weight and up have been availalbe with leather seats, microwaves, playstations, beds etc. etc. for _years_. Most sleeper equiped tractors are little mini apartments on wheels. When your dropping $100K-300K+ on a truck the dealer will get you anything you want.

[1] Itself short for combination. In this case a combination of thresher and swather in one unit.
posted by Mitheral at 8:56 PM on September 13, 2004

The uselessness being the pick up box not the CNN advertising.
posted by Mitheral at 9:55 PM on September 13, 2004

This thing would certainly blocka your driveway...

(Warning: Audio begins immediately - adjust speakers according to your rocking preference)

Don't Blocka My Driveway!
posted by Sr_Cluba at 11:33 PM on September 13, 2004

This vehicle isn't really the issue, since less than 1% of the population could even think about owning it. But the larger issue of fuel efficient vehicles is important. Calling people "idiots" is not a terrific way to open up dialog, but I think you knew that.

XQUZYPHYR makes perfect sense to me. The point is not who will actually buy one of these, but how many are going slit their wrists because they want one so fuckin' bad and can't afford it. If I ever see one of these tooling around here, I'd be surprised, but like I said, the point is that now we're going to raise an army of 8-year-olds who think that this sort of shit is not only cool but rational.
posted by hoborg at 11:10 AM on September 16, 2004

Oh, but the humans won't stop there. They'll build bigger boards, with bigger nails, until one day they build a board with a nail so big, IT SHALL DESTROY THEM ALL...
posted by Krrrlson at 1:02 AM on September 17, 2004