Maybe there is a god...

September 22, 2004 12:13 PM

God hates Bush voters.
posted by jpburns (46 comments total)

While I find this amusing, we should remember that it was icky when Falwell blamed 9/11 on America's acceptance of homosexuality and it is icky when we blame devastating hurricanes on Florida's Republican bent. Of course, Hurricanes are arguably more of an act of God than terrorist attacks, but it is still an icky suggestion.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:16 PM on September 22, 2004

It's not quite accurate either. Then again my skeptical sense hones in on any claim of something "unmistakeable".
posted by clevershark at 12:20 PM on September 22, 2004

It's definitely a interesting little coincidence (if that). But I would hardly consider those blue-colored counties as being "spared" the wrath of the hurricanes.
posted by Witty at 12:23 PM on September 22, 2004

While I find this amusing, we should remember that it was icky when Falwell blamed 9/11 on America's acceptance of homosexuality and it is icky when we blame devastating hurricanes on Florida's Republican bent.

I was getting the impression that this was a send up of that mindset, not another example of it. But I could be wrong.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:25 PM on September 22, 2004

Geez, Witty... Take off your headphones when you post!
posted by jpburns at 12:26 PM on September 22, 2004

Oh, this is bad. This will buy at least as much time in purgatory as lining up your classmates in Catholic school and passing out Necco wafers like communion hosts.
posted by caddis at 12:28 PM on September 22, 2004

Al Qaeda has finally worked out the bugs in their weather control machine... their demands will be published soon, I'm sure.
posted by Jart at 12:31 PM on September 22, 2004

Yeah, I first saw this on the Snopes site, which dulled the humor a bit for me, but still: classic.
posted by ChrisTN at 12:37 PM on September 22, 2004

I've been hearing this alot lately. All I can think is: all those little carribean nations that took the brunt of these storms must be real pissed off at all those Bush voters.
posted by rocketpup at 12:41 PM on September 22, 2004

This was on NPR yesterday.
posted by adampsyche at 12:45 PM on September 22, 2004

Ivan destroyed hundreds of homes, utterly decimated nearly 700 businesses in two towns, bankrupted countless families and took the life of a young deaf man here in solidly blue (3-to-1 registered Dems vs. registered Repubs in most areas) western Pennsylvania, so the hypothesis falls flat on its completely unfunny face.
posted by Dreama at 12:48 PM on September 22, 2004

Falwell said Jesus would delay the second coming for another 2000 years if Bush loses the election.
posted by crank at 12:50 PM on September 22, 2004

However unserious a premise this is, I suspect natural disasters favor the President; the security candidate; the known quantity, etc.
posted by ParisParamus at 12:51 PM on September 22, 2004

However unserious a premise this is, I suspect natural disasters favor the President; the security candidate; the known quantity, etc.

Paramus's logic: when good things happen, it's good for the president. When bad things happen, people look to the president for security.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.....
posted by Space Coyote at 12:57 PM on September 22, 2004

willnot posted this here, but look at the actual paths, which euphorb appears to have done a good job overlaying on the map of Florida counties.

It actually looks like the eye of Frances did a good job of hitting isolated Blue counties...and the fact remains that the path of destruction for all 3 hurricanes was far wider than simply the path of their eyes, and really not much of a laughing matter.
posted by pitchblende at 1:01 PM on September 22, 2004

Is that map accurate? Didn't the eye of Charley go over Kissimee, which is in Orange County?
posted by obfusciatrist at 1:02 PM on September 22, 2004

If God really wanted to pass a message along the storms would have converged on Talahassee and stuck around there for a couple of weeks...
posted by clevershark at 1:05 PM on September 22, 2004

Falwell said Jesus would delay the second coming for another 2000 years if Bush loses the election.

::sigh:: Just think of all the great shit I'd have, if only I could remember how easy to manipulate Jesus is.
posted by ChrisTN at 1:09 PM on September 22, 2004

Didn't the eye of Charley go over Kissimee, which is in Orange County?

Yes, I was in Orlando when Charley hit. Orlando had more damage than the national press let on - ostensibly so it wouldn't frighten tourists to the happiest place on earth. But Kissimmee/St. Cloud got really screwed.
posted by stevis at 1:10 PM on September 22, 2004

Some of you are actually discussing the possible validity of this? It's a joke, folks. And not even a Leno-funny joke.

Words fail me...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 1:15 PM on September 22, 2004

Yeah, it's funny, but not in the "That God dude's maybe alright after all, and he sure follows the Electoral College returns closely" kind of way.

It's more the "the only people who will be offended by this are people who are most fun when they're offended" kind of way. So, um, [this is harmless].
posted by chicobangs at 1:38 PM on September 22, 2004

Geez, Witty... Take off your headphones when you post!

That's pretty funny. But this is "Tribute to y2karl Day" ya know. Have fun with it, go crazy.
posted by Witty at 1:38 PM on September 22, 2004

Falwell said Jesus would delay the second coming for another 2000 years if Bush loses the election.

Sounds like a good reason to me!

I mean, honestly, do you want to be judged now?< .i>
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:38 PM on September 22, 2004

Falwell said Jesus would delay the second coming for another 2000 years if Bush loses the election.

Thank God. Getting airline tickets to Tel Aviv airport in time for the 2004 rapture was going to be fucking expensive.
posted by psmealey at 1:42 PM on September 22, 2004

Given that 90% of the surface area of Florida falls in a "red county", it shouldn't be that surprising. Now, if candy fell on the remaining 10%, that would be something.
posted by Hildago at 2:15 PM on September 22, 2004

Aw, Witty, say it ain't so:

this is "Tribute to y2karl Day"

But you said...

I intend [to] use it from now on as my own little personal Mefi-Format.

Please reconsider limiting this to one day. I promise you, it's hella funny.
posted by soyjoy at 2:22 PM on September 22, 2004

This is absolutely true. God did direct those hurricaines around counties where Gore won in 2000.

But that's not the whole story -- it goes much deeper than the county level. Even within the "red" counties, God steered the hurricaines around the homes of people who voted for Al Gore, and right into houses of people who voted for Bush.

Proof? Guy on the left -- pro-choice, gay, PETA member. Guy on the right -- Right to Life of Florida, five kids, NRA member.



Vote Kerry/Edwards '04: Or Else God Will Smite Your Ass
posted by pardonyou? at 2:24 PM on September 22, 2004

(note to self: learn to spell "hurricane.")
posted by pardonyou? at 2:27 PM on September 22, 2004

Falwell said Jesus would delay the second coming for another 2000 years if Bush loses the election.

All the more reason to vote Kerry/Edwards.
posted by eustacescrubb at 2:48 PM on September 22, 2004

Yeah, isn't the Rapture something good, that if you're a believer you want it to happen, and the sooner the better?

I'ma vote for Kerry just so Jesus'll hurry up and get here! Mama & I are sick of waiting!
posted by chicobangs at 3:22 PM on September 22, 2004

If God really hated people who voted for Bush than most of the Midwest and South would be smote with some big ass lightning bolts!

Check out the map and see that sea of red?

Although, HOLY SHIT, Kerry's back in the lead again? When did that happen? Did the wind shift all of a sudden? Or was it Bush's ridiculous speech at the UN?
posted by fenriq at 3:44 PM on September 22, 2004

it was rigged polls showing a fake lead for Bush to begin with.
posted by amberglow at 4:08 PM on September 22, 2004

Proof? Guy on the left -- pro-choice, gay, PETA member. Guy on the right -- Right to Life of Florida, five kids, NRA member.

Uh oh. I'm pro-choice, gay, and vegetarian, but also an NRA member and I'm thinking about adopting a kid. Does this mean I'll lose half my house?
posted by me & my monkey at 4:47 PM on September 22, 2004

nope. just your monkey.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:20 PM on September 22, 2004

not the monkey!

i say the garage gets whacked.
posted by amberglow at 5:34 PM on September 22, 2004

Worse - half your life.
posted by Krrrlson at 5:43 PM on September 22, 2004

but you get to keep the better half.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:23 PM on September 22, 2004

Does this mean I'll lose half my house?

Just the part where you keep your guns.
posted by pardonyou? at 7:32 PM on September 22, 2004

God hates Bush voters.

On the contrary -- God likes them so much, he took them home to be with him!
posted by kindall at 8:53 PM on September 22, 2004

delay the second coming for another 2000 years

Man, that's one helluva refractory interval.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:30 AM on September 23, 2004

Haiti's death toll could hit 2,000. GONAIVES, Haiti -- Hunger and thirst racked survivors Wednesday as Haiti dug mass graves for some of the 1,071 confirmed dead from Hurricane Jeanne. The government said the death toll could reach 2,000.

I find the premise of this thread both unthinking and unfeeling--stupid and nasty, actually. I guess God also hates Haitians, and that's good for a giggle too?
posted by jfuller at 3:14 AM on September 23, 2004

Nah, jfuller, clearly it's okay to laugh at the death and desolation of people so long as they're not like us. Haitian, Republican, what's the difference?
posted by Dreama at 3:20 AM on September 23, 2004

It was just a funny image (... and you should learn to laugh in the face of adversity, geez!) , the idea that the paths of hurricanes would follow electoral demarcations, but yes... I probably feel closer to Haitians than Republicans nowadays...

They're probably reasonable human beings and not hate-filled cultural fascists.
posted by jpburns at 4:06 AM on September 23, 2004

If there is a Christian God, then by definition doesn't he love everyone? I'm confused.
posted by moonbiter at 5:06 AM on September 23, 2004

Nope, moonbiter, you've got it. The red counties get all three branches of the federal government, and the blue counties get to keep their houses.

That's equal treatment in the eyes of the Lord, right?
posted by chicobangs at 5:48 AM on September 23, 2004

As someone who works at a college in Orlando, and lives just outside it in Oviedo (NE of Orlando), I say we just have to laugh about those damned hurricanes. Both times Oviedo got slammed really hard. And as of this morning, we're supposed to be getting Hurricane Jeanne making landful sometime midday on Sunday between Daytona Beach and Titusville, which will bring the little b*tch right into Central Florida again.

We may have lost many material things here, but I'll be (fill in with choice word here) if I'll lose my sense of humor too.

A sense of humor doesn't preclude feelings of sympathy and compassion for those victims of this terrible hurricane season.
posted by Beansidhe at 11:12 AM on September 23, 2004