Authentic Gop

January 17, 2005 5:37 AM

Authentic GOP.com Healing a divided America.
posted by ColdChef (62 comments total)

Yeah, I know this is probably going to turn into a political shitfest, but I just had to share two things:

1. Hey Hollywood Farenheit This: What does this even mean? I understand what they're going for, but...
2. A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car.: Was this really prevalent enough to demand a tee shirt?
posted by ColdChef at 5:38 AM on January 17, 2005

1. I guess it's just an "Up yours, Michael Moore" -- he must have made someone nervous or, at the very least, uncomfortable. As far as they're concerned, Machel Moore was the only person really putting up a fight.

2. Prevalent enough to demand a tee shirt? Of course not--but we're not talking about being rational, here. We're talking about politics. Plus, I have to admit, I found that one to be amusing.
posted by ThePrawn at 5:55 AM on January 17, 2005

These are some sick, sick people.
posted by nofundy at 5:56 AM on January 17, 2005

Please do not feed the trolls.
posted by srboisvert at 6:02 AM on January 17, 2005

Matt should just delete this one... it serves no purpose, for either side...
posted by HuronBob at 6:08 AM on January 17, 2005

Womp womp.
posted by rocket_skates at 6:09 AM on January 17, 2005

1 and 2: They're just jokes. Like a "Jesus is my homeboy" tee-shirt. No different than any of these.
posted by sciurus at 6:15 AM on January 17, 2005

"womp womp" ...????

ok...i don't get it.....but i'm old and stupid......
posted by HuronBob at 6:15 AM on January 17, 2005

What HuronBob said. And thank you for the link sciurus, now I don't have to find a stupid anti-bush t-shirt site myself to make the same point.
posted by Arch Stanton at 6:20 AM on January 17, 2005

Hey Hollywood Farenheit This What does this even mean?

Fahrenheit This = Suck On This
posted by matteo at 6:25 AM on January 17, 2005

Check out these winners.
posted by orange clock at 6:28 AM on January 17, 2005

Wasn't "Hollywood" reluctant to even distribute Fahrenheit 9/11...? It doesn't even make sense.
posted by mote at 6:54 AM on January 17, 2005

Wow!! Those T-shirt designs are Nascarrific!!

And by that, of course, I mean, ugly as hell.
posted by Balisong at 6:55 AM on January 17, 2005

I'm pretty sure Chicago is not "Bush country," despite what this shirt would have you believe.
posted by SisterHavana at 6:56 AM on January 17, 2005

the nascar and footbal helmet ones are quite nice. clearly they have identified their target audience. can't wait to see that in line in front of me at the walmart.

as for the "bush country" shirt, um... looks a little too red, doesn't it? it was closer than that, all over the place. but let them gloat if they must. it makes them happy. and sort of makes them look like fools, too.

now how long before the sports illustrated special commemorative edition comes out, complete with a W hat and video highlights of the GOP's amazing national championship run? the perfect gift for politics fans everywhere!
posted by caution live frogs at 6:57 AM on January 17, 2005

it's time for our minute of hate ... hate hate hate hate hate
posted by pyramid termite at 7:02 AM on January 17, 2005

it's strange when you are on the wrong side of history, kill a lot of innocent people, destroy lives, and engender fear and hatred for your culture what you have to do in order to feel okay about it all.....
posted by crunchywelch at 7:07 AM on January 17, 2005

This company's going to fail. How can you sell t-shirts to red states if your largest size is only XXL?
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:10 AM on January 17, 2005

Dunno about t-shirts, but I finally saw one of those "Save Marriage" yard signs for the Ohio referendum against letting gays marry. Yeah, that'll save marriage, all right. I can hear the divorce rate plummeting already.
posted by alumshubby at 7:11 AM on January 17, 2005

Speaking of T-shirts....my favorite one yet is the "Republicans for Voldemort."
posted by alumshubby at 7:12 AM on January 17, 2005

Now that's a nice present for your liberul coworker isn't it ? Imagine his face :D ! Buy two, make a librul bitch !
posted by elpapacito at 7:14 AM on January 17, 2005

now all we need are some lightning bolts....
posted by gren at 7:17 AM on January 17, 2005

Mayor Curley wins, bellies out.
posted by notreally at 7:19 AM on January 17, 2005

So these t-shirts... they vibrate?
posted by rusty at 7:38 AM on January 17, 2005

So the GoOPers co-opt football, eh?

Did they watch SoCal, from the bluest of blue states kick the asses of OK, the reddest of red states? Mars, bitches!! :-)

Gonna co-opt NASCAR too?
Petty and Gordon are Democrats. Phhhttt!!!! :-)
And a Viagra car is just hilarious!
Ernest T. or Forrest Gump? You go GOoP!
Bubba wants an XXXXL size. So does Bubette.
posted by nofundy at 7:44 AM on January 17, 2005

hey folks, we're all staring to sound a little crazy!
posted by moonbird at 8:21 AM on January 17, 2005

I wonder if I can get the "America is Bush country" shirt, the one with the red map, customized. I just want a picture of me sobbing on the front.
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 8:28 AM on January 17, 2005

A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car.

It's not really fair to call the H2 a car.
posted by jimfl at 8:30 AM on January 17, 2005

All politics aside, at least some of the shirts are nicely designed... If I have to wade through another CafePress store I'll scream.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:47 AM on January 17, 2005

g-g-g-gag.....
posted by LouReedsSon at 9:49 AM on January 17, 2005

coldchef why did you do this?
posted by glenwood at 9:49 AM on January 17, 2005

Thanks for the link. My husband will be happy to see it...I really would like to have the Ronald Reagan tshirt.


Yes, I bookmarked it.
posted by konolia at 9:55 AM on January 17, 2005

moonbird - hooooooly shit, that's scary.
posted by chundo at 9:59 AM on January 17, 2005

chundo - any article that originally comes from The Swift Report may be at least a little teensy bit unreliable.
posted by Guy Smiley at 10:10 AM on January 17, 2005

these people must be making a fortune. Their ability to infuse Nascar, football, and "W" in uncanny.
posted by thanatogenous at 10:12 AM on January 17, 2005

Their ability to infuse Nascar, football, and "W" in uncanny.

Yeah, that's a problem. I like football, I don't mind NASCAR, and I'm a Democrat. We should take it back from 'em.
posted by jonmc at 10:25 AM on January 17, 2005

I'm so confused. What's the attraction? I'm trying to imagine a Briton in a t-shirt decorated with "Tony Blair -- 2005" or "Tories own your family" or "THATCHER!" or some other scary the-leader-is-god legend and it's just not happening. Why do these tops sell?
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 10:27 AM on January 17, 2005

A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car.: Was this really prevalent enough to demand a tee shirt?


Yes.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:29 AM on January 17, 2005

I'm pretty sure Chicago is not "Bush country," despite what this shirt would have you believe.

I duno if you monitor has poor resolution, but you can clearly see the blue spec of Cook County on the lake.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:32 AM on January 17, 2005

Steve, I've known some difficult leftists in my time, but I've never known one who would do that. And if they did, the owner of said car would be perfectly justified in popping him one. But shirts like that seem kind of chip-on-the -shoulderish if you ask me, no matter who's wearing them.

Why do these tops sell?

I don't know that they do. I've known some Republicans in my time, but I've never known one to wear something ike these.
posted by jonmc at 10:33 AM on January 17, 2005

It's a not-particularly-side-splitting play on "Team America: World Police"'s signature line, "Hey, Terrrorist -- Terrorize This!"
posted by inksyndicate at 10:46 AM on January 17, 2005

konolia wrote: I really would like to have the Ronald Reagan tshirt.

Not even getting into the aesthetics of the shirt, I feel compelled to point out that Ronald Wilson Reagan presided over the most egregious violation of the US Constitution in American history. This should be appended, in my opinion, to every attempt to canonize the man. As in: "Ronald Wilson Reagan, the president whose administration committed the most egregious violation of the US Constitution in American history, is someone whose visage I'd like to wear on my chest."

And ArmyOfKittens, for the record, the idea of someone producing - let alone buying and choosing to wear - a t-shirt emblazoned with the name and/or likeness of a contemporary Canadian prime minister is equally unimaginable, unless it were some sort of gag, like when the frat boys painted their chests with the letters B-A-S-H-O for Robert Pinsky's poetry reading on The Simpsons. ("Banana Tree!")
posted by gompa at 10:54 AM on January 17, 2005

coldchef why did you do this?

It seemed funny this morning. Now? Not so much.
posted by ColdChef at 11:08 AM on January 17, 2005

Almost as good as the mefi front page ads: bushblackout.com and Go Cheney Yourself.
posted by tomplus2 at 11:10 AM on January 17, 2005

A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car

A compassionate conservative sent our children to die in the desert.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:15 PM on January 17, 2005

A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car

I tried to buy this shirt but they only accept paypal :(
posted by rajbot at 12:42 PM on January 17, 2005

Gompa, it might help you if you knew I share a last name with the man.
posted by konolia at 12:45 PM on January 17, 2005

it might help you if you knew I share a last name with the man.
Yeah, but Paris and Steve are two of his illegitimate sons. Can you beat that? ;-) :-p

BTW, the only reason I don't currently have my political opinions on a bumper sticker on my car, is that I have experience with supporters of Law and Order and America's Tradition of Liberty cutting the sidewalls of my tires. And I'm (1) not alone and (2) in a 'solidly blue' county.
posted by wendell at 1:15 PM on January 17, 2005

Gompa, it might help you if you knew I share a last name with the man.

That does help. I'm truly sorry that my overzealous (and likely quixotic) attempt to push back against the forces of Gipper Diefication has claimed you, an apparently innocent bystander.
posted by gompa at 1:30 PM on January 17, 2005

2. A person of tolerance and diversity keyed my car.: Was this really prevalent enough to demand a tee shirt?

Would some please explain this strawman to me. Whenever one of those right-wingers complains that those on the left should should be tolerant of their more extreme views I respond by saying, "Hate and intolerance should never be tolerated by anyone."

I mean, everyone is allowed free speech, but free speech comes with consequences, or at least so says Sean Hanity. If you disagree with Hanity that's just un-American
posted by Bag Man at 1:53 PM on January 17, 2005

Well, gompa, I AM a Republican too, so no sorrow on your part necessary ;-)
posted by konolia at 2:21 PM on January 17, 2005

moonbird: The odd part about that post is that, of course, just by reading it, you become afflicted.

You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
posted by FormlessOne at 4:17 PM on January 17, 2005

Add some flames and that Reagan shirt would be awesome.
posted by wfrgms at 6:45 PM on January 17, 2005

Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

--funny, in not one place did the writer of Matthew document Jesus saying "Blessed are the fat fucks who are full of pride and like to kill people"

Then there was #6 of the 10 commandments...
"Thou shalt not kill."

I wonder how they get around Iraq and Capital punishment with that....
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:01 PM on January 17, 2005

howzabout this
posted by nanojath at 7:32 PM on January 17, 2005

Don't you people get it? Politics doesn't affect anyone! It's all just a game! GO TEAM!
posted by fungible at 7:37 PM on January 17, 2005

Whenever one of those right-wingers complains that those on the left should should be tolerant of their more extreme views I respond by saying, "Hate and intolerance should never be tolerated by anyone."

So you are intolerant of intolerance?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 7:57 PM on January 17, 2005

Intolerance to intolerance will not be tolerated!!
posted by Balisong at 11:21 PM on January 17, 2005

Hands of Manos, stop with the Muslim propaganda!

My personal favorite: "If a man should strike you on the cheek, offer him the other also."

Never does it say, "If you think a man might be considering gaining the capability to strike you, strike him first."
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 6:37 AM on January 18, 2005

Never does it say, "If you think a man might be considering gaining the capability to strike you, strike him first."

YES IT DOES!!! You know, it says it in the Bible...



...in the back.
posted by Bag Man at 9:38 AM on January 18, 2005

..somewhere...in the fine print...IT'S IN THERE!!!!
posted by Bag Man at 9:40 AM on January 18, 2005

So you are intolerant of intolerance?

So Steve, you support intolerance, hate and unequal rights?
posted by Bag Man at 11:50 AM on January 19, 2005