Best use of beer ever.

January 28, 2005 2:37 PM

Best use of beer ever.
posted by knutmo (48 comments total)

Normally I'd frown on a single link to an Ananova article, but drinking 60 beers to pee your way out of an avalanche is pretty cool
posted by driveler at 2:40 PM on January 28, 2005

and now my kidneys hurt. What I really think is amazing is at the bottom of the article where it says some parts of Europe have been hit with 10 feet of snow in less than a day. Sheezz..

singing> 60 bottles of beer in the car... 60 bottles of beer...
posted by daHIFI at 2:40 PM on January 28, 2005

Bob & Doug McKenzie would be proud, Aye Hose Heads.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:57 PM on January 28, 2005

a true feel good story! thanks, knutmo!
posted by mr.marx at 3:02 PM on January 28, 2005

The alcohol tolerance of this guy must be pretty high. After the 10th bottle of beer I would probably be on a very deep state of unconciousness.
posted by dov3 at 3:06 PM on January 28, 2005

The question is, did he remember peeing his way out of an avalanche in the morning?

Or, did he wake up with the avalanche's really, really ugly friend?

This is a great story!
posted by fenriq at 3:06 PM on January 28, 2005

But...what kind of beer was it?
posted by lobstah at 3:06 PM on January 28, 2005

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday

Sounds like a good holiday to me.
posted by swordfishtrombones at 3:08 PM on January 28, 2005

dov3, that's kind of what I was thinking but then I reread this, four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains. It took him four days of drinking to pee himself out.

Damn! I wonder if he hates beer now?
posted by fenriq at 3:10 PM on January 28, 2005

fenriq, thanks. I missed that part
posted by dov3 at 3:15 PM on January 28, 2005

How could you hate the very thing that saved your life?

Now he'll probably keep 60 bottles of beer in the trunk at all times, next to the flares and the blankets.
posted by mosch at 3:16 PM on January 28, 2005

That guy's my hero, but even if it took him four days to drink and pee all of that out, he could still drink me under the table.

I still don't think that would have occured to me, though. Living in Minnesota, I was taught about frostbite at an early age and learned later on that alcohol + exposure don't really mix. I think I'd have been too worried about getting hypothermia (with the alcohol only increasing those chances) to really consider it. Then again, I've never been trapped in my car for four days under all that snow, so who knows what would seem like a good idea at the time?
posted by ibidem at 3:22 PM on January 28, 2005

I wonder if he hates beer now?

I'm wondering if he hates urine now....
posted by melt away at 3:22 PM on January 28, 2005

His friends will never believe him. He will be the butt of jokes for years. It sucks when the truly unbelievable happens.
posted by snsranch at 3:25 PM on January 28, 2005

This is... inspiring stupifying loins warming something.
posted by The God Complex at 3:28 PM on January 28, 2005

Damn! I wonder if he hates beer now?

I'm pretty sure this is not possible.
posted by cmonkey at 3:33 PM on January 28, 2005

This would be really hard to do. If it's true a photo of his path out would be amazing.
posted by sled at 3:34 PM on January 28, 2005

This man freed his way to peedom!

I can't wait to see what Disney does with this truly amazing feel-good adventure.
posted by tittergrrl at 3:43 PM on January 28, 2005

And let me add... that situation of his really was a pisser.

(THANK MY WRITERS! GOOD NIGHT!)
posted by tittergrrl at 3:45 PM on January 28, 2005

Feel good drunk story of the year.
posted by mullingitover at 3:47 PM on January 28, 2005

I'm American and You're-a-pee'in
posted by alteredcarbon at 3:50 PM on January 28, 2005

Riiiiiiiiight. He drank the 60 half-litre bottles of beer in order piss his way out of an avalanche. What’s his story going to be the next time he goes on a four day bender and there’s not a snowdrift in sight?
posted by psmealey at 3:50 PM on January 28, 2005

am I the only one that doesn't believe this story? anyway, true or not, I still think it's peetastic
posted by mcstayinskool at 3:52 PM on January 28, 2005

I doubt it was Imperial Russian stout.
posted by lathrop at 3:55 PM on January 28, 2005

He couldn't have just ... poured the beer onto the snow, right? Would it have frozen? Or was it the principle of the thing?
posted by coelecanth at 3:58 PM on January 28, 2005

i'm an unbeliever too. 4 days, 60 bottles of beer, no food, no water? in subfreezing weather?

Richard Kral is a good Czech hockey player. not Slovak, though.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:03 PM on January 28, 2005

Hoo Boy! How many under age kids are going to be using this excuse:

But Dad! The weatherman said snow flurries possible. I should at least take a six pack with me, just in case.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:03 PM on January 28, 2005

Sorry but I will also have to call bullshitte on this one. As psmealey said previously, it is a great way to explain "a week" of drinking 60 liters of beer and crashing your Audi.
posted by Ranger03 at 4:23 PM on January 28, 2005

Exactly my thoughts, mcstayinskool and coelacanth.

Just how much snow can you melt with 30 liters of pee?
He couldn't have been buried very deep.
posted by sour cream at 4:27 PM on January 28, 2005

hey you, urine trouble!
posted by nearo at 4:29 PM on January 28, 2005

At what point is hypothermia a problem - ya know, out in the cold, don't drink or eat anything cold because it lowers your body temperature... and then you die. I would think this would happen well before four days with no heat or significant food.

Perhaps this is the uncle of the baby named Yahoo...
posted by fluffycreature at 4:30 PM on January 28, 2005

I don't know that hypothermia would have really been an issue, he would have been in a fairly enclosed environment that was probably not that cold - since he is essentially protected from the outside temperature (or maybe I don't know that the hell I'm talking about). My question is. wouldn't he have run out of oxygen if he was buried that deeply?
posted by fizz-ed at 4:39 PM on January 28, 2005

Couldn't he just have eaten some of the snow and then peed that snow onto other snow, or would that be too postmodern?
posted by etc. at 4:42 PM on January 28, 2005

He couldn't have just ... poured the beer onto the snow, right? Would it have frozen? Or was it the principle of the thing?
Your urine would be heated to your current your body temperature which should be hotter than the car's inside air temperature.

10 feet of snow

It is hard to believe, until your realize the snow's volume is less in liquid form. But still for the unbelievers; which way did he pee, vertically or horizontally? Not knowing how far in front of you the snow keeps going vertically from you, I think you would pee vertically…so how was that accomplished, with a 10 foot dick?
posted by thomcatspike at 4:44 PM on January 28, 2005

Couldn't he just have eaten some of the snow and then peed that snow onto other snow, or would that be too postmodern?
Have read in survival books eating snow will not hydrate you. Any backpacker care to elaborate.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:47 PM on January 28, 2005

etc.: exactly what I was thinking, since I (cover your eyes, cmonkey) hate beer.

It also occurred to me that, if I did like beer and was in this guy's predicament, I TOTALLY would've made Beer-tastic Sno-Cones.™
posted by Dr. Wu at 4:51 PM on January 28, 2005

i think snow is OK for hydration, but it lowers your body temperature, which is bad. it can also be awfully dirty, with other stuff in there. i think you're supposed to melt it first (preferably boil it, of course).
posted by mrgrimm at 4:54 PM on January 28, 2005

...and that's the REAL reason St. Bernards carry kegs of booze around.
posted by humannature at 5:07 PM on January 28, 2005

thomcatspike: But still for the unbelievers; which way did he pee, vertically or horizontally?

Uh, it says right in the article. Here, I'll quote it for you: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it."

So, he was peeing down, but clearing the snow from above.

My guess would be that he scooped some into the car to get it out of the way first (which he says he was doing, until he realized the car would be filled before he managed to make it out). After that, he either came up with the idea to pee in the spot he'd cleared out to melt it and replace it with more snow (lather, rinse, repeat), or he had a need to relieve himself, did it in the cleared spot, observed the results, then got tanked on the only liquid he had available to reproduce those results.

It still seems fishy, though. 4 days of alcohol with no food or water in the freezing cold. People have died from far less, but people have survived far worse, too.

thomcatspike: Have read in survival books eating snow will not hydrate you.

That's true. Eating snow will not only lower your overall body temperature more quickly, but your body has to work to warm it up in your stomach, which uses more energy (and, thus, will dehydrate you more quickly). It's also an issue of purity, as the snow is no cleaner than the water from which it froze. Mmm, pathogens.
posted by ibidem at 5:12 PM on January 28, 2005

As with all Ananova stories, I'm left wanting more. (Details, not beer. Or pee.)

The story says he had 60 half-liters of beer in his car because he was going away, right? Maybe he'd also packed plenty of Cool Ranch Doritos and SlimJims, or the Slovakian equivalent, thus solving the food (or "food") problem. And maybe he had a wee camp stove or some potable water. Or maybe it was a miracle.

Most likely, he went on a four-day bender and improvised heroically when the rescue crew found him. And kudos for the effort -- I've never managed anything nearly as convincing when discovered drunk and staggering.
posted by vetiver at 6:50 PM on January 28, 2005

Well, I'm a believer. So now I wonder if piss-my-way-out-of-an-avalanche guy is going to become as famous as trapped-by-a-rock-so-I-cut-my-arm-off guy.
posted by spilon at 7:13 PM on January 28, 2005

The fact that The Sun is reporting the exact same story neither helps me believe it nor makes me disbelieve it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:07 PM on January 28, 2005

Aye Hose Heads.

Aye? Surely you mean EH! Imposter!
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:23 PM on January 28, 2005

To Darwin. *clink* (When life hands you lemons...)
posted by postmodernmillie at 9:37 PM on January 28, 2005

So now I wonder if piss-my-way-out-of-an-avalanche guy is going to become as famous as trapped-by-a-rock-so-I-cut-my-arm-off guy.

Somehow pissing your way to freedom doesn't have quite the same je ne sais quoi that hacking your arm off with a dull Leatherman does. After all, he still has all of his parts.
posted by MiHail at 10:13 PM on January 28, 2005

I wonder if he hates beer now?

I'm wondering if he hates urine now....

I wonder if he hates snowcones
posted by ElvisJesus at 2:32 AM on January 29, 2005

DON'T EAT THE YELLOW SNOWCONES!!
posted by humannature at 2:13 PM on January 30, 2005

Snopes has listed it as "Undetermined," though it sounds like a Chzeck e-mail hoax.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:24 PM on February 2, 2005