movies

February 9, 2005 2:32 AM

They haven't gotten around to 2004 yet. But they perfectly sum up the state of hollywood by presenting...The Three Least Shitty Movies Of 2003. Plus the Least Shitty Actors, etc. SFW except for some language. Handy if you are looking for bittorrent inspiration. Also see THE TOP 100 MOVIES OF OUR TIME on the front page. You can argue your case streuously but no fighting. Though how anyone can take it seriously when Withnail & I does not appear on it is beyond me.
posted by milkwood (25 comments total)

The other day I heard someone talking about 2007, and it kind of freaked me out. 2005 is hard, but I'm dealing with it. 2007 just seems like an impossible number. Thank you for making me think I've got an extra year to get used to the concept.
posted by underer at 3:03 AM on February 9, 2005

Hulk was most definitely shitty.
posted by fire&wings at 3:41 AM on February 9, 2005

I really don't see the point of this, they're the same films that appeared on most 'best of 2004' lists but called least shitty instead of best, not exactly a breakthrough in film criticism. And they're a year late, which pushes them even further into irrelevancy.
posted by biffa at 3:51 AM on February 9, 2005

Oops, I meant 'best of 2003' lists.
posted by biffa at 4:48 AM on February 9, 2005

I don't know, biffa... I think it isn't irrelevent enough!
posted by TwelveTwo at 4:58 AM on February 9, 2005

They havent even gotten around to #30 - #1 in their "top 100" list. How can you have a top 100 without a top 10 ?! You know thats all anybody really wants to see.
posted by sophist at 5:04 AM on February 9, 2005

Though how anyone can take it seriously when Withnail & I does not appear on it is beyond me.

Sorry, but Withnail & I is the most overrated "cult" movie ever. At a friend's gathering recently I gave it another shot (watched it several years ago, didn't like it) and didn't even finish it this time. Amateurish writing, acting, and directing. It does have a few moments--namely the stoner/dealer guy with the 'fro--but those don't add up to much.

/imho, of course
posted by zardoz at 5:37 AM on February 9, 2005

zardoz, the drug seller scenes in Withnail are probably the most pedestrian parts of the entire movie.

I take great issues with some of their choices on the (incomplete) top 100 list. Malcom X as #32? Come on! Sure it was a good movie, but are they seriously contending that there were only 31 movies better?

Liar! You've got antifreeze!
Don't be mad! You should never mix your drinks!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:51 AM on February 9, 2005

zardoz, the drug seller scenes in Withnail are probably the most pedestrian parts of the entire movie.


potayto, potahto, tomayto, tomahto....
posted by zardoz at 5:55 AM on February 9, 2005

...let's call the whole thing awful.

(just a joke -- have yet to see Withnail)
posted by papercake at 6:10 AM on February 9, 2005

Hmm. Pretty lame. I went through their best of list. Many fine films, but very little out of the mainstream, and very few foreign titles. I read things like this to get ideas, not drink from the font of other people's unsupported wisdom.

Still, I do like the idea of "least shitty" Hollywood films.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 6:35 AM on February 9, 2005

Holy shit what a horrible site. The text is unreadable, and they use java and some other unnecessary crap that causes my computer to freeze.
posted by cloeburner at 7:12 AM on February 9, 2005

"Hulk" "The Return of the King" "The Matrix Revolutions" "CONfidence"

...
posted by ludwig_van at 8:17 AM on February 9, 2005

Withnail & I is the most overrated "cult" movie ever.

I'd argue that Donnie Darko takes the cake on this one.

I mean, is there anyone besides me who's seen this movie and just sort of liked it, as opposed to thinking it's the most intelligent piece of indie filmmaking since the 70s?

(zardoz, I haven't seen W&I yet, but at least one person whose opinion I respect holds it in high regard, so I'm reserving judgment.)
posted by hifiparasol at 8:18 AM on February 9, 2005

Their least shittiest movies of 2003 included some of the shittiest movies of 2003. Phone Booth.

PHONE BOOTH!?!?!?!

I am speechless.

(Phone Booth?)
posted by goatdog at 8:23 AM on February 9, 2005

Phone Booth was godawful, although seeing anything with Colin Farrell generally gives me hives. Yipes.

hifiparasol, I'm with you on Donnie Darko. It's a fun movie, but it wasn't life changing or anything.
posted by fet at 8:28 AM on February 9, 2005

I will happily join the donnie Darko pile-on. It really didn't seem that difficult to understand either, which seems to be the other fuss people made about it.
posted by biffa at 8:33 AM on February 9, 2005

hifiparasol, nope, I agree, I thought Donnie Darko was interesting but nowhere near the masterpiece that most people seem to think it is.

And pretty much any movie with Colin Farrell in it is going to suck. Phone Booth was a pathetic waste of time and the guy really just cannot act.

Colin Farrell is the new Carradine of Hollywood, if he's in it, its gonna suck.
posted by fenriq at 8:34 AM on February 9, 2005

They also think Johnny Depp is a good actor. All he does is a second rate camp Keith Richard's impression.
posted by johnny novak at 8:43 AM on February 9, 2005

Dang, shoulda' previewed.

They also think Johnny Depp is a good actor. All he does is a second rate camp Keith Richard's impression.

Yo, don't step on the Depp, man. Anyone Hunter S. Thompson calls "The Colonel" has my respect. Plus, he got his start on 21 Jump Street, man! Jump Street!!

He's better than Tom-I-am-the-fucking-greatest-and-only-play-the-greatest-Cruise.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:49 AM on February 9, 2005

I'm with johnny novak, I hate that little snarky diffident auitistic pretty boy chump Depp, too. Not that yuppie dwarf narcissist Cruise is much better, but he dosen't excite quite the emnity in me that Depp does, possibly because he isn't as deified.
posted by jonmc at 9:43 AM on February 9, 2005

I'll agree Depp's better than Tom Cruise, but that's really only damning him with faint praise.
posted by johnny novak at 9:50 AM on February 9, 2005

Donnie Darko has a great web site, which explains some things that were confusing in the original cut (in its own equally obscure way).

I think Withnail & I is one of the best screenplays ever written, but it's so perfectly English that I'm not surprised many Americans are non-plussed by it.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:03 AM on February 9, 2005

You guys all suck. Johnny Depp is a great, fun actor. And he's pretty good at picking consistently good projects.

Also, Donny Darko is a good movie. It's not the best movie ever, and it isn't utter crap either. It is at least three times better than Napoleon Dynamite.
posted by graventy at 10:12 AM on February 9, 2005

I totally agree with them on some movies - the Matrix Revolutions for example:

HUGO WEAVING
Of course not! Look around you,
you're surrounded by billions of me!
How can you not realize it's
pointless?

KEANU REEVES
(shrugging)
I'm Keanu Reeves, what the hell do
you expect?

HUGO converts KEANU into another HUGO clone.

HUGO WEAVING
I win!

OTHER HUGO WEAVING
Which makes you lose, because any
system must balance itself.
Everything that has a beginning has
an end. Nyah!

All of the HUGO WEAVINGS EXPLODE.

HUGO WEAVING
(exploding)
What? This is bullshit!

AUDIENCE
Seriously.

(Script from the superb Editing Room.)

And I agree with them about Elephant. If beauty really is terror, Elephant was a beautiful movie in my book. Achingly so. It has the added bonus of not having been filmed to make massive amounts of money.
posted by paperpete at 2:47 PM on February 9, 2005