Geek Fantasies

May 13, 2005 10:10 AM

Geek Fantasies : No nudity, but moderately NSFW. Happy friday, yall.
posted by gnutron (40 comments total)

Your Magic Missile... has been... resisted.

Awesome.
posted by gurple at 10:16 AM on May 13, 2005

Why is the joke always that geek fantasies involve geektastic subjects ... with a naked chick. I would think geeks have more imagination. Sorry. I didn't mean to shit in the first comment.

The blonde looks like Kim Cattrall's sister.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:18 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude, that Optimus Prime knockoff toy is no longer in mint condition. That wench opened the box.

Philistines.
posted by DaShiv at 10:23 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude why is it that geek fantasies always involve a chick? I'm straight dammit.

True DaShiv, true.
posted by dabitch at 10:24 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude why is it that geek fantasies always involve a chick? I'm straight dammit.

I think that means you are a geek fantasy.
posted by GeekAnimator at 10:34 AM on May 13, 2005

Neither one of those chicks is wearing glasses. FAKE!
posted by deborah at 10:36 AM on May 13, 2005

This is pretty funny. It's even funnier, because those models are some pretty tough-looking strippers. I imagined the strippers I encountered in Northern Maine, and what would happen if I asked them to repeat Flying Circus dialogue.

(For the record, these girls are hotter then the northern Maine dancers.)
posted by Mayor Curley at 10:41 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude, magic missile doesn't have a saving throw.
posted by hindmost at 10:41 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude, why is it that geek fanatasies always involve humans?

Bring on the dancing Twi'leks, baby!
posted by taocow at 10:44 AM on May 13, 2005

Reminds me of Tokyo Damage Report's reviews of japanese cosplay hostess bars.... see, the fantasy isn't that you're talking with an anime character, it's that you're talking with a regular girl who is into cosplay and also is interested in you. x.x
posted by anthill at 10:45 AM on May 13, 2005

ah, i've always preferred

http://www.haxxxor.com/

(probably NSFW)
posted by lumpenprole at 10:46 AM on May 13, 2005

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Classic.
posted by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on May 13, 2005

Pretty funny.
posted by Outlawyr at 10:55 AM on May 13, 2005

Dude, magic missile doesn't have a saving throw.

She said resisted, so she was probably referring to generic magic resistance.

Bring on the dancing Twi'leks, baby!

Okay, now you've ignited my saber.
posted by DaShiv at 10:55 AM on May 13, 2005

I think hindmost has a point -- magic missiles do physical damage, don't they, not magic damage? And they don't have a saving throw... so can you resist them?

I think there are some cases in which you can resist physical damage, but this is getting way over my head. Curse you, you enigmatic bikini'd temptress!
posted by gurple at 11:10 AM on May 13, 2005

Geek fantasies aren't about women with breast implants and tramp stamps - they're about Geek girls(mp3).
posted by Tenuki at 11:11 AM on May 13, 2005

They may be mouthing geeky lines, but these girls don't look geeky in the slightest. Critical failure!
posted by squidlarkin at 11:17 AM on May 13, 2005

Magic Missile is still subject to SR.
posted by Foosnark at 11:18 AM on May 13, 2005

I you haven't already, I recommend you check out www.haxxxor.com. No nerd would want to miss the OSI 7-Layer Network Model Striptease [Preview Mov].
Thanks for posting the link, lumpenprole! I thought I'd seen it all...
posted by Herr Fahrstuhl at 11:25 AM on May 13, 2005

They are bikini clad women and you knuckleheads are arguing about whether magic missle has a saving throw or not....
posted by davros42 at 11:27 AM on May 13, 2005

that's why they're geeks...having fantasies...
posted by jonmc at 11:30 AM on May 13, 2005

hee, this link is as good as rolling a 20. thanks, gnutron! spanish inquisition #3 is my fave but #5 starwars tix was pretty awesome, too. ditto what deborah and jonmc said. :)
posted by mosspink at 11:42 AM on May 13, 2005

Too damn much makeup. I'd be fantasizing about what they might REALLY look like. Hillary? Nixon? Quonsar?
posted by davy at 11:51 AM on May 13, 2005

Geek fantasies aren't about women with breast implants and tramp stamps - they're about Geek girls.

Isn't that what the whole Suicide Girls foofaraw was all about?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:00 PM on May 13, 2005

Eh, if she were really a geek, she'd be wearing this shirt.

But yea, as a geek, I'd say that I'm far far more likely to have an enjoyable fantasy with a moderately attractive geek girl than a hot girl who doesnt want to go see Episode III with me. Which makes the idea of a hot girl who does want to go see episode three a great fantasy.... because I'm pretty sure, whether I had six days or six years, finding a hot girl to go see star wars with me would be impossible. Its hard when you're a mix of Napolean Dynamite (minus the dancing) and Bill Gates (minus the money).
posted by SirOmega at 6:41 PM on May 13, 2005

Ha!

I read all the comments first and was expecting something pretty lacklustre. Hilarious!

So right about the (lack of) glasses. The truly geeky guys want the (hot under all that nerdiness) geeky girls.
posted by dreamsign at 7:40 PM on May 13, 2005

Was anyone else freaked out by the belly tatoos?
posted by Alison at 9:00 PM on May 13, 2005

Oh YES< BIG big yes, that TI-85 action is why I majored in math!!! I want more baby, more!!!! Yummy!
posted by buzzman at 10:02 PM on May 13, 2005

I think belly tattoos are *incredibly* tacky. I mean, ok, above the navel, fine, but the whole ring-around-the-navel stuff. Uh-uh.

Now a tattoo on the small of a woman's back -- at least that has a catchy name -- a tramp stamp. heh.
posted by dreamsign at 11:51 PM on May 13, 2005

These are painfully obvious wannabe geeks, who don't even actually want to be geeks! What ever happened to downloading pictures of Agent Scully naked, people?

Okay, I realize this is supposed to be humorous, but I'm just embaressed for these girls. If geek boys weren't salivating over this sort of thing, they'd notice there are lots of cute geeky girls out there who wear bikinis and handle graphic calculator (albeit, not often at the same time) without being paid to do so!

finding a hot girl to go see star wars with me would be impossible

I think my boyfriend, who is going to a 12:01am showing (and dressing up on my insistence) would disagree with you.
posted by nelleish at 8:17 AM on May 14, 2005

I think my boyfriend, who is going to a 12:01am showing (and dressing up on my insistence) would disagree with you.

Agreed, Geek guys that can’t find a lady geek are usually the type that never leave the house or step away from the computer.
posted by Tenuki at 9:08 AM on May 14, 2005

Agreed, Geek guys that can’t find a lady geek are usually the type that never leave the house or step away from the computer.

As opposed to those sports-playing, party-animal, gregarious geek guys.
posted by dreamsign at 9:32 AM on May 14, 2005

As opposed to those sports-playing, party-animal, gregarious geek guys.

No, but there are geeks that are capable of socializing outside IM.
posted by Tenuki at 9:57 AM on May 14, 2005

So, am I the only one that thinks this site might be a joke?
posted by kevspace at 10:10 AM on May 14, 2005

The TI calc is where #4 fell down. Ain't no self respecting geek going to be using those over an HP RPN model.

nelleish: I think my boyfriend, who is going to a 12:01am showing (and dressing up on my insistence) would disagree with you.

We'll be needing to see pictures for this to be a valid argument.
posted by Mitheral at 10:45 AM on May 14, 2005

this is so bad. no, kevspace.
posted by blacklite at 12:49 PM on May 14, 2005

But yea, as a geek, I'd say that I'm far far more likely to have an enjoyable fantasy with a moderately attractive geek girl than a hot girl who doesnt want to go see Episode III with me.

As a geek with taste, no fantasy of mine is going to involve a girl who has the vaguest hint of the beginning of an interest in going to see Episode III.
posted by bingo at 2:46 PM on May 14, 2005

You just need to expand your imagination. As a geek with taste, part of your fantasy would be that Episode III turns out to be a genuinely terrific film.
posted by Zair TL at 8:35 PM on May 14, 2005

Mitheral: eh, that isn't going to prove or disprove his opinion of me. My point was if one geek can find (and keep!) what he considers a hot girl, who is more than willing to see Star Wars with him (among other geeky things) it ain't impossible, nor confided to the realm of fantasy. SirOmega could very well be making some geek girl very happy, if he didn't labour under the misapprehension that actual cute geek girls don't exist. We may not all be HAWT, but geek girls can have just as ridiculously trying a time finding a suitable partner.
posted by nelleish at 8:51 PM on May 14, 2005

Sorry about the late reply....

SirOmega could very well be making some geek girl very happy, if he didn't labour under the misapprehension that actual cute geek girls don't exist

I actually operate under the assumption that all cute geek girls are either taken or dont like men - they do exist, just none which are single. The ratio of male geeks to female geeks would seem to support this idea.

Or perhaps I'm just always at the bus station when my plane is departing.
posted by SirOmega at 3:19 PM on May 16, 2005