puerile adolescent snickering
May 28, 2005 2:58 PM   Subscribe

Onancock Some towns just have bad names.
posted by longsleeves (97 comments total)
 
...
posted by ori at 3:03 PM on May 28, 2005


IHOP on Cox (Rd.)
posted by ElvisJesus at 3:09 PM on May 28, 2005


It's funny because it sounds like masturbation and penises.
posted by killdevil at 3:11 PM on May 28, 2005



posted by quonsar at 3:13 PM on May 28, 2005


Just to add some content to this thread: we were driving up the Northern Neck a few weeks ago and stopped in Onancock for dinner at Armando's; the food was good, in a routine way, and we liked sitting at the counter watching Armando cook everything. So that's what to do in Onancock.
posted by escabeche at 3:17 PM on May 28, 2005


dildo, newfoundland
posted by quonsar at 3:18 PM on May 28, 2005


put yourself in montana!
posted by quonsar at 3:21 PM on May 28, 2005


Athol, Massachusetts.
posted by ericb at 3:22 PM on May 28, 2005


Onancock Some towns just have bad names

There's no need to be a dick about it.

/not funny, I know
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 3:25 PM on May 28, 2005


felch, michigan
posted by quonsar at 3:26 PM on May 28, 2005


Virginia is for...
posted by Wolfdog at 3:26 PM on May 28, 2005



posted by quonsar at 3:27 PM on May 28, 2005


yes kids, and that was the day that MeFi spontaneously regressed back to middle school...
posted by fatbobsmith at 3:28 PM on May 28, 2005


you're fat.
posted by quonsar at 3:29 PM on May 28, 2005


I live a couple miles from Big Bottom Road. Does that count for anything?
posted by ChrisTN at 3:30 PM on May 28, 2005


yes kids, and that was the day that MeFi spontaneously regressed back to middle school...
I know you are, but what am I?
posted by ElvisJesus at 3:31 PM on May 28, 2005



posted by quonsar at 3:34 PM on May 28, 2005


did i win yet?
posted by quonsar at 3:38 PM on May 28, 2005


Kentucky: Land of equal opportunity.
posted by fatbobsmith at 3:40 PM on May 28, 2005


Metafilter: Spontaneously regressing back to middle school since 1999.

on preview, quonsar, I thought you'd already won up there with your photo at Fucking.
posted by nkyad at 3:41 PM on May 28, 2005


Seattle.

What? Did I do it wrong?
posted by Simon! at 3:41 PM on May 28, 2005


aw snap...I lose. please forgive me html gods
posted by fatbobsmith at 3:42 PM on May 28, 2005


If you like sniggery names, come to Sussex (England). I live just round the corner from Cockmount Lane, and quite near Cocking Place.

A old girlfriend of mine used to live near the Piddle Valley, down in Dorset.
posted by athenian at 3:43 PM on May 28, 2005


quonsar smells!
posted by clyde at 3:43 PM on May 28, 2005


hehe, weekends... fatbobsmith, how many minutes after that park was created was it first called the blow-job park?
posted by nkyad at 3:45 PM on May 28, 2005


The name (o-NAN-cock), meaning “foggy place” in an Indian language, comes from a native tribe whose king Ekeeks introduced Englishman John Pory to oysters and “batata” (potatoes) in 1621. After burning his mouth on a steaming tuber, Pory groaned “I would not give a farthing for a truckload.
posted by gottabefunky at 3:49 PM on May 28, 2005


Aw, c'mon guys. Quonsar hardly ever wins, so we ought to give him this one. Even though Bone Lick Park was a contendah...
posted by spacewrench at 3:57 PM on May 28, 2005


This here is retarded.
posted by jonson at 4:22 PM on May 28, 2005




Time to godwinize this baby. Do I win second place?
posted by shepd at 4:23 PM on May 28, 2005


French Lick, Indiana.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:29 PM on May 28, 2005


This is the greatest thread in the history of metafilter. Wait, in the history of the ENTIRE WEB!

No, not really, but I do hope it survives. It's cute.
posted by absalom at 4:31 PM on May 28, 2005


worst. thread. evar.
posted by delmoi at 4:33 PM on May 28, 2005


Iron Knob, South Australia.
Blue Knob, New South Wales.
posted by Jimbob at 5:01 PM on May 28, 2005


How about Toad Suck, Arkansas.
posted by zardoz at 5:03 PM on May 28, 2005


It's funny because it sounds like masturbation and penises

Exactly.
posted by longsleeves at 5:03 PM on May 28, 2005


Climax, MN
posted by nathan_teske at 5:07 PM on May 28, 2005


Lizard Lick, North Carolina.
posted by esoterica at 5:17 PM on May 28, 2005


Erect, North Carolina. Pronounced EE-rekt.
posted by esoterica at 5:19 PM on May 28, 2005


A fairly extensive list. Not sure why some of them are in there, but others, like, say, Asbestos, Quebec, and Loveladies, New Jersey, are spot-on.
posted by esoterica at 5:27 PM on May 28, 2005


Arrogant Worms: A Night In Dildo

Oh Newfoundland, oh Newfoundland
An island in the sea
I love you oh so very much
I joined the Ministry
To show you people ‘round the rock
When tourist season's here
Although in my opinion
It's a gem throughout the year

Well if you're one for swimmin'
Don't think it's out of reach
You can go and take a dip along Grosse Water Beach
I know the name's misleadin'
That's quite a problem here
Instead let's go to Goobie's and have ourselves a beer

Chorus:
From Woody's Point to Come-by-Chance to good old Fairyland
Come take a look at Gander, Blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let their names deceive you
Newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night in Dildo if you think you've got the time

Well you can go to Blow-Me-Down
Before it gets too dark
Oh sorry ma'am, I should've said
That's our provincial park
There's also Whippet Harbor
Or maybe Butterpot
Or maybe I'll just hit the pub,
I'm feeling like a shot.

Well you can sail at Quidi Vidi
And look at Joe Batt's Arm
There's Placentia and there's Cow Head (moo)
They're so full of charm!
Get married down in Kilbride
Have a party in Hate Bay
Or have some screech in Fogo and forget about the day

Chorus

And now the Drinking Verse:
raa ra ra raa ra raa ra etc...

Chorus

So spend a night in Dildo if you think you've got the time (x3)

COD!

posted by five fresh fish at 5:34 PM on May 28, 2005


My favorite Virginia town, closely followed by this little gem.
Hee. Hee hee.
posted by ottergrrl at 5:39 PM on May 28, 2005


strange, rude, funky or absurd place names

(five fresh fish, did you swipe that from krunk?)
posted by languagehat at 5:51 PM on May 28, 2005


Ottergrrl -

My best friend's mother lives in Dyke, VA. We were trying to find our way there late one night, and stopped at a gas station for directions. I walked in and asked the woman behind the counter where I could find Dyke.

She was not best pleased, and I had a lot of explaining to do before she believed that I wasn't just being rude.

True story!
posted by Uccellina at 5:52 PM on May 28, 2005


OK, this was referenced in esoterica's link (which includes about a thousand names), but I always found it hilarious that the Grand Tetons out west are named the French term for "big tits." I guess the fur-trappers who named them had been away from home a long, long time and were, er, projecting.
posted by BoringPostcards at 6:14 PM on May 28, 2005


What about Punta Gorda, Florida? My Spanish isn't great, but I do believe the translation is "Fat bitch". Can anyone corroborate?

Also, I think someone should have given a second thought to naming the new subdivision down the road from my house "Beaver Creek".
posted by PrincessLara at 6:41 PM on May 28, 2005


quonsar, directions to my office used to be I75 north then 69 to Big Beaver. Out of towners never knew if we joking or not.
posted by arse_hat at 6:50 PM on May 28, 2005


In New Haven, Conn. you can find Dixwell Rd & Cumley St [google maps].
posted by rolypolyman at 6:50 PM on May 28, 2005


Grandpa's Knob produced electricity.
posted by arse_hat at 6:54 PM on May 28, 2005


Boys 7-10 years old are welcome to Black Beaver.
posted by arse_hat at 6:56 PM on May 28, 2005


In Middletown, New Jersey there's a street named Gayboy Court.
posted by daninnj at 7:18 PM on May 28, 2005


LH: how do you steal song lyrics from people who didn't write them? It's the The Arrogant Worms, a Canuck touring band. Very witty group.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:25 PM on May 28, 2005


Short Coxe Avenue, Asheville NC
posted by moonbird at 7:36 PM on May 28, 2005


Well, now all we need is a funny names thread and we can just close up shop and go home.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:57 PM on May 28, 2005


What about Punta Gorda, Florida? My Spanish isn't great, but I do believe the translation is "Fat bitch".

Seems like it should be Fat Point, as in the geographic feature.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:03 PM on May 28, 2005


Gaylord, Minnesota
posted by neckro23 at 8:10 PM on May 28, 2005


PrincessLara,
Punta Gorda translates as Fat Point!
posted by Galileon at 8:11 PM on May 28, 2005


So this Broome Street ... it vibrates?
posted by ElvisJesus at 8:19 PM on May 28, 2005


Well, now all we need is a funny names thread and we can just close up shop and go home.
Aren't you home already?
posted by longsleeves at 8:22 PM on May 28, 2005


From Blue Ball to Intercourse is actually only 9.52 miles. Would that it were that easy in a non-geographical sense.
posted by jonp72 at 8:28 PM on May 28, 2005


this is all very arcane from an eponymous blargh standpoint.
posted by quonsar at 8:44 PM on May 28, 2005


Apparently reporters used to go out of their way to file from Sexmoan in the Philippines, before it changed its name.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:51 PM on May 28, 2005


This is kind of tame compared to some of the places mentioned in this thread, but a couple years ago I came across a promotional music video for Regina, Saskatchewan. It was part of some "I Love Regina" publicity/tourism campaign, which apparently still exists.

The video basically consisted of shots of happy people who appeared to love Regina quite a bit doing various happy things there while someone sang "Iiiiiiiiii loooove Regiiina" over and over. Given that Regina is pronounced in a way that rhymes with "vagina" and the "v" sound from "love" kind of slurred with the "r" in "Regina," it sounded a lot like the singer was saying "I love vagina." Puerile adolescent snickering commenced.

Sadly, that video appears to have disappeared from the Regina website, replaced with one that doesn't have the song. :(
posted by Kosh at 8:54 PM on May 28, 2005


esoterica writes "Not sure why some of them are in there, but others, like, say, Asbestos, Quebec, and Loveladies, New Jersey, are spot-on."

Actually Asbestos is named because asbestos used to be mined there.
posted by clevershark at 9:11 PM on May 28, 2005


lol onan
posted by brownpau at 9:23 PM on May 28, 2005


I guess it means that masturbation may be referred to as "praying to St. Onan".
posted by clevershark at 9:25 PM on May 28, 2005


quonsar, i'm really surprised that you didn't point out that planned parenthood in g r has an office on cherry street
posted by pyramid termite at 9:25 PM on May 28, 2005


If you live in the UK there's a directory of smutty locale humour here.

Random post code in Bucks: Mincing Lane, Pishill, Golden Balls, Herbert's Hole etc..
posted by marvin at 9:26 PM on May 28, 2005


Onancock isn't all that far from Assawoman.
posted by ereshkigal45 at 9:32 PM on May 28, 2005


Bald Knob, AR
posted by Carbolic at 9:37 PM on May 28, 2005


Los Banos, California

they say its spanish for "the baths", but anyone who has taken the most elementary Spanish knows its real name.
posted by tsarfan at 9:38 PM on May 28, 2005


Humptulips, Washington deserves mention here. And while we're at it, we should not forget Toppenish, Washington.
posted by derangedlarid at 10:09 PM on May 28, 2005



posted by Hands of Manos at 10:35 PM on May 28, 2005


Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky
posted by obvious at 10:36 PM on May 28, 2005


Of course, who could resist the natural beauty of mianus?
posted by fatbobsmith at 10:48 PM on May 28, 2005


Once me and some friends were driving from Massachusetts to North-Carolina. My driving shift was through Virginia. When I saw the sign for Onancock I nearly drove off the road I laughed so hard.

Good times.

In Iceland there are a number of funny place names. Two that lend itself well to literal translation are a famous, historically significan farm named Shitfarm and a little town that goes by the name Slit Harbor.
posted by Kattullus at 12:31 AM on May 29, 2005


Within 50 miles of my old house, we have: Fingringhoe, Fishpits, Dancing Dicks, Six Mile Bottom, Feltwell, Minges, and Thong. Near where we are now, there's: Nob End, Menlove Gardens, Buttock, Dick Slack, and Bottom Flash. And finally, near where I grew up: Knob Hill, Balls Cross, Gay Street, Lickfold, Hooker's Farm, Titty Hill, Bushy Bottom, and Loose Bottom.

If there's any country out there with a greater density of idiot place names (in its own language) than the UK, I really want to go there and take childish photographs.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 12:45 AM on May 29, 2005 [1 favorite]


Not forgetting the non-titillating but curiously exciting Westward Ho!. The exclamation mark is part of the name.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 12:47 AM on May 29, 2005


Virginia is also home to Reddish Knob.

There's a small town near Canterbury, England called Rough Common. My friend John always claimed he wanted to meet a girl from there so he could say he was dating "a Rough Common girl". Also near Canterbury is Pluck's Gutter.

I have an FOAF whose official postal address was:

The Muffins
Rotten Row
Tutts Clump
Berks

"The Muffins" is the name of the house (I don't think they have a street number, that's not uncommon in the UK), Rotten Row is not only the name of the road they live on, it's also the name of the neighbouring village to which the road leads, Tutts Clump is the village they live in, and Berks is the abbreviation for Berkshire, and is also funny in and of itself, especially if you know the Cockney rhyming slang from which the word "berk" is derived (clue: the full phrase is "Berkeley hunt")
posted by kcds at 4:28 AM on May 29, 2005


Wetwang
posted by handee at 4:34 AM on May 29, 2005


LH: how do you steal song lyrics from people who didn't write them?

No, no, I meant I wondered if you had seen that very funny song in the earlier MeFi thread on this subject, as I did. No offense.

This is the kind of double post that's not technically a double (because of course you can link to a different funny name each time) and will keep occurring because people love to repeat "Blue Balls," "Intercourse," and all the good old favorites, and I guess a few new ones get added every once in a while, but it might be more economical for Matt to put up a sidebar "Put Your Funny Place Names Here" link.
posted by languagehat at 6:24 AM on May 29, 2005


Climax, MN

Climax is not all that far from Fertile, so the (likely apocryphal) story around here is that there was once a small town newspaper story about a car accident titled "Fertile Woman Dies in Climax".
posted by afiler at 6:42 AM on May 29, 2005


I enjoy towns that have changed their names to stupid things during big celebrity fads, specifically :

Truth or Consequences (New Mexico)
Joe, Montana

Ok, so I can't think of any others, but I do think it's pretty funny that it's been done.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:43 AM on May 29, 2005


My Canadian husband lived near Ragged Ass Rd. in Yellowknife, NWT. He brought a street sign down with him when he moved.
posted by chickygrrl at 7:19 AM on May 29, 2005


LH: You should hear the song, then. Go pirate a bunch of AW music, then come north and attend a concert. Well worth it!
posted by five fresh fish at 7:34 AM on May 29, 2005


Here's a funny one in Quebec: St-Louis du Ha! Ha!. Yes, the exclamation marks are part of the legal name.
posted by clevershark at 7:42 AM on May 29, 2005


What, no mention yet of Cumming, Georgia?
posted by Sully6 at 7:43 AM on May 29, 2005


One of my perennial faves: Succasunna, NJ.
posted by alumshubby at 7:54 AM on May 29, 2005


Traditionally Ho Ho Kus has been the best-known NJ town with the funny name.
posted by clevershark at 8:04 AM on May 29, 2005


Ticklenaked Pond.

There's a Bread Loaf, Vermont as well (I know, it's not perverted, but still weird).

Weener, Germany; Fort Dick, California; Bloody Dick, Montana...
posted by C17H19NO3 at 10:18 AM on May 29, 2005


My dad and a preacher drove a Demon through Hell.
posted by goatdog at 11:04 AM on May 29, 2005


goatdog, that's interesting ... i once walked with an angel through paradise
posted by pyramid termite at 1:13 PM on May 29, 2005


obvious: Ha! I was just thinking that. I used to go camping down there all the time. I have a photo of friends and I posing into front of one of the trailhead signs: "Wet stick of Buffalo Trail." I gotta find that photo.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:01 PM on May 29, 2005


What, nobody mentioned the notorious Gropecunt Lane yet?

(You gotta read on to the bit that starts 'Introduction')
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:36 PM on May 29, 2005


daninnj: "In Middletown, New Jersey there's a street named Gayboy Court."

Not only Gayboy, but Attaboy, Orphanboy, Handyboy, and whatever the others were. Evidently they were named after horses owned by the family that had a farm at that spot.

Small world, huh?
posted by deafmute at 4:47 PM on May 29, 2005


worst. thread. evar

Let's start a thread about internet insider slang; Te funnay, evar, evah, I'm Hippah 4 evah, etceterah, no spellin' chackah...
posted by longsleeves at 11:53 PM on May 29, 2005


hippah? ........................ anyway.

I love St-Louis-du-Ha!-Ha!. Only in Quebec.
posted by blacklite at 7:36 AM on May 31, 2005


I live in VA and work for a non-profit with a local government client base. My job title (although it has precious little to do with my actual job) is "member service representative". And Onancock is one of my members. Get it? I service the members. Nice, hu.
posted by rainbaby at 7:45 AM on May 31, 2005


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