someone thinks you're all rubbish

July 24, 2005 12:21 PM

Bloglash Blogger: Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity..." and so it goes. Might bruise a few egos, but it is a very funny bit of ranting - with a few home truths.
posted by rhymer (60 comments total)

The definition of podcasting is spot on.
posted by walkerbelm at 12:34 PM on July 24, 2005

And a lot of bullshit, as many bloggers don't "document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives". The other side of this strawman is the assumption that all bloggers aspire to be journalists.

Eventually people may get it through their thick skulls that "blogging" is essentially the use of a web publishing software that doesn't dictate content.
posted by Reverend Mykeru at 12:36 PM on July 24, 2005

Angry and stupid is a bad combination.
posted by euphorb at 12:37 PM on July 24, 2005

Maddox dislikes thing, news at 11.
posted by boo_radley at 12:47 PM on July 24, 2005

The guy finds it funny to piss people off with overexagerations of what are actually quite acurate observations.

I find it all quite amusing as well. If you get angry at what he is saying then you are kinda part of the joke as well...

I have never read a blog (to my knowledge) and am not sure I will ever feel the need to.

Would it make my life any better if i did? I don't care.

The thing is, if you like blogs of any kind then cool, ignore what he says and get on with your life, you don't need him to validate your opinions or otherwise.

Funny guy tho...
posted by Meccabilly at 12:47 PM on July 24, 2005

what could be more narcissistic than faulting someone for being into something you're not? people like maddox make life so frustrating.
posted by mcsweetie at 12:54 PM on July 24, 2005

maddox was here before any of us were, and will be here when all of us are gone, and his site will still look exactly the same.
posted by crunchywelch at 12:55 PM on July 24, 2005

The "blog" definition is basically what an immeasurable number of commentators have assumed and written over the past few years, ususally after being exposed to some teenager's Xanga and nothing further.

How cute it is for the author to mirror all those ignorant commentators who have come before him!
posted by VulcanMike at 1:01 PM on July 24, 2005

If I wanted to read another article in the middle of a sentence, I probably wouldn't be reading the article that brought me here to begin with.

I laughed my ass off when I clicked that link. To those of you getting pissed about this, lighten up and go get a sense of humor.
posted by Edible Energy at 1:02 PM on July 24, 2005

I've never seen his site before, but it is pretty funny if you like rants. What's really funny, though, is that his site looks to me to be nothing more than a blog. All he writes about is his opinions on everything, and, well...that's a blog.

The best irony is unintentional. And this is golden.
posted by LooseFilter at 1:08 PM on July 24, 2005

Hmmm...what was it he was saying about self importance?
posted by rhymer at 1:13 PM on July 24, 2005

Isn't this just- a blog?
posted by pointilist at 1:17 PM on July 24, 2005

The nice thing about blogs is you can choose to read the good ones.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:21 PM on July 24, 2005

I wonder how this guy would feel if he were aptly described as a 'metablogger.' after all he is blogging about bloggers.
posted by markovitch at 1:24 PM on July 24, 2005

It's only a blog in the sense that any site which is updated from time to time could be described as such: a series of essays is not what most people understand to be a blog. And as for this being ironic, well, c'mon... I mean it's hardly a beautiful and piquant and delicious piece of irony is it? More like the kind of irony you get on daytime TV.
posted by rhymer at 1:25 PM on July 24, 2005

Doesn't MetaFilter bill itself as a "community weblog"?

And yes, I'm shocked, SHOCKED... that there are some things Maddox doesn't like! Stop the presses!
posted by clevershark at 1:26 PM on July 24, 2005

It's an unspoken rule that every blog must use the same layout as every other blog: long, slender columns of annoyingly condensed text, thousands of links to other blogs, plugs for shitty political books, and more links to yet more blogs

So fucking true. So very fucking true.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:33 PM on July 24, 2005

I mean it's hardly a beautiful and piquant and delicious piece of irony is it? More like the kind of irony you get on daytime TV.

True, true--but that he is oblivious to it is the tasty part for me.
posted by LooseFilter at 1:41 PM on July 24, 2005

PS. I would like to have maddox's angry babies.
posted by Space Coyote at 1:48 PM on July 24, 2005

All sounds dead on to me.
posted by dong_resin at 2:02 PM on July 24, 2005

Uhm. So basically Livejournal?

Maddox doesn't deserve the attention he gets.
posted by Target Practice at 2:11 PM on July 24, 2005

Also, as a counterpoint: Just because you see a movie about wine doesn't mean you should stop ordering merlot with your $6 plate of pasta at Olive Garden you tools.
posted by boo_radley at 2:12 PM on July 24, 2005

Maddox is awesome, has always been awesome and will continue to be awesome, and all you precious, over-defensive little crybabies getting your panties in a twist are just making him more powerful.

Actually, one of the many interesting things about Maddox is this position of all-round unassailability he's created for himself: if you claim he's awesome, you're a sycophantic suck-up; if you claim he's unfunny, you're the tiresome one without the sense of humour; if he makes you angry, you're the most hapless, slackjawed kind of loser. Whatever you say in response to him, you're wrong. And that's why he's so brilliant.
posted by nylon at 2:26 PM on July 24, 2005

You got something brown on your nose, nylon.
posted by clevershark at 2:27 PM on July 24, 2005

maddox was here before any of us were, and will be here when all of us are gone, and his site will still look exactly the same.

Indeed. He predates Metafilter, blogs and most of the rest of the web by quite some time. I first found out about Maddox when someone forwarded me this gem. Sometimes he misses the mark, but more often than not, he is hilarious.
posted by nyterrant at 2:35 PM on July 24, 2005

Whatever you say in response to him, you're wrong. And that's why he's so brilliant.

that's not brilliant - it's just being contrary
posted by pyramid termite at 2:54 PM on July 24, 2005

Meh, he's still a blogger. Just because he doesn't use WordPress or Movable Type doesn't get him off the hook.

I thought that was hilarious though.
posted by danb at 3:04 PM on July 24, 2005

The guy has a point.
posted by i_cola at 3:04 PM on July 24, 2005

Hey, that Sideways rant has an Italian translation.

I love it.
posted by maggiemaggie at 3:07 PM on July 24, 2005

It's funny. Would have been funnier, say, four years ago.
posted by jscalzi at 3:20 PM on July 24, 2005

Oh, Maddox--no truer words have ever been spoken. Goddamn, I love that man.
posted by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on July 24, 2005

I think this guy is mad becasue he missed the first dot-com bubble, and can't figure out how to make money of the current buzz.


But, he has some points. I have to laugh when someone writes about how they "blogged" something; apparently no one "writes" anymore; too 20th century. I imagine these same people talking about how they "cellphone" people, as if the minor techincal details of a communication process add some magical quality.

He misses the point about podcasting (overhyped as it may be); the novel aspect is the notification and delivery.
posted by Ayn Marx at 3:34 PM on July 24, 2005

I second maddox's famous ratings of kid's artwork. Sublime.
posted by jikel_morten at 3:45 PM on July 24, 2005

He misses the point about podcasting (overhyped as it may be); the novel aspect is the notification and delivery.
posted by Ayn Marx at 6:34 PM EST on July 24 [!]

Exactly. Many think it's just mp3's on a website and don't acknowledge (or realize maybe) that the usefulness lies in automated program grabs. I'm not commenting on the quality of the pods though.
posted by jikel_morten at 3:50 PM on July 24, 2005

Eventually people may get it through their thick skulls that "blogging" is essentially the use of a web publishing software that doesn't dictate content.

Huh, what CMS systems dictate content? (What does that even mean?) Anyway, what pisses people off is that they do know that, but get irritated at all the people who think it's some revolution just because they came up with a name for it. What maddox has been doing for years could be considered a blog.


I think this guy is mad becasue he missed the first dot-com bubble, and can't figure out how to make money of the current buzz.

If he was trying to make money, don't you think he would put some ads on his very popular site? I don't think maddox missed the dot-com boom at all, in fact he probably complained about it.


He misses the point about podcasting (overhyped as it may be); the novel aspect is the notification and delivery.

What point, that people doing something that people have done for years isn't innovative just because they came up with a stupid name for it?
posted by delmoi at 4:00 PM on July 24, 2005

blog <> periodic satire essays.
posted by Tryptophan-5ht at 4:03 PM on July 24, 2005

maddox rocks my socks.
posted by mr.marx at 4:22 PM on July 24, 2005

I find blogs really boring.

Metafilter is better - an unruly mob beats a screed any day

Scoop sites - by their very nature - kick the shit out of blogs in the same manner as a mob of angry canids chases down and picks to a skeleton a graceful ungulate.

Drupal/CivicSpce could play that pack game, as well, with a modicum of obeisance to Mojo.
posted by troutfishing at 7:57 PM on July 24, 2005

Blah blah blah.
posted by troutfishing at 7:57 PM on July 24, 2005

blog <> periodic satire essays

why the hell not? isn't blogging pretty much anything that involves semi-regular updates of self-published material?
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:00 PM on July 24, 2005

well that was. unreadable.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 8:14 PM on July 24, 2005

Indeed, tedious. Part of the problem, not part of the solution (HCL)
posted by edgeways at 8:22 PM on July 24, 2005

Ohhhhh, maddox doesn't like bloggers. That's interesting since he runs a blog and it's hard for me to think of anything more distasteful on the web than bloggers complaining about blogs. And make no mistake about it, his site is a blog. The only difference between his site and 23 million others is that he seems inssitent on not installing a free piece of software that will make his life easier and might even make his pages readable in the process. I question the sanity of anyone who would willingly enter font tags into a text editor.

But it's a blog alright... frequently (well, okay, not really, but neither is Zeldman or Textism these days) updated, check... chronological order, check... over flowing with an unhealthy level of self-awareness, check... inflammatory gibberish to get other blogs to link to him, check. Yep, it's a blog.
posted by cedar at 8:23 PM on July 24, 2005

I quite enjoyed the Sideways rant, so I'll take back some of my snark earlier. Had the pleasure of spending time talking to a long time wine enthusiast this evening, and I was quited awed by the depth of knowledge he had.
posted by VulcanMike at 8:48 PM on July 24, 2005

I have to second his opinion on the URL issue.
posted by Hildegarde at 8:59 PM on July 24, 2005

And this is priceless.
posted by Hildegarde at 9:06 PM on July 24, 2005

I have never read a blog (to my knowledge) and am not sure I will ever feel the need to.

Have you seen that little white oval with the blue text in the very upper right hand corner of your screen, Meccabilly? You're soaking in it.
posted by ereshkigal45 at 9:14 PM on July 24, 2005

The fun side-effect of new technologies is always the new forms of snobbism that each of them seem to engender.

It's almost as though some people were waiting to find something new to be against, but especially to tell the rest of the world they're against it.
posted by clevershark at 10:45 PM on July 24, 2005

i think he's funny.

as for whether or not hes right or wrong, who cares, comedy isnt always about being correct, its about being funny.

and even though i agree with your notion cedar, that people who hardcode their blogs/websites/pages are somewhat troubled, part of maddox's appeal is his design, which is as crude as his personna. and if you ask me it wouldnt be nearly as effective or punkrock on a blogspot blog.

so im glad he's keeping it real, and the blogosphere (where, ironically, he gets the majority of his traffic) wouldnt be the same without him.
posted by tsarfan at 11:05 PM on July 24, 2005

his whole schtick is to troll in this manner, which can be funny in brief doses, but is generally tiresome. the key way you can tell he doesn't mean what he says is in his depth of knowledge on the subject. people who don't read blogs regularly can't give you a detailed critique of a warblogger.
posted by anildash at 1:28 AM on July 25, 2005

Does anyone else hate the word blog so much they feel their stomach acids gurgling up into their mouths and fetid gas filling their rectums every time they hear it?

Let's invent some more words to describe things that already has perfectly good words for them. How about "glaah" for car, or "yobbu" for urine? Usage: "If you use the word blog again, I'm going to yobbu all over your glaah's new paint job."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:20 AM on July 25, 2005

I don't know WTF everything has to be a blog. Look at Maddox's site. Do you really think it's a blog? I don't. For some reason, any site that's updated in a timely fashion (and, let's face it that's quite a lot of them) seems to have been co-opted into the "blogosphere" (itself an iredeemly wanky word). Does this make the BBC's site a blog? Of course not. It's a bit like someone inventing magazines and then deciding retrospectively that all books are just over-long magazines.
posted by rhymer at 4:16 AM on July 25, 2005

rhymer:

The problem with taking that wider, better view or what is or isn't a blog is that then a whole bunch of livejournal and moveable type sites can nolonger be classified as blogs, and then Maddox can't blast them :-)

And then I couldn't read Maddox blasting them.

And that would make me sad :-(

:-)

/I have never thought of, or called my blog a blog, but I imagine others would. My online journal is entirely functional - I write shit about my life on it as an excuse to not have to write or keep in touch with faraway friends I only ever see occaionally, such as my poor parents who deserve better than me. That's the cool thing about journals - in the excitement of new buzzwords, no-one has challenged the (pretty suspicious) concept that having a journal makes it's your friend's responsibility to find out what's up with you, instead of your responsibility to keep in touch and let them know.

Therefore, until that bluff is called, blogs rock :-)

FWIW, "online journal" is a mouthful, but describes exactly what it is. "Blog" is a buzzword that is meaningless to people until it has been explained to them.
posted by -harlequin- at 4:57 AM on July 25, 2005

"maddox was here before any of us were"

My garbage was online years before maddox's was :-)

"and his site will still look exactly the same."

I also didn't change the look of my garbage as I updated it over the years. I'm not sure this really counts as a "feature" though :-)

"and [he] will be here when all of us are gone"

Over my dead body.
posted by -harlequin- at 5:09 AM on July 25, 2005

I realize that I'm probably preaching to the choir here, but a blog is simply another communication tool and (like any communication tool) can be used for the trivial, trite and boring OR the compelling and important (and everything in between). Some blog entries will appeal to a specific audience and some to a wider audience.

My only decision is whether a blog is worth a regular look-see. I could care less whether someone else is using the tool to its full capability. He should worry as much about everyone's trivial telephone conversations, I guess.

In a sense, everyone's life is trivial. But that doesn't mean that you don't have friends and family that are interested in your particular trivialities. Big whoop if few will ever be an A-list blogger.

Anything that gets more people writing, thinking, and introspecting is a good thing, in my book.
posted by spock at 8:49 AM on July 25, 2005

Some good points spock, but I'm not entirely sure that Anything that gets more people writing, thinking, and introspecting is a good thing. Maybe I just hark back to older, stricter times when people who were inclined to be navel gazing twats had enough dignity to keep their mouths shut.
posted by rhymer at 9:31 AM on July 25, 2005

Sorry, I agree about writing and thinking: it's the introspection I worry about. A lot of that just seems to be looking for one's inner a*sehole.
posted by rhymer at 9:37 AM on July 25, 2005

FWIW, "[periodical publication]" is a mouthful, but describes exactly what it is. "[Magazine]" is a buzzword that is meaningless to people until it has been explained to them.
posted by Cassford at 11:06 AM on July 25, 2005

Whatever you say in response to him, you're wrong. And that's why he's so brilliant.

What about if I say, "Who is Maddox?"
posted by Mo Nickels at 11:24 AM on July 25, 2005

the key way you can tell he doesn't mean what he says is in his depth of knowledge on the subject. people who don't read blogs regularly can't give you a detailed critique of a warblogger.

Actually he has no idea what a warblogger is. They are not, as he suspects, 9/11 conspiracy theorists, though they did first appear after the attacks on 9/11. But your larger point still stands.
posted by euphorb at 11:52 AM on July 25, 2005