For the love of God - stay back!

October 18, 2005 9:27 AM

Sheer genius.
posted by Baby_Balrog (45 comments total)

huh
posted by rxrfrx at 9:30 AM on October 18, 2005

Faaaaaascinating...
posted by sharksandwich at 9:30 AM on October 18, 2005

Certain to lead to an increase in elder abuse.
posted by billysumday at 9:30 AM on October 18, 2005

Yeah...I especially appreciate the "older driver" bumper sticker.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:31 AM on October 18, 2005

F*****g brilliant.
Am I playing this game correctly?
posted by Wolfdog at 9:39 AM on October 18, 2005

I love having a little piece of mind ! ;)
posted by starscream at 9:39 AM on October 18, 2005

Do they have one for "Leadfooted Moron"? Or "My Ego is Driving This Car"?

Nine bucks for a single color magnet? Methinks there's a wee bit of profit margining there.

And it would be like painting a big target on you. Maybe I've just got some residual commute cynicism going but I'd imagine there are assholes on the road that would mess with you intentionally if you had a New Driver sticker on your bumper.
posted by fenriq at 9:42 AM on October 18, 2005

They should stick one of these on the White House.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:42 AM on October 18, 2005

I would love to have a cheap, easily portable stash of magnets that say "Fuck You, Pedestrian!" that I can quickly slap on cars as they run walk signs and plow into crosswalks. Or maybe a simple "I stop in crosswalks because my Mommy didn't hug me." or something.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:45 AM on October 18, 2005

Gosh, what a fabulous FPP.
Next they'll be making little signs saying "Baby on Board". Now that would be brilliant.
posted by 327.ca at 9:46 AM on October 18, 2005

While not in the realm of "genius", it's not a bad idea. Problem is, I've seen these since at least ten years ago so the earthshatteringness is sort of lost on me.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:50 AM on October 18, 2005

I guess we've forgotten about the "Baby on board" years.
posted by 2sheets at 9:54 AM on October 18, 2005

Huh
posted by Outlawyr at 9:54 AM on October 18, 2005

Kevin, but now they have magnets instead of adhesive so the mortified kid can remove the stupid thing the instant he's out of sight of his parents, that's innovation!
posted by fenriq at 9:57 AM on October 18, 2005

I'm going to get one. I figure, why not? Maybe people will stay the @$%& out of my way.
posted by ewkpates at 9:57 AM on October 18, 2005

It's been a rule in Japan for some time now. Not to mention it's easy to recognize without taking time to read anything, and it just looks nifty.
posted by Saydur at 9:58 AM on October 18, 2005

It's bad enough to be 16 and get the gears from Mom and Dad about how to drive - can you imagine picking up your friends in mom's rusty Caravan with one of those beauties on the back?
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:59 AM on October 18, 2005

"For the price of a duplicate set of keys, less than the cost of monthly cell phone charges, a meal at a fast food restaurant... "

What?
posted by prostyle at 10:01 AM on October 18, 2005

I would like to point out that Targetableness is probably not a very good ontology.
posted by nervousfritz at 10:02 AM on October 18, 2005

"Look what I got! Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car."
posted by bondcliff at 10:09 AM on October 18, 2005

In New Zealand (and some other countries) they make you put a big dorky "L" on your car to tell everyone that you're a potentially worthless driver, I mean, Learner. Someone please explain this properly.

I also had several locals tell me that they should have a T for tourists as well. Makes sense. I adapted to driving on the other side of the road pretty well, but some others just can't make sense out of roundabouts. Calculating Left and Right on the fly is just too much for many people.
posted by redteam at 10:13 AM on October 18, 2005

Since when did a meal at a fast food restaurant cost $9.00? At my local McDonald's I could buy 5 double cheeseburgers and 4 hot fudge sundaes for $9.00 + tax. In which case it would be more prudent to drive with a bumber sticker warning, "Beware, I'm about to die of a massive heart attack".
posted by wabashbdw at 10:14 AM on October 18, 2005

It always shocks me how poor the graphic design / layout of many bumper stickers are.

British Columbia has way more stylish "L" (learner) and "N" (novice) magnetic signs that are manditory for those drivers. And we get them for free. Yes, your car must wear one of these for the first two years of your driving career.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 10:16 AM on October 18, 2005

There is a method behind this. It comes down to helping people (idiots, some might say) sort out the difference between incompetence and malice.

It's the notion of people 'purposely' doing something annoying that seems to really enrage some of us.

If you figure the guy in front is 'purposely' driving slowly then maybe you hate him. If you figure he's just incompetent then maybe you can take it down a notch or two.
posted by scheptech at 10:19 AM on October 18, 2005

Back when I was learning to drive, the ICBC "L" stood for loser, "N" for nerd. The rebel kids put thier N sidewayz to make a icy hot Z.
posted by anthill at 10:24 AM on October 18, 2005

I don't care if you are old or a new driver, anyone driving 15-20mph below the speed limit in the left/fast lane will face the wrath of my horn!
posted by stifford at 10:30 AM on October 18, 2005

Oh yeah, I would have loved my Dad slapping this on his bumper as he gave me the keys to his car for a hot date the night I first got my driver's license. Nothing says "virile young man on board" like a "new driver" magnet...
posted by twsf at 10:33 AM on October 18, 2005

In the US (sadly), you might as well slap on a bumper sticker that says: "Please sue me if I hit you, because I'm a substandard driver and I admit it."

Side note: In amateur (SCCA) racing, novice drivers are required to display a large "X" next the car number. It's very handy to know that the guy in front of you is new to racing and may do stupid things, but as a marked novice, you feel like a complete n00B, which you are... Anyhow. when you complete two races, the X comes off, woohoo! (Also, racers don't sue.)
posted by LordSludge at 10:40 AM on October 18, 2005

The Japanese "new driver" magnet (must be placed on car for first year after driver's license is obtained) that Saydur linked is supposed to represent a new leaf, while the "elderly driver" magnet (purely voluntary) is supposed to represent an autumn leaf.
posted by Bugbread at 10:46 AM on October 18, 2005

In Canada we have aboriginal and imperial words on the license plates to warn you. "Saskatchewan" means "painfully slow". "Alberta" means "will turn unexpectedly by first swerving in the opposite direction", and so on.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:48 AM on October 18, 2005

weapons-grade, yeah we used to have those too when I was growing up in Vermont. A Quebec plate meant you could pretty well rely on them to drive in kph not mph (25 kph is NOT the same as 25 mph no matter how much you honk at them) and to suddenly stop in the middle of the road if there was a particularly pretty tree in mid-change.
posted by fenriq at 11:15 AM on October 18, 2005

Funny. I was going to post the same comment as bugbread. "Wakaba mark" (the new driver magnet) actually does work in a way that people do avoid them (or at least be nice to them). For some reason, I don't see it working in the states - somehow you americans are pretty mean to new drivers (myself included). Road rage.
posted by grafholic at 11:18 AM on October 18, 2005

Nothing says "Stay out of my way if you know what's good for you" like a Quebec license plate.
posted by rocket88 at 11:49 AM on October 18, 2005

Metafilter as advertising: Sheer genius.
posted by moonbiter at 12:07 PM on October 18, 2005

Shear Madness!!!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:15 PM on October 18, 2005

For some reason, I don't see it working in the states

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of watching a gentleman in an Explorer tailgate a driver's Ed car down a residential sidestreet. So no, I think in some cases a magnetic sticker won't be enough.
posted by maryh at 12:31 PM on October 18, 2005

The whole website looks like it was designed as a gag for Achewood.
posted by Peter H at 12:49 PM on October 18, 2005

Here's a thought... how about making one out of that soft plastic stuff that sticks to glass without adhesive... (you know, the stuff those little oil change tags are made of???)...

They could say maybe "nOO-B", and we could give them to people to STICK ON THE MIDDLE OF THEIR MONITORS when they want to make an FPP of marginal interest....
posted by HuronBob at 1:26 PM on October 18, 2005

I always wanted a plastic gun that shoots those arrows with suction-cup heads, and I'd put flags on the arrows that say "Asshole Who Doesn't Signal", "Jackrabbit Lane Changer", "Red Light Runner", or just some plain red flags. If someone has like five or six flags stuck to their car, avoid 'em.
posted by NorthernSky at 1:55 PM on October 18, 2005

posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:59 PM on October 18, 2005

Caution: Female Driver!
posted by mervin_shnegwood at 2:27 PM on October 18, 2005

In my experience, the L magnet served primarily to make drivers around you behave like idiots while they tried to ensure they wouldn't be stuck behind you. Nevermind that I would be going the same speed as the rest of the traffic, that wouldn't stop the person behind me from passing me just before a red light by going into the oncoming lane, or passing me on the right shoulder and immediately turning left. Both of these happened on my road test. Shit like this always seemed to happen when that L was there, and not so much with the N or nothing at all.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 3:06 PM on October 18, 2005

First problem I see is that alot of the drivers I know would treat this as the automotive equivalent of a "Kick Me" sign and harass the marked car.
posted by The Cardinal at 9:35 PM on October 18, 2005

So when I was visiting family in Sweden a few years ago, I was asking about the country of origin stickers that all the cars had, like a big "S" for Sweden or whatever. My aunt, completely straight-faced, explained that in Britain they start with "L" for "learning", and eventually graduate up to "GB" for "gettting better."
posted by Who_Am_I at 6:20 AM on October 19, 2005

I've heard complaints here, in BC, that the L and N stickers create hazardous situations because too many asswipes use them as a sign that the driver should be harassed.

It's a crying shame, 'cause I tend to find them very useful for understanding that I need to be patient and cautious around them.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:07 PM on October 19, 2005