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November 10, 2005 3:08 PM

Upside-Down Christmas Trees - Demand is growing. The media seems to have caught on to the trend...playing right into the hands of the sellers. Get yours today (if they haven't already sold out), for a mere $599.95. On one hand, it seems like a good space-saving idea. On the other, how much more commercial can Christmas get? "Target has three such upside-down trees on its website, touting their best attribute: 'Leaves more room on the floor for gifts!'"
posted by clgregor (67 comments total)

That's no christmas tree.
posted by iamck at 3:10 PM on November 10, 2005

Satan's wrinkly hand is in this, somehow.
posted by nevercalm at 3:11 PM on November 10, 2005

That is so ugly.
posted by arcticwoman at 3:12 PM on November 10, 2005

Those are some plug-ugly trees in that first link.
posted by kalimac at 3:16 PM on November 10, 2005

Where do put the star???
posted by goatfish at 3:16 PM on November 10, 2005

I don't think they're as wrong as the pre-lit purple Paradise trees, but it's close.
posted by dness2 at 3:16 PM on November 10, 2005

won't someone think of the baby jesus?
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 3:18 PM on November 10, 2005

I believe this is called the creative hand of capitalism.
posted by R. Mutt at 3:19 PM on November 10, 2005

Where do put the star???

If you buy one of these monstrosities, I believe the star is supposed to go up your ass.
posted by crunchland at 3:20 PM on November 10, 2005

The NPR story quoted a guy who says, "put the star on the bottom" (or is that the top? ...I mean the narrow end/usual spot). You might as well if the tree is hanging upside down. Another blogger says "Maybe that answers the obvious question of where you'd put the star: You don't."
posted by clgregor at 3:21 PM on November 10, 2005

What the fuck?

No. No no no no. No anti-Christmas tree. Fuck no.

Look, just buy a live pine tree in a pot, ok? Sure, it might look like Charlie Brown's pathetic little bush-tree for a few years, but look, you get to keep it year-round. Put it outside after New Years, water it, and enjoy your tree. Drag it back inside next Christmas. Living heirloom! When it gets too big to move inside, plant it outside and buy a new tree in a pot. Repeat as needed.

That upside down thing is just stupid. What the hell are you putting under that sad, retarded little tree anyway, a Hummer? Three Hummers? No, don't even talk to me. It'll only end in fisticuffs, you terrible fiend.
posted by loquacious at 3:25 PM on November 10, 2005

humbug/

Why, there's room under there to stack the entire family!

/humbug
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:26 PM on November 10, 2005

Great idea loquacious.
posted by clgregor at 3:26 PM on November 10, 2005

"On one hand, it seems like a good space-saving idea."

On the other hand, someone will just waste it all on the front page anyway.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:26 PM on November 10, 2005

This looks a lot like the bastard brother of Charlie Brown's tree. Only $250!
posted by mrgrimm at 3:27 PM on November 10, 2005

it was hard enough to go through a season without knocking the tree over already. now we've got to get one with a top heavy center of gravity?

no eggnog for you this year!
posted by 3.2.3 at 3:33 PM on November 10, 2005

You know it's just a matter of time before one of these falls off the ceiling and impales the youngster beneath it.

Hopefully on Xmas morn...
posted by InfidelZombie at 3:35 PM on November 10, 2005

Thanks, crash, I was wondering when someone would mention the wasted space.

I kind of like the idea of alternate trees for Christmas but I really can't think of a single reason why I would want to have my tree hanging upside down in my living room. No, wait, I do have one, it keeps the kids and cats from destroying your ornaments!

Sorry, not enough of a reason for me. If some don't get destroyed every year then you can't buy more every year to replace them. And I'm all over the BatCycle christmas ornament. Though the Darth Vader just screams yuletide greetings to me too!
posted by fenriq at 3:35 PM on November 10, 2005

Charlie Brown Pathetic Tree ... 24$
posted by R. Mutt at 3:40 PM on November 10, 2005

Wow, what crap.
crunchland made me laugh out loud, though, so I guess the thread is good for something.
posted by blacklite at 3:45 PM on November 10, 2005

This Target "cone tree" has to be *the* ultimate lazy man's tree.

Seriously, how does that resemble a tree in any way?
posted by clevershark at 3:46 PM on November 10, 2005

"Seriously, how does that resemble a tree in any way?"

It looks a lot like a dunce cap to me, which seems apt.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:50 PM on November 10, 2005

Maybe this portends the colonization of space? I mean, in space, there is no "up," so...
posted by ParisParamus at 3:53 PM on November 10, 2005

FWIW, I really want one. I'm decorating my house in a completely secular way this year (I'm an agnostic Jew, but really love Christmas decorations) and this would be an awesome addition. A bit too pricey, but man.... if anyone wants to buy one for me, I definitely would not fight it. :)
posted by youcancallmeal at 3:55 PM on November 10, 2005

Ahh.. modernity. Elapsed time from Natalie Jeremijenko's Modern Art to consumer commodity: 5 years.
posted by Triode at 4:00 PM on November 10, 2005

Cheaper to glue your furniture to the ceiling.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:00 PM on November 10, 2005

It just isn't whatever christmas is until you buy some dumbass crap you think you need.
posted by jaronson at 4:02 PM on November 10, 2005

Also on sale: upside down crucifixes and reverse spinning swastikas, each in your choice of oil rubbed bronze, coal or sticky tar finishes, only $6.66 each.

How could you buy that $hite with a straight face?
posted by tzelig at 4:05 PM on November 10, 2005

This disturbs me. It's like hanging the flag or a cross upside down. It feels anti-Christmas.
posted by jrossi4r at 4:07 PM on November 10, 2005

Or what what tzelig said.
posted by jrossi4r at 4:08 PM on November 10, 2005

Beware lest ye summon the anti-santa to your house this Christmas eve.
Antisanta is the meticulous enemy of Santa and the self appointed defender of the Natural Order according to Materialist and anti spiritual philosophy.

And there's Krampus too!
posted by Smedleyman at 4:10 PM on November 10, 2005

PICK YOUR REPLY

Now I want a CD full of backwards-playing Christmas music.
-OR-
This will go great next to my upside-down cross!
posted by jenovus at 4:11 PM on November 10, 2005

. . . Or what tzelig said.
*sigh*
posted by jenovus at 4:12 PM on November 10, 2005

I've always found cutting down a live tree, stuffing it in your living room and putting lights all over it hard to justify to my Jewish friends. How much sillier can this be?
posted by Smedleyman at 4:15 PM on November 10, 2005

Wasn't Jesus crucified on an upside down Christmas tree? Which is why those peace signs come from the antichrist. (An obscure Hal Lindsey-referencing joke)
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 4:23 PM on November 10, 2005

Man I feel even better about not celebrating ANY holiday. ::puffs cigar, counts Monopoly money mwhahahaha::
posted by evilelvis at 4:24 PM on November 10, 2005

On one hand, this would perfectly foil our cat from scampering under the tree and playing with the wires/messing with the ornaments.

On the other hand, this is a really, really stupid idea.
posted by kosher_jenny at 4:26 PM on November 10, 2005

Heh. This is actually very, very traditional. The first Christmas trees (in 12th-century Central Europe) were hung upside-down from the rafters. So this is really just a medieval throwback. Upside-down Christmas trees were common in Germany and Austria up to the 18th century, I think.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:29 PM on November 10, 2005

I might just be pulling this out of my ass, but I'm pretty sure the original Yuletide/Saturnalia pagan/heathen tradition of festively trimming an evergreen tree involved trimming a live evergreen tree in celebration of life even in the dead of deathly winter.

Which kind of makes the modern Victorian/Christian Christmas practice of cutting down a live evergreen tree, crucifying it in a tree stand and watching it slowly die over about a month make a whole different kind of sense.

I might just be imagining this, though. I need to get back to making a bastardized chicken spinich curry masala for dinner, maybe someone who knows more about this kind of thing with some certainty can confirm or deny this for my distracted and possibly erroneous ass.
posted by loquacious at 4:32 PM on November 10, 2005

Well, I'll be damned. Bring on the anti-santa.
posted by loquacious at 4:33 PM on November 10, 2005

kosher_jenny writes "On one hand, this would perfectly foil our cat from scampering under the tree and playing with the wires/messing with the ornaments."

I think it's rather comical that someone whose nick is kosher_jenny should put up a Christmas tree, but then I'm easily amused...
posted by clevershark at 4:36 PM on November 10, 2005

Yeah, what mr_roboto said. His link confirms my memory of learning sometime (elementary? jr. high?) that the original christmas trees were hung upside down until christmas day. One could consider it an act of taking Christmas back from it's modern day incarnation.
posted by jgee at 4:42 PM on November 10, 2005

No upside-down Chanukias, please!
posted by ParisParamus at 4:48 PM on November 10, 2005

Putting your chanukiah upside-down would be a celebration of the wax running out?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:58 PM on November 10, 2005

No upside-down Chanukias, please!

But they're on sale at Ikea right now!
posted by interrobang at 5:00 PM on November 10, 2005

Looking at those trees in the first link makes me really dizzy.
posted by Espy Gillespie at 5:04 PM on November 10, 2005

That is just plain ridiculous! After all, Christ was crucified on a right-side up Christmas tree. I think it was St. Peter who was crucified upside down. So I guess we should only use an upside down tree on St Peters' Day. Uh... when is that, and do we give presents???
posted by VTscapes at 5:07 PM on November 10, 2005

I liked the Colbert Report's take on this craze.
Put an upside-down tree in front of a right-side-up tree and you see who is responsible for the mayhem...
posted by nightchrome at 5:12 PM on November 10, 2005

Despite the fact that this is apparently an age-old custom, I can see why this trend is only doable with artificial trees. First, they can add a weighted bottom to stop the thing from pitching (unless you are given to tying your tree to the ceiling, which even is necessary for some big right-side up trees), and second, how are you going to water an upside-down live tree? After the first couple days, needles would be flying (I guess that could be amusing...)
posted by artifarce at 5:44 PM on November 10, 2005

kosher_jenny writes "On one hand, this would perfectly foil our cat from scampering under the tree and playing with the wires/messing with the ornaments."

I think it's rather comical that someone whose nick is kosher_jenny should put up a Christmas tree, but then I'm easily amused...

unfortunately(?), clevershark my nick is not religious in origin. I'm just an average agnostic who enjoys celebrating Christmas with her family for sentimentality/ tradition's sake. (I am also really materialistic)

I liked the Colbert Report's take on this craze.
Put an upside-down tree in front of a right-side-up tree and you see who is responsible for the mayhem...

*chocolate milk out the nose!*
posted by kosher_jenny at 5:57 PM on November 10, 2005

I will buy that Vader ornament. I will buy it now.
posted by Kloryne at 6:13 PM on November 10, 2005

Thank You for making me cry, clgregor.
posted by Catch at 6:46 PM on November 10, 2005

This is why capitalism is bad.
posted by graventy at 7:14 PM on November 10, 2005

Looks almost... vaginal.
posted by wakko at 7:32 PM on November 10, 2005

The Dorito! Although I prefer my trees sporting a Hitler.
posted by Cyrano at 7:38 PM on November 10, 2005

Yet another reason why I'll never be hip.
posted by tommasz at 8:11 PM on November 10, 2005

nevercalm writes "Satan's wrinkly hand is in this, somehow."

Come come, there's no evidence at all that Dick Cheney had anything to do with this.
posted by clevershark at 8:19 PM on November 10, 2005

All the roots of a chopped-down pine, sticking into the air, now that'd be cool. Might even be some kind of metaphorical statement.

Plus, we'd be using every part of the Christmas Tree, just like the Indians did.
posted by interrobang at 8:25 PM on November 10, 2005

Plus, we'd be using every part of the Christmas Tree, just like the Indians did.

You owe me a new keyboard.
posted by marxchivist at 8:28 PM on November 10, 2005

Seahenge - 4000 year old upside down christmas tree.
posted by Joeforking at 9:15 PM on November 10, 2005

it is quite bushy, isn't it wakko?

great. now I'm not gonna be able to look at one of these things without thinking it's some kind of giant, evergreen shrine to the mons veneris.
posted by whatnot at 9:37 PM on November 10, 2005

What in the hell're you talking about? I'm finally excited about what might be in the box under the tree!
posted by loquacious at 10:27 PM on November 10, 2005

If I have a kid one day, and he asks for an upside-down tree, I will send him to Iraq.
posted by bugmuncher at 10:36 PM on November 10, 2005

Ugh. I dislike those fake trees to begin with, because they don't in any way resemble real trees. Plus, the fake tree industry has made that stupid cone shape so ubiquitous that tree farms selling live trees all trim their trees to look like the fake ones, little green snow-cones. Needles on the outside and a whole lot of bare dead nothing in the middle. I grew up decorating our trees from the trunk out, and we only used pines we cut ourselves up in the mountains. No tree farm for us. My mom had this gift of finding the perfect ugly tree and making it pretty. The gaps between the branches are what do it; you can get a multilayered effect by haging ornaments all through the tree, rather than the tree farm idiocy of just laying them on the outside.

I still find it sad when I have to pack up the fake tree at the end of the season. I desperately want to live somewhere that will allow me to use a natural tree. Nicer looking, in my opinion. Plus, bonus firewood for January, and that piney-fresh smell when you vacuum up the needles.

Is it just me, or is anyone else convinced the market for upside-down trees coincides with the market for giant blow-up lawn Santas, 4th of July twinke lights, Easter trees, and Halloween ornaments? Stupid commercializaiton blending my holidays together...
posted by caution live frogs at 6:33 AM on November 11, 2005

Damn, those are some ugly ass trees!

I'd never heard of this upside down thing before. That's horrible.
posted by stinkycheese at 7:34 AM on November 11, 2005

"Upside-Down Christmas Tree" is such a clunky name though. Would "Bush de Noel" be more apt? Too French?
posted by Oddly at 8:00 AM on November 11, 2005

"This is why capitalism is bad.
posted by graventy at 7:14 PM PST "

*Frankenstein’s monster impression*
Ugh! Capitalism Bad! Uuuugggghh!
*goes on rampage*

Thank yew, that was the Communist Frankenstein. Thank yew, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waiters and waitresses. Try the veal.


Seriously, what WON'T people sell?
posted by Smedleyman at 10:33 AM on November 11, 2005