babysitter of the year

December 30, 2005 5:20 PM

How not to get children to go to sleep. In fact, when asked by police how many times he bit the children, he couldn't say for sure, adding that he "bit the s--t out of them,"
posted by 445supermag (38 comments total)

While you're there, check out the Bozeman Chronicle Police Blotter. Small town newspaper police blotters often provide material for late night comics, the Bozeman Paper give a lot of extra details above and beyond the norm, like this from today:
Officers confronted three juveniles on private land on East Kagy Boulevard. The boys said they were "extreme walking." Officers told them to stop extreme walking on private property.
posted by 445supermag at 5:23 PM on December 30, 2005

sad.
posted by moonbird at 5:26 PM on December 30, 2005

posted by interrobang at 5:27 PM on December 30, 2005

Thanks, I just added a dumbass tag.
posted by 445supermag at 5:29 PM on December 30, 2005

Man bites kid.
posted by fire&wings at 5:36 PM on December 30, 2005

This guy should be put in a dark room with rabid goats.
posted by selfnoise at 5:38 PM on December 30, 2005

Utterly depressing.
posted by erebora at 5:40 PM on December 30, 2005

I mean seriously. I work with kids that have been abused, often severely, by their parents. Sometimes the parents work very hard to recover and put themselves back together, others are remorseless, cold and carefree. I may be a sensitive lefty moonbat but I just have a hard time seeing even the slightest tongue-in-cheek attention being given to this kind of behavior, as the damage it does to children is real and very long term.
posted by moonbird at 5:53 PM on December 30, 2005

Of course, the above article doesn't relate to a parent doing this, but any abuse is pretty intolerable to me.
posted by moonbird at 5:55 PM on December 30, 2005

This guy doesn't sound like he's all that compos mentis, frankly ...
posted by kaemaril at 5:57 PM on December 30, 2005

Kind of off topic, but I can't pass up an opportunity to link to the BEST POLICE LOG EVAR!!111
posted by gamera at 6:03 PM on December 30, 2005

I may be a sensitive lefty moonbat

No need to drag politics into this; biting children is unacceptable whether you're a liberal, conservative, or libertarian for that matter.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:32 PM on December 30, 2005

Biting doesn't work.
posted by mr.marx at 6:33 PM on December 30, 2005

I remember telling my dad that the boogieman was trying to get me from the closet at 3 in the morning. He asked “Is he bigger than me?”
“No.”
“Then you’ve got a choice: deal with the boogieman or deal with me.”

...of course, he was joking. Even got me a glass of water. He didn’t bite the shit out of me. Which I suspect the boogieman might do.
There is psychological ground for this kind of behavior
posted by Smedleyman at 6:33 PM on December 30, 2005

Biting doesn't work.
posted by Gator at 6:34 PM on December 30, 2005

what a stupid asshole
posted by pyramid termite at 6:35 PM on December 30, 2005

Fark
posted by caddis at 6:37 PM on December 30, 2005

Gator/mr.marx, don't say that. You'll have guys like b_thinky turning up and demanding proof that "enhanced nipping" techniques don't work :)
posted by kaemaril at 6:43 PM on December 30, 2005

No need to drag politics into this; biting children is unacceptable whether you're a liberal, conservative, or libertarian for that matter.

Of course I agree about dragging politics into things: it's never acceptable. However about biting, when I was a child, I was tickled nearly to the point of asphyxiation. Most people I've known since then would agree that it's unfortunate that point wasn't reached. I was also subjected to head noogies, brainsuckers starving, and the worst of all humiliations, bronx cheers blown on my stomach.

Due to the scarring which resulted from all of that, I will always, always be against any and all such antics, unless of course it's child on child, in which case, you know exactly how terrible it can get.....
posted by nervousfritz at 6:59 PM on December 30, 2005

Is there empirical proof biting does not work as a child rearing technique?
There must be some hard data.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:29 PM on December 30, 2005

Is there empirical proof biting does not work as a child rearing technique?
There must be some hard data.

Well, if you think about it, what's the quantitative difference between spanking a child and biting them lightly? If he didn't break the skin it couldn't have been that hard, and it doesn't sound like he caused any permanent injury. People are mostly freaked out because it's so weird, and would be pretty terrifying to a child I imagine.

But if it causes the same damage and inflicts the same amount of pain, why is one OK while the other not?
posted by delmoi at 7:34 PM on December 30, 2005

Causing pain and inflicting damage, whether by spanking or biting, is really unlikely to make children sleepy.
posted by 445supermag at 7:52 PM on December 30, 2005

He could simply have given them a spot of brandy.
posted by voltairemodern at 8:00 PM on December 30, 2005

Yeah, but even if it's painful is it OK if it doesn't cause permanent damage and is less then the equivalent of major organ failure? .... oops, wrong thread. Sorry :)
posted by kaemaril at 8:02 PM on December 30, 2005

voltaire : sounds like contributing to the delinquency of a minor to me! :)
posted by kaemaril at 8:04 PM on December 30, 2005

In the good old days, you'd just give them a bit of Bayer's heroin syrup, and you'd both get a good night's sleep.
posted by kozad at 8:16 PM on December 30, 2005

My daddy bit me, and I can't wait to bite a kid of my own.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:17 PM on December 30, 2005

Yes, I believe biting a screaming kid is an excellent way to get them to be quiet and go to sleep. (urp) I suppose the babysitter should be commended for not beating the crap out of his charges and suffocating them with their Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals
posted by bat at 8:18 PM on December 30, 2005

Compulsive biting seems to be making the rounds: this recent thread induced a number of MeFi dental assailants to shed their muzzles, and my sister sent me this weird-ass Christmas holiday e-card.
posted by rob511 at 8:51 PM on December 30, 2005

Torture Biting doesn't work.
posted by Dunvegan at 9:54 PM on December 30, 2005

Biting should only be used to wake kids.
posted by maxsparber at 10:08 PM on December 30, 2005

i love biting kids . i bit the sh-t out of them all the time.
posted by nola at 10:28 PM on December 30, 2005

Horrible, yes. Best of the web? Hardly
posted by jouke at 10:35 PM on December 30, 2005

Back in the day, we had a solution for this sort of thing. Anyone who goes around biting kids must be a vampire, and vampires have to be killed with a stake through the heart. None of this holy water crap, garlic, running water, sunlight, crucifixes, all of it bunk. Good solid oak stake through the heart, never fails.
posted by Saydur at 1:50 AM on December 31, 2005

I remember telling my dad that the boogieman was trying to get me from the closet at 3 in the morning.

My dad said not to be scared of the boogieman in the closet. Why? "Oh, he's too afraid of the werewolf under your bed".
posted by hal9k at 4:55 AM on December 31, 2005

Well, if it's good enough for the goDs ... (Herman Müller ~1600)
posted by peacay at 5:46 AM on December 31, 2005

Biting does work. Ask any mother cat, she'll tell you.

Either the guy is nuts, or maybe a bit experimental, based on watching animals. I feel sorry for the perp, he sounds rather clueless, and I hate seeing simple people getting shredded by the criminal system. What was someone like this doing babysitting such little ones in the first place?
posted by Goofyy at 6:09 AM on December 31, 2005

No biting, unless of course you are going to eat the child. However, wouldn't it be more humane and tastier then to euthanize it painlessly and serve it with a nice sauce?
posted by caddis at 1:19 PM on December 31, 2005