Next thing you know someone will protest against foie gras.

December 31, 2005 5:11 AM

Hello, my name is Kentucky Friedcruelty.com.
posted by sour cream (57 comments total)

That's it- I'm changing my name to metafilter.com so I can advocate... um... something to the world. Well, after this kid is over this maybe he'll sell himself to Golden Palace.
posted by moonbird at 5:20 AM on December 31, 2005

+


posted by shmegegge at 5:26 AM on December 31, 2005

Terrorism. It's what's for dinner.
posted by phaedon at 5:33 AM on December 31, 2005

I've seen chickens. I've spoken to chickens. I've danced with chickens.

Trust me -- it's safe to consider them a vegetable.
posted by neek at 5:40 AM on December 31, 2005

Ah, another PETA stunt. If I was a vegan/veggie then i'd be quite embarrassed about having those dickheads on my side.
posted by seanyseansean at 6:05 AM on December 31, 2005

seanyseansean: I am.
posted by basicchannel at 6:31 AM on December 31, 2005

Funny. I'm not a veggie but I kinda like PETA. They're fun, in an in-yer-face sort of way.
posted by Decani at 6:38 AM on December 31, 2005

I've seen chickens. I've spoken to chickens. I've danced with chickens. Trust me -- it's safe to consider them a vegetable.

Hey! Watch that!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:56 AM on December 31, 2005

I just hope... Doesn't he... How could... I...
*brain asplode*
posted by slimepuppy at 6:57 AM on December 31, 2005

I sympathize with PETA's mission, but I really wonder if people such as the posted would just as soon be involved with some (other) cult such as the Moonies or Scientology.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:58 AM on December 31, 2005

Chickens can live without their heads.

I say they deserve to be eaten, and the kid will change his name back to Prince.
posted by Peach at 7:03 AM on December 31, 2005

Kentucky Fried Idiot.
posted by j.p. Hung at 7:05 AM on December 31, 2005

There's a big difference between objecting to industro-chicken, and being a vegetarian. Insisting on free range and/or kosher are good, if imprecise measures. It would be great to enlighten people to that, so I salute PETA, even if they're members may be, at times, insane.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:09 AM on December 31, 2005

The kid is an idiot... hopefully no woman will ever want her last name as ".com" and this type of stupid will be unable to procreate.

although the possibilities for children's names are fun....
posted by HuronBob at 7:10 AM on December 31, 2005

This is why no one respects PETA, why even people who agree distance themselves from the group. It's not because they're wrong. It's because they're lunatics.
posted by cribcage at 7:13 AM on December 31, 2005

OK. Find me a lawyer to fill out a deed poll.

Henceforth, I wish to be known as FriedFilet'o'SelfPromotionMcNuggets.com, because I'm a fingerlickin' good activist.

I want to raise attention to the plight of the poor amoeba. All over the world, amoebas are being treated really badly. They get gobbled up by fish and other aquatic creatures, and yet nobody gives a shit. Surely those fish would exist perfectly well on a diet of algae and seaweed, without having to mistreat the poor amoeba in this manner?

And people say that they are stupid, but nothing could be further than the truth. Humans actually have a great deal in common with amoeba. Forget about monkeys, humans are probably decended from the first amoeba that walked out of the water, somewhere near Africa. And clinical tests have shown the current president of the United States shares 90% of his genetic makeup with the amoeba.

If a guppy eats an amoeba inside the belly of a whale, can you hear it scream?

We can.

FriedFilet'o'SelfPromotionMcNuggets.com
on behalf of
Fingerlicking Ethicists Trying to Intervene Directly
(FETID)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:15 AM on December 31, 2005

I hope the state of Kentucky gets into this thing and sues this kid and PETA for sullying the name of their good state.
posted by davidmsc at 7:26 AM on December 31, 2005

Oh, come on. He's a kid, he's filled with optimism and enthusiasm for a cause, and he's doing something radical (but safe) to express his feelings. It doesn't make him crazy! I admire his dedication, and hope it continues to an extent that he doesn't regret his decision too much in the future...
posted by VulcanMike at 7:29 AM on December 31, 2005

He'd probably wouldn't get along well with the former Peter Eastman, Jr.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 7:36 AM on December 31, 2005

Odd, I was just talking about this guy last night with a friend. We walked by his apartment building in Norfolk and my friend mentioned how her brother [PETA employee] had to scan his ID, probably for that website. For what it's worth, I'm vegan and I find his actions to be rather silly.
posted by cloeburner at 7:40 AM on December 31, 2005

And I think PETA is a really good organization with many dedicated and right-thinking individuals. It's not a cult, it's not absurd to think that all species are equally deserving of life.

Just sayin'.
posted by cloeburner at 7:44 AM on December 31, 2005

I used to work the cheese counter in a gourmet food store in the metro-DC area. The day PETA protested against foie gras was the day we sold the most of it.

It wouldn't be surprising to me if this effect was pretty normal. PETA's actions get people to do things to spite them, rather than listen to their message. That's an ineffective group, IMHO.
posted by parilous at 7:55 AM on December 31, 2005

it's not absurd to think that all species are equally deserving of life.

As with most organizations that have deeply-held beliefs, it's not really PETA's beliefs that are a problem so much as their actions (see also: people who beat up gays, bomb abortion clinics, suicide bombers, etc.). As long as this kid isn't going to engage in PETA's destruction of property tactics, e.g., throwing paint on people and the like, he's okay (but a kook) in my book.
posted by Gator at 7:57 AM on December 31, 2005

Is there any way to flood that kid's actual mailbox with Spam Snail-mail? ; )
posted by stifford at 8:11 AM on December 31, 2005

Hello, my name is Kentucky Friedcruelty.com. Would you like fries with that?
posted by dodgygeezer at 8:22 AM on December 31, 2005

Read the main page - chickens are considered to be asintelligent as dogs chickens and primates. Easy joke alert- perhaps as intelligent as the primate that wrote such nonsense. Other than that I doubt many would subscribe to that, at least if they had ever met a chicken (no offence stavros, reckon you must be in the top ten percentile of the species).
posted by Gratishades at 8:27 AM on December 31, 2005

Um, david, have you actually been to Kentucky? We have no good name to sully.
posted by youarenothere at 8:33 AM on December 31, 2005

This is hilarious, the guy's name is Mr. Cruelty! That's cool, I bet he becomes a pimp. If not then he's wasted his cool name on a squeaky clean brain, I hope some hot PETA chick rocked his bones for his "committment to the cause" at the very least.

Oh yeah, and PETA is thar 'tarded. They'd be less offensive if they did more naked marketing and alot less shouting.

I love that the two celebrity endorsements they evoke are Pamela Anderson and Al Sharpton because you know if ol' Al's on your side than the lord all but gaurantees victory. Or shameless pandering whichever comes first. Oh wait, they've got the Dalai Llama too and Sir Paul McCartney? Damn, I may have to go veggie if they can just land Sir Elton John but only if he goes to every meeting dressed as a pork chop with an ax in it.
posted by fenriq at 8:42 AM on December 31, 2005

What do you want to bet he just did it to impress some Peta girl? I mean, he's 19, that's the only reason any guy ever does anything at that age.
posted by nyxxxx at 8:47 AM on December 31, 2005

Oh, come on. He's a kid, he's filled with optimism and enthusiasm for a cause, and he's doing something radical (but safe) to express his feelings. It doesn't make him crazy!

OK, then, how about stupid?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:51 AM on December 31, 2005

nyxxxx nailed it. (So to speak).
posted by Optamystic at 8:59 AM on December 31, 2005

Don’t be cruel to a (chicken) heart that’s true.
posted by furtive at 9:33 AM on December 31, 2005

Wasn't there some other idiot kid on the Letterman Show who had changed his name to "Bass Fishing in America" or something like that? The kids nowadays, what with their crazy name changing and all... I tells ya, hell in a handbasket... hell in a handbasket
posted by Debaser626 at 9:46 AM on December 31, 2005

Registered through: GoDaddy.com
Domain Name: KENTUCKYFRIEDCRUELTY.COM
Created on: 23-Oct-02
Expires on: 23-Oct-07
Last Updated on: 23-Oct-05

Better hope he pays the bills on time!
posted by Mach5 at 9:47 AM on December 31, 2005

Who, besides me, has a strong urge for some chicken. Regular, not that extra crispy crap...

I'll fly if you buy! (when was the last time you heard that one? A long dead brain cell came back to life to cough up that!)
posted by HuronBob at 10:02 AM on December 31, 2005

His middle name will be "AttentionWhore"?
posted by orthogonality at 10:43 AM on December 31, 2005

What do you want to bet he just did it to impress some Peta girl? I mean, he's 19, that's the only reason any guy ever does anything at that age.

I wasn't aware that that ever stopped being the reason.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 11:11 AM on December 31, 2005

If I ever meet this guy, I will make a point of asking him to come to dinner with me...

...at someplace classy like Taco Bell. Preferably one with a KFC also in it. :-)
posted by bugmuncher at 11:24 AM on December 31, 2005

attentionwhore.com was already taken.
posted by HTuttle at 11:28 AM on December 31, 2005

We should start PETP -- people for the ethical treatment of plants -- and go protest PETA meetings. "It's not absurd to think that all species are equally deserving of life."
posted by clevershark at 11:44 AM on December 31, 2005

It sucks that the people for the eating of tasty animals lost their domain name to these tools.

/goes to eat some tasty animals...
posted by Paris Hilton at 12:09 PM on December 31, 2005

On the other hand, won't at least some of you think differently next time you belly up to the counter at KFC?

What's so threatening about some kid telling you all to treat the animals you eat decently while they live? If nothing else, they taste better that way, and they're better for you. That's why religions have laws on the books stipulating how animals get killed -- and, guess what? Submerging them in scalding water while they're still alive isn't part of it.
posted by judlew at 1:26 PM on December 31, 2005

This is why no one respects PETA, why even people who agree distance themselves from the group. It's not because they're wrong. It's because they're lunatics.

Can you even name another "animal rights" organization? ELF? The KLF (JAMU)? Right. PETA is in the news, and that's more than half the battle. Kudos to them for that.

Curiously enough, I just saw an art exhibit featuring pictures from Halfway Oregon, er, Half.com.

The driver's license is hilarious. Excellent helmet hair.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:37 PM on December 31, 2005

I wonder if his friends call him Ken.
posted by yhbc at 1:50 PM on December 31, 2005

On the other hand, won't at least some of you think differently next time you belly up to the counter at KFC?

Nope. I don't base important decisons on what some dude changes his name to.
posted by Snyder at 1:57 PM on December 31, 2005

This is exactly the same problem I have with overtly straight-edge kids. Your beliefs and choices are a part of you; no one principle should cover all of your identity.
posted by es_de_bah at 2:43 PM on December 31, 2005

It's not that big a deal. Think of it as an embarrassing tattoo... on his driver's license.

I'm sure everyone'll call him Ken. It's no big deal.
posted by chicobangs at 3:32 PM on December 31, 2005

A few more observations:
The kid changes his frigging name and on the website they built around it, they don't even care to spell it correctly (note that the driver's license says KENTUCKY FRIEDCRUELTY.COM with a space between first name and last name that is omitted everywhere on the website).

I also wonder whether this might be a preemptive move on behalf of PETA in order to keep KFC from closing down the website on charges of trademark infringement or something like that (defense: "Hey, it's my legal name!")

And finally, I'm surprised that whatever authority is in charge of name changes accepted that dot as part of the name.
posted by sour cream at 3:34 PM on December 31, 2005

This is exactly the same problem I have with overtly straight-edge kids.

The only problem you have with them? Because, shit, I can find about two dozen.

Seriously, this post has made me hungry for a Zinger Works Burger. I'm going to have one by the end of the day.
posted by Jimbob at 3:37 PM on December 31, 2005

judlew: On the other hand, won't at least some of you think differently next time you belly up to the counter at KFC?

Because some dumb kid changed his name? No. Not that I'd eat there again, anyway . . . I like my food real.

judlew: What's so threatening about some kid telling you all to treat the animals you eat decently while they live?

Nothing. Except I'm more likely to listen to someone who doesn't go to absurd lengths to get my attention. That's the problem I have with many activists (particularly those on the left, because they embarrass the rest of us) who seem to think that what their cause needs is more people acting like they are 1) stupid, 2) insane or 3) both.
posted by Goblindegook at 3:51 PM on December 31, 2005

I wonder if his friends call him Ken.
posted by yhbc at 1:50 PM PST on December 31

Wins!
posted by zardoz at 5:32 PM on December 31, 2005

Why people take great care who they kiss and want to be intimate with but will eat any old chicken leg (that they don't even know!) has always been beyond me. Like what if it had some gross mole or something. Ick.
posted by 31d1 at 11:38 PM on December 31, 2005

Damn, it's 3am and I wish KFC was open now.
posted by b_thinky at 3:15 AM on January 1, 2006

This is why no one respects PETA, why even people who agree distance themselves from the group. It's not because they're wrong. It's because they're lunatics.

cribcage has it right. As a vegetarian, Buddhist, and CFO of a non-profit animal rescue organization, I cringe every time someone asks me if I'm a PETA member. No. Right in theory, wrong in practice. To whoever said they're on the right track because they are in the news- they're in the news for all the wrong reasons. They do little to promote animal rights, and a whole lot to paint themselves, and by association, all the rest of us out there working for animal rights, as lost-the-plot fruitcakes.

No one is going to hear about this kid and sit down and think about the state of KFC chicken farms, they're going to, at best, chuckle to themselves and shake their heads at what a complete asshat this 19 year old is.
posted by Meredith at 6:55 AM on January 1, 2006

cloeburner: It's not a cult, it's not absurd to think that all species are equally deserving of life.

Yes, it is. Is your life worth no more than that of a dust mite? Should we have funerals for paramecia? Is a starving fruit fly as deserving of help as a starving child? Should we make a memorial for the bacterial holocaust that occurs every time someone washes their hands?
posted by Mitrovarr at 12:33 PM on January 1, 2006

PETA is opposed to pet ownership.

There are thousands of sane animal rights organizations out there that do good work. They are the ones who will come and rescue and treat an injured animal at 3 in the morning. PETA won't. Donate your time and attention to the organizations that actually help. Not to extremist grandstanding hypocritical anti-choice lunatics.
posted by srboisvert at 12:50 PM on January 1, 2006

They do little to promote animal rights, and a whole lot to paint themselves, and by association, all the rest of us out there working for animal rights, as lost-the-plot fruitcakes.

There are thousands of sane animal rights organizations out there that do good work. They are the ones who will come and rescue and treat an injured animal at 3 in the morning.

So which other animal-rights organizations should I support? I don't care about much pet ownership, but I strongly support strict regulation/moderation of meat production and humane treatment of all animals, regardless of status (pet, food source, experiment, exhibit, etc.). I would also like to encourage production of affordable animal-free food and clothing.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:06 PM on January 6, 2006