Cheney/Hunter Update

February 14, 2006 12:50 PM

Cheney's "victim" has heart attack after birdshot moves to his heart. (washington post) previously discussed here.
posted by punkbitch (294 comments total)

There's something rotten in the state of Denmark.
posted by infini at 12:52 PM on February 14, 2006

I don't care if it was "accidental", Cheney still needs to be accountable for this idiocy.
posted by malaprohibita at 12:54 PM on February 14, 2006

Let's say his hunting buddy dies. Does Cheney have to step down out of respect for the office? It seems really weird to have a Vice President that killed someone in office, even if it was an accident.
posted by mathowie at 12:55 PM on February 14, 2006

its negligent homicide, not murder or treason.
posted by Fupped Duck at 12:56 PM on February 14, 2006

<too easy>Well his boss has killed far more folk</too easy>
posted by zeoslap at 12:57 PM on February 14, 2006

Let's say his hunting buddy dies. Does Cheney have to step down out of respect for the office?

I was actually curious about this. What are the legal ramifications for this in the US? If he dies, is it manslaughter? Or if not, some sort of criminal negligence/assault?
posted by generichuman at 12:58 PM on February 14, 2006

He was only "peppered" and got 3 days in the ICU and a heart attack. It's a good thing he wasn't a salted.

Thanks, I'll be here all week
posted by jefbla at 12:58 PM on February 14, 2006

Matt hit it on the head. I was going to post the very same query just now.

Does anyone know, or has anyone read a reliable source as to what the actual fallout on this is to be?
posted by bluedaniel at 12:59 PM on February 14, 2006

Aren't we all Cheney's victim, deep down?
posted by jpburns at 12:59 PM on February 14, 2006

Front page of foxnews.com:

Cheney Victim Has Heart Attack

Front page of cnn.com:

Cheney hunt victim has heart scare

Which one is the liberal media again?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:59 PM on February 14, 2006

Neither?
posted by Artw at 1:00 PM on February 14, 2006

thanks jefbla.. i'm addicted to bad puns :)
posted by infini at 1:00 PM on February 14, 2006

Its not like Dick doesn't already have blood on his hands!
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:00 PM on February 14, 2006

I don't know much about guns. But supposedly Whittington was shot at about 35 yards. Is the pattern of birdshot still so narrow that he would get hit in the face neck and chest? I bet he is hurt a lot worse than they are claiming. If he dies from a heart attack can Cheney be charged with anything?
posted by Mr_Zero at 1:01 PM on February 14, 2006

I know 4 US Presidents have been killed while in office, but how many have killed while in office? Any at all?

(Laura Bush doesn't count, obviously.)
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 1:01 PM on February 14, 2006

...his boss ....

Heh. Funny.
posted by Artw at 1:01 PM on February 14, 2006

Has anyone seen this man in video since this happened?

Would anyone be surprised if he died, or was already dead?
posted by jon_kill at 1:01 PM on February 14, 2006

Alexander Hamilton shot Raymond Burr......er I mean Aaron Burr while in office.
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:02 PM on February 14, 2006

Should Cheney step down: yes.
Will he?: No

Evidence: Valerie Plame
posted by punkbitch at 1:03 PM on February 14, 2006

He was only "peppered" and got 3 days in the ICU and a heart attack. It's a good thing he wasn't a salted.

He'd be convicted of aggravated buttery.
posted by jonmc at 1:03 PM on February 14, 2006

its negligent homicide, not murder or treason.

but from what i'm given to understand, this situation is aggravated by the fact that 1) cheney didn't have the proper hunting stamp; 2) he may have been drunk (that delay before speaking with the cops is awfully suspicious), and; 3) according to the prevailing opinion among real hunters, he wasn't following proper safe hunting procedures.

i would think that when you take all that into consideration, the honorable thing would be for cheney to step down (countdown to bush supporters accusing The Left(TM) of wanting whittington to die so that cheney and bush look bad in 5...4...3....)
posted by lord_wolf at 1:05 PM on February 14, 2006

Ouch.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:07 PM on February 14, 2006

Mr_Zero,
28 gauge shotguns have a very narrow pattern. 30" at 30 yards, I believe.
posted by bashos_frog at 1:07 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney was drunk, killed a man, and there's nothing you can do about it. Feel free to fax Orin Hatch, if you like.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 1:08 PM on February 14, 2006

I don't know. If Cheney spilled some water and a guy slipped on it and died at the White House...? This was, after all, an accident.
posted by punkbitch at 1:09 PM on February 14, 2006

Does anyone know how a 5mm piece of bird shot could migrate into or near the guy's heart? My only guess would be that he was hit in a vein or artery...otherwise if the bird shot is that close to the heart he must have been more than 'peppered'.
Oh and to answer the question of spread at 35 yards would depend on gauge and load. My guess would be that the sot would have spread to the equivalent of a 3 foot diameter circle.
posted by Gungho at 1:09 PM on February 14, 2006

I predict that there will be no political fallout, even if the guy dies. There have been far worse scandals, with no repercussions. The Jesse Helms is right. I hope I'm wrong, of course.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:10 PM on February 14, 2006

I wonder if this guy will do something about it.

posted by The Jesse Helms at 1:10 PM on February 14, 2006

lord_wolf, since when do any of Bush & Co. do the "honorable thing"?
posted by JeffK at 1:10 PM on February 14, 2006

Punkbitch, that has to be the most flagrant use of reductum ad absurdo I've ever seen.

"If Bush orders his soldiers to shoot and some Iraqis get in the way?" There, how does the other direction feel?
posted by jon_kill at 1:11 PM on February 14, 2006

I guess I just don't understand how something like that can be legally ruled "an accident." If I kill someone in a traffic accident, I would face some pretty serious punishment. Maybe not jail-time per say, but something, even if it were largely an accident.

(I'd also feel pretty crappy and probably never drive again.)
posted by generichuman at 1:12 PM on February 14, 2006

(countdown to bush supporters accusing The Left(TM) of wanting whittington to die so that cheney and bush look bad in 5...4...3....)

2...1...0: Not that I'm a Bush supporter, but the sad fact is that The Left, whatever they are, will benefit tremendously from Whittington's death, and we all know that whatever their ultimate good intentions, the kind of people who are so into battle politics as to identify as Left or Right will be sitting there with fingers crossed hoping for a messy, controversial end.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 1:12 PM on February 14, 2006

<humor type="black">
So, is this how they planned to get Condi in as the VP?
</humor>
posted by MikeKD at 1:12 PM on February 14, 2006

the political fallout should come from the whitehouse handling of the incident. The public's right to know (about anything) doesn't exist. But as for the accident itself... well... there's nothing there. Unless of course, he was drunk.
posted by punkbitch at 1:13 PM on February 14, 2006

I also think the NRA will be crippled as a political organization.

Oh come on, it was a hunting accident. Doesn't mean Cheney shouldn't be held accountable, but... It happens all the time, and there's virtually no one in this country that wants to legislate the type of weapon involved in the accident. I fail to see how the NRA will be harmed.
posted by chaz at 1:14 PM on February 14, 2006

28 gauge shotguns have a very narrow pattern. 30" at 30 yards, I believe.

Depends on the choke. I'm just amazed that birdshot had the penetrating power to lodge in his heart at that distance. The man must have bones of jello.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:15 PM on February 14, 2006

I know 4 US Presidents have been killed while in office, but how many have killed while in office? Any at all?

1968: "Hey hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?"

2006: "Hey hey, Dick Chey-ney, how many 78-year-old hunting partners did you kill today?"
posted by scratch at 1:16 PM on February 14, 2006

What if say, Al Franken was out in the woods drunk and shot the Dickman in the face, wonder then how much humor the whitehouse would see?
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:17 PM on February 14, 2006

why is there a second FPP for this?
posted by Miles Long at 1:17 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney. That is all.
posted by tweak at 1:18 PM on February 14, 2006

The bird shot almost certainly got into a blood vessel, and went to his heart. It's fairly small. (Apparently this is common -- a doctor over on Kos once had to amputate a kid's feet that had been shot by shot gun, as the shot migrated to them in a blood vessel and caused a clot).

This guy is 78 years old -- I'd say anything that puts him in the ICU is life-threatening. He's been there for days, now, and suffered a heart attack. I hope the old Republican stooge can pull through.

I know if I negligently shot a guy, I'd stay at the hospital. Cheney? He went back to the ranch and had dinner with the rest of the party. What a class act.

I also know I'd tell the honest truth about what happened, and accept the consequences. Not Cheney, he lies about it. Great bunch of motherfuckers we have in office right now.

(And for record: Cheney is undeniably involved in a cover up. They lied about what happened. It was probably a mistake, but they at first wanted this to not get reported, and then resigned themselves to lying about the accident once it came out. That's why Republican leaders are joking about it -- it's a strategy. The don't want you dwelling on this -- nothing to see here, folks, move along).
posted by teece at 1:19 PM on February 14, 2006

I hear George Bush kills at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:19 PM on February 14, 2006

"[Cheney] didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to do," Matalin said.

Hmmm.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:21 PM on February 14, 2006

The headlines also are noting the 'jokey' attitude taken by Asscrack McClellan, as if this is the appropriate way to defuse the situation and ingratiate yourself with the media. These guys are nearly autistic in their inability to read the tea leaves.
posted by docpops at 1:21 PM on February 14, 2006

Q: What do you call it when the Vice President shoots a Republican lawyer?
A: A good start.

When asked how he could shoot an 78 year old man instead of a quail, Cheney responded "Easy, just don't lead him as much"
posted by Crash at 1:22 PM on February 14, 2006

So McClellan knew about the "minor heart attack" before the press conference, didn't say anything about it and preceeded to make his own jokes about it?
posted by R. Mutt at 1:22 PM on February 14, 2006

Dick is a killer.
posted by washburn at 1:24 PM on February 14, 2006

hoverboards, i proudly think of and declare myself as being on the left, but i don't want a messy end. i want to see mr. whittington walk out of the hospital a whole, healthy man, able to spend time with his loved ones...and i want to see cheney get his punk ass nailed to the wall for the entirely inappropriate way he and his staff and supporters have been handling this situation from beginning to end.
posted by lord_wolf at 1:24 PM on February 14, 2006

Mary Matalin, a Cheney adviser, has said that Cheney "felt badly" about the incident, but she added that "he was not careless or incautious" and did not violate any hunting rules. "He didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to do," Matalin said.

When queried later, Cheney said, "It felt good. I'd do it again".
posted by docpops at 1:24 PM on February 14, 2006

Yer-Ol-Pal writes "Alexander Hamilton shot Raymond Burr......er I mean Aaron Burr while in office."

I think you've got that one backwards, pal.


Does anyone have any insight as to how hunting accidents are typically handled by Texas law enforcement? There must be the occasional prosecution for negligent homicide. What are the standards and investigative techniques that are typically used? How has this situation deviated from the norm? I'd be really interested in a commentary that addresses these questions, 'cause I have no knowledge about this stuff...
posted by mr_roboto at 1:25 PM on February 14, 2006

"Except for the occasional heart attack, I never felt better." --Dick Cheney
posted by Mijo Bijo at 1:25 PM on February 14, 2006

argh! of course you're right mr roboto! I may need to go have a little lie down.
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:26 PM on February 14, 2006

Hunter Sentenced To Road Work For Accidental Shooting. Via Reddit.
posted by jperkins at 1:28 PM on February 14, 2006

And for record: Cheney is undeniably involved in a cover up. They lied about what happened. It was probably a mistake, but they at first wanted this to not get reported, and then resigned themselves to lying about the accident once it came out.

Just out of curiosity, what's the lie? I understand (and agree) that the White House's handling of this has been poor (at best), but I hadn't heard about a lie. Is that supposition, or are there facts to back that up? I'm genuinely curious.
posted by pardonyou? at 1:28 PM on February 14, 2006

Blanchard said Whittington's coronary arteries are clear and that "he has the heart of a much, much younger individual."

Motive.

And I was in high school with an Aaron Burr, said he was a descendent of his, more likely he was full of shit, but you never can tell.
posted by Jawn at 1:29 PM on February 14, 2006

The answer is they lied about him being hit only in the face.

"I'm shocked, shocked, to find out that there's gambling going on in this cafe."

(waiter comes up with money and says: "Here are your winnings, sir.")

*stuffs money in pocket*

"Thank you. I'm ordering this cafe closed immediately."
posted by warbaby at 1:30 PM on February 14, 2006

It seems really weird to have a Vice President that killed someone in office

[bites lip]

[really really hard]
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:30 PM on February 14, 2006

He "didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to"?.. so, firing a weapon without looking at where it's pointed is an acceptable practice now?!
posted by clevershark at 1:31 PM on February 14, 2006

"And that's why I guarantee you this story isn't going away: It's a perfect way for the press to indict the entire Administration through the perfect metaphor."
posted by muckster at 1:31 PM on February 14, 2006

It seems really weird to have a Vice President that killed someone in office

[bites lip]

[really really hard]


The original poster undoubtedly meant to add, "and didn't make a profit off of it."
posted by jperkins at 1:31 PM on February 14, 2006

With the birdshot still inside his body, this guy's going to have trouble getting through the metal detectors at airports. When questioned by security, he'll have have to say something about "Cheney" and "a gun"...
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:31 PM on February 14, 2006

The White House used the Katrina Maneouver: wait 24 hours and it'll all blow over.
posted by slatternus at 1:32 PM on February 14, 2006

Honestly, given how these guys can seem to do anything to this country with impunity, I can't imagine anything happening of consequence happening to Cheney, regardless of what he says or does concerning this shooting.
posted by mert at 1:33 PM on February 14, 2006

Depends on the choke. I'm just amazed that birdshot had the penetrating power to lodge in his heart at that distance. The man must have bones of jello.

Oh, it doesn't. It didn't lodge in the guys heart; he would probably have died if that had happened. Instead, it entered a larger vein and travelled to the heart, most likely.
posted by Cycloptichorn at 1:33 PM on February 14, 2006

The White House used the Katrina Maneouver: wait 24 hours and it'll all blow over.

Unfortunately, once the blowing stops the flooding begins.
posted by Mijo Bijo at 1:34 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney Shoots Man, Administration Screws Us
posted by homunculus at 1:35 PM on February 14, 2006

Just out of curiosity, what's the lie?

The reports I've seen indicate that they originally told the police that Whittington was shot with a pellet gun, or hit with pellets, or something to that effect.

They mislead the police to make this seem less serious than it is.

Whittington is in mortal danger, and has been for 4 days now. This is deadly serious. That didn't faze the VP -- he needed dinner!
posted by teece at 1:37 PM on February 14, 2006

jperkins writes "The original poster undoubtedly meant to add, 'and didn't make a profit off of it.'"

I think, actually, the original poster probably meant "It seems really weird to have another Vice President that killed someone in office."
posted by mr_roboto at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

28 gauge shotguns have a very narrow pattern. 30" at 30 yards, I believe.

Depends on the choke. I'm just amazed that birdshot had the penetrating power to lodge in his heart at that distance. The man must have bones of jello.

Actually, the 28 guage shotgun has some fairly unique properties, and is considered somewhat of an "expert's guage."

Quoting from The Progressive Farmer's article on the 28 guage


"While the 28-gauge is not considered a good waterfowl, deer or wild-turkey shotgun, it does deliver small-game harvesting energy loads out to 35 yards. And it compares favorably with the 23/4-inch 20- and 12-gauges. For example, the 12-gauge energy load per pellet at 30 yards is 1.77 foot-pounds of energy, the 20-gauge is 1.58 foot-pounds and the 28-gauge is 1.47 foot-pounds. The 28-gauge is well within the necessary energy load to take small game at that range, and it's not too far under the 20- and 12-gauge shotguns."
posted by stenseng at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

(And for record: Cheney is undeniably involved in a cover up. They lied about what happened. It was probably a mistake, but they at first wanted this to not get reported, and then resigned themselves to lying about the accident once it came out.

teece, you know this, how?

This was an accident. Get over it.
posted by mad judge pickles at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

Goeb...I mean Karl isn't doing his job properly, why ?
posted by elpapacito at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

When asked how he could shoot an 78...

I've probably heard a hundred jokes about this since Sunday...that one wins, Crash.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:39 PM on February 14, 2006

I actually watched the press conference on this from the hospital, and calling it a heart attack is overblown. According to the doctors, he was totally asymptomatic. They were giving him a check up and found a slight irregularity in his heartbeat, which they theorized to be because of a minor drop in blood flow to an area of his heart earlier in the day.

Saying it was a "heart attack," while maybe technically correct, conjures up images of a chest-clutching, shortness of breath kind of heart attack, when in fact, nobody noticed it at the time because it didn't even cause him any pain. They didn't piece together its occurrence until several hours later.
posted by TunnelArmr at 1:40 PM on February 14, 2006

Should Cheney step down: yes.
Will he?: No
Evidence: Valerie Plame

Speaking of Plame, I wish the press would spend a little less time on the hunting accident and a little more time looking into Plame's work on Iran's weapons programs.
posted by homunculus at 1:41 PM on February 14, 2006

teece, you know this, how?

I have this rare gift, called reading comprehension. I read and understand the English language. Don't be an idiot.

It was an accident (hey, wait, you know this, how?). It is also an accident that has been actively covered up with lies.
posted by teece at 1:41 PM on February 14, 2006

teece writes "The reports I've seen indicate that they originally told the police that Whittington was shot with a pellet gun, or hit with pellets, or something to that effect."

He was "hit with pellets". Shotguns fire sprays of small, spherical pellets. Typically, when these pellets are referred to collectively, they're called "shot". Referring to them as pellets, however, is perfectly acceptible. In fact, if you're referring to one in the singular, it's probably more proper to refer to it as a pellet than as a "piece of shot" or similar.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:44 PM on February 14, 2006

"Cheney's Got a Gun" is my favorite yet...
posted by punkbitch at 1:46 PM on February 14, 2006

If you look at this from a rational, technical level this makes no sense whatsoever. If you look at this from the perspective of an overpriveledged drunk (on whiskey, on power - does it matter?) white male living the American Dream (stomping on the throat of an indigenous person - or in their absense a defenseless animal - spilling their blood with the draw of your blade), it all makes perfect sense. For those of you demanding culpability, why do you hate the American Spirit? These admin boys didn't dodge their service so they could live in a world swamped with limp-wristed liberal claptrap!
posted by prostyle at 1:47 PM on February 14, 2006

fifth down.
posted by duende at 1:48 PM on February 14, 2006

I guess I just don't understand how something like that can be legally ruled "an accident."

In 1988 a man named Donald Rogerson shot and killed a woman named Karen Wood while he was hunting. What seems to have happened is that Wood was standing in her back yard, hanging laundry on the clothesline, and was wearing white mittens. Rogerson somehow mistook the flashes of white from her mittens for the white flashes of the tail of a deer, fired at her, and killed her.

Rogerson was first charged with manslaughter, but the grand jury refused to indict. A second grand jury did lead to a second grand jury, and an indictment, but at Rogerson was declared 'not guilty' at trial.

The case is something of a cause celebre in Maine, even to this day. Here's an article from the October 2005 issue of Portland Magazine that reviews the history of the case.
posted by anastasiav at 1:49 PM on February 14, 2006

"Shotguns. What, like guns that fire shot?"

"Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shot."
posted by wakko at 1:52 PM on February 14, 2006

This just in: Dan Quayle has just now come out of hiding, after being repeatedly reassured that current Vice President Dick Cheney is not hunting him. Quayle was finally convinced after his wife approached him with several articles where "quail" was spelled without the "e", and calls were made to several national newspapers to make sure they were not typos.
When questioned about the ordeal, ex-Vice President Quayle simply remarked "Phwew".
posted by hellbient at 1:54 PM on February 14, 2006

The Onion's take on this.
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:56 PM on February 14, 2006

Recent similar cases:
Man who said he mistook another hunter for a deer and shot him to death has been charged with involuntary manslaughter.

The hunting accident tore at the fabric of two families in the town. Douglas Jones was charged ... against the wishes of the Holverson family, with criminally negligent homicide after mistaking his long-time friend for an elk.

That said, hunting accidents happen all the time and rarely result in criminal charges.

It will be more interesting, legally, if Whittington succumbs to his injuries.
posted by dhartung at 1:56 PM on February 14, 2006

I guess I just don't understand how something like that can be legally ruled "an accident."

Probably because it is, and happens with some regularity in hunting. There were 44 firearm hunting accidents in Texas in 2003 and 29 in 2004. (source).
posted by pardonyou? at 2:01 PM on February 14, 2006

Last nights daily show would be a lot less funny if this guy dies. Lets hope he gets better.
posted by delmoi at 2:07 PM on February 14, 2006

posted by Superfrankenstein at 2:07 PM on February 14, 2006

It seems really weird to have a Vice President that killed someone in office, even if it was an accident.

It's kind of weird to have a First Lady who killed somebody in an accident. It's kind of weird to have a (recovering) alcoholic as President. It's kind of weird to have a President who's been arrested for drunk driving. It's more than kind of weird to have my country at war because of faked documentation.

This looks like a genuine accident, where Cheney was appallingly incompetent, but probably not criminally negligent, unless evidence shows that he was drinking. The lawyer has good grounds for a civil suit. I hope the media gets off their collective asses and investigates. The White House is acting like they have something to hide.
posted by theora55 at 2:09 PM on February 14, 2006

The number of other pieces of birdshot in Whittington's body is not known, he said, but could range anywhere from "more than five" to "less than 150 to 200."

What a coincidence, that's exactly what pre-war intelligence said about the number of WMDs in Iraq!
posted by idontlikewords at 2:12 PM on February 14, 2006

Add me to the list of people who hope Whittington pulls through. I hate the administration, but my ideal sitation is not Whittington dying. It's Whittington waking up, realizing Cheney damn near killed him, and telling the press exactly what happened and how negligent Dick was.
posted by Crash at 2:13 PM on February 14, 2006

I hope it doesn't become time for Dick Cheney to start singing some Johnny Cash karaoke: "I shot a man in Reno..."
posted by twsf at 2:16 PM on February 14, 2006

When asked how he could shoot an 78 year old man instead of a quail, Cheney responded "Easy, you just don't lead 'em as much"

I'm hearing people suggest that Cheney was drunk, and that's the reason why this was buried for 18 hours. I don't understand what the rational is there. The cops would have come out that night. So delaying the story wouldn't have give him a chance to sober up or something.

My own theory is that they just didn't realize it was a big deal. Like maybe the same sort of thinking which would come up with, "We'll be welcomed as liberators", or "the insurgency is in it's last throes". And there is every reason to believe he told Libby that outing a CIA officer as a vendetta was a good idea.

Cheney's estimation of how things are, and how they actually are in reality, are wildly divergent. We don't need a "drunken hunter" conspiracy theory to explain something that is easily covered by the VP being oblivious to how the world works.
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:16 PM on February 14, 2006

a First Lady who killed somebody in an accident

Not just a somebody, but an ex-boyfriend (IIRC). And there's at least a couple of stories circulating on the net, speculating that it was not an accident. (Not that I believe them -
I'm jes sayin', y'know?)
posted by bashos_frog at 2:16 PM on February 14, 2006

"quail" was spelled without the "e"

I'm sure Dan Quayle was confused, as evidenced by his history of poor spelling (and adding e's to words). P-O-T-A-T-O-E.
posted by ericb at 2:17 PM on February 14, 2006

He was "hit with pellets". Shotguns fire sprays of small, spherical pellets. Typically, when these pellets are referred to collectively, they're called "shot". Referring to them as pellets, however, is perfectly acceptible. In fact, if you're referring to one in the singular, it's probably more proper to refer to it as a pellet than as a "piece of shot" or similar.

I know exactly what a shotgun shoots. That wording is still disingenuous.

The wording was meant to imply that Whittington had been "peppered," meaning Cheney shot up, and hot shot fell down onto Whittington.

That's not what happened. You don't "hit a quail with pellets," you shoot it. And that's exactly what Cheney did to Whittington: he shot him.

They intentionally used a different phrase to try and mislead the police.
posted by teece at 2:17 PM on February 14, 2006

Rapidly getting less funnier the closer the poor guy comes to death. The admin treating this as ha-ha may backfire.

"...after mistaking his long-time friend for an elk."

Hell, yeah. There are elk that wander through the big campground in Jasper National Park, so I've had opportunity to be up close to those beasts. It's all the time I mistake an animal bigger than a cow as being my best friend.

It must be the beige fur.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:17 PM on February 14, 2006

Depends on the choke. I'm just amazed that birdshot had the penetrating power to lodge in his heart at that distance. The man must have bones of jello.

Well, he was 78.

Dick is a killer

Dick Is A Killer.
posted by delmoi at 2:18 PM on February 14, 2006

I'm hearing people suggest that Cheney was drunk, and that's the reason why this was buried for 18 hours.

Was Cheney Drunk?
posted by ericb at 2:18 PM on February 14, 2006

The cops would have come out that night.

The cops did come out that night, but were not allowed to question Cheney until Monday (Sunday?) morning, I believe. Time enought to sober up?
posted by bashos_frog at 2:18 PM on February 14, 2006

Sorry.... Didn't mean to have that joke in there.....
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:18 PM on February 14, 2006

What I really don't fucking understand is under what authority are the police told to "not question Cheney."
posted by The Jesse Helms at 2:21 PM on February 14, 2006

If you want to get in good graces with the Republican elite, you've got to be prepared to take the occasional shot in the face or chest.

Hell, even Jeff Gannon knows that!
posted by insomnia_lj at 2:21 PM on February 14, 2006

I still think the nature of the way those birds were kept captive and released right in front of them is sickening. Shooting a man or not, someone who gets a thrill out of the whole activity is not fit to send kids to die in a war.
posted by Space Coyote at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2006

There were 44 firearm hunting accidents in Texas in 2003 and 29 in 2004. (source).

I too thought that was a meaningful stat -- until it was pointed out that you don't have to report non-fatal hunting accidents.
posted by smackfu at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2006

sprayed?


peppered?


or, maybe he was shot:


2 pics via
posted by bashos_frog at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2006

If you want to get in good graces with the Republican elite, you've got to be prepared to take the occasional shot in the face or chest.

Just ask Monica.
posted by NationalKato at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2006

There have been undoubtedly many many people killed by Presidents and Vice Presidents that had served in the military.

Does this mean that we can now stop calling Dick a chicken hawk?
posted by Pollomacho at 2:25 PM on February 14, 2006

Arianna Huffington: Happy Valentine's Day, Dick: Why the Press is Acting Like a Jilted Lover
posted by muckster at 2:26 PM on February 14, 2006

Let's say his hunting buddy dies. Does Cheney have to step down out of respect for the office?

out of respect for the office? that is funny. quite funny indeed.

Cheney doesn't have to do anything. The cops were not allowed to question him. The law flat-out does not apply to him.

It'll be a lot harder to get out of, however, if the poor fucker dies. But maybe... it's worse for Cheney if the guy lives to tell the tale.
posted by Miles Long at 2:26 PM on February 14, 2006

The cops did come out that night, but were not allowed to question Cheney until Monday (Sunday?) morning, I believe. Time enought to sober up?

"The Secret Service reported the shooting to the Kenedy County Sheriff's Office; no one from that agency interviewed Cheney until Sunday morning.

The Secret Service said it had turned away one sheriff's deputy at the ranch the night of the accident because arrangements had been made for Cheney to be interviewed the following morning, Associated Press said." [L.A. Times | February 14, 2006]
posted by ericb at 2:26 PM on February 14, 2006

The Jesse Helms writes "What I really don't fucking understand is under what authority are the police told to 'not question Cheney.'"

The same authority under which all of us are told that.
posted by brundlefly at 2:27 PM on February 14, 2006

What I really don't fucking understand is under what authority are the police told to "not question Cheney."

Probably under no authority, or no legal one anyway (I understand it was probably an SS decision, but don't know the legality of their ability to make it)...Does it make you any less surprised that it happened, and that regardless of what happens to this geezer (Whittington) it will continue to happen?
posted by rollbiz at 2:28 PM on February 14, 2006

In your FPP, the word "victim" should not have had quotes around it. However the phrase "heart attack" should have had them.
posted by spock at 2:31 PM on February 14, 2006

Almost all of us hunters have been peppered with shot at one time or another. Mostly it's inconsequential and the wind plays a big part. But I will say this: lots of us have quit a hunt when we realize that the next guy is an idiot. And this, too: knowing what I think I know about Cheney, there is no one in North America who I'd rather hunt with.

--

The GOP machine is amazing. Even when someone is shot in the face: stick to the script, stick the script.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 2:55 PM on February 14, 2006

The White House says that Cheney called Whittington and asked if he needed anything. Flowers, magazine, tweezers?
posted by spock at 3:01 PM on February 14, 2006

An ambassadorship to Scotland?
posted by R. Mutt at 3:05 PM on February 14, 2006

I'm hearing people suggest that Cheney was drunk, and that's the reason why this was buried for 18 hours. I don't understand what the rational is there. The cops would have come out that night.

Sheriff's department didn't investigate Cheney incident until next day. (id/pass caller/caller)

Kathrine Armstrong apparently 'forgot' to tell the local cops on the actual day of the shooting. All immediate events were therefore handled by the secret service agents in attendance.

quote. "The sheriff came the next morning and took a statement." Armstrong said. "It did not even occur to me. It was not like somebody had robbed a filling station. It was not like a criminal thing."
posted by rodney stewart at 3:10 PM on February 14, 2006

What if it was the other way around. What if it was Cheney that was accidentally shot. Oh boy. That would change things entirely.
posted by Po0py at 3:13 PM on February 14, 2006

Almost all of us hunters have been peppered

Amazing indeed, The Jesse Helms.

Whittington was not "peppered." That happens when you shoot at a bird in the air, and the shot (probably hot) falls back on you, perhaps with the aid of the wind. Such a thing can be unpleasant; it will not often even break skin, and it's pretty much never life-threatening.

That "peppering," of course, has absolutely NOTHING to do with what happened to Whittington.

Cheney. Shot. Him. The shot did not fall onto him -- the gunpowder actively propelled that shot into Whittington's body. That same force is what will kill the quail.

There is a whole world of difference between the two. The Republican Noise Machine really can create an alternate reality for idiots like the folks at Powerline to live in.
posted by teece at 3:14 PM on February 14, 2006

What about the medics involved? I don't know about Texas, but don't most states have a law stating that any medical professional treating a victim of a gunshot wound must report it to the local authorities immediately?
posted by Crash at 3:20 PM on February 14, 2006

(I am not a Texas prosecutor)

Texas Penal Code § 19.05. CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT HOMICIDE. (a) A person commits an offense if he causes the death of an individual by criminal negligence.
(b) An offense under this section is a state jail felony.

Texas Penal Code § 12.35. STATE JAIL FELONY PUNISHMENT. [. . .] (c) An individual adjudged guilty of a state jail felony shall be punished for a third degree felony if it is shown on the trial of the offense that:
(1) a deadly weapon as defined by Section 1.07 was used or exhibited during the commission of the offense or during immediate flight following the commission of the offense, and that the individual used or exhibited the deadly weapon or was a party to the offense and knew that a deadly weapon would be used or exhibited . . .

Texas Penal Code § 12.34. THIRD DEGREE FELONY PUNISHMENT. (a) An individual adjudged guilty of a felony of the third degree shall be punished by imprisonment in the institutional division for any term of not more than 10 years or less than 2 years. . . .

So: Dead victim + evidence of drunkenness + jury verdict = 2 years in the pen. Lots of ifs, but it's fun to think about.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 3:21 PM on February 14, 2006

You know this situation makes me miss Dan Quayle, kinda like the way Cheney miss quail.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 3:25 PM on February 14, 2006

Buried. For 18 hours.
posted by esquire at 3:30 PM on February 14, 2006

...In this fascinating video, Corpus Christi Caller-Times photographer George Gongora recreates the accident -- by shooting a human-sized target from 90 feet with a 29-gauge shotgun.

...Dave Michaels and Todd J. Gillman write in the Dallas Morning News: "Sally (Whittington) May said her father does not recall a lot of the incident, nor was he involved in how or whether information about the incident was released: 'He didn't know at the time if he was going to the hospital or the mortuary.' "

...Mike Leggett , the outdoors writer for the Austin American-Statesman, writes: "You shot a guy. At least stay in town until he's out of the hospital.

"You shot a guy. Don't blame the sun or the wind or the rotation of the Earth. And for goodness' sake, don't blame Harry Whittington.

"He's the guy you shot, and unless he pulled the trigger himself, it wasn't his fault. Unless he was invisible, it wasn't his fault. And it wasn't his fault that he didn't 'announce his presence,' either. He was supposedly 30 yards behind you. His only fault was being a human being standing on two legs. . . .

"Stand up. Take responsibility. Be a man. You shot a guy."

Cheney's Got A Gun
posted by y2karl at 3:33 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney kills fuckload of Iraqis -- 20 comments.

Cheney hurts rich white Texas hunting buddy -- 120+ comments

Liberal website my ass
posted by matteo at 3:43 PM on February 14, 2006

Leggett, via y2karl's link, is spot-on. Aren't Republicans always winning the meme battle with Dems as to which party is more manly and virile? What could be a bigger rat-fink thing to do than shoot your friend in the face accidentally, and then skip town? Dude, it's not like the VP won't have access to phones and a full staff (which was another point of early White House spin, to the effect of "Oh, he didn't have his press secretary that's why we let a private citizen with no media experience set up the news operation.")

What utter bullshit. What a fucking shameful thing for my country to be represented by a moral cretin like this. Another empty shirt too cowardly to serve in the military who gets out of a car to kill some farm-raised birds that were raised for the sole purpose of being slaughtered by big Dick. Too bad he and his collegeagues in the WH don't have any balls whatsoever.
posted by bardic at 3:45 PM on February 14, 2006

In a Republican future everyone will expect -- nay, demand! -- that major political candidates have shot at least one person in the face prior to taking office.
posted by clevershark at 3:46 PM on February 14, 2006

Any truth to the rumor that Chaney lacked the proper licensing to hunt the most dangerous game... Man?
posted by cosmonaught at 3:50 PM on February 14, 2006

When I think of the delay in reporting the gunshot accident to the nation, it brings to mind Ted Kennedy's delay in reporting the car accident at Chappaquiddick.

I wonder if there is a principle here that could be applied to both cases?
posted by darkstar at 4:02 PM on February 14, 2006

hey, I think Dick Cheney just shot this thread in the face. hehehe. Hey, what did Dick Cheney give that guy he shot in the face for Valentine's Day? A heart attack! hehe. Hey - what do Harry Whittington and Jenna Jameson have in common? They both have got shot in the face by dicks! hehehe. Okay, what's the difference between Harry Whittington and The Elephant Man? One got shot in the face, the other can't keep his face in the shot! hehehe.
Okay, now go fuck yourselves! heheh.
posted by racist dunk-tank clown at 4:04 PM on February 14, 2006

The GOP machine is amazing.

I just watched a former Cheney aide (and now Republican "strategist") state on MSNBC's "Hard Ball" that Saturday's hunting accident is a private matter and that he finds it ridiculous that the press and public are making so much of the the incident. Huh?

Also, on NBC's Nightly News they touched on the fact that some are trying to blame the shooting victim (ah, ye olde blame game from Karl Rove's playbook) for the accident (by not announcing his return to the shooting party. This was counterbalanced by the statement of a hunting safety specialist who said that bird hunters are cautioned and trained never to shoot at a bird in flight until he/she clearly sees sky between the bird-in-flight and the horizon (be that ground, brush or trees), thus ensuring that dogs and companion hunters will not be hit. He stated that in any and all hunting accidents the responsibility for safety always defaults to the shooter.
posted by ericb at 4:12 PM on February 14, 2006

lol @ racist drunk-tank clown.
posted by delmoi at 4:14 PM on February 14, 2006

Embedded video of a man shooting a target with a .28 gauge shotgun 90 feet away
posted by robbyrobs at 4:15 PM on February 14, 2006

Exactly, ericb. The whole "victim is guilty" in this thing violates everything I have EVER been taught about hunting safety.

But, it at least gives some "cover" for Cheney apologists.
posted by darkstar at 4:19 PM on February 14, 2006

I heard that some of his hunting buddies have come forward to declare that Cheney actually jumped out of the truck and charged up the river bank before chasing Whittington behind a hut and then shooting the cowering 78 year-old loincloth wearing man.

So now we have a new hero.
posted by washburn at 4:19 PM on February 14, 2006

META.
posted by sgt.serenity at 4:34 PM on February 14, 2006

I find it mind-boggling that one can have such an accident at a canned hunt (drive-up, manufactured shooting location, docile prey) without alcohol being involved.
posted by clevershark at 4:35 PM on February 14, 2006

Hey, racist dunk-tank clown...

How did Cheney get to be Bush's running mate?

He called shotgun.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 4:35 PM on February 14, 2006

Hmm, too bad nothing like this happened on Cheney's duck hunting trip with Scalia.
posted by delmoi at 4:38 PM on February 14, 2006

cosmonaught:

Apparently, the most dangerous game is not all that it's cracked up to be. :)
posted by -harlequin- at 4:59 PM on February 14, 2006

Channel surfing -- and I come across former Senator Alan Simpson on CNN's "The Situation Room” parroting the White House "blame-the-victiom" talking point: "Harry should have announced his return to the shooting party."

Yet, another hunting safety expert is quoted as saying that it is the shooter's responsibility to account for the location of his/her companions and to "shoulder the gun," until he/she has done so.
posted by ericb at 5:01 PM on February 14, 2006

Let's say his hunting buddy dies. Does Cheney have to step down out of respect for the office? It seems really weird to have a Vice President that killed someone in office, even if it was an accident.

Burr finished his term after killing Hamilton.

"Burr was later charged with murder in New York and New Jersey, but was never tried in either jurisdiction. He escaped to South Carolina, where his daughter lived with her family, but soon returned to Washington, D.C. to complete his term of service as Vice President." - WP
posted by jaysus chris at 5:02 PM on February 14, 2006

the guardian writes:

"Asked whether the pellet could move farther into his heart and become fatal, hospital officials said that was a hypothetical question they could not answer."

i believe that could be viably translated as a resounding 'yes' in any given language on earth.
posted by rodney stewart at 5:04 PM on February 14, 2006

Former Bush Press Secretary Ari Fleischer Joins Criticism Of Cheney's Response to Shooting.
posted by ericb at 5:05 PM on February 14, 2006

Remember, kids, guns don't hurt people, Cheney does
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 5:07 PM on February 14, 2006

"Even before yesterday's alarming turn in Mr Whittington's health, Mr. Cheney had been cast as a man who believes executive branch powers trump any tiresome obligation to inform anyone - whether Congress or the press - of what he is up to. True to form, the one person who has not uttered a word on the affair is the Vice-President himself."

[The Independent | February 15, 2006]
posted by ericb at 5:08 PM on February 14, 2006

will this be hunting gate or quailgate? whittingtongate and shotgungate probbly won't work.
posted by rodney stewart at 5:21 PM on February 14, 2006

Hopefully not aggravatedmanslaughtergate.
posted by bardic at 5:23 PM on February 14, 2006

As of now, at least as far as I'm aware, this is still funny, funny shit.

I hope Mr. W. makes it through the night.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:26 PM on February 14, 2006

The fact that Cheney has been arrested twice for DUI, albeit many years ago, would make the question of alcohol involvement a legitimate question. He has a well-known reputation as a heavy drinker.
posted by JackFlash at 5:27 PM on February 14, 2006

This is the guy who decides whether or not charges are filed:

'It is just a silly notion that anyone would be charged in an accident like this, whether or not it is the vice president involved," Jaime Tijerina, the Kenedy County attorney, said in a telephone interview.

Tijerina, a Republican who was elected to his post, added: 'You got to understand the culture down here. Hunting is what you do. If you quail hunt, you are going to get peppered every now and then."—Boston.com

And if it would have been the Vice President that was "peppered" and a pellet migrated to his heart . . . ?
posted by spock at 5:28 PM on February 14, 2006

You know, the chances of Cheney ever running for office again in any form were already slim, but this pretty much sinks them. His name is now a joke.
posted by Artw at 5:30 PM on February 14, 2006

The Washington Post reported that law enforcement officials did not interview Cheney until Sunday morning, about 14 hours after the shooting, in an agreement worked out between the Secret Service and Ramon Salinas, the sheriff of Kenedy County. Secret Service spokesman Eric Zahren said at least one deputy was turned away shortly after the shooting because security personnel at the ranch were not aware of the agreement between the sheriff and the Secret Service.

Why would you want the Vice President to not be interviewed until a good deal of time had gone by? So he could sober up, perhaps?
posted by spock at 5:34 PM on February 14, 2006

was cheney drunk? or high on drugs?

WTF?

chappaquidick baby
posted by specialk420 at 5:48 PM on February 14, 2006

Why would you want the Vice President to not be interviewed until a good deal of time had gone by?

it could be construed that dick is working on the basis that the old codger is already dead.

if so, a whitewash would ensue and any properly whitewashed story requires extra time among participants in order to stage manage & choreograph the supposed events.
posted by rodney stewart at 5:49 PM on February 14, 2006

Bummer of a birthmark, Harry...
posted by greatgefilte at 5:53 PM on February 14, 2006

Tijerina, a Republican who was elected to his post, added: 'You got to understand the culture down here. Hunting is what you do. If you quail hunt, you are going to get peppered every now and then."—

Really? So y'all are walking around with pellets lodged in your heart muscles? Man, you Texas hombres are tough sons a bitches.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:54 PM on February 14, 2006

I hope that Mr. Cheney's shooting victim pulls through.

I am suddenly reminded of a Mad TV sketch. [embedded video]
posted by milquetoast at 5:56 PM on February 14, 2006

If he dies then they should put Whittington's face on the $10 bill, then maybe SNL could make their second funny sketch of the season. "You can call me Dick Cheney by the way I'm droppin' Whittingtons!"
posted by any major dude at 5:59 PM on February 14, 2006

In all my years of mid-west living I have never heard of a hunting trip that didn't involve drinking. No really, never.
posted by 517 at 6:04 PM on February 14, 2006

I bet any other 78 year-old man "peppered" by birdshot in the face and chest would be dead right now. I'm sure Whittington is being kept alive by any and all means possible, his body respirated and electrified until reports that he died of Sudden Elder Death Syndrome get stuffed in the back of the Post after a few news cycles.
posted by bukharin at 6:05 PM on February 14, 2006

Mod note: Some people in the hunting party were drinking. According to the Google cache of this MSNBC story, Armstrong said, "There may be a beer or two in there, but remember not everyone in the party was shooting." via
posted by kirkaracha (staff) at 6:10 PM on February 14, 2006

Hunters, gun experts divided over who’s at fault.
posted by ericb at 6:12 PM on February 14, 2006

"When birdshot is in your body, there's always the risk they can move. We'll watch very closely for any migration."

Good one, doc.
posted by hoborg at 6:16 PM on February 14, 2006

"There may be a beer or two in there"

Not true according to the Kennedy County Sherrif Office. their somewhat comedic press release on smokinggun categorically states no alcohol or miscondunduct was involved. and they should know. they allegedly 'investigated' the whole thing.
posted by rodney stewart at 6:23 PM on February 14, 2006

Man, I really really hope Whittington turns out to be OK. I feel like such a chump for believing the Sunday night spin. Pull the football away again...d'oh!
posted by soyjoy at 6:27 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney Shoots -- 12 pages of political cartoons regarding the incident.
posted by ericb at 6:31 PM on February 14, 2006

What I hope is that someone else does an FPP on Cheney shooting that guy. That would be so cool and funny, not to mention IRONIC! Talk about "war on terra." Heh heh. See you guys there!
posted by shoos at 6:34 PM on February 14, 2006

"We Are All Harry Whittington

No sooner had the White House decided that the best strategy to deal with Cheney's Chappaquiddick was to make self-deprecating jokes about it than his Texas hospital inconveniently revealed that birdshot in Harry Whittington's body had migrated to his heart and caused atrial fib -- turns out he had a heart attack. He's back in the ICU. Worse, there's no reason that other shot can't now migrate into additional internal organs.

Does this mean ix-nay on the jokes, Scottie?

Now that the White House press corps has learned firsthand what Pat Leahy must have felt like to get the full Cheney treatment, Harry Whittington's predicament threatens to become a metaphor of what's happened to America under Bush/Cheney. Profound injury has been inflicted on us. The damage could worsen at any moment. And the only response from those responsible is silence, arrogance and misdirection. With their short-lived comedy offensive in disarray, how long do you think it will be before they return to tried-and-true 9/11 fearmongering?

UPDATE: Turns out that Scottie knew about the heart attack before doing his White House press corps briefing today. He later explained that he didn't mention it at the time because it was more appropriate for that information to be released later on by, um -- hey, how 'bout those Longhorns, huh?

UPDATE 2: That distinguished gentleman, Senator Norm Coleman, just told Wolf that -- instead of fighting about how the White House was handling this thing -- what we should all be doing is feeling sympathetic toward the Vice President, on account of what a heavy "burden" he must be feeling after what happened."

posted by ericb at 6:36 PM on February 14, 2006

I feel like such a chump for believing the Sunday night spin.

Yeah -- me too.

"Mr. Whittington was hit in the cheek, neck and chest, but is said to be 'alert and doing fine' in hospital.

The hospital's chief of emergency care, David Blanchard, said that the number of bird shot pellets lodged in Mr. Whittington's skin, which he described as 'more than I can count on the fingers of my hand, but less than 100,' were such that doctors would not try to remove them.

Mr. Blanchard said that Mr Whittington will probably have the pellets in his body for the rest of his life.

Mr. Whittington's daughter, Sally, told the Dallas Morning News 'It looks like chicken pox, kind of.' 'He was very, very lucky that nothing seriously was injured,' she added." [BBC News | February 14, 2006]

posted by ericb at 6:40 PM on February 14, 2006

Per Drudge: "NYT: CHENEY FACES GRAND JURY INVESTIGATION IF MAN DIES... In Texas, Carlos Valdez, the district attorney in Kleberg County, said a fatality would immediately spur a new report from the local sheriff and, most likely, a grand jury investigation..."
posted by bukharin at 6:40 PM on February 14, 2006

Coleman's right... clearly Cheney is the victim here!

Do Republicans actually listen to themselves when they speak?..
posted by clevershark at 6:42 PM on February 14, 2006

I was going through this and didn't see anyone making the comparison I was making. Chapadaquiddick. (If Whittington dies) The delay in reporting, the allegations of drunkenness, the probable lies.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:43 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney's hunting host lobbied White House. Where was Ambramoff?
posted by ericb at 6:46 PM on February 14, 2006

Of course I wish the best for this guy. But it would be really cool if he died. Maybe he’ll go into a coma, like Terry Schiavo. Then Hillary can be president and pull his feeding tube.
posted by Huplescat at 6:47 PM on February 14, 2006

someone is clearly telling porkies.

None in the hunting party was drinking alcohol, Armstrong said.

"No, zero, zippo and I don’t drink at all," she said. "No one was drinking."
posted by rodney stewart at 6:47 PM on February 14, 2006

Dick Cheney’s potential legal exposure.
posted by ericb at 6:48 PM on February 14, 2006

But it would be really cool if he died.

I'm sorry, but that is harsh.
posted by ericb at 6:48 PM on February 14, 2006

No... harsh would be if I said it would be awsome if he died.
posted by Huplescat at 7:03 PM on February 14, 2006

"The vice president appears to have behaved like a teenager who thinks that if he keeps quiet about the wreck, no one will notice that the family car is missing its right door."

Can't take credit for this - it's the New York Times Editorial.
posted by trii at 7:07 PM on February 14, 2006

since when is Armstrong any kind of official administration spokesman?

when even Republicans are talking about this all day long, there's a problem. Cheney had to step down anyway, so this might as well be the time--before he's actually a murderer.
posted by amberglow at 7:09 PM on February 14, 2006

Robot Johnny writes "With the birdshot still inside his body, this guy's going to have trouble getting through the metal detectors at airports."

Sub dermal shot is unlikely to be picked up by airport security. If it was the rivets on jeans and the metal in snaps would be setting them off making the devices useless.
posted by Mitheral at 7:10 PM on February 14, 2006

From ericb's link: However, all these experts agreed that Cheney could almost certainly face civil liability, if the Whittingtons decided to sue. The standard here is much lower -- simple negligence. The question would then be, what would a careful hunter do in a similar situation...

No, it's what would a reasonably prudent person do in the same situation. Or, is the burden imposed on Cheney by demanding that he watch where he points his damn gun less than the probability of shooting his friend in the face, times the loss suffered by the friend due to being shot in the face? Or, when calculating the probability and loss, should we consider all the harms that would have been averted if Cheney had undertaken the burden of watching where he was pointing his damn gun, rather than just the harm that did in fact occur? Someone get Learned Hand on line one.

(I love tort law.)
posted by rkent at 7:36 PM on February 14, 2006

there's really no end to the irony. it now seems Whittington was peppered by a guy drunk on Dr. Pepper.
posted by rodney stewart at 7:38 PM on February 14, 2006

Whittington Suffers Heart Attack, Jokes Subside.
posted by ericb at 7:39 PM on February 14, 2006

Time Magazine: What's Behind Whittington's "Minor Heart Attack"?
posted by ericb at 7:41 PM on February 14, 2006

rodney stewart: Dr Pepper, not Dr. Pepper.
posted by emelenjr at 7:55 PM on February 14, 2006

...The Vice President shot a 78 year old man in the face.

And has neither publicly apologized or explained his actions. ...
posted by amberglow at 8:02 PM on February 14, 2006

Cheney called Whittington on Tuesday afternoon to offer his "thoughts and prayers," the vice president's office said.
Cheney told Whittington "that he stood ready to assist," Cheney's office said in a written statement, adding that "Mr. Whittington's spirits were good, but obviously his situation deserves the careful monitoring that his doctors are providing." ...

It's not like Cheney's the one who is responsible or anything. Whoever could have possibly did this to you will be hunted down, dead or alive--right?
posted by amberglow at 8:05 PM on February 14, 2006

What's all the fuss about? Gangsters shoot each other all the time. Get a grip.
posted by warbaby at 8:11 PM on February 14, 2006

Tijerina, a Republican who was elected to his post, added: 'You got to understand the culture down here. Hunting is what you do. If you quail hunt, you are going to get peppered every now and then."—Boston.com

You know, reading that, is really is just amazing how fucking stupid they think we are. This asshole is trying to say that GETTING SHOT is normal for hunting in Texas. Of course, he's not lying -- because he said "peppered," which does not mean getting shot. Mr. Whittington was not peppered, he was SHOT. There is a difference, and Cheney, this sheriff, and every hunter knows it. But hey, won't you play along, please? Why quibble about whether what's being said is the truth? It's politically expedient, can't you see?

All the way down to Republican sheriffs, these fuckers are corrupt.

I've said jokingly that Republicans would defend Bush even if he ate an infant on live TV. Well, that may be hyperbole, but they have no trouble going all Soviet Politburo, and redefining reality, to try and defend a VP who shot a man.

Fucking disgusting.

(It's also quite obvious that Rove or whomever has sent out the memo demanding that no Republican source use the word "shot" in public -- he was "peppered." Amazing).
posted by teece at 8:11 PM on February 14, 2006

well, i can only tell you that even the republicans at work weren't buying it--at all. no one who's peppered has a heart attack because of it.
posted by amberglow at 8:13 PM on February 14, 2006

And while America is distracted by the Vice President's shooting of an old lawyer, The FBI engages in violent raids on militant independence activists in Puerto Rico, spraying journalists with tear gas in the process.

"Under the guise of Homeland Security and the pretense of 'terrorism,' the U.S. has unleashed the repressive and occupying forces of the FBI in the streets of Puerto Rico," state Assemblyman Jose Rivera said in a statement, calling on Rep. Charles Rangel to launch a congressional hearing. "The only 'domestic terrorist attack' here is the attack of the United States Government on the people of Puerto Rico."

But continue with your distractions.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:15 PM on February 14, 2006

I'm indignant and disgusted. What about you guys?
posted by shoos at 8:16 PM on February 14, 2006

the Macheteros are fascist thugs
posted by shoos at 8:18 PM on February 14, 2006

But continue with your distractions.

the cheney thing is a distraction, and not only for that: the photos Hersh spoke of way back when about Abu Ghraib are released now too, and the Katrina shit, and the Abramoff crimes, and the Plame crimes, and the DeLay crimes, and the ...
posted by amberglow at 8:25 PM on February 14, 2006

A kind of similar Australian case...

Last year the Deputy Leader of the (opposition, conservative) Liberal Party in Western Australia, Paul Omodei, was convicted for shooting his son:

Paul Omodei and his 33-year-old son, Paul Omodei Junior, went out onto the family property at Pemberton. They were looking for kangaroos and rabbits believed responsible for damaging the grape crop. Driving along in their Landcruiser, they saw a broken sprinkler. They stopped and got out to investigate. Paul Junior went over to the sprinkler and asked his father for more light. Paul Senior decided to use the lamp on his rifle, and he pointed it in the direction of his son. The gun fired, and Paul Junior's thumb was blown off. Immediate surgery with bone grafts restored the thumb to working order.

This was pretty much universally regarded as being an accident, but he was still prosecuted for his carelessness. He was given a AU$1500 fine and a spent conviction. He also resigned from his position as Deputy Leader of the Party, and from the front bench of parliament.
posted by robcorr at 8:29 PM on February 14, 2006

... Vice President Cheney overruled the advice of several members of the White House staff and insisted on sticking to a plan for releasing information about his hunting accident that resulted in a 20-hour, overnight delay in public confirmation of the startling incident, according to several Republican sources.

"This is either a cover-up story or an incompetence story," said a top Republican who is close to the White House and has rarely been critical of the Administration in the past five years. "Karl was constrained, as was the entire communications operation, because the Vice President had arranged for how this was to come out."
posted by amberglow at 8:35 PM on February 14, 2006

...The sherrif's office has acknowledged that they weren't allowed to talk to Cheney for 15 hours after the accident, but now ranch owner Katharine Armstrong has told MSNBC that people in the party were drinking ...
posted by amberglow at 8:40 PM on February 14, 2006

The 10 ways Dick Cheney can Kill You!

Q: What do you call it when the Vice President shoots a Republican lawyer?
A: A good start.

See, here's my problem...you just don't know who to cheer for...The Antichrist, or the Lawyer he shot...

Me, I just want to know if it's open season on lawyers...cause I have guns, and am willing to lead the safari into the Dallas downtown wilds if we're going all Shakespearean about the place.

What I really don't fucking understand is under what authority are the police told to "not question Cheney."

What the Dallas Morning News reported was that the Secret Service wouldn't allow the local sheriff's on the grounds. The SS overrides local law officials, I think, 100% of the time. I could be wrong, I have no linkage handy...but I do seem to remember reading that the Feds can always push the locals around.

In any case, this won't be any more important than anything else this administration has done. Good lord, if they can get away with Iraq, and torture, and 30,000+ dead civilians, and murdering mothers in front of their babies, and holding people without warrants or trials, or extraditing folks for torture, or outing CIA operatives, or making up that WMD thing, or throwing millions of poor kids off the free lunch program so their buddies can get another tax break...well, Dick Cheney shooting someone in the face isn't even going to break their stride.
posted by dejah420 at 8:52 PM on February 14, 2006

And is there any wonder the USA is stereotyped as a "cowboy" nation? All in the course of a month you've had Brokeback Mountain, stealing from Indians, and shootin' varmints.

What a class act you are, America!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:13 PM on February 14, 2006

insomnia-lj wins!
posted by Balisong at 9:58 PM on February 14, 2006

I can't wait until tomorrow's Dick Cheney FPP. That will be so great and really fun to participate in. I'm thinking up comments and possible funny jokes I can post right now.
posted by shoos at 10:21 PM on February 14, 2006

That bullet is moving REALLY slow!!
posted by wumpus at 10:28 PM on February 14, 2006

Oh, poor shoos, he is distraught by our making fun of the VP!
posted by five fresh fish at 10:35 PM on February 14, 2006

why is there a second FPP for this?
posted by Miles Long at 1:17 PM PST on February 14 [!]

Please provide a link to the FPP to where the heart condition was mentioned before this FPP.

And for record: Cheney is undeniably involved in a cover up.
teece, you know this, how?

This was an accident. Get over it.
posted by mad judge pickles at 1:38 PM PST on February 14 [!]

Err mad judge pickle - how do you know that there IS NO COVER UP ?

Not a one of us was there. Not a one of us know how close the gun/target were to each other. Not a one of us know if Mr. Cheney was drunk, stoned or on/off his meds.

What we do know is there were many hours between the incident and the reporting. And no one has reported any blood tests of anyone involved, thus 'proof' of drunkenness/drug use is 'not knowable'. (If there were blood tests showing firearm operation in an altered state of mind - would us mere citizens be told anyway? To believe "NO" shows what is wrong with the Republic - a lack of trust of citizens in government via many incidents to create a environment of mistrust and lack of accountability.)

Mr Cheney could have been sober (per the reports) and the gun discharged at a range closer than 30 feet, thus making the 'accident reporting' a cover up - thus making BOTH of your statements correct.


Almost all of us hunters have been peppered with shot at one time or another.

I've shot and eaten 100's of lbs of game kritters (rabbit, squirrel, deer, partridge, pheasant, turkey) and have NEVER been hit with projectiles previously ballistic from a gun.

But I'm not important enough to be invited to go hunting with Cheney.
posted by rough ashlar at 11:30 PM on February 14, 2006

why is there a second FPP for this?
posted by Miles Long at 1:17 PM PST on February 14 [!]

Please provide a link to the FPP to where the heart condition was mentioned before this FPP.

don't get snippy just cause you came late to the party. at the time this was posted there was already an FPP discussing the incident. When the heart attack story broke, it was discussed in that thread. Did we need another FPP on the same subject? point is moot now of course...
posted by Miles Long at 12:01 AM on February 15, 2006

But continue with your distractions.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:15 PM PST on February 14 [!]

AZ, this is a nice SAFE topic for the press to report on.

Only a handful of citizens have any involvment. Unlike many of the other topics which could be reported on which might 'shake faith in the markets' or have the citizens who read the reporting questioning how thier choices have helped the problem, and the magnitude of change they would have to undertake to correct whatever problem is being reported on. Thus, for readers/citizens, it is a safe topic.
posted by rough ashlar at 12:03 AM on February 15, 2006

don't get snippy just cause you came late to the party

'snippy'? Is that the best you got?

Did we need another FPP on the same subject?

The subject here is the health of the shot man. FAR different than 'a man has been shot by the #2 leader of the US of A.'

Or was the subject of both FPP's "My boss is getting bad press and it is my job to deflect criticism"?
posted by rough ashlar at 12:13 AM on February 15, 2006

"Because the emperor works behind Darth Vader; he doesn't actually stand in front of him. I say that in fear of getting hit with a lot of buckshot."
posted by homunculus at 12:46 AM on February 15, 2006

I love how Professor Instacracker has just a very small item on Cheney's "unfortunate firearms accident", linking to another thug who's hoping Cheney will soon go hunting with John Kerry.

what a sad, sad tool.

I'd like to state again my surprise -- this thread has more comments than the Abu Ghraib one. especially in a country that fetishises guns as much as America does, a hunting accident is not that unheard of. if you're appalled at Cheney's heartlessness (seriously, who wouldn't be at the bedside of the man he or she has shot in the face?) or his cowardice (the unwillingness to take responsibility) we,, I wonder where have you been since Jan 2001 -- maybe on Mars.
posted by matteo at 1:02 AM on February 15, 2006

this thread has more comments than the Abu Ghraib one.

Which Abu Ghraib one? Where the events where 'press rumors' VS confirmed actions VS the rumors of child rape VS the talk about the demonstrations/violence?

The most recent one - its more pictures to establish what is already known. What are we gonna say that was not said the times before?

Many of the comments here are gallows humor at the expense of Mr. Cheney or the lawyer. I don't remember lots of attempts at humor in the Abu Ghraib threads, but both have their fair share of denial/attempts to minimize the respective level of seriousness.
posted by rough ashlar at 2:01 AM on February 15, 2006

you can spin this as much as you like, but numbers are numbers -- minor hunting accident involving a 60 year old myopic fat guy gets 200+ comments. new evidence of American war crimes (torture of POWs being a war crime, of course) are considered less worthy of comment around here.
posted by matteo at 2:18 AM on February 15, 2006

the rumors of child rape

they aren't rumors -- Republican US Senators have confirmed that the unseen photos-footage contain murder-rape etc
posted by matteo at 2:19 AM on February 15, 2006

you can spin this as much as you like,

I'm not trying to 'spin it' at all. At this point, there are 2 FPP's on Cheney and the shot lawyer. How many Abu Ghraib FPP related posts are there?

And are you willing to claim the total number of posts is still greater in the Cheney gunshot FPP's?
posted by rough ashlar at 2:24 AM on February 15, 2006

I didn't realise it was a competition or the worth of a news story was decided by the amount (and not quality) of comments.

There, I've made this post a little bit more important.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:06 AM on February 15, 2006

Be a man. You shot a guy.

That would be my unsolicited advice for Vice President Dick Cheney.
You shot a guy. At least stay in town until he's out of the hospital.
You shot a guy. Don't blame the sun or the wind or the rotation of the Earth. And for goodness' sake, don't blame Harry Whittington.
He's the guy you shot, and unless he pulled the trigger himself, it wasn't his fault. Unless he was invisible, it wasn't his fault. And it wasn't his fault that he didn't "announce his presence," either. He was supposedly 30 yards behind you. His only fault was being a human being standing on two legs.
He's in the hospital. You're in Washington. And others are making excuses for you.
You shot the guy. ...
posted by amberglow at 6:04 AM on February 15, 2006

From the Post's linked article:

The lawyer's heart condition Tuesday led Blanchard and hospital Administrator Peter Banko to say Whittington had suffered a "mild heart attack." However, their description of events does not fit that of a heart attack as that term is generally used.

I wonder if:

a) It wasn't a heart attaack, and they misspoke
or
b) It was a heart attack, but they described it as arrythmia.
posted by bugmuncher at 6:24 AM on February 15, 2006

I didn't realise it was a competition or the worth of a news story was decided by the amount (and not quality) of comments.

news are driven by readership (or by viewers). sorry you didn't realise that until now.
posted by matteo at 6:32 AM on February 15, 2006

Cheney + Whittington


Abu Ghraib + Sidney Morning Herald

*chuckle*
posted by matteo at 6:35 AM on February 15, 2006

19 pages vs 2 on GoogleNews
posted by matteo at 6:36 AM on February 15, 2006

Sorry, meant to say that I didn't realise the worth of a news story was decided by the amount (and not quality) of comments... on metafilter.

Personally, I think that the Abu Ghraib news story should be in the headlines over this, but to say that we're all fools for commenting on this thread instead of the other one is not exactly an issue.

Hell, the most read news story of The Seattle Times was about horse sex. The internet is full of people like this. The story of Dick Cheney shooting a guy with a shotgun is so much more entertaining and funny than the harsh realities of Abu Ghraib. If you think this is somehow indicative of how the real world operates, you're a bigger fool than you imply I am.

And hate to break it to you, the internet is not the end-all be-all of news reporting in the world. (Why not put the two in GoogleFight to see which one is more important, since this is your basis on what is being covered.) The Abu Ghraib pictures are getting a hell of a lot of more coverage (paper/TV) over here in the UK. And the main page of bbc.co.uk doesn't even make mention of Cheney's victim, but the Abu Ghraib images are top story.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:02 AM on February 15, 2006

So, is it going to be Rice or Allen as the new Veep?
posted by amberglow at 7:02 AM on February 15, 2006

This has it right:
But I finally realized (boy, I'm slow today!) that the whole episode serves as an admirable parable of this administration: Picking targets that they think are easy (tame birds in this case), then finding out that the whole thing turned into a disaster (shooting yourself or someone on your side), then exhibiting a certain callousness about the whole thing (going to have the meal as planned) and then trying to keep everything a secret.
posted by amberglow at 7:07 AM on February 15, 2006

Matteo, I don't think # of comments = level of concern. The VP shooting a guy, and the White House keeping it quiet is interesting, unusual and indicative of this administration's arrogance and secrecy. Plus, until Whittington had a heart attack, it was a highly entertaining snarkfest.

I don't feel compelled to comment in the Abu Ghraib thread. That is not an indicator of my concern. Instead of berating people for commenting in this thread, why don't you craft a fantastic post about what people can do to protest this government's shameful behavior.
posted by theora55 at 7:10 AM on February 15, 2006

and what amberglow said.
posted by theora55 at 7:11 AM on February 15, 2006

matteo writes "I'd like to state again my surprise -- this thread has more comments than the Abu Ghraib one. "

Why are you surprised? Even you are posting in a 7:1 ratio (accident:photos). This topic obviously has more to talk about.
posted by Mitheral at 7:15 AM on February 15, 2006

Sorry Matteo, a VP only shoots a guy every couple hundred years or so. War crimes happen all the time. Imagine how many comments Clinton getting his dick sucked would have had here, and nobody was even shot in that escapade. (With bullets at least.)
posted by anomie at 7:15 AM on February 15, 2006

Yeah, and matteo has 7 comments on this thread and 1 on the Abu Ghraib thread.

And the one comment basically states how the photos are of no significance anyway.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:18 AM on February 15, 2006

Here's my eplanation for the Abu Ghraib comparison...
Yes, Abu Ghraib is more serious than Cheney shooting a single person (just as New Orleans is bigger, just as the Iran nuclear stand-off is, etc... etc...). However, many of the posters feel that the root of all the problems goes back to our administration. They're the ones who got us into Iraq, failed to respond to New Orleans correctly, OK'd Abu Ghraib's torture, and so forth.

We've seen that many Americans have refused to criticize the administration and hold them accountable. The administration has also been extremely adept at passing blame. In the Cheney incident, this would seem impossible. So, if through the cover-up and negligence shown in this incident, we can either remove half of the problem or render the administration a lame-duck (no pun intended), then we're not going to let it die.
posted by Crash at 7:23 AM on February 15, 2006

So, is it going to be Rice or Allen as the new Veep?

McCain. Then he'd run for president as the quasi-incumbent.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:42 AM on February 15, 2006

Handling of Mishap Creates Strain in the White House

"Mr. Cheney...[has a] habit of living in his own world in the Bush White House — surrounded by his own staff, relying on his own instincts, saying as little as possible — [such has] backfired since the accident in Texas on Saturday. Mr. Cheney's staff members have kept their comments to chronological details and to repeating the vice president's written statements.

The tension between President Bush's staff and Mr. Cheney's has been palpable, with White House officials whispering to reporters about how they tried to handle the news of the shooting differently....

The past three days have underscored, in public, what has always been clear in the Bush White House: Mr. Cheney plays by rules of his own making. It is the freedom that only a political figure who knows he is in his last job — he often says he will never run again — can get away with.

... it is a telling example of the cocoon Mr. Cheney has created within the White House." [New York Times | February 15, 2006]

posted by ericb at 7:55 AM on February 15, 2006

'snippy'? Is that the best you got?

no, but that's the best that you get. i'm not going to fight with you. Unless you really want to.
This was an update. Same subject. a single link FPP with scare quotes around 'victim'. As if Whittington wasn't a victim or something.
posted by Miles Long at 8:00 AM on February 15, 2006

b) It was a heart attack, but they described it as arrythmia.

If I've been understanding the news reports correctly, it was both. EKG changes indicated a recent small area of ischemia in the heart muscle because of a migratory piece of shot; the EKG also indicated the presence of a dysrythmia called atrial fibrillation, which might be a secondary complication of the small heart attack.

(Thing is, there's really no way to know without serial EKGs if Whittington didn't already have atrial fibrillation (afib). If his last EKG was a year or two ago, it's entirely possible that he's had afib for a while. It's a very common condition among people his age and it's often asymptomatic.)
posted by jesourie at 8:21 AM on February 15, 2006

matteo: There's 400+ comments in the threads explicitly tagged with Abu Ghraib; it a person took a mind to check out +torture and +Iraq tags as well, it's probably top out at a thousand. Meanwhile, there are a little less than 500 about lawyer-bagging Cheney, which is a hell of a lot easier to joke* about than American war crimes. Please stop trolling, or take it to MeTa, assuming that you're not just being disingenuous.
I've finished my breakfast cigarette, swallowed your bait, and now I'm done with you.

*Not slagging the jokes, but comparing comment counts is a BS way to gauge 'how much MeFi cares', considering how much we love our zingy one-liners.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:26 AM on February 15, 2006

Cheney to speak about shooting this afternoon (2:00 p.m. ET) on Fox News (of course).
posted by ericb at 8:38 AM on February 15, 2006

WE ARE ALL HARRY WITTINGTON
posted by specialk420 at 8:40 AM on February 15, 2006

I can't believe all you people are so gullibly falling for the "lone gunman" theory. Yes, pellets left Cheney's gun in the direction of Whittington. Yes, pellets hit Whittington from the direction of Cheney's gun. But is every pellet accounted for?

Did you even realise that if you extrapolate backwards from the wounds in a slightly fuzzy way, you could implicate someone standing behind Cheney (on an area which computer simulation has shown to be "grassy")??

I suspect that any "official" investigation of this incident will dismiss the multiple-shooters theory entirely. Or, more suspiciously, fail to mention it at all. Yet consider this, my friends: if we assume that there were multiple shooters, then an astonishing conclusion follows: there was more than one shooter.

But are people going to hear this truth from the "government" or the "mainstream" "media"? No. It's up to you.
posted by infobomb at 8:41 AM on February 15, 2006

Cheney on Fox? I hope he cries, then Oprah calls...
posted by R. Mutt at 8:51 AM on February 15, 2006

In case you haven't heard this version:

. One of the party who was a little behind him shot a quail and had to hunt it up in the bush. He found the bird and then charged after the Cheney people. The VP, who is terrified that people are going to assassinate him, heard his friend calling and crashing towards him, saw a figure with a gun... and fired right at him.
posted by rough ashlar at 8:54 AM on February 15, 2006

From Amberglow's 11:40 link:

Those pen raised birds can hardly fly. Sometimes the birds won't fly at all. They think you've come to feed them. That explains why Dick was aiming so low.

That answers one of my (many) questions.

Here's another: We now know Cheney has an ambulance "on call." Is this standard for Veeps? For Presidents? I mean we know Bush is always falling off his bicycle. Or is Cheney's health really so bad they expect him to keel over at any minute.

And once again, my home own paper (The Raleigh News & Observer) decided to downplay the whole thing by putting the story on page 5 with the headline: Man Cheney Shot Has Medical Setback. No where in the article does the term "heart attack" appear.

That Anderson broad is one bold-faced liar. She's told at least three whoppers that I know of:
1. She had no contact with the White House before her first press release.
2. Whittington was "bruised."
3. Nobody in the shooting party was drinking.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:07 AM on February 15, 2006

We now know Cheney has an ambulance "on call." Is this standard for Veeps? For Presidents?

Yes. The White House Medical Unit "provides worldwide emergency action response and comprehensive medical care to the President, the Vice President, and their families."

Ambulances, physicians and support staff travel with the Executive Officers in their motorcades.

As well, "[o]n board Air Force One are medical facilities, including a fold-out operating table, emergency medical supplies, and a well-stocked pharmacy."
posted by ericb at 9:39 AM on February 15, 2006

We now know Cheney has an ambulance "on call." Is this standard for Veeps? For Presidents?

While I don't know for certain if one is always on call in every situation, I've seen enough Presidential motorcades here in DC to know that an ambulance always follows the rest of the cars. Wouldn't be surprised if the Veep gets the same treatment, especially with his heart.

But that's just motorcades... I don't know about hunting trips in Texas...
posted by educatedslacker at 9:42 AM on February 15, 2006

So when does Condi take the oath of office?
posted by R. Mutt at 9:44 AM on February 15, 2006

Ahh, thanks for the link, ericb!

Knowing is half the battle.
posted by educatedslacker at 9:44 AM on February 15, 2006

Troubling Questions About Cheney's Boss

"Why is the vice president getting nearly all the blame for keeping his shooting escapade secret last weekend? President Bush either kept it hidden just as long--or, equally disturbing, maybe he did not find out about Cheney's role as shooter until much later."

posted by ericb at 9:49 AM on February 15, 2006

Matteo's comments on Cheney hunting accident threads: 8

Matteo's comments on Abu Ghraib thread: 1

OMG, the infallible comment count method has revealed your true priorities. You can spin this as much as you like, but numbers are numbers. Liberal Matteo my ass.
posted by dgaicun at 9:49 AM on February 15, 2006

Enough with the Matteo derail, okay? It's all out in the open now and we can draw our own conclusions.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:53 AM on February 15, 2006

Was Cheney Hiding His Lewinsky?
posted by ericb at 9:55 AM on February 15, 2006

Cheney's Chappaquiddick II: The Real Story Emerges.
posted by ericb at 9:56 AM on February 15, 2006

The fact that Cheney has been arrested twice for DUI, albeit many years ago, would make the question of alcohol involvement a legitimate question.

Looks like it is a strong possibility.
posted by Mr_Zero at 10:06 AM on February 15, 2006

Back to that bold-faced liar, Armstrong (NOT Anderson...ugh...my aphasia/autism/Alzheimer's rearing its nasty head again) here is a nice little analysis of her many conflicting statements including:

From what Armstrong said she saw as she sat in the hunt vehicle about 100 yards from Cheney and the other hunters...Think about that. Armstrong was sitting in a car that was parked the length of a football field away, yet she not only could see that Whittington didn't signal, she knew that he didn't announce his return. Even accepting the story that she could see the events clearly from that distance, she certainly wouldn't have been able to hear what Whittington did or didn't say.

Also:

There's a paragraph in the now-scrubbed beer story that makes it clear that she didn't see the accident.
Armstrong said she saw Cheney's security detail running toward the scene. "The first thing that crossed my mind was he had a heart problem," she told The Associated Press.
This is Armstrong admitting that the first evidence she saw that alerted her that something was wrong was the Secret Service running to help. And that she thought it was Cheney who was in trouble.

This says, to me at least, that she did not see the accident at all.

I'm very curious why no one has asked Ms. Ambassador to Switzerland about the accident, seeing as how she was supposedly standing right next to Dick.

Boy, she would be a lousy witness for the defense. She's made so many conflicting reports to the press that it is becoming very clear her only interest is in covering Cheney's ass. Hope she is well rewarded...
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 10:08 AM on February 15, 2006

Even if the VP wasn't covered by the whitehouse medical staff if I was as wealthy as Dick I'd have an ambulance on call as well.
posted by Mitheral at 10:17 AM on February 15, 2006

Not one person bothering to ask, in the meantime, how Dick Cheney’s feeling about all this. After all, he’s a human being and injuring someone else in an accident can take a huge toll.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:18 AM on February 15, 2006

"Dick, have you been able to get a chubby since you shot that old man?" ... "How are you feeling about all this?"
posted by anthill at 10:34 AM on February 15, 2006

Moments ago from today's press briefing at the Texas hosiptal...

REPORTER: At anytime was Mr. Whittington's blood-alcohol level tested?

HOSPITAL SPOKESMAN: No comment. The press conference is over. [Turns and walks away from the podium].
posted by ericb at 10:38 AM on February 15, 2006

Enough with the Matteo derail, okay?

Matte O Matte O

Daylight come and me wanna go
Matte, me say Matte, me say Matte, Me say Matte, me say Matte O
Daylight come and me wanna go home
work all night and a drink a rum
daylight come and me wanna go home
posted by dgaicun at 10:38 AM on February 15, 2006

Wow, you found two words that end with the same letter.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:42 AM on February 15, 2006

'Day-o' isn't technically a word. 'Matteo', maybe.
posted by dgaicun at 10:47 AM on February 15, 2006

Hey, looky there, I do love zingy one-liners. Meep. Meep.
posted by dgaicun at 10:50 AM on February 15, 2006

Waaaait a minute, "Chappaquid, Dick"?
posted by dgaicun at 10:54 AM on February 15, 2006

Meanwhile, it's time to wag the dog;

Reportedly armed with 12 hours of Saddam Hussein's audio recordings, the organizers of an upcoming "Intelligence Summit" are describing the tapes as the "smoking gun evidence" that the Iraqi dictator possessed weapons of mass destruction in the period leading up to the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:56 AM on February 15, 2006

Those pen raised birds can hardly fly. Sometimes the birds won't fly at all. They think you've come to feed them. That explains why Dick was aiming so low.

Oh, good God. What next? A kitten shoot?
posted by rosemere at 10:57 AM on February 15, 2006

Cheney probably had a bottle of whiskey in one hand and the rifle in the other--all of them were probably stinking drunk.
posted by amberglow at 11:01 AM on February 15, 2006

dgaicun: I'm just saying that shit ain't funny.

In stark, monochromal contrast, "Chappaquid, Dick" is comedy gold. Do you hear me?! GOLD!

My lawyers are standing by. Jon Stewart is going to be hemorrhaging royalty payments.

In a mere 50 years time, my memory will be vaguely conflated with Mel Brooks', in a Mithras/Jesus kind of deal.
posted by sonofsamiam at 11:03 AM on February 15, 2006

The next President won't be from the Democratic party.
posted by shoos at 1:52 PM on February 15, 2006

MSNBC’s Missing Paragraph About Alcohol Consumption During the Cheney Hunting Accident Reappears; Reporter Misled By VP’s Office.
posted by ericb at 2:10 PM on February 15, 2006

Cheney Admits To Drinking Beer Prior To Hunting Accident.
posted by ericb at 2:11 PM on February 15, 2006

What I learned from that last link:

1. Armstrong's code name for beer is Dr Pepper-- all you have to do is drop the Dr, change the first P to a B and omit the other p's. Simple, really.

2. Cheney's "no one had been drinking" means "no one had been drinking anything except a little beer a couple of hours ago."

3. Armstrong has an absolutely humongous ranch because:
a) lunch is served at 12:30 meaning the last beer is drunk around 1:00
b) they went out hunting again at 3:00
c) Cheney doesn't hunt with anyone who has been drinking and it was 4 or 5 hours since the last beer (meaning between 5:00 and 6:00)
d) ergo it takes 2 hours to drive to the hunting place on Arm,strong ranch. That is a big ranch.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:08 PM on February 15, 2006

Interesting.//

So does does "a beer" mean, literally, "one beer"? Or does it mean the same thing I mean when I say I'm "going out for 'a beer'"?
posted by LordSludge at 5:14 PM on February 15, 2006

Whittington's Blog: ...Have you ever been in a situation where somebody you thought was your friend did something that hurt you very much, and then they tried to blame it on you? And then that person waited 18 hours to report it to the media, and that person's colleagues tried to make a joke out of it, until you had a heart attack? Just wondering. ...

and i agree-- "Chappaquid, Dick" is gold.
posted by amberglow at 5:23 PM on February 15, 2006

Secret Life of Gravy writes "That is a big ranch."

The ranch is big, something like 50,000 acres/
posted by Mitheral at 5:51 PM on February 15, 2006

I can't post to the front page yet (ever?) So here goes: it's a bit early, but
This bit of flash fun is topical
posted by dylanjames at 6:44 PM on February 15, 2006

dylanjames, you may have been a member since 2004, but you also have to post a minimum (five, I think) number of comments before you're allowed to post a link to the front page.

After you make four more comments, please don't post the flash game to the front page, though.
posted by yhbc at 6:57 PM on February 15, 2006

i liked it, dylan (but no old ladies, old men or little girls? no iraqis? awww)
posted by amberglow at 7:33 PM on February 15, 2006

yhbc - thanks for the Mefi-insider info (and editorial advice). I agree that it would take something much closer to the coolness of Sand to warrant a front-page post. This thing is just silly and tasteless. Topical games are nothing new, but the lead times are waay down. That's technology for you.
posted by dylanjames at 8:24 PM on February 15, 2006

Journalists On Shooting Story List Unanswered Questions.
posted by ericb at 8:44 PM on February 15, 2006

Huh. Journalists aren't asking about The Secret Ladies?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:01 PM on February 15, 2006

This whole affair beggars belief. It is bad enough that the Veep managed to mistake a human being in an orange shirt for a small bird. But as many have pointed out, imagine if someone had "peppered" the VP! Imagine the outcry then! America is a great nation that has given much more to the world than it is often given credit for; but geez, this guy... how can a nation elect a such moron? I just don't get it... Don't the Republicans understand that their "spin doctor" tactics undermine their great nation? The Bible says, "the Truth shall set ye free"... in which case, we are looking at a nation of slaves. I am so saddened by this whole business.
posted by vac2003 at 1:37 AM on February 16, 2006

or just imagine if it had been something Gore did.

here's a list of the medications Cheney is presumed to be on--how many of these are you not allowed to drink with?
posted by amberglow at 6:43 AM on February 16, 2006

I want more dirt on the mistress!
posted by five fresh fish at 10:41 AM on February 16, 2006

What I find curious is this mention in Google News of Armstrong and her sister being in the car when the shooting occured. It only comes up on a google news search, but was edited out of the article by the Washington Post.

So, she was with her sister in the car... Sarita Armstrong Hixon... which presumably was on the road. This is a aerial view of the location where the shooting occurred, according to police records.


posted by insomnia_lj at 9:48 PM on February 16, 2006

The Hixons, btw, are a billion-dollar family based largely out of Texas and Southern California. The Texas branch are big into oil, real estate, and insurance.

Unsurprisingly, Sara (Sarita) and her husband Bob are big contributors. That said, their donations pale in comparison to the multiple $25,000 donations that their family's business has given to the Republican leadership.

One would almost suspect they were getting something in return...
posted by insomnia_lj at 11:06 PM on February 16, 2006

and the Sheriff of the County used to work for them--it's very much their very own(ed) county. And don't forget that James "the Fixer" Baker is the sister's in-law, according to what i hear.
posted by amberglow at 5:56 AM on February 17, 2006

Attention Rita Cosby: ***Missing White Woman Alert*** (2 actually--where's Lynne?)
posted by amberglow at 6:01 AM on February 17, 2006

This Alex Jones dude is a nutbar, but he does at least have a video in which he uses the same shotgun, shell, and distances as Cheney has described.

It seems exceedingly unlikely that Cheney is telling the truth.

video

It's worth a watch. Alex doesn't go off the deep end, he sticks very well to just shooting the gun and showing us the results.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:21 PM on February 17, 2006

Associated Press: VP Accident Tale Filled With Discrepancies .
posted by ericb at 7:58 AM on February 18, 2006

"While Cheney pays any hunting fees or lodging expenses if charged, taxpayers invariably pick up much of the cost of Cheney's hunting hobby."
posted by ericb at 10:48 PM on February 18, 2006

Another Myth-busting report. This one concludes that Whittingdon was probably shot at 20 to 30 yards distance.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:03 PM on February 19, 2006

i've heard it was more like 20 feet, based on the spray pattern that hit him.
posted by amberglow at 9:54 PM on February 19, 2006

At twenty feet it would have blown him to smithereens.

Well, not quite, but it would have been one helluva lot worse.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:00 AM on February 20, 2006

...Second, was Mr. Whittington 30 yards away - as the Post reports - or 30 feet, as the Times reports? The difference is important. ...



Sometimes I ask myself: Who do I think is the most terrifying and repulsive of all of the politicians in the world? ... (Haaretz)
posted by amberglow at 1:08 PM on February 20, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Not to Go Hunting with Dick Cheney:

10. Jack Daniels
9. Makers Mark
8. Old Crow
7. Old Grandad
6. Old Forester
5. Jim Beam
4. Rebel Yell
3. Canadian Club
2. Southern Comfort

And the Number One Reason not to go hunting with Dick Cheney: Wild Turkey.

posted by ericb at 8:05 PM on February 21, 2006

Geez Jon Stewart just showed a clip of Whittington, fresh out of the hospital, apologizing to Dick and the Cheney family.
posted by Mitheral at 8:42 PM on February 21, 2006