Jungle love

February 15, 2006 8:01 AM

"This is the most tacky, tasteless, smutty, down-in-the-gutter tour ever created," Tollini told the 80 or so adults who piled onto two trams and devoted three hours to tales of fornicating felines and hermaphrodite ostriches. Big thanks to Tizzie at 9622.net.
posted by ColdChef (10 comments total)

She said tapirs are among the zoo's most well-endowed residents. One who answered to Jack once injured himself by stepping on his member.

"We soaked it in a tub of betadine for a couple of weeks," Tollini said. "It turned purple, then black, then it atrophied. Then it fell off, and he ate it."
posted by rxrfrx at 8:07 AM on February 15, 2006

A chimp with a shoe fetish and a tapir that ate his own penis. Awesome.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:07 AM on February 15, 2006

"It's his special fetish," Tollini said. "He'll put his finger out and touch the shoe. ... Then he'll play with his nipples, eat bananas and masturbate."

It's like they put a camera in my apartment.
posted by Gamblor at 8:20 AM on February 15, 2006

Zebras are reactionaries
Antelopes are missionaries
Pigeons plot in secrecy
And hamsters turn on frequently
What a gas-- you've got to come and see
At the zoo
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:24 AM on February 15, 2006

Birds do it
Bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it
Let's play with our nipples, eat bananas, and masturbate
posted by kirkaracha at 9:13 AM on February 15, 2006

Great article, thanks. I want to take my date there.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:24 PM on February 15, 2006

Now bannanas are going to turn me on.

Actually, I guess they walways did.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:50 PM on February 15, 2006

Astro Zombie's pinniped fetish is coming through.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:30 PM on February 15, 2006

Something's coming through.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:46 PM on February 15, 2006

What about the whelk? I ask you.
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:19 AM on February 16, 2006