Best Pervert Ever!
February 28, 2006 3:58 AM Subscribe
Fresh is best. "It's like drinking their youth."
Well yuck, but what exactly is the crime he's in jail for?
posted by biffa at 4:08 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by biffa at 4:08 AM on February 28, 2006
What biffa said. I'm also pretty appalled at the media publishing the full name and mugshot of someone who is obviously an individual in need of help.
posted by uncle harold at 4:20 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by uncle harold at 4:20 AM on February 28, 2006
Just ... in ... time ... for the ... morning orange-juice.
posted by RavinDave at 4:44 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by RavinDave at 4:44 AM on February 28, 2006
Oh, it works.
posted by dong_resin at 4:51 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by dong_resin at 4:51 AM on February 28, 2006
I've heard of being full of "pith and vigor" or "piss and vinegar," but....
posted by kimota at 5:11 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by kimota at 5:11 AM on February 28, 2006
Oh eew. This just has to be the first thing I read this morning...
posted by Meagan at 5:17 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by Meagan at 5:17 AM on February 28, 2006
Mayor, I'm sending you an email... nothing about urine sadly.
posted by Witty at 5:20 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by Witty at 5:20 AM on February 28, 2006
"Paging Morarji Desai ... Morarji Desai to the urinal please"
posted by kcds at 5:30 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by kcds at 5:30 AM on February 28, 2006
I feel run over. There was no warning this post was about something so awful. Yech.
posted by about_time at 5:32 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by about_time at 5:32 AM on February 28, 2006
No. Never. Not in a lifetime of depravity.
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:37 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:37 AM on February 28, 2006
On a scale from 1 to 10, urinate.
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:10 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:10 AM on February 28, 2006
Well yuck, but what exactly is the crime he's in jail for?
They might not have a name for what he does, but maybe they can show he is sexually excited about this stuff (if he is, of course). Even then, though, is it a crime to be excited?
In any case, hiding in a toilet stall and watching until a boy finishes peeing, then slipping out and drinking the stuff from a cup you've rigged under the short urinal, especially if you're already a registered sex offender, has to make officials nervous. There's a boy and a bare penis, there's a rapist peeping out of a toilet stall, and there's an elaborate scheme for fresh urine-guzzling involved. It's not like they're just going to chuckle and tell him to move along.
posted by pracowity at 6:13 AM on February 28, 2006
They might not have a name for what he does, but maybe they can show he is sexually excited about this stuff (if he is, of course). Even then, though, is it a crime to be excited?
In any case, hiding in a toilet stall and watching until a boy finishes peeing, then slipping out and drinking the stuff from a cup you've rigged under the short urinal, especially if you're already a registered sex offender, has to make officials nervous. There's a boy and a bare penis, there's a rapist peeping out of a toilet stall, and there's an elaborate scheme for fresh urine-guzzling involved. It's not like they're just going to chuckle and tell him to move along.
posted by pracowity at 6:13 AM on February 28, 2006
Well yuck, but what exactly is the crime he's in jail for?
Perhaps it's not a standard crime so much as some kind of violation of his parole.
posted by unreason at 6:18 AM on February 28, 2006
Perhaps it's not a standard crime so much as some kind of violation of his parole.
posted by unreason at 6:18 AM on February 28, 2006
Mayor Curley posts something reminding us that bad people are out there and think of the children? Unpossible!
posted by McBain at 6:23 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by McBain at 6:23 AM on February 28, 2006
Well yuck, but what exactly is the crime he's in jail for?
Voyeurism? He is listening to/watching kids pee.
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:24 AM on February 28, 2006
Voyeurism? He is listening to/watching kids pee.
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:24 AM on February 28, 2006
Mayor Curley posts something reminding us that bad people are out there and think of the children? Unpossible!
I hope you're NOT being facetious-- I only think of the children when I give thanks for cheap Nikes.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:49 AM on February 28, 2006
I hope you're NOT being facetious-- I only think of the children when I give thanks for cheap Nikes.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:49 AM on February 28, 2006
I could have gone my whole life without hearing that.
posted by delmoi at 6:59 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by delmoi at 6:59 AM on February 28, 2006
Balif, wack his pee pee!
But seriously. So the poor guy has this thing. The courts have ruled our garbage is abandoned and free game. How much more so our not-so-precious bodily fluids?
Bucha no, somthin has gotta be rong, so its ok to lock him up. Yup. And no, there ain't no complaint forms, not for pervs, anyway.
posted by Goofyy at 7:23 AM on February 28, 2006
But seriously. So the poor guy has this thing. The courts have ruled our garbage is abandoned and free game. How much more so our not-so-precious bodily fluids?
Bucha no, somthin has gotta be rong, so its ok to lock him up. Yup. And no, there ain't no complaint forms, not for pervs, anyway.
posted by Goofyy at 7:23 AM on February 28, 2006
And no, there ain't no complaint forms, not for pervs, anyway.
To complain about what? "All the jerks in this town who feed their kids asparagus," maybe.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:29 AM on February 28, 2006
To complain about what? "All the jerks in this town who feed their kids asparagus," maybe.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:29 AM on February 28, 2006
"...it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.
Maybe he's on to something here. If it's really anything like crack, it might just be worth a try.
posted by Gamblor at 7:43 AM on February 28, 2006
Maybe he's on to something here. If it's really anything like crack, it might just be worth a try.
posted by Gamblor at 7:43 AM on February 28, 2006
Balif, wack his pee pee!
Props to Goofyy for the Cheech and Chong drop!
posted by Thorzdad at 7:52 AM on February 28, 2006
Props to Goofyy for the Cheech and Chong drop!
posted by Thorzdad at 7:52 AM on February 28, 2006
If you're Italian when you're in Italy, and German when you're in Germany, what are you when you're in the bathroom?
posted by S.C. at 8:15 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by S.C. at 8:15 AM on February 28, 2006
what are you when you're in the bathroom?
Bathist?
posted by Thorzdad at 8:18 AM on February 28, 2006
Bathist?
posted by Thorzdad at 8:18 AM on February 28, 2006
S.C., that joke's all wrong. Fresh from the mouths of my mother's third-grade class, here it is in all its glory.
What are you when you enter the bathroom?
You're Russian!
What are you when you're in the bathroom?
European!
What are you when you leave the bathroom?
You're Finnish!
posted by booksandlibretti at 8:57 AM on February 28, 2006
What are you when you enter the bathroom?
You're Russian!
What are you when you're in the bathroom?
European!
What are you when you leave the bathroom?
You're Finnish!
posted by booksandlibretti at 8:57 AM on February 28, 2006
I'm sorry, why is this on MetaFilter?
A few doors down, there's a thread about Indonesian archaeology and the impact of global climate catastrophes on recent human history, if that's more your bag. Right next to that is a thread about jiggling boobies. Different strokes, I guess.
posted by Gamblor at 9:00 AM on February 28, 2006
A few doors down, there's a thread about Indonesian archaeology and the impact of global climate catastrophes on recent human history, if that's more your bag. Right next to that is a thread about jiggling boobies. Different strokes, I guess.
posted by Gamblor at 9:00 AM on February 28, 2006
"Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom."
Technical point: Don't old people use the child-level urinal too? Wouldn't drinking their urine be like drinking senescence itself?
posted by dontoine at 9:41 AM on February 28, 2006
Technical point: Don't old people use the child-level urinal too? Wouldn't drinking their urine be like drinking senescence itself?
posted by dontoine at 9:41 AM on February 28, 2006
In other news, the hidden-in-the-shitter guy got off.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:59 AM on February 28, 2006
posted by If I Had An Anus at 9:59 AM on February 28, 2006
Coulda been worse
"If you boys don't drink semen, you won't grow big," a Sambian elder tells prepubescent initiates. "You should not be afraid of eating penises ... it is just like the milk of your mother's breast. You can ingest it all of the time and grow quickly. A boy must be ... inseminated... If [he] doesn't eat semen, he remains small and weak."posted by Blue Stone at 11:34 AM on February 28, 2006
That's DISGUSTING. A normal, healthy man would only do this with women's urine.
posted by Decani at 3:21 PM on February 28, 2006
posted by Decani at 3:21 PM on February 28, 2006
And thanks for that link, Blue Stone. "Semen Warriors of New Guinea" is now the name of my new band.
posted by Decani at 3:22 PM on February 28, 2006
posted by Decani at 3:22 PM on February 28, 2006
Oui oui, the history of pee drinking.
In relation to the Patton case, maybe a good reason to know about this?
posted by nickyskye at 11:39 PM on February 28, 2006
In relation to the Patton case, maybe a good reason to know about this?
posted by nickyskye at 11:39 PM on February 28, 2006
The crime itself sorta is punishment.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:06 AM on March 1, 2006
posted by Smedleyman at 10:06 AM on March 1, 2006
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posted by nostrada at 4:04 AM on February 28, 2006