Are you ready for some Dominoes!

April 3, 2006 8:09 AM

Dominoes now on ESPN! What's next? Watching Solitaire?
posted by usedwigs (57 comments total)

Hacky-sack in the parking lot at Phish shows. Knife fights. Crap games in the alley. Gang bang record breakers.

It's a brave new world.
posted by jonmc at 8:22 AM on April 3, 2006

Blindfolded Darts.
posted by chuma at 8:25 AM on April 3, 2006

Chess?
posted by pax digita at 8:27 AM on April 3, 2006

It can't be any worse than the fat, pasty guys playing poker. It will probably be better.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:28 AM on April 3, 2006

Marathon ESPN-watching.
posted by Songdog at 8:28 AM on April 3, 2006

The dominoes scene in V for Vendetta is worth the price of the movie, and I'm not even a domino fan.
posted by digaman at 8:29 AM on April 3, 2006

The 2006 Hungry Hungry Hippos finals are gonna be off the hook.
posted by Simon! at 8:29 AM on April 3, 2006

jonmc, I'm sure once they get to launching ESPN8 - "The Ocho" your wildest dreams will come true ;)
posted by chuma at 8:29 AM on April 3, 2006

Marathon ESPN-watching.

This segues nicely into an idea I had for a reality show, which would consist of ten 'randomly chosen' souls on a sofa watching reality shows and bitching/raving about it. Every episode veiwers would get to vote someone off the couch. When this finally comes to fruition, the universe will swallow itself with a giant wormhole and shit itself out onto the pristine floor of an interdimensional living room somewhere.
posted by jonmc at 8:31 AM on April 3, 2006

Didn't the universe already do that and isn't his name George Saunders?
posted by OmieWise at 8:36 AM on April 3, 2006

I will swear up and down that I've seen Magic: the Gathering tournaments on ESPN2. No one else appears to have ever turned on that channel at 3 AM though.
posted by Ubiq at 8:40 AM on April 3, 2006

They've already televised "Magic: the Gathering" tournaments on ESPN 2. I honestly don't think that they can go any lower.
posted by Jart at 8:40 AM on April 3, 2006

I'll watch it just for all the "DOMINO, MOTHERFUCKER!"s
posted by carsonb at 8:41 AM on April 3, 2006

I wouldn't doubt it, Ubiq. I remember that for a brief period in the late seventies, Wide World Of Sports (ESPN's true antecedent) broadcast chess tourneys a time or two, resulting in some of the least neccessary instant replays of all time.
posted by jonmc at 8:42 AM on April 3, 2006

Televised poker is a guilty pleasure. Actually quite high on an uncomfortably long list of them.

Dominos.... maybe I'll get into it next season.
posted by NinjaPirate at 8:45 AM on April 3, 2006

Get these motherfucking dominos off this motherfucking plane flat screen tv
posted by lalochezia at 8:50 AM on April 3, 2006

ESPN is (or originally was) the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, so there's no reason they shouldn't show things that don't involve physical exertion. Of course, watching dominoes doesn't really meet my definition of entertainment, but I guess it's entertaining for the people playing.
posted by goatdog at 8:56 AM on April 3, 2006

I've actually seen chess on ESPN, at a sports bar in (I'm almost positive) January 1996. They did that chalkboard overlay and everything -- something like, "Kasparov's queen is poised to attack the bishop here." After that they cut to a rugby match, already in progress -- sort of a disorienting transition.
posted by Acetylene at 8:57 AM on April 3, 2006

boring
posted by matthewchen at 8:59 AM on April 3, 2006

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
posted by NationalKato at 9:02 AM on April 3, 2006

Electric Football.
posted by jefbla at 9:04 AM on April 3, 2006

What's next? Two guys playing catch.

Pound for pound, you just can't surpass the sheer entertainment of two scorpions in a brandy snifter. There should be a channel showing only that, 24 hours a day.
posted by Gamblor at 9:05 AM on April 3, 2006

Electric Football.

I'd watch that if they included high-stakes betting. Just 'cause I like to see wealthy people blow money on chance.
posted by NationalKato at 9:07 AM on April 3, 2006

Not my cup of meat, but then I think cooking shows are fucking boring as well, and those seem to attract lots of viewers. What the US really needs is more televised sheepdog competitions.
posted by mosk at 9:16 AM on April 3, 2006

Not my cup of meat, but then I think cooking shows are fucking boring as well

But sometimes the have ssssexxxy hosts, which makes up for anything.
posted by jonmc at 9:17 AM on April 3, 2006

I'll see your two scorpions in a brandy snifter, and raise you a cat with double-sided tape on its paws.
posted by jenovus at 9:18 AM on April 3, 2006

Can we compromise and have televised sheepdog-cooking competitions?
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:19 AM on April 3, 2006

nebulawindphone, don't be silly. Sheepdogs paws are ill-equipped for handling pans.
posted by jonmc at 9:24 AM on April 3, 2006

Rachael Ray is nice but she's no Nigella Lawson.
posted by bouncebounce at 9:25 AM on April 3, 2006

Blasphemer! Burn Him!
posted by jonmc at 9:26 AM on April 3, 2006

I used to work part-time at an "alternative" record store in New York. When times were dull, which was fairly often, sometimes we would put a cockroach and a waterbug (aka palmetto bug - a similar vermin to the cockroach, but larger, and it flies) in a bucket and watch the fight. The most entertaining thing about this was seeing about ten guys standing over a bucket and screaming, "Cockroach! Cockroach!" or "Waterbug! Waterbug!" depending, of course, on which way they wagered. (BTW, a word of advice - should you ever be in this position, bet on the cockroach.) This was well before ESPN existed, and little did I forsee that this could possibly be an entire SHOW! I'm planning to get right on it.
posted by Wylie Kyoto at 9:32 AM on April 3, 2006

Midget Tossing.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:35 AM on April 3, 2006

Honestly, why do we even have so many sports channels? All of the sports that anyone cares about are on the networks, where they can preempt the shows that those of us who don't care about whatever sporting event is going on are trying to watch. What they should have is a 24-hour shows-that-were-preempted-by-sporting-events channel.
posted by magodesky at 9:37 AM on April 3, 2006

magodesky, speak for yourself. There's not enough ice hockey on 'the networks.' Especially when you live in a non-hockey city.
posted by NationalKato at 9:57 AM on April 3, 2006

Wine tasting championship.

Staring championship (the first to blink or look away loses).

Scrabble.

Solitaire.

See, there's a lot of boring sports that haven't been covered.

And given the ratings tv gets on fucking GOLF, I'd bet each of these would be a success.
posted by qvantamon at 10:14 AM on April 3, 2006

Librarian taunting.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:17 AM on April 3, 2006

I used to work part-time at an "alternative" record store in New York.

Oh, man, which one? When I worked at one, employees just had sex in the private bathroom.
posted by 235w103 at 10:20 AM on April 3, 2006

Yeah, I still can't believe they show this yet never swimming. Sigh.
posted by dame at 10:29 AM on April 3, 2006

Metafilter flame-wars.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:30 AM on April 3, 2006

Your favorite sport sucks.

Seriously. There are literally hundreds of channels. Nobody gives a shit if you don't like poker, golf or dominoes. Shut the fuck up and change the channel, you whiny little cunt.

Oh, I forgot. You can't change the channel because you don't have a TV.
posted by I Love Tacos at 10:33 AM on April 3, 2006

qvantamon, you're behind the curve, I'm afraid. ESPN's been doing the North American Scrabble Championship for years.
posted by parliboy at 10:36 AM on April 3, 2006

All I can think of is that commercial with Samuel L. and Jackie Chan that ran during the NBA strike.

"Two guys playin' horse! It's fantastic!"
posted by dirigibleman at 10:49 AM on April 3, 2006

A few years ago, ESPN broadcast weekly sumo matches from Japan. I honestly miss those. I wish they would bring them back.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:08 AM on April 3, 2006

235w103: Don't remember the name of the record store but it was on Sullivan and we just called it "Al's House of B-Sides". No one wanted to have sex in the private bathroom because the sound of the hypodermic needles crunching underfoot was too distracting.
posted by Wylie Kyoto at 11:32 AM on April 3, 2006

Hackysack would actually probably be pretty interesting to watch.

Dominos, not so much. I do not think they'll get my eyeballs for that one.
posted by fenriq at 11:42 AM on April 3, 2006

What? No comments that dominos is a contact sport filled with profanity and the best trash talking on the planet, best played and enjoyed after a few too many beers? What the hell's wrong with you people?

Hell, I'd rather watch a good game of dominos at a BBQ or down at the park or something than go to a major league baseball game.

But then, I'd also watch some hack, too.
posted by loquacious at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2006

I'd rather watch dogs in a wide angle lens. I really would.
posted by psmealey at 12:18 PM on April 3, 2006

Monkey Tennis?
posted by punilux at 12:31 PM on April 3, 2006

I'd definitely watch Monkey Tennis.
posted by fenriq at 12:50 PM on April 3, 2006

What about midget rodeo?
posted by jonmc at 1:10 PM on April 3, 2006

Speaking of dogs, Nigella Lawson makes Rachel Ray look like one.
posted by loquacious at 1:41 PM on April 3, 2006

*pumps shotgun*
posted by jonmc at 1:42 PM on April 3, 2006

Nigella Lawson is alright looking but not quite close to Rachel Ray and that smile that could light up a city.

And Nigella is a bad name. It sounds like an insult to black people.
posted by fenriq at 6:19 PM on April 3, 2006

Staring championship (the first to blink or look away loses).

Big Train's best sketch...
posted by meech at 6:19 PM on April 3, 2006

Don't hassle dog trials. That's some good shit right there.
posted by The Monkey at 7:58 PM on April 3, 2006

I do miss the early days of ESPN w/Australian Rules Football!
posted by Todd Lokken at 11:34 AM on April 4, 2006

Giada De Laurentiis has both Nigella and Rachel beat hands down, fish firmly in pants.
posted by carsonb at 6:15 PM on April 4, 2006