light sleeper?
June 30, 2006 12:33 PM Subscribe
Operation removes lightbulb from anus. Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.
I read that as"Operation Remove Lightbulb from Anus", and thought it was part of a new military operation...
posted by das_2099 at 12:37 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by das_2099 at 12:37 PM on June 30, 2006
What a dim fellow.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:38 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by stinkycheese at 12:38 PM on June 30, 2006
Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the [lightbulb].
The writer should have said how many doctors it took.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:41 PM on June 30, 2006
The writer should have said how many doctors it took.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:41 PM on June 30, 2006
That's easy for you to say.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:43 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:43 PM on June 30, 2006
I guess in Pakistani jails they don't have that huge "DO NOT CRAM THIS INTO YOUR ROSEBUD" label on the bulb?
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:47 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:47 PM on June 30, 2006
He had an idea, but it was total ass.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:47 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:47 PM on June 30, 2006
*pulls out a cig* "Hey Fateh, got a light?"
posted by Mach3avelli at 12:48 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Mach3avelli at 12:48 PM on June 30, 2006
The writer should have said how many doctors it took.
Teehee!
posted by EarBucket at 12:50 PM on June 30, 2006
Teehee!
posted by EarBucket at 12:50 PM on June 30, 2006
How could you not notice as it was being...um..inserted? Must be a heavy sleeper.
posted by bim at 12:59 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by bim at 12:59 PM on June 30, 2006
"He swears he didn't know the bulb was there."
Uh, yeah ... that's what they all say.
posted by ericb at 1:01 PM on June 30, 2006
Uh, yeah ... that's what they all say.
posted by ericb at 1:01 PM on June 30, 2006
...I read that and thought it was part of a new military operation
I read it and thought that Milton Bradley was just desperate to reach a whole new demographic....
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:03 PM on June 30, 2006
I read it and thought that Milton Bradley was just desperate to reach a whole new demographic....
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:03 PM on June 30, 2006
You know, it is awfully dark in there.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:05 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:05 PM on June 30, 2006
I don't understand why this is such big news... my mom is a nurse, and if I'm to believe what she tells me then PEOPLE STICK THINGS UP THEIR ASSES ALL THE TIME.
She had a patient once who "tripped in his garage" and somehow his "pants fell off" and he "landed" on a broomstick.
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:09 PM on June 30, 2006
She had a patient once who "tripped in his garage" and somehow his "pants fell off" and he "landed" on a broomstick.
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:09 PM on June 30, 2006
C'mon now, perhaps his English isn't so good. Perhaps he misread the printing on the packaging which said: "This end up."
posted by Zinger at 1:11 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Zinger at 1:11 PM on June 30, 2006
This post is nothing without pictures.
Last story like this I saw came with the Xray. Fortunately the bulb base was facing out, and they removed it by screwing on a socket and pulling.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:12 PM on June 30, 2006
Last story like this I saw came with the Xray. Fortunately the bulb base was facing out, and they removed it by screwing on a socket and pulling.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:12 PM on June 30, 2006
But wouldn't the light bulb shatter if he sat down? It sounds like something out of the movie Saw.
posted by tastybrains at 1:12 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by tastybrains at 1:12 PM on June 30, 2006
To be honest, while not having played this particular game, I wiled away many an hour in my formative years playing "Who can get this action figure furthest inside their mouth and still be able to get it out again?"
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:14 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:14 PM on June 30, 2006
Fire in the hole!
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:14 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:14 PM on June 30, 2006
There's an image of the lightbulb inside the patient. I presume the headline is miswritten; the bulb looks stuck in his rectum, not his anus. Please, please don't put breakable or losable objects in your rectum.
posted by Nelson at 1:16 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Nelson at 1:16 PM on June 30, 2006
Maybe the guy was just lonely. I mean, Tom Hanks had Wilson.
posted by itchylick at 1:17 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by itchylick at 1:17 PM on June 30, 2006
He should have gotten one of these. (That thread is pure gold)
posted by IronLizard at 1:18 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by IronLizard at 1:18 PM on June 30, 2006
"Prison authorities are deciding whether to charge him for having his tail light out."
Kevin Eubanks plays a chord and groans.
posted by horsewithnoname at 1:19 PM on June 30, 2006
Kevin Eubanks plays a chord and groans.
posted by horsewithnoname at 1:19 PM on June 30, 2006
There's an image of the lightbulb inside the patient. I presume the headline is miswritten; the bulb looks stuck in his rectum, not his anus. Please, please don't put breakable or losable objects in your rectum.
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.
posted by beegull at 1:20 PM on June 30, 2006
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.
posted by beegull at 1:20 PM on June 30, 2006
There is a crack, a crack in everything...
That's how the light gets in.
posted by gigawhat? at 1:39 PM on June 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
That's how the light gets in.
posted by gigawhat? at 1:39 PM on June 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
This guy really puts the "in can" in incandescent.
posted by crashlanding at 1:41 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by crashlanding at 1:41 PM on June 30, 2006
I read that as"Operation Remove Lightbulb from Anus", and thought it was part of a new military operation...
Hmm. . . Dubya's next project = "Operation Remove Head From Anus"? Now there's something I could get behind.
posted by veggieboy at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2006
Hmm. . . Dubya's next project = "Operation Remove Head From Anus"? Now there's something I could get behind.
posted by veggieboy at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2006
Until the test results come in, he won't know if he caught the Clapper.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:43 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:43 PM on June 30, 2006
People with their head up their ass shouldn't get any bright ideas.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:47 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:47 PM on June 30, 2006
"I asked for a Bud light."
posted by kirkaracha at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by kirkaracha at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2006
LarryC - you're my hero.
Good old human compassion. Yay Farkfilter!
posted by swerdloff at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2006
Good old human compassion. Yay Farkfilter!
posted by swerdloff at 1:53 PM on June 30, 2006
Fateh awoke with
lightbulb where sun does not shine;
yet still blind to past
posted by found missing at 1:54 PM on June 30, 2006
lightbulb where sun does not shine;
yet still blind to past
posted by found missing at 1:54 PM on June 30, 2006
It can't be wrongposted by kirkaracha at 1:54 PM on June 30, 2006
When it feels so right
'Cause you
You light up my life
Good thing there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
posted by Skygazer at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Skygazer at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2006
I've had light bulbs break in my with gentle handling. How do you cram a lightbulb up someone's ass (sans lube) without a) waking them up and b) breaking it in their butthole?
I hope the prison authorities can shed some light on this.
posted by zerokey at 2:06 PM on June 30, 2006
I hope the prison authorities can shed some light on this.
posted by zerokey at 2:06 PM on June 30, 2006
Nurse, there I was, sleepwalking in a Lamps Plus store sans pants, then you wouldn't believe what happened....
posted by mathowie at 2:10 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by mathowie at 2:10 PM on June 30, 2006
Removing his sunglasses The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before..
posted by Skygazer at 2:16 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by Skygazer at 2:16 PM on June 30, 2006
I bet you lot think the sun shines out of your arses, don't you?
On a more scary note, perhaps the Pakistani police were reading reports of events at a certain Iraqi prison but didn't have access to chemical glowsticks
/morally questionable.
posted by longbaugh at 2:24 PM on June 30, 2006
On a more scary note, perhaps the Pakistani police were reading reports of events at a certain Iraqi prison but didn't have access to chemical glowsticks
/morally questionable.
posted by longbaugh at 2:24 PM on June 30, 2006
Like Robot Johnny's mom, I worked in a hospital once, and one of the radiologists had kept a film of a guy with a perfume bottle up the butt. He had been trying to put on his pants, and slipped and landed on his wife's dresser.
posted by hamfisted at 2:26 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by hamfisted at 2:26 PM on June 30, 2006
Just imagine being that one-in-a-million poor bastard who actually DID slip and land on something pointy. It must have happened to someone...
Boy he must have got sick of hearing "of course I believe you..."
posted by yoink at 2:34 PM on June 30, 2006
Boy he must have got sick of hearing "of course I believe you..."
posted by yoink at 2:34 PM on June 30, 2006
Put a telephone in your butt
Say, put some dust in your butt
Say "it's a must" in your butt
Say, pizza crust in your butt
Say, put a telephone in your butt
Put a dinosaur bone in your butt
Put a radiator in your butt
I'll say "see you later" in your butt
Put an alligator in your butt
Say, put some money in your butt
Sure feels real funny in your butt
Say, squeeze it, please it, but don't tease it
Put it in your butt
Well, let me just say
Put a hot cup of Brim
Fill it to the rim
And put it in your butt
To the beat
Two sugars, stuff so sweet
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:36 PM on June 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
Say, put some dust in your butt
Say "it's a must" in your butt
Say, pizza crust in your butt
Say, put a telephone in your butt
Put a dinosaur bone in your butt
Put a radiator in your butt
I'll say "see you later" in your butt
Put an alligator in your butt
Say, put some money in your butt
Sure feels real funny in your butt
Say, squeeze it, please it, but don't tease it
Put it in your butt
Well, let me just say
Put a hot cup of Brim
Fill it to the rim
And put it in your butt
To the beat
Two sugars, stuff so sweet
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:36 PM on June 30, 2006 [1 favorite]
It was intended for Bush.
posted by brain_drain at 2:49 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by brain_drain at 2:49 PM on June 30, 2006
"Light bulbs are seen at a museum in Idaho in a 2004 file photo."
I don't know what followup comment I should post for this.
posted by forwebsites at 3:07 PM on June 30, 2006
I don't know what followup comment I should post for this.
posted by forwebsites at 3:07 PM on June 30, 2006
I too thought this was a snark by the liberal media about president bush and his "plans" to remove the troops from Iraq.
(plans is in quoteation marks because I dont believe he has any plans; just like his "plans" do discontinue that illegal torture facility called "gitmo")
posted by subaruwrx at 3:27 PM on June 30, 2006
(plans is in quoteation marks because I dont believe he has any plans; just like his "plans" do discontinue that illegal torture facility called "gitmo")
posted by subaruwrx at 3:27 PM on June 30, 2006
What's the problem? I thought the whole point of light bulbs was to put them where the sun doesn't shine.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:09 PM on June 30, 2006 [2 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:09 PM on June 30, 2006 [2 favorites]
Well, damn that thing's worth at least a pack o' smokes and a bitch-boy. He had to smuggle it in somehow.
posted by zoogleplex at 4:37 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by zoogleplex at 4:37 PM on June 30, 2006
It wasn't the sun shining outta his ass, but it sure was enough to read by.
(badoom, tish!)
(Sorry...)
posted by ninazer0 at 5:30 PM on June 30, 2006
(badoom, tish!)
(Sorry...)
posted by ninazer0 at 5:30 PM on June 30, 2006
How many lightbulbs does it take to change an arsehole?
posted by milkwood at 6:28 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by milkwood at 6:28 PM on June 30, 2006
My guess after being gang raped in prision, sticking a light bulb up his own ass was not that crazy.
Quote from Midnight Express (1978)
Billy Hayes: [voiceover] To the Turks, everything is "shurla burla", which means "like this, like that". You never know what will happen. All foreigners are "ayip", they're considered dirty. So is homosexuality, it's a big crime here, but most of them do it every chance they get. There are about thousand things that are "ayip", for instance, you can stab or shoot somebody below the waist but not above because that's intent to kill. So everyone runs around stabbing everyone else in the ass. That's what they call Turkish revenge. I know it must all sound crazy to you, but this place is crazy.
posted by xtian at 8:15 PM on June 30, 2006
Quote from Midnight Express (1978)
Billy Hayes: [voiceover] To the Turks, everything is "shurla burla", which means "like this, like that". You never know what will happen. All foreigners are "ayip", they're considered dirty. So is homosexuality, it's a big crime here, but most of them do it every chance they get. There are about thousand things that are "ayip", for instance, you can stab or shoot somebody below the waist but not above because that's intent to kill. So everyone runs around stabbing everyone else in the ass. That's what they call Turkish revenge. I know it must all sound crazy to you, but this place is crazy.
posted by xtian at 8:15 PM on June 30, 2006
it's all perfectly obvious to me ... his roommate thought the light was too bright and wanted one of those amber colored ones
posted by pyramid termite at 8:33 PM on June 30, 2006
posted by pyramid termite at 8:33 PM on June 30, 2006
This thread cracks me up.
posted by blue shadows at 3:03 AM on July 1, 2006
posted by blue shadows at 3:03 AM on July 1, 2006
More camp than x-ray, though.
posted by flabdablet at 3:08 AM on July 1, 2006
posted by flabdablet at 3:08 AM on July 1, 2006
brown (hah) pau wins.
That's what I get for doing a Command-F for "brown" to see if anyone had posted brown out yet.
posted by emelenjr at 5:45 AM on July 1, 2006
That's what I get for doing a Command-F for "brown" to see if anyone had posted brown out yet.
posted by emelenjr at 5:45 AM on July 1, 2006
must be a light sleeper
posted by baker dave at 4:39 AM on July 2, 2006
posted by baker dave at 4:39 AM on July 2, 2006
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