If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find his snakedumb black-arts maggot, maybe you can hire Jean-Jacques

August 1, 2006 6:35 AM

The many lives of Jean-Jacques de Mesterton: A simple-minded hack for FOX News, a soldier of fortune, or perhaps something much, much more sinister?
posted by Blazecock Pileon (31 comments total)

I see some definite anomalies on this facade.
posted by unSane at 6:39 AM on August 1, 2006

Gracious, that's quite the, um, page on Mesterton's more serpentine qualities. Where do I find this "locate the snake" filter on my copy of Photoshop?
posted by Zinger at 6:46 AM on August 1, 2006

That's nothing. Look at the homepage.
posted by staggernation at 6:47 AM on August 1, 2006

Definitely an appropriate use of the batshitinsane tag.
posted by TedW at 6:51 AM on August 1, 2006

I'm sorry, but this...analysis...gets get points in a Louis Wain/David Icke/Francis E. Dec, Esq. sort of way...but it isn't "Best of the Web".
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:53 AM on August 1, 2006

*head explodes*
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:53 AM on August 1, 2006

Sounds like David Ickes strikes again!
posted by parmanparman at 6:56 AM on August 1, 2006

I wonder what David Icke would have to say about that!
posted by clevershark at 6:57 AM on August 1, 2006

d'oh!
posted by clevershark at 6:58 AM on August 1, 2006

"THE QUESTION IS OFCOURSE HOW LONG HAS HE HAD THE SNAKE-BLACK ARTS MAGGOT ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD"


WELL?!?!? HOW LONG!??!?!?!!!
posted by beerbajay at 7:08 AM on August 1, 2006

Ha, parmanparman's Wikipedia link includes Icke's wonderful disclaimer: "Icke has strongly denied that he is an anti-Semite, stressing that the Rothschilds are reptiles, not Jews."

Oh, OK, now I get it.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:15 AM on August 1, 2006

The key to locating the snakes on the pictures is to never, ever get tricked into taking your anti-psychotic medications by the snakes.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:16 AM on August 1, 2006

Ride the snake! (.avi)
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:21 AM on August 1, 2006

Thanks parmanparman for the David Icke link. I had forgotten about him, and I didn't quite realize the anti-semitic (or anti-reptilian) slant to his beliefs. I do remember that he likes purple (as does Prince of course, but for other reasons) and it gladdens me to learn that now he's taking mind-expanding substances...
posted by ob at 7:27 AM on August 1, 2006

What would happen if said snakes were to get onto a plane, I wonder...
posted by ob at 7:28 AM on August 1, 2006

Snakes on the Brain
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:28 AM on August 1, 2006

It's always struck me as quite the stretch to say that Icke is an anti-semite. But then there do seem to be people whose job it is to dig up anti-semitic "code" just about everywhere. I read Jon Ronson's "Adventures with Extremists" in which Ronson, who was questioning the ADL's labelling of Icke as anti-semitic, was basically threatened with the anti-semitic label by an ADL representative.

The kicker is, Ronson is himself Jewish. Also from the tone of the book one senses that Ronson got a warmer reception from Islamic fundamentalists and senior KKK members than he did from the ADL.
posted by clevershark at 7:34 AM on August 1, 2006

DO U SEE HIS SLIT EYES-REPTILIAN AND BLACK ARTS SNAKE-MAGGOT AREA AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD?

I u do u r a snake lol.
posted by kosem at 7:40 AM on August 1, 2006

The person running the crazy snake page is like an evil version of Dr. Bronner, z"l.
posted by kosem at 7:50 AM on August 1, 2006

Ronson is one of my favorite nonfiction writers. I highly recommend Them: Adventures With Extremists and The Men Who Stare at Goats to anyone who's ever enjoyed a "batshitinsane" thread like this one.

The scary thing about the second book is that most of the batshitinsane people featured therein about are actually influential members of the U.S. intelligence community and military.
posted by staggernation at 7:51 AM on August 1, 2006

Sorry, here's the US edition of Them.
posted by staggernation at 7:53 AM on August 1, 2006

Check out Wiolawa's bio. Good god, she apparently teaches children.
posted by purephase at 8:01 AM on August 1, 2006

Ah yes, I remember this nut. Phil Plait (the Bad Astronomer) had a run-in with her a few weeks ago, and it turns out that Phil's a lizard too.
posted by infidelpants at 8:22 AM on August 1, 2006

iirc, Icke claims that the Queen of England, Tony Blair and Dick Cheney are all reptiles. I don't think he's anti-semitic. He's just really, really crazy.

On second thought, Cheney could be a reptile in human form.
posted by ryoshu at 8:55 AM on August 1, 2006

This thread is worth it for the links to Them. I heard this book reviewed on NPR when it first came out and have been looking for it ever since, but couldn't remember the title or author. Thanks, staggernation!
posted by TedW at 9:00 AM on August 1, 2006

Aaah. The mad snake woman. Never get tired of her. It's bloody lucky that Photoshop's edge-detection filter CAN REVEAL THE ALIENS AMONG US
posted by blag at 9:16 AM on August 1, 2006

Jon Ronson also writes a weekly column in the Guardian
posted by blag at 9:17 AM on August 1, 2006

Man I absolutely love USING SOLARIZE and "find EDGES" to tell IF MY NEIGHbors are LIZARD aliens.

I can just picture her in a room lit with dim CRT with her crazy face inches away from the screen, skidding her sweat-damp mouse over poorly photocopied declassified documents, muttering to herself, "Yeah....this is great.....I've got you now you SONOFABITCH."

Then again, I'm a giant lizard and have already bored into her brain with my weather/mind control device. It's not pretty in there.
posted by quite unimportant at 9:51 AM on August 1, 2006

C'est la V...


posted by cenoxo at 10:09 AM on August 1, 2006

This sort of thing just clogs up the Internet tubes with great clumps of crazy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:25 AM on August 1, 2006

OMG, you just know that means Sen. Stevens won't be receiving his internet in a timely manner.
posted by clevershark at 10:31 AM on August 1, 2006