bing, bang, boing and more fun from the 70s

September 10, 2006 7:10 AM

1970s toy commercials. From an era when things were more fun, cool, and fresh. Whether you were a hipster or a genius type, there was some creative and smart toy to be had. Many toys were educational and prepared you for the vicissitudes of adulthood. (YouTube alert!)
posted by madamjujujive (43 comments total)

excellent!
posted by jonson at 7:21 AM on September 10, 2006

So I'm guessing the way that one contraption actually worked was it scattered ball bearings all over your house and pissed your parents off when they stepped on them. Which, all told, was probably far more entertaining than getting them in the little bucket.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:24 AM on September 10, 2006

As testament to the enduring power of advertising, I'm now scanning ebay for a copy of Masterpiece.
posted by eddydamascene at 7:35 AM on September 10, 2006

My brothers and I had more of these toys than I realized at first.

I'm also a little abashed at how many of the commercials I remember verbatim.
posted by briank at 7:47 AM on September 10, 2006

Big fun! What a hoot! Thanks!

(Oh, and I want a Bing Bang Boing).
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:48 AM on September 10, 2006

eddydamascene, did you ever actually play Masterpiece? It was -- OK.

Is it just me, or was that Water Wiggler disturbingly phallic?
posted by maudlin at 7:50 AM on September 10, 2006

eddydamascene, did you ever actually play Masterpiece? It was -- OK.

As testament to the enduring power of peer pressure, I'm no longer scanning ebay for a copy of Masterpiece.
posted by eddydamascene at 7:52 AM on September 10, 2006

As someone who works for Hornby/Scalextric in the UK, I love these ads. Would love to see more modern adverts done exactly like this. The style is so charming.

(the Wham-o products are accidents waiting to happen. believe me; i had a Water Wriggle)
posted by lemonfridge at 7:54 AM on September 10, 2006

Oops, i had a Slip 'n' Slide, not a Water Wiggle.
posted by lemonfridge at 7:55 AM on September 10, 2006

And that "Swing Wing": pretty cool. Korean drum troupe Samul Nori (and others) wear similar long ribbons attatched to the head that they twirl as they play and dance. I think I've seen Chinese acrobats with something similar as well. Maybe someone from the Swing Wing company went to Korea and thought, hey....
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:58 AM on September 10, 2006

Yes, frightening how many of those I remember perfectly.
Especially Gnip Gnop...which I just this instant realized is ping pong, backwards.
posted by chococat at 8:36 AM on September 10, 2006

I didn't have as many of these as I would have guessed, but the SSP Smash-Up Derby was a big hit with me. Masterpiece was okay, too.

On the other hand, that Lazy Dazy commercial has freaked me right the hell out. I mean, it's something right out of a child abuse tape; you just know she's doing unto Dazy what her mother does unto her. "How *dare* you fall asleep while I'm talking to you!?"
posted by mkhall at 8:39 AM on September 10, 2006

Wow, commercials used to be really long.

I loved the abusive "mother" in the Lazy Dazy one.

"Lady Dazy, you suck! I'm putting you up for adoption RIGHT NOW! I should never have let you no-good father knock me up!"
posted by Jess the Mess at 8:44 AM on September 10, 2006

Maybe Lazy Dazy has a sleeping disorder.
posted by ColdChef at 8:51 AM on September 10, 2006

I'm partial to the slinky.
posted by shoepal at 8:52 AM on September 10, 2006

Is it just me, or are the two kids playing Gnip Gnop about to get up and kick each others asses?

Because I want to.
posted by disclaimer at 8:57 AM on September 10, 2006

"Hey good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later".
Mr. Microphone was the bomb.
posted by greasepig at 9:00 AM on September 10, 2006

When you pick up a funny bone...we'll hahahahaha! You'll just have to laugh!

Really fun for most everyone!

Energized Spider-man

Extra cars are one dollar each!
posted by furtive at 9:34 AM on September 10, 2006

Thanks madamjujujive! I had totally forgotten about the SSP racers - too cool. Of course, I now have the Smashup Derby song stuck in my head - "get 'em ri-cheer"!
posted by GoshND at 9:35 AM on September 10, 2006

This is a really great Youtube post, thanks.

Now, to the basement to teach my band to play the Smash-up Derby theme song!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:45 AM on September 10, 2006

Unsafe at any speed!

May the force be with you, and your children. Lucas wants your money, now!

Battlewagon, loaded with tremendous fire power!


Movieland Drive-in Theatre

Play n' Show

Heart to Heart Bear

Rock'em Sock'em Robots
posted by furtive at 9:48 AM on September 10, 2006

Awesome! And the swing wing explains where head bangers learned their banging.
posted by substrate at 10:13 AM on September 10, 2006

Cool post. Yeah, we had Masterpiece and never played it. It was on the bottom of the stack of games, under the games we did play (Life, Monopoly, Sorry, Chinese Checkers, are the ones I remember we did play). I can't imagine being the parent dealing with the Smash Up Derby, the parts would be everywhere.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:14 AM on September 10, 2006

I'm amused at how un-PC Lazy Dazy is. Can you imagine someone putting out a 'how to spank your kid' toy now?
posted by jacquilynne at 10:25 AM on September 10, 2006

I had this dude - Action Jackson

Anyone remember the bathtub scuba diver that you loaded fizzing pellets into?
posted by davebush at 10:44 AM on September 10, 2006

Loved Masterpiece as a kid but nothing beat my Vertibird!
posted by gfrobe at 10:46 AM on September 10, 2006

Anyone else notice Jodie Foster in the Small Shots ad?
posted by skammer at 10:51 AM on September 10, 2006

I just re-watched the Jodie Foster commercial. It's funny how most easily identifiable features of her face are her two front teeth.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 11:14 AM on September 10, 2006

Nothing like a non-drug-induced flashback to my youth to make my Sunday. I notice there wasn't much in the way of toy gun advertising by the 70s though you could still buy them in the stores. I still remember my Man From U.N.C.L.E. gun fondly, as well as some fairly realistic pistols that would be far too life-like to carry around today.

I'd buy a Wham-o Wheelie Bar today if my wife would let me, but I'd probably wear a helmet.
posted by tommasz at 11:33 AM on September 10, 2006

That Little Miss Echo ad is deeply, deeply disturbing.
posted by brundlefly at 11:45 AM on September 10, 2006

Had Masterpiece. Never played it because the instructions were gone and no one knew how.

These are excerpts from a Phoenix kiddie show from the 70s. The show means nothing to me... but the COMMERCIAL breaks instantly transported me back to the days of Lite-Brite, Hungry Hungry Hippos and "Cheerio-ee-o-ee-os"!
posted by evilcolonel at 11:52 AM on September 10, 2006

Screech! Even in the '80s, we didn't have toys that cool. Although we did have that "Tisket-Tasket, Flower-Blooming Basket" thing that I still - STILL - covet.
posted by katillathehun at 12:07 PM on September 10, 2006

Anyone else notice Jodie Foster in the Small Shots ad?

Given that it's in the title of the video, yes.
posted by hoborg at 12:07 PM on September 10, 2006

We had a Bing Bang Boing back then. I remember all the components with moving parts broke pretty quickly. Though, the drum pieces did last, which was all we really wanted to play with anyway.

We'd set up the (3?) drums to see how far we could make the ball bearings go. To test, we'd fire one ball to get the spacing right. (The goal, of course, was to replicate the cascading bing bang boinging balls as seen on TV.) Of course, when we tried to rapid fire them the result was usually ball bearings everywhere. Fortunately my hands were much smaller then, so it was easier to retrieve the errant projectiles from under the couch. Now adays
posted by bodega at 1:13 PM on September 10, 2006

*Now adays
/end_reminiscing
posted by bodega at 1:15 PM on September 10, 2006

Man that girl in the little ms echo commercial is an asshole.
posted by a3matrix at 6:11 PM on September 10, 2006

"Mego Presents The Star Trek Action Figures..."

"Superman...Batman...Spider-Man...and The Incredible Hulk are streeeetchable!"

"Superman with fly-away action and Jor-El, Superman's father, versus Lex Luthor and General Zod, Superman's arch-enemies!"

Mego Presents The Planet of the Apes Action Figures..."

"Great Pulverizing Punches! Fist-fighting superheroes are here!"

"This is Gotham City News. The Joker strikes again!"

"The Falcon, that great black superhero!"
posted by beaucoupkevin at 7:34 PM on September 10, 2006

wow. utterly fascinating and terrifying
posted by puddles at 8:00 PM on September 10, 2006

Wow. It's so weird. These commercials didn't look old back in the 70s! But they sure seem slow and dated now!

I want to know what the "fake milk" in the Milky toy was. They would never sell that toy now; you know kids would drink the stuff and someone would find a reason to sue.
posted by litlnemo at 4:25 AM on September 11, 2006

Oh, and the commercial I want to see is the Grow-Up Skipper one. Talk about weird. But it doesn't seem to be on YouTube.
posted by litlnemo at 4:28 AM on September 11, 2006

Anyone remember the bathtub scuba diver that you loaded fizzing pellets into?

My brother had one when he was 5. I remember it well, mostly because I stuck one of those fizzing pellets into my left nostril and it took many, many tears for the pellet to dissolve enough for it to come back out again.

Good times!
posted by seancake at 5:00 AM on September 11, 2006

Thanks to this thread I now realize what Gnip Gnop spells backwards (no, I had never figured that out!) and that I was not alone in putting weird things up my nose (but it wasn't as interesting as a fizzy pellet). Also I really wished I had known a kid with the demolition derby cars - I really wanted to play with those.
I feel I've had a full day.
Also thank you all for culling these from YouTube - I lose too much time over there, but as long as I'm just following links I should be able to keep from ODing (as in staying up all night watching old ads)...
posted by batgrlHG at 9:08 PM on September 11, 2006

Jesus, I can't believe I never knew that about Gnip Gnop spelled backwards. My head is hung in shame right now.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:40 PM on September 12, 2006