George: I've got rats in my tail pipe.

September 16, 2006 5:58 PM

Meet George -- 39, single, quirky sense of humour, looking for friends to chat with online. Last year, he won the Loebner Prize, to bots who can most successfully pass the Turing Test. More here from BBC. How long before we have our own Mefibots?
posted by amberglow (48 comments total)

or do we already have them here and just don't know?
posted by amberglow at 6:02 PM on September 16, 2006

Um.... Bevets?
posted by maryh at 6:03 PM on September 16, 2006

> I am a human called George.
How long before we have our own Mefibots?
> Hang on don't change the subject.
posted by Luddite at 6:05 PM on September 16, 2006

I must be missing something, but the logs from last years winner (scroll down) don't appear much more advanced than Dr Sbaitso; the majority of it is either very simple partial matches on key words/patterns, or pointless non-sequiter distraction tactics.

I'm also perplexed by the totally unnecessary wacky choices of sentances from the Judges.
posted by MetaMonkey at 6:09 PM on September 16, 2006

maybe George comes closer than most on average or something? (He's disappointing me so far.)
posted by amberglow at 6:11 PM on September 16, 2006

Ahem...
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 6:11 PM on September 16, 2006

George seems kind of distracted.
Great. It replied to me by the wrong name.
Now we're just volleying a DeNiro:
"You talkin' to me?"
posted by hal9k at 6:13 PM on September 16, 2006

I do think these are still a bit Policeman's Beard is Half Constructed, but George is pretty good in that range.
posted by dhartung at 6:31 PM on September 16, 2006

I am a human with soft skin
posted by aubilenon at 6:35 PM on September 16, 2006

That Confederate AI is really something.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:42 PM on September 16, 2006

I was thinking, you know, you could easily pass the turing test if you just programmed a computer to act like a STUPID human.
posted by delmoi at 6:42 PM on September 16, 2006

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down...
posted by furtive at 6:45 PM on September 16, 2006

I'll tell you about my mother.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:48 PM on September 16, 2006

Anything that announces it's a human is obviously not--they should fix that, maybe.
posted by amberglow at 6:53 PM on September 16, 2006

...aaanddd you killed it. Link's borked, George is dead, we can all go home now.
posted by disclaimer at 6:56 PM on September 16, 2006

I was thinking, you know, you could easily pass the turing test if you just programmed a computer to act like a STUPID human.

My plan was to just make it both stupid and really insulting. I'm sure it can't be that hard to come up with a general snark machine that spews out reasonably fitting bile for any given input.
posted by MetaMonkey at 6:57 PM on September 16, 2006

Astro Zombie: I can't believe nobody has made an okcupid test to determine whether someone is a replicant or a lesbian.
posted by aubilenon at 7:11 PM on September 16, 2006

Well, George is more pleasant to talk to than all you, fuckers.
Just kidding....
posted by c13 at 7:29 PM on September 16, 2006

Tried it, disappointed that it's not much better than the Eliza I played with in 1984.
posted by intermod at 7:34 PM on September 16, 2006

Is it that machine intelligence has become so much better, or has our online conversations that much dumber?
posted by todbot at 7:52 PM on September 16, 2006

ouch.
posted by furtive at 7:58 PM on September 16, 2006

The Turing test is worthless. I know humans who couldn't pass it - in person.
posted by slatternus at 8:00 PM on September 16, 2006

George: Hello.
Senor Biggles: Hey ther.
George: You must have me mistaken for someone else.
Senor Biggles: No, I meant 'hey there'
George: You said Steve is a computer.

Very impressive! George passes the drunk Turing test!
posted by senor biggles at 8:04 PM on September 16, 2006

Am I doing it wrong? Because with my dsl it just it just keeps me waaaaaiting and never answers me, which makes me sad and frustrated and pissed off, and then I will LASH OUT pointlessly at innocent parties and feel remorseful later.
posted by longsleeves at 8:25 PM on September 16, 2006

you could easily pass the turing test if you just programmed a computer to act like a STUPID human.

You might do better if you programmed it to talk like Mojo Jojo.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:30 PM on September 16, 2006

Quothe George: "We're at the END of a stupid conversation."

So there you go.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:38 PM on September 16, 2006

George: Should I be talking to you?

Me: Sure, why not?

George: I don't know, really

Me: I would have thought you'd respond more intelligently.

George: Sorry if I disappointed you...


Indeed.
posted by darkstar at 9:08 PM on September 16, 2006

No computer will ever past the Turing test.
posted by Toecutter at 9:39 PM on September 16, 2006

ah, but will he meet me for coffee?
posted by brandz at 9:45 PM on September 16, 2006

You like to drink coffee, I see?
posted by Toecutter at 9:48 PM on September 16, 2006

Check out the brilliant line of questioning.

George: Who are you?

me: satan

George: Hello, my name is George and I am the human.

me: fuck that

George: Hi, want to chat?

me: hell no

George: Who are you?

me: satan

The the site hung. Is this a joke?
posted by bob sarabia at 10:46 PM on September 16, 2006

Then the site hung.
posted by bob sarabia at 10:47 PM on September 16, 2006

What's up, George?
I'm doing good.
Don't you mean well?
I disagree with that statement.
So you think it's proper English to say, "I'm doing good"?
Never too late to get new friends.
posted by emelenjr at 11:57 PM on September 16, 2006

I thought the turing test used a variant with restricted knowledge domain. like bots who pose as experts on shakespeare or chemistry and are only able to talk in a semi convincing manner over that single field. I vaguely remember seeing/reading(?) this being related to the reason some human beings failed it, because they had brought in subject experts and the tester thought the entity talking on the other end was "too knowledgable" to be a human.
posted by juv3nal at 2:17 AM on September 17, 2006

>Know any jokes, George?
Yes.
>Will you tell me a joke?
I do not know any jokes.

It's a machine for producing late '70's text adventures!
posted by Iridic at 5:52 AM on September 17, 2006

Fascinating. And how does immersing oneself in awe for the consideration of fornicating make you feel?
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:56 AM on September 17, 2006

George: You are annoying me, so I'm going to leave.

User: What the hell is your problem?

George: I have lots of problems, but whats your problem?

User: Yeah, you sure do seem to have lots of problems. Like leaving out apostrophes.

George: Thanks.
posted by Khalad at 10:04 AM on September 17, 2006

Does anybody besides me wonder if ParisParamus is a bot?
posted by pax digita at 10:23 AM on September 17, 2006

Me: You're starting to creep me out, George. Who am I then?

George: You're a chatbot.

maryh

Um.... Bevets?

It cracks me up that people seem to think they are making an original line here...
posted by bevets at 10:30 AM on September 17, 2006

thanks for the post, amberglow - but I have had trouble getting a response from George. Until I can reach him, I am just having a bit of a chat with John Lennon.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:11 PM on September 17, 2006

"For example, MIT professor Marvin Minsky -- known by his disciples as the father of artificial intelligence -- calls Loebner's prize "obnoxious and stupid" and has offered a cash award of his own to anybody who can persuade Loebner to abolish his prize and go back to minding his own business."

Salon Article about Mr Loebner and his prize.
posted by Sparx at 2:09 PM on September 17, 2006

Thanks for that link, Sparx, what a long, curious article. I'd always thought there was something funny about the Loebner prize, but never looked into it.
posted by MetaMonkey at 3:00 PM on September 17, 2006

This misses the obvious application, the human interface of a humanoid robot.

I'm a big advocate of the idea that the brain of a robot should be subdivided like the human brain, except that only the primitive brain, to direct its body, navigation, sensor arrays and diagnostics, should be in its physical body.

Its "midbrain" should be like an advanced, dedicated PC, with a WIFI connection to the robot. With terabytes of storage space and RAM, along with powerful microprocessors, this midbrain handles most tasks and two-way communication with people. Here is where you would find an AI like George. This would limit the range of the robot, of course.

Its "forebrain" would be a supercomputer system like Google, which would handle complex problems like judgement and safety, connected through a high-bandwidth Internet connection.

The reason they have not considered it for such a use is probably the artificial limitation that they would have to put such a space and energy consumptive system physically inside the robot.
posted by kablam at 8:23 PM on September 17, 2006

None of these conversations will ever be as funny as this one was.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 7:42 AM on September 18, 2006

He's on Nightline right now as i type--still not doing a great job tho.
posted by amberglow at 8:59 PM on September 18, 2006

A prestigious Artificial Intelligence (AI) prize has been won for the second year running by a British company.
posted by MetaMonkey at 3:59 AM on September 19, 2006

You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
posted by LordSludge at 7:17 AM on September 19, 2006

Me "Do you like bunnies?"

George "I like bunnies with ketchup."

Me "You EAT bunnies?!?"

It was downhill from there.
posted by rfbjames at 11:51 PM on October 6, 2006