Kids Korner: "Drugs are Nature's Hugs"

February 2, 2001 2:14 PM

Kids Korner: "Drugs are Nature's Hugs" The real reason you should be using drugs. (A public service announcement from Something Awful.)
posted by Steven Den Beste (8 comments total)

Double talk lives! Here's a cool announcement of the result of a procedure which shows promise. The headline says "Morphine spray more effective...". The body of the text compares the results of morphine injections against the use of diamorphine nasal spray, concluding that the latter is as effective for control of serious pain in children.

Damned right it would be, too. "Diamorphine" is a technical name for a drug derived from opium which is related to morphine but more powerful. It has many interesting clinical characteristics. It's also quite famous under its more usual name. If you want to see what they're hiding, here's a description of Diamorphine.

I wonder how many of the parents knew what their kids were really being given.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 2:47 PM on February 2, 2001

Normally I love twisted streams of pop consciousness but this just didn't do it for me. For example... Well, hold on... I need to get some candy first...
posted by teradome at 3:00 PM on February 2, 2001

Mmmm ... narcotic analgesics.

(Best Den Beste post ever!)
posted by sylloge at 3:18 PM on February 2, 2001

Here's another report of the same thing from Medscape. This time they obscure it even further under a simple description as "nasal spray". (Medscape is operated by the National Institutes of Health, in Atlanta.)
posted by Steven Den Beste at 4:39 PM on February 2, 2001

Diacetylmorphine is actually the correct name for this Candy. More and interesting information about it can be found here.I just can't figure out why this chocolate doesn't taste like chocolate, though. Hmmm...
posted by lizardboy at 12:31 AM on February 3, 2001

Finally, someone tells it like it is...
posted by Optamystic at 3:15 AM on February 3, 2001

Well, duh, Stephen. There's a reason Bayer trademarked the name. I mean, which are you going to remember to ask for at the pharmacist, diacetylmorphine or name-brand Heroin?

This always seems to happen to Bayer.
posted by snarkout at 4:11 PM on February 3, 2001

Hey Kids! "CHASING THE DRAGON--the practice of inhaling heroin fumes--can cause spongy holes in the brain, according to neurologists in New York."


posted by rodii at 5:06 PM on February 3, 2001