From an infection control standpoint, the perfect solution would be....

December 1, 2006 10:41 AM

How to Cough or Sneeze
see also coughsafe.com
posted by anastasiav (31 comments total)

Best germs ever.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 10:47 AM on December 1, 2006

As a long-time sleeve-sneezer, I feel tremendously validated by that film.
posted by brain_drain at 10:55 AM on December 1, 2006

Loved the germ noises, and the general cute tone.
posted by tula at 11:03 AM on December 1, 2006

It's about time someone exposed the hypocrisy of those self-righteous hand-sneezers.

(The panel of judges really cracked me up -- their reactions could have been pulled right out of my own head).
posted by treepour at 11:05 AM on December 1, 2006

You should always tell small children that if they don't close their eyes when sneezing, they'll pop out...
posted by cenoxo at 11:08 AM on December 1, 2006

*coughs*
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:12 AM on December 1, 2006

What do you do if you have to sneeze when you are in a bathing suit, or getting a flu shot, or taking a shower?
posted by melkozek at 11:17 AM on December 1, 2006

Enjoyable. Were the first two doctor panelists just the same guy in different clothes? They looked very similar. Also, the guy at the weight machine clearly was fake-sneezing because his eyes stayed open.
posted by jeremy b at 11:20 AM on December 1, 2006

I just got a cold for the second time this season. The first time was in late October.

So I guess it makes good sense, for me at least, that this was posted again.
posted by koeselitz at 11:28 AM on December 1, 2006

I like to sneeze into my double posts.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:35 AM on December 1, 2006

I'm feeling a case of double pneumonia, but until it goes away...

What do you do if you have to sneeze when you are in a bathing suit,
Sneeze into the crook of your arm rather than, like most people, into the palms of your hands.
or getting a flu shot,
Same. You have two arms, right? Or maybe not.
or taking a shower?
It doesn't matter, as long as you wash everything away.

The point is to keep your spit and snot off your hands and therefore prevent you from wiping it on other surfaces. If it's on your sleeve, everyone else is safe from it. (Except people who cling to your sleeve, and they deserve whatever they get.)

No matter what, wash your hands frequently and thoroughly, and get a flu shot every year.
posted by pracowity at 11:38 AM on December 1, 2006

I wish there were lessons in how to control sneeze volume, a talent I seem to posess uniquely. Any other quiet sneezers out there get annoyed with the seemingly boastful or boorish AAAACKCHEEEEWers?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:43 AM on December 1, 2006

I sneezed into my arm on the subway a few weeks back only to find a nice surprise on my sleeve when I was done. I've never seen two people vacate my vicinity so rapidly in my life. At the time I wished I sneezed into my hand to conceal the projectile more discreetly. I mean, I had to wipe the snot off my sleeve with my hand anyway. I couldn't just leave it there on my arm like a garden slug. Oh well. I've always been a sleeve sneezer and I always will be.
posted by yeti at 11:52 AM on December 1, 2006

I sneeze into my Daily News. Usually I try to get it on Mike Lupica's column. I do not hold back though...nothing hurts more than repressing the full energy of a sneeze.
posted by spicynuts at 11:54 AM on December 1, 2006

I've had a cough for the last three weeks, so I've been aware of this. I cough sort of down the back of my hand/wrist. It would be down my sleeve... if I wore long sleeves. I suppose I get points for not germing up the surfaces of my hands used to actually touch stuff, but lose it for not availing myself of the germ-dampening effects of cloth. There's no way I'm going to contort myself like the folks in that video, though.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:10 PM on December 1, 2006

The organisms whoose spread is supposedly being constrained are simply everywhere and unavoidable. I think it quite optomistic to think that this somehow reduces the chances of exposure. Its sort of like when you spend a day at the beach and even after you have left you find grains of sand everywhere.... asscrack, fingernails, hair clothes etc. Only multiplied by a factor of a literal billion. Sure, I buy the argument that it is polite, simply because microdroplets of cool snot hitting my eyeball is more intimate than I usually like to get with strangers. But I don't see how it has a meaningfull effect on illness.
posted by hatchetjack at 12:41 PM on December 1, 2006

I think it quite optomistic to think that this somehow reduces the chances of exposure.

Would you believe the CDC?
posted by pracowity at 1:11 PM on December 1, 2006

If you do cough or sneeze into your hands out of some misplaced notion that it's irrelevant to controlling the spread of respiratory illnesses, try not to be a complete douchebag by offering to shake hands with me.
posted by docpops at 1:14 PM on December 1, 2006

try not to be a complete douchebag by offering to shake hands with me.

Them, and the assholes who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.
posted by pracowity at 1:48 PM on December 1, 2006

But germs get onto the cougher's hands, and are spread to telephones, and doorknobs...

I knew we shouldn't have put all of those telephone sanitizers on the first ark!
posted by PontifexPrimus at 2:35 PM on December 1, 2006

Friends, it behooves me, on this fine occasion, to announce that this is a double.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:44 PM on December 1, 2006

flapjax, see the *coughs* above.
posted by brain_drain at 3:11 PM on December 1, 2006

Cool. I knew that Toronto was promoting this but I didn't know it was an international public health initiative.

I think it quite optomistic to think that this somehow reduces the chances of exposure.

Up until the 1980s the focus of medical study into rhinoviruses was basically treatment, like the whole Vitamin C controversy. What could you take to manage your symptoms? What could you take to make a cold go away faster? But the last 20 years have really shown that it's a matter of transmission as much as anything else. Even the extent of aerosolized transmission was unknown just a few years ago.

If we all change our habits a little bit, we'll have a great effect overall.
posted by dhartung at 3:18 PM on December 1, 2006

brain_drain, that was far too subtle for a lunkhead like me to catch, plus, I can't be bothered to follow each and every link to its logical conclusion, now can I? ;-)

BTW, I just thought of something: you and goodnewsfortheinsane should merge your account. Call it goodnewsfortheinsane_in_the_brain_drain. You might have to pay a user's fee to Cypress Hill, though.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:20 PM on December 1, 2006

Any other quiet sneezers out there get annoyed with the seemingly boastful or boorish AAAACKCHEEEEWers?

Oh HELL yes. In the cube next to me is a guy who lets out the loudest, uncovered AAAAAWWWWHEKHHAAAAAH possible, accompanied by an involuntary foot-stomping at the height of the sneeze. Every time it makes me flinch, prompting cartoonish images of the fine mist of particulates drifting over the cube wall. Ugh. My kingdom for some kind of plastic bubble dome...
posted by Vervain at 3:39 PM on December 1, 2006

I would give anything in the world to have a song titled, "Why don't we do it in our sleeves?"
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 3:45 PM on December 1, 2006

I'd just like to point out that fartsafe.com is still available.
posted by spock at 3:53 PM on December 1, 2006

When I was a child I forgot how to yawn. Straight up forgot. It was an issue because it's not something you can think consciously about and then try to do it, it just happens, ya know? Then when I was in my early 20's I forgot how to maintain, er, nevermind.
posted by trinarian at 10:16 PM on December 1, 2006

another retarded instructional video: Henry Wrinkler's THE HONK
posted by joelf at 11:42 PM on December 1, 2006

er, Winkler I mean
posted by joelf at 11:44 PM on December 1, 2006

Haha - at the end of the video they show a guy sneezing into his hands and then running to the bathroom to wash his hands. The problem here is that he uses his germy hand to turn on the tap, and then will use his newly clean hand to turn it off again.
posted by quietfish at 1:36 PM on December 2, 2006