Juice "Test Videos"
December 5, 2006 3:23 PM Subscribe
When are you guys going to start using the ballistics stylee for tampon ads? Seems like an obvious next step for a gun obsessed culture.
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:31 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by strawberryviagra at 3:31 PM on December 5, 2006
The best is the jello. Or maybe the mayonnaise. Like something out of a sci-fi movie.
posted by smackfu at 3:33 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by smackfu at 3:33 PM on December 5, 2006
Very pretty. But, not being a golfer, I have to ask: is there an advantage in really hard balls?
posted by brundlefly at 3:36 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by brundlefly at 3:36 PM on December 5, 2006
*realizes he's opened himself up to tons of obscene jokes*
posted by brundlefly at 3:37 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by brundlefly at 3:37 PM on December 5, 2006
why would nike name a ball after O.J. Simpson ("the juice") who spends most of his time playing golf?
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 3:45 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 3:45 PM on December 5, 2006
This will not go very well. Let the testicle jokes begin.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 3:50 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 3:50 PM on December 5, 2006
I thought my $5 membership would remove ads from Metafilter...
posted by blastrid at 3:51 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by blastrid at 3:51 PM on December 5, 2006
I thought this was going to be a series of videos with OJ Simpson testing different methods of butchering two people.
posted by bob sarabia at 3:53 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by bob sarabia at 3:53 PM on December 5, 2006
1) fuck Nike
2) Any golf balls will smash things if fired fast enough. What the hell is the point of this?
3) I too was hoping for something O.J related.
posted by delmoi at 3:54 PM on December 5, 2006
2) Any golf balls will smash things if fired fast enough. What the hell is the point of this?
3) I too was hoping for something O.J related.
posted by delmoi at 3:54 PM on December 5, 2006
The chimey sounds of the slowed-down bunny explosion are awesome in that Aphexy way.
posted by rxrfrx at 3:57 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by rxrfrx at 3:57 PM on December 5, 2006
why would nike name a ball after O.J. Simpson ("the juice") who spends most of his time playing golf?
...not to mention giving him an idea for a future murder weapon?
I must second the Pepsi Blue Balls, but watching the bullet-time destruction of the lava lamp was very cathartic (as I'm sure it will be to all of my generation), and the Jell-OTM demolition was genuinely educational (as is anything depicting the reaction of gelatin desserts to external forces).
posted by wendell at 3:57 PM on December 5, 2006
...not to mention giving him an idea for a future murder weapon?
I must second the Pepsi Blue Balls, but watching the bullet-time destruction of the lava lamp was very cathartic (as I'm sure it will be to all of my generation), and the Jell-OTM demolition was genuinely educational (as is anything depicting the reaction of gelatin desserts to external forces).
posted by wendell at 3:57 PM on December 5, 2006
The audio in the 'gumball' video is also pretty cool, but one thing I noticed: The audio is slowed down, but unlike the video there are no 'missing' waves. In other words, we hear what we would normally hear slowed down. I'd like to hear higher frequencies, like in the 200khz range slowed down to whatever.
posted by delmoi at 4:02 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by delmoi at 4:02 PM on December 5, 2006
What the hell is the point of this?
The point is, viral marketing. But, people will only pass this link around if the video is really cool, which it is--particularly the jello. I'm not saying I'll ever buy these golf balls, but now I've heard of them. I guess, mission accomplished.
posted by found missing at 4:13 PM on December 5, 2006
The point is, viral marketing. But, people will only pass this link around if the video is really cool, which it is--particularly the jello. I'm not saying I'll ever buy these golf balls, but now I've heard of them. I guess, mission accomplished.
posted by found missing at 4:13 PM on December 5, 2006
why do these golf balls have a podcast?
posted by boo_radley at 4:23 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by boo_radley at 4:23 PM on December 5, 2006
Can anyone tell me what the "USGA limit on IV" means?
posted by betaray at 4:27 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by betaray at 4:27 PM on December 5, 2006
Can anyone tell me what the "USGA limit on IV" means?
I believe that refers to one of the United States Golf Association's specifications for "conforming" golf balls. To wit, the initial velocity cannot exceed a specified limit.
posted by found missing at 4:44 PM on December 5, 2006
I believe that refers to one of the United States Golf Association's specifications for "conforming" golf balls. To wit, the initial velocity cannot exceed a specified limit.
posted by found missing at 4:44 PM on December 5, 2006
Stop encouraging these marketing slime-balls by posting their crap.
Flagged as noise.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 4:46 PM on December 5, 2006
Flagged as noise.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 4:46 PM on December 5, 2006
You know, they're not necessarily slime-balls. Adbusters is a great mag, but there are worse things in the world than clever marketing for benign products.
posted by cortex at 4:59 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by cortex at 4:59 PM on December 5, 2006
Slime-balls definitely violate USGA rules.
posted by found missing at 5:04 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by found missing at 5:04 PM on December 5, 2006
Oh no. The Blue has been sullied by a single link front page post linking to (entertaining) advertising videos. This has never happened before. Let us pray that it never happens again.
That said, the canteloupe video is awesome.
posted by noahpoah at 5:34 PM on December 5, 2006
That said, the canteloupe video is awesome.
posted by noahpoah at 5:34 PM on December 5, 2006
There is nothing clever about it. They're just shooting golf balls at things, and getting free advertising from people who should know better.
From an ecological perspective. Golf is hardly benign. The destruction of habitat to feed the voracious maw of the never-satisfied golf industry is becoming an endemic, world-wide problem, often in formerly pristine and isolated areas.
Often the epitome of conspicuous consumption, golf courses are incedible resource hogs. They are expensive, artificially-maintained play-pens for the rich. On an average, a golf course’s annual water consumption of 700,000 cubic metres is equivalent to the water consumption of 15,000 people. Yet prime areas for golf resorts are often found in deserts.
The raping of nature for the private enjoyment of the rich is something to be resisted, not encouraged.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:39 PM on December 5, 2006
From an ecological perspective. Golf is hardly benign. The destruction of habitat to feed the voracious maw of the never-satisfied golf industry is becoming an endemic, world-wide problem, often in formerly pristine and isolated areas.
Often the epitome of conspicuous consumption, golf courses are incedible resource hogs. They are expensive, artificially-maintained play-pens for the rich. On an average, a golf course’s annual water consumption of 700,000 cubic metres is equivalent to the water consumption of 15,000 people. Yet prime areas for golf resorts are often found in deserts.
The raping of nature for the private enjoyment of the rich is something to be resisted, not encouraged.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:39 PM on December 5, 2006
The destruction of habitat to feed the voracious maw of the never-satisfied golf industry is becoming an endemic, world-wide problem . . .
rofl
true , so true. fight the real enemy!
posted by nola at 5:44 PM on December 5, 2006
rofl
true , so true. fight the real enemy!
posted by nola at 5:44 PM on December 5, 2006
this post is but a single tentical of the golfing endemic, world-wide problem.
posted by nola at 5:45 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by nola at 5:45 PM on December 5, 2006
subtle-t , got a kick out of the "Will It Blend" link, thanks..
posted by WhipSmart at 5:47 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by WhipSmart at 5:47 PM on December 5, 2006
Man, I want to party with you, Pareidoliatic. You sound mellow.
posted by Bookhouse at 5:49 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by Bookhouse at 5:49 PM on December 5, 2006
I have nothing against golf in general, and there is a place for golf courses in many areas. The problem lies in unending development greed; which results in over building, encroachment in ecologoically-sensisitive areas, the run-off of fertilizers and other chemicals into the watertable, and the destruction of scarce habitat of endangered species.
Describing the industry as benign shows the same lack of attention to consequence that led to a drought and the complete closure of a tourist town locally this summer.
A tourist town in a coastal rainforest was shut down on a long-weekend in mid-summer, because of a drought. Think about it.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 6:12 PM on December 5, 2006
Describing the industry as benign shows the same lack of attention to consequence that led to a drought and the complete closure of a tourist town locally this summer.
A tourist town in a coastal rainforest was shut down on a long-weekend in mid-summer, because of a drought. Think about it.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 6:12 PM on December 5, 2006
as in all things, a grain of salt goes nicely with any dish.
i don't doubt that golf courses have caused eco damage. it's just , well, this is not your stop, you a couple o' blocks over my brother.
my reaction was at the strange jump off , from a crappy post to . . .The raping of nature for the private enjoyment of the rich is something to be resisted, not encouraged. well sir thats a long way round the block and no mistake.
anyway no real offence ment by my ribbing you.
posted by nola at 6:32 PM on December 5, 2006
i don't doubt that golf courses have caused eco damage. it's just , well, this is not your stop, you a couple o' blocks over my brother.
my reaction was at the strange jump off , from a crappy post to . . .The raping of nature for the private enjoyment of the rich is something to be resisted, not encouraged. well sir thats a long way round the block and no mistake.
anyway no real offence ment by my ribbing you.
posted by nola at 6:32 PM on December 5, 2006
Golf is hardly benign.
Please justify the comparitive ecological impact of the growing tech industry responsible for our ability to have this conversation.
posted by cortex at 6:42 PM on December 5, 2006
Please justify the comparitive ecological impact of the growing tech industry responsible for our ability to have this conversation.
posted by cortex at 6:42 PM on December 5, 2006
Someday, when you've become "the man" and like to golf, you'll appreciate all the efforts of golf course builders.
posted by smackfu at 6:44 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by smackfu at 6:44 PM on December 5, 2006
MetaFilter: Feed the voracious maw of the never-satisfied golf industry
posted by rxrfrx at 7:15 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by rxrfrx at 7:15 PM on December 5, 2006
I was hoping the next target would be George Bush's head, but then I realized "Juice" would just pass through it.
No chance for an interesting image.
"Will it Blend" was fun. Think they could do a Toyota, cut up in pieces first?
posted by melkozek at 7:30 PM on December 5, 2006
No chance for an interesting image.
"Will it Blend" was fun. Think they could do a Toyota, cut up in pieces first?
posted by melkozek at 7:30 PM on December 5, 2006
I'm really torn about this. On the one hand, it's a link to a piece of viral marketing for a Nike product to help you cheat at golf. There's just so much to hate in there. (And yes, viral marketing is always wrong. It subverts normal social interactions, and it treats people as nothing but carriers for advertising messages.)
On the other hand, those videos are fucking awesome. I can't decide if my favorite is the jello or the gumball machine.
Off the top of my head, I think a reasonable solution to this paradox would involve three basic steps:
1) An international socialist revolution...
2) ...which would free everyone to film all kinds of rad videos...
3) ...and distribute them over The People's Internet.
posted by moss at 7:59 PM on December 5, 2006
On the other hand, those videos are fucking awesome. I can't decide if my favorite is the jello or the gumball machine.
Off the top of my head, I think a reasonable solution to this paradox would involve three basic steps:
1) An international socialist revolution...
2) ...which would free everyone to film all kinds of rad videos...
3) ...and distribute them over The People's Internet.
posted by moss at 7:59 PM on December 5, 2006
These lunatic motherfucking golfing fuckers will only stop when they bring down the next fucking Space Shuttle.
Don't they know that in space, no one can hear your "fore!!!".
posted by strawberryviagra at 8:34 PM on December 5, 2006
Don't they know that in space, no one can hear your "fore!!!".
posted by strawberryviagra at 8:34 PM on December 5, 2006
Many good things are brought to us in bad packages.
It is my belief that the lemon jello mold video is one of them.
posted by django_z at 9:04 PM on December 5, 2006
It is my belief that the lemon jello mold video is one of them.
posted by django_z at 9:04 PM on December 5, 2006
I was surprised that the videos I was least excited about turned out to be the best, like the jello and the cake. Oh, and the ones that were Nike ads.
I want to hate this post (ya know, with the voracious maws and rich people raping this and that)... But that jello goes from solid to liquid, then back to solid. In mid-fucking-air.
I guess you found my advertising weakness, Nike.
posted by hutta at 9:09 PM on December 5, 2006
I want to hate this post (ya know, with the voracious maws and rich people raping this and that)... But that jello goes from solid to liquid, then back to solid. In mid-fucking-air.
I guess you found my advertising weakness, Nike.
posted by hutta at 9:09 PM on December 5, 2006
Losers are voting for the milk over the piggy bank...
Meh.
posted by Samizdata at 9:39 PM on December 5, 2006
Meh.
posted by Samizdata at 9:39 PM on December 5, 2006
I'm getting serious deja vu. Hasn't this been done before?
posted by chrisamiller at 9:47 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by chrisamiller at 9:47 PM on December 5, 2006
Usually it's done with bullets, which really don't work as well on video. Too fast and too light, and they don't slow down when they hit stuff. While this golf ball really makes some good contact with the jello, and has some serious cross-section. I give it an A.
posted by smackfu at 10:45 PM on December 5, 2006
posted by smackfu at 10:45 PM on December 5, 2006
Losers are voting for the milk over the piggy bank...
Aye :( - I want to see the spinning change.
posted by Chuckly at 1:03 AM on December 6, 2006
Aye :( - I want to see the spinning change.
posted by Chuckly at 1:03 AM on December 6, 2006
How dare Nike put advertising material on their own website. Those viral marketroid fucktards.
It's not like this is some faked shaky-cam thing on youtube where they just happen to use Nike golf balls.
posted by markr at 1:50 AM on December 6, 2006
It's not like this is some faked shaky-cam thing on youtube where they just happen to use Nike golf balls.
posted by markr at 1:50 AM on December 6, 2006
mmm...delicious exploding-jar-of-mayonnaise.
posted by braintoast at 6:40 AM on December 6, 2006
posted by braintoast at 6:40 AM on December 6, 2006
So, these balls -- they go in the mayonaise?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:46 PM on December 6, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:46 PM on December 6, 2006 [1 favorite]
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posted by subtle-t at 3:28 PM on December 5, 2006