Gee, it sure sounds an awful lot like I did it, doesn't it?

January 15, 2007 12:42 PM

"Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can't tell you exactly how..."
Newsweek leaks the critical chapter of O.J.'s scrapped "If I Did It" book.
posted by miss lynnster (67 comments total)

Did O.J. murder these links, too?
posted by NationalKato at 12:44 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Your links are borked.
posted by dobbs at 12:44 PM on January 15, 2007

Real link.
posted by graymouser at 12:46 PM on January 15, 2007

OH DAMN!!!!! It worked when I tried it. Try this.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:46 PM on January 15, 2007

img img img img img img img img
posted by Mister_A at 12:47 PM on January 15, 2007

Stop him before he links again!
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:47 PM on January 15, 2007

If the links don't work, we must just lurk.
posted by yeti at 12:51 PM on January 15, 2007 [5 favorites]

I swear on my Heisman trophy... it worked when I previewed.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:54 PM on January 15, 2007

So, he doesn't actually describe the murders? What a rip-off that would have been if the book had been published.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:55 PM on January 15, 2007

...when he regains control of himself, he realizes he is drenched in blood and holding a bloody knife...

Boy howdy! If I had a nickel for everytime I ran into THAT scenario!
posted by cavalier at 12:57 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Newsweek leaks the critical chapter of O.J.'s scrapped "If I Did It" book."

Appears to be just a description of that chapter. Has it really been leaked?
posted by koeselitz at 12:57 PM on January 15, 2007

If I read it...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:00 PM on January 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Where was O.J. headed in his white bronco?

Tuscaloosa. He knew the police would never look for a Heisman winner there.
posted by Nahum Tate at 1:09 PM on January 15, 2007

Spoiler alert?
posted by Haruspex at 1:09 PM on January 15, 2007

I promise I will not rest until I find the Real Leaks...

French Fry goes golfing
posted by French Fry at 1:18 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, they summarize it. Which is probably a good thing because really, who wants to read the whole thing when we could all be out golfing instead?

He parks in the dark alley behind her condo and dons the knit wool cap and gloves he keeps handy to ward off the chill on the golf course. He also has a knife in the Bronco, protection against L.A. "crazies." He intends to scare her. He enters through a broken back gate--he's told her a "million times" to get the buzzer and latch fixed--and encounters Goldman, who is returning the glasses of Nicole's mother, Juditha. She had left them at Mezzaluna, where the Brown family dined after Sydney's recital and where Goldman is a waiter. [...]

Simpson writes that his ex-wife came at him like a "banshee." She loses her balance and falls hard, her head cracking against the ground. Goldman assumes a karate stance, further angering Simpson. He dares the younger man to fight. Then, in the book, Simpson pulls back. He writes, "Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can't tell you exactly how."
posted by miss lynnster at 1:21 PM on January 15, 2007

The thing that makes me maddest about the whole OJ thing, selfishly I admit, is how his presence now makes makes the otherwise funny Naked Gun movies so creepy to watch.
posted by JWright at 1:23 PM on January 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

The thing that makes me maddest about the whole OJ thing, selfishly I admit, is how his presence now makes makes the otherwise funny Naked Gun movies so creepy to watch.
posted by JWright at 4:23 PM EST on January 15

True enough. In fact, I only knew of him through those movies, so it was really weird to hear that Nurenburg was in such deep doo doo.
posted by Busithoth at 1:37 PM on January 15, 2007

This is going to be the best book about killing white bitches since Native Son.
posted by The Straightener at 1:39 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

So, really, he was just there to talk, but crafty ninjas enveloped OJ in a haze of confusion, killed Goldman and Nicole in a split second and left the instrument of the crime in OJ's hand. Yeah, that's the ticket.
posted by clevershark at 1:40 PM on January 15, 2007

Recently caught a Seinfeld episode where Elaine was seeing a 'Joel Rifkin' - Browsing through a Sports Illustrated in an attempt to offer up some more mundane names, she happens upon OJ - 'Hey, OJ Rifkin sounds good'. he he.
posted by azlondon at 1:44 PM on January 15, 2007

Ugh, I hate him.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:45 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Busithoth, I think by "Nurenburg" you mean "Nuremberg", and I think by "Nuremberg" you mean "Nordberg."

Just a thought.
posted by nathancaswell at 1:53 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm generally not for mob violence, but in O.J.'s case I'd make an exception. Let's pass out the torches and meet in South Florida at 8pm.
posted by CameraObscura at 1:58 PM on January 15, 2007

It's been said before, and I'll say it again: the LAPD framed a guilty man.
posted by lalochezia at 2:01 PM on January 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

img tag please
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 2:06 PM on January 15, 2007

Mel Gibson shouted it was the Juice who was responsible for these killings.

When after all it was you, Hymie!
posted by hal9k at 2:16 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

The Psychopathy Check List.
posted by nickyskye at 2:20 PM on January 15, 2007

The thing that makes me maddest about the whole OJ thing, selfishly I admit, is how his presence now makes makes the otherwise funny Naked Gun movies so creepy to watch.
posted by JWright at 4:23 PM EST on January 15

I have long advocated that Dreamworks should get their CG people to work on digitially replacing Nordberg with Denzel Washington, so we can all go back to enjoying that movie.

Failing that, OJ should be executed by being strapped to a wheelchair and rolled off the upper deck of Dodger Stadium, which will be decorated for the occasion to resemble Anaheim Stadium.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:22 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Mel Gibson shouted it was the Juice who was responsible for these killings.

Careful, don't mention Kramer's racist rant or Martha Stewart's incarceration, or you're going to create some kind of stale-pop-culture-reference singularity that will cause the universe to collapse on itself.

Either that, or Jay Leno is going to call and offer you a staff job.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:22 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Good thing he's black, or he might have gotten away with it!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:24 PM on January 15, 2007

Well that does it, I am now convinced he's innocent.

posted by Outlawyr at 2:25 PM on January 15, 2007

Meanwhile, Newsweek is now guilty of running content that Murdox thought was in bad taste.
posted by Fupped Duck at 2:40 PM on January 15, 2007

We need to identify Charlie the heretofore unmentioned companion who must have done the killings since we all know OJ is innocent...
posted by Cranberry at 2:48 PM on January 15, 2007

Ok, so now O.J. is telling the media that he never said any of it, that it was all the fantasy musings of a ghostwriter & not a confession: "I'm saying it's a fictional creation," Simpson said Sunday in a telephone interview. "It has so many (factual) holes in it that anybody who knew anything about it would know that I didn't write it."

So wait... is he saying he knows the facts? Because uhhh... wouldn't the real killer be the guy who knows those?
posted by miss lynnster at 2:55 PM on January 15, 2007

In his crude, expletive-laced account, Simpson suggests Nicole all but drove him to kill her. He describes her as the "enemy." She is taunting him with her sexual dalliances, he says, and carrying on inappropriately in front of their two children.

Just wanted to point out that I was right.

I know, I know... this was a real no-brainer. But I rarely get to be proven right, so I'm bragging about it anyway.
posted by Clay201 at 3:06 PM on January 15, 2007

Hunh, I always thought it was Homer, not O.J. D'oh!
posted by DenOfSizer at 3:16 PM on January 15, 2007

It's obvious from the title of the book that he did it. Any innocent person would have used the subjunctive pluperfect: "If I Had Done It".
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:23 PM on January 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

A billion times NO! Let us all just say NO!

Let us not ever speak of, or contribute to, this terrible chapter in American media history again.
posted by tkchrist at 3:24 PM on January 15, 2007

OJ says "A ghostwriter wrote that book, and he made most of it up."
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 3:25 PM on January 15, 2007

Ironically, it was Nicole's ghost that wrote it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:36 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ironically, it was Nicole's ghost that wrote it.

Hy-OH! You are correct sir!
posted by French Fry at 3:47 PM on January 15, 2007

> Meanwhile, Newsweek is now guilty of running content that Murdox thought was in bad taste.

The most remarkable aspect of the whole episode was the revelation that there's a bottom of the barrel so low even Rupert Murdoch won't scrape it.

But you know, that probably means the poor old guy's day is over and he needs to step aside and let some younger lout without even that trace amount of taste take over. Say, what about OJ?
posted by jfuller at 4:05 PM on January 15, 2007

From Steven C. Beste's link:
"I'm saying it's a fictional creation," Simpson said Sunday in a telephone interview. "It has so many (factual) holes in it that anybody who knew anything about it would know that I didn't write it."

"Because," he continued, "I killed Goldman first."
posted by The Deej at 4:09 PM on January 15, 2007

Just in case anyone is confused, the "i killed goldman first" line from the deej isn't really in that article.
posted by mulligan at 4:17 PM on January 15, 2007

I'm mulling over seeing this posted on MLK day. So many levels...
posted by telstar at 4:27 PM on January 15, 2007

Does he mention the ugly shoes?
posted by A189Nut at 4:28 PM on January 15, 2007

jfuller writes "The most remarkable aspect of the whole episode was the revelation that there's a bottom of the barrel so low even Rupert Murdoch won't scrape it. "

Scary. I actually with jfuller on something.

jfuller writes "he needs to step aside and let some younger lout without even that trace amount of taste take over."

Maybe they can hire the kids from Growing Up Gotti.
posted by clevershark at 4:36 PM on January 15, 2007

d'oh! "actually agree"
posted by clevershark at 4:36 PM on January 15, 2007

mulligan, did you actually go and look up the article to see if that line was in there?
posted by shmegegge at 4:44 PM on January 15, 2007

Just in case anyone is confused, the "i killed goldman first" line from the deej isn't really in that article.

:: blush ::
posted by The Deej at 4:52 PM on January 15, 2007

0-39
posted by Kwantsar at 5:17 PM on January 15, 2007

"It has so many (factual) holes in it that anybody who knew anything about it would know that I didn't write it."

So wait... is he saying he knows the facts? Because uhhh... wouldn't the real killer be the guy who knows those?

Good point.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:05 PM on January 15, 2007

A chapter is leaked
And the public is freaked

But we take a peek
And give our critique
posted by amyms at 6:31 PM on January 15, 2007

the only interesting part of the story.

More surprising was what Goldman family attorney Jonathan Polk had to say. Polak's pursuit of Simpson to pay the $33.5 million judgment has been largely fruitless; he's now attempting to claim the money ReganBooks paid for the book. He said he will also attempt to seize Simpson's copyright to the work. "This may be the one opportunity we have [to collect]," he said.

is that even legally feasible or is he just talking bullshit?
posted by matteo at 6:53 PM on January 15, 2007

The thing that makes me maddest about the whole OJ thing, selfishly I admit, is how his presence now makes makes the otherwise funny Naked Gun movies so creepy to watch.

Are you kidding? If anything, this scene is that much more satisfying - it's the closest we'll ever get to seeing him get what he deserves.

I lose it when he leans against the freshly painted door and says "Oh no..."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:24 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Does he mention the ugly shoes?

You laugh, but it's important: In the book he says he had an accomplice but there was only one set of bloody footprints - matching OJ's Maglis - and so the whole "confession" is nonsense.

Also, just to be anal, Newsweek doesn't leak. They publish. People may or may not leak to Newsweek.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:00 PM on January 15, 2007

it's nothing short of astonishing that this book hasn't been leaked on to the net
posted by pyramid termite at 9:04 PM on January 15, 2007

His accomplice was his son...or so I was told by someone who said they knew someone who knew someone that told them they knew who really murdered Nicole....and that it was his son. And that that proved OJ was innocent of Nicole's murder at least. OJ, they said, did kill Goldman, but it was, "in self-defense." Honest! It was a co-worker of mine who "knew people in LA."
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 9:25 PM on January 15, 2007

(According to the source, he told the ghostwriter that he could not have his children read such gruesome details of the slashing.)

Nevermind that his children would be reading a book written by their father about murdering their mother. For fucksake, whether he did it or not, I'd hang him for that decision alone!
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 9:29 PM on January 15, 2007

Timothy Noah: I've been told that Simpson is a murderer by someone who's in an excellent position to know: Pablo Fenjves, the ghostwriter for the book containing Simpson's "hypothetical" confession, If I Did It. Fenjves taped many hours of interviews with Simpson in assembling the book...
posted by metaplectic at 10:34 PM on January 15, 2007

what is "img tag?"
posted by j-urb at 10:38 PM on January 15, 2007

Oh, snap!

"What do you have to do in this country to get yourself thrown in jail?"
Well, I guess that depends on who you are. For some people (who aren't O.J. Simpson), very little.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:42 PM on January 15, 2007

j-urb: The HTML <img> tag allows you to include images on a page. Its use was blocked in the comments recently, and some people miss the opportunity to add pictures to their replies.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:52 AM on January 16, 2007

"This may be the one opportunity we have [to collect]," he said.

Of course, to do that, the book would have to be printed and put on sale. Would the Goldman family really seek to publish the book in which Simpson, hypothetically or not, describes the brutal murders? Fred Goldman was noncommittal.

matteo asks: "is that even legally feasible or is he just talking bullshit?"

Legal or not, it's a character test for Mr. Goldman. I regret he wasn't vehemently committal.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:36 AM on January 16, 2007

So this OJ, he kills people?
posted by secret about box at 5:52 AM on January 16, 2007

The accomplice has long been rumored to be Al Cowlings, OJ's lifelong friend.
posted by thinkpiece at 7:26 AM on January 16, 2007