cheap cheesy local legends
March 14, 2007 12:57 PM Subscribe
The 50 (Greatest/Worst) Local TV Commercials (That Could Be Found On YouTube). A pretty good collection of weird, awful, hilarious, and just plain WTF local commercials.
Montgomery "Just Like a Mini Mall" Thrift Outlet- Check.
Eagle Insurance- Check.
I approve of this list.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:19 PM on March 14, 2007
Eagle Insurance- Check.
I approve of this list.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:19 PM on March 14, 2007
Been over three years since living in Chicago, and I almost had the Empire Carpet jingle out of my head... now I'll have to start all over again!
posted by evilangela at 1:22 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by evilangela at 1:22 PM on March 14, 2007
Peppertree farms gotta lotta heart...
posted by doctorschlock at 1:45 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by doctorschlock at 1:45 PM on March 14, 2007
1-800-54-GIANT...'Jordan's, No Longer Confused with Jordan Marsh...Main Street to Moody Street...left on Daniel Webster Highway'...'Bernie and Phyl's, Quality, Comfort and Price. That's Nice'....'My Name is Ernie Boch...Come on Down!'
posted by ericb at 1:46 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by ericb at 1:46 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Didn't we just talk about this a couple of weeks ago?
posted by grateful at 1:48 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by grateful at 1:48 PM on March 14, 2007
I can't believe they forgot Jack "The Hammer" Shapiro.
Responsible for words of wisdom like "Need an SOB? I'M YOU'RE SOB!" and "I SUE DRUNKS!"
I miss that man's commercials.
posted by champthom at 2:28 PM on March 14, 2007
Responsible for words of wisdom like "Need an SOB? I'M YOU'RE SOB!" and "I SUE DRUNKS!"
I miss that man's commercials.
posted by champthom at 2:28 PM on March 14, 2007
What the... fuck... was up with that Lincoln Auto Insurance commercial? I mean, they obviously had a bit of money for production. How did they manage to make a commercial that makes absolutely no sense?
...actually, a lot of these seem to fall under the category of "What the fuck were they thinking?"
I like how the "The Game Store" commercial was clearly not actually done in the store, unless it's a 5'x10' room with like 20 games in it.
...so far, my favorite one is Luciano's Pizza, with the guy in a suit delivering pizzas. "Hey y'all, here's y'alls pizza."
Mattress Ranch. Mattress Ranch. Who would buy a bed at a ranch?
The only one I really don't think belongs there is the GCO one. It's not like it was poorly done or anything. The band was a little strange, but I'm pretty sure that was on purpose.
Also, the BPR one was pretty great until the 500-pound owner of the company comes on screen.
The lack of commercials from my area is kinda saddening. What, no Howie's World? (The guy acts like a cowboy on furniture, then makes gun sound effects as he points with his fingers saying he, "Psh! Psh! Shoots down the competition!")
On another note, isn't the Norton Furniture guy who Senor Cardgage's voice is based off of?
posted by Target Practice at 2:31 PM on March 14, 2007
...actually, a lot of these seem to fall under the category of "What the fuck were they thinking?"
I like how the "The Game Store" commercial was clearly not actually done in the store, unless it's a 5'x10' room with like 20 games in it.
...so far, my favorite one is Luciano's Pizza, with the guy in a suit delivering pizzas. "Hey y'all, here's y'alls pizza."
Mattress Ranch. Mattress Ranch. Who would buy a bed at a ranch?
The only one I really don't think belongs there is the GCO one. It's not like it was poorly done or anything. The band was a little strange, but I'm pretty sure that was on purpose.
Also, the BPR one was pretty great until the 500-pound owner of the company comes on screen.
The lack of commercials from my area is kinda saddening. What, no Howie's World? (The guy acts like a cowboy on furniture, then makes gun sound effects as he points with his fingers saying he, "Psh! Psh! Shoots down the competition!")
On another note, isn't the Norton Furniture guy who Senor Cardgage's voice is based off of?
posted by Target Practice at 2:31 PM on March 14, 2007
nola
I went in there once.
Long story short, I'm suing them for false advertisement.
posted by Target Practice at 2:32 PM on March 14, 2007
I went in there once.
Long story short, I'm suing them for false advertisement.
posted by Target Practice at 2:32 PM on March 14, 2007
'Bernie and Phyl's, Quality, Comfort and Price. That's Nice'
Do you remember the one with Robert Parish? Bernie is talking to a conference room of suits about their "Zero down, zero interest" plan and asks how they can publicize it. Then The Chief walks in a just-not-Celtics-enough-for-royalties jersey and asks "Did someone say 'double zero'? Then they cut to the jingle.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:53 PM on March 14, 2007
Do you remember the one with Robert Parish? Bernie is talking to a conference room of suits about their "Zero down, zero interest" plan and asks how they can publicize it. Then The Chief walks in a just-not-Celtics-enough-for-royalties jersey and asks "Did someone say 'double zero'? Then they cut to the jingle.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:53 PM on March 14, 2007
I was just going to watch one page and now I can't stop.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:01 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by eyeballkid at 3:01 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
How on earth did they skip the "Great, Great House of Guitars?"
posted by Marky at 3:22 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by Marky at 3:22 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
I like the claymation House of Guitars spot better.
Did anyone else think, as they watched that first self-defense spot, "That's my purse! Ah don't know you!!!"
posted by evilcolonel at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Did anyone else think, as they watched that first self-defense spot, "That's my purse! Ah don't know you!!!"
posted by evilcolonel at 3:26 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
I clicked on the "comments" link intending post that I hadn't yet looked at the list but that I was sure I'd find the "Just Like A Mini-Mall" commercial there. Someone beat me to the punch. Alas.
I live in Montgomery and I've been subjected to this monstrosity on countless occasions. Worse, I've been to this "thrift market" place. (In fact, I worked for two different businesses headquartered in the same strip-mall). These are not people selling used furniture and old books and shit. Rather, its a bunch of sleazy retailers who can't afford actual retail space pimping extra-crappy furniture and knick-knacks and shit. You know, the kind of stuff they won't even stock at Wal-Mart. The only good part about it: a big courtyard/sidewalk area with rows and rows of bins and bins of dollar-tree type stuff at near dollar-tree prices.
In fairness to the mini-mall people, I should point out that there are three car dealers in town who insist on subjecting us to equally idiotic advertising. Oh, and then there's the funeral home commercial which featured the young (maybe nine or ten years old) son of the proprietors as announcer. Why these other fine specimens haven't ended up on youtube or Ellen, I couldn't tell you
One other note regarding the thrift market operation: it's on Seven Bridges Road. Yes, the Seven Bridges Road. It's called something else now, but it is, I'm assured, the actual road in question.
posted by Clay201 at 3:40 PM on March 14, 2007
I live in Montgomery and I've been subjected to this monstrosity on countless occasions. Worse, I've been to this "thrift market" place. (In fact, I worked for two different businesses headquartered in the same strip-mall). These are not people selling used furniture and old books and shit. Rather, its a bunch of sleazy retailers who can't afford actual retail space pimping extra-crappy furniture and knick-knacks and shit. You know, the kind of stuff they won't even stock at Wal-Mart. The only good part about it: a big courtyard/sidewalk area with rows and rows of bins and bins of dollar-tree type stuff at near dollar-tree prices.
In fairness to the mini-mall people, I should point out that there are three car dealers in town who insist on subjecting us to equally idiotic advertising. Oh, and then there's the funeral home commercial which featured the young (maybe nine or ten years old) son of the proprietors as announcer. Why these other fine specimens haven't ended up on youtube or Ellen, I couldn't tell you
One other note regarding the thrift market operation: it's on Seven Bridges Road. Yes, the Seven Bridges Road. It's called something else now, but it is, I'm assured, the actual road in question.
posted by Clay201 at 3:40 PM on March 14, 2007
Oh, and re: Stinky's Septic...
Don't know whether you noticed, but the tune for the jingle is very close to that used for the the childhood favorite "The Diarrhea Song."
posted by Clay201 at 3:46 PM on March 14, 2007
Don't know whether you noticed, but the tune for the jingle is very close to that used for the the childhood favorite "The Diarrhea Song."
posted by Clay201 at 3:46 PM on March 14, 2007
Vern Fonk is great and turns up in another very odd comercial with Corky - "living in a world of kindness".
posted by meech at 4:07 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by meech at 4:07 PM on March 14, 2007
Five Eight Eight, Two Three Hundred, EMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE
NAtional 2-9000, NAtional 2 9... thou-ou-sand. Stuck in the brains of everyone who's ever had WGN on their cable system.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:25 PM on March 14, 2007
NAtional 2-9000, NAtional 2 9... thou-ou-sand. Stuck in the brains of everyone who's ever had WGN on their cable system.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:25 PM on March 14, 2007
I'm just popping in to remind the Chicagoans on this thread that, while Eagleman and Empire are surely classics, nothing beats Peter Francis Geraci.
posted by notswedish at 4:30 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by notswedish at 4:30 PM on March 14, 2007
truly awesome. The Eagleman "huge male eagle laying an egg on a car roof which then hatches a freaky "low quote" giving chick" spot is inspired.
posted by patricio at 4:33 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by patricio at 4:33 PM on March 14, 2007
I'm just popping in to remind the Chicagoans on this thread that, while Eagleman and Empire are surely classics, nothing beats Peter Francis Geraci.
I beg to differ. Do remember Erik A. Martin? His bankruptcy commercials were completely ridiculous. Peter Francis Geraci is just boring.
posted by nooneyouknow at 4:42 PM on March 14, 2007
I beg to differ. Do remember Erik A. Martin? His bankruptcy commercials were completely ridiculous. Peter Francis Geraci is just boring.
posted by nooneyouknow at 4:42 PM on March 14, 2007
How can you possibly forget Crazy Eddie?
His prices are INSAAAANE!
Versus this Crazy Eddie, who is just an idiot, or this guy, who is crazy about big stuffed animals.
posted by Muddler at 4:44 PM on March 14, 2007
His prices are INSAAAANE!
Versus this Crazy Eddie, who is just an idiot, or this guy, who is crazy about big stuffed animals.
posted by Muddler at 4:44 PM on March 14, 2007
At least the Crazy Eddie Guy is doing schtick. He's in on the gag.
These midwestern/southern rubes are all earnestly being scary/lame.
posted by wfc123 at 4:51 PM on March 14, 2007
Melinika! I love these cheesy tacky ads - thank you! Some of these are seriously disturbing. I used to work in advertising in Maine, and I spent a fair bit of my time talking clients out of being in their own ads. And making your employees be in the spots too, as some of these did - that is simply too, too abusive!
Here are a few more gems that must be seen:
I want to get rid of my spouse
80s Estonian meat commercial
The tiddy bear
Supertimor inseticida
Feelings
posted by madamjujujive at 4:53 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Here are a few more gems that must be seen:
I want to get rid of my spouse
80s Estonian meat commercial
The tiddy bear
Supertimor inseticida
Feelings
posted by madamjujujive at 4:53 PM on March 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Palisades has the rides... Palisades has the fun... Come On Over.
posted by ericb at 4:55 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by ericb at 4:55 PM on March 14, 2007
Yessss!!!! Wet Pets San Pablo is Number 9! That commercial makes me homesick for the Bay Area.
posted by jonp72 at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by jonp72 at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2007
Metafilter: only one place where fish and lizards hang out with cats and chinchillas.
posted by jonp72 at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by jonp72 at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2007
I love the we'll give you cash for your clunker ad.
"Victory has ten acres of used parts" ... as the camera pans across what was probably once a scenic view.
posted by itchylick at 5:26 PM on March 14, 2007
"Victory has ten acres of used parts" ... as the camera pans across what was probably once a scenic view.
posted by itchylick at 5:26 PM on March 14, 2007
I was very happy to see Eastern Motors on there. I remember trying to explain why it was funny to someone, but it was impossible without actually seeing the commercial. Now I have proof!
posted by Falconetti at 5:32 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by Falconetti at 5:32 PM on March 14, 2007
Sadly, Empire Carpets isn't limited to Chicago - I'm in Seattle and if I hear that fucking jingle one more time I'm'a rip someone's face off. They're in Boston, too :shudder:
posted by tristeza at 5:43 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by tristeza at 5:43 PM on March 14, 2007
More of the same from Sarah Hepola over at Morning News.
posted by Dave Faris at 6:33 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by Dave Faris at 6:33 PM on March 14, 2007
I actually have a fondness for Crazy Gideon... his accent reminds me of my ex boyfriend who moved back to Yugoslavia. So do dracula movies, though.
My all time favorite local commercials are from long ago... anybody remember Federated's Fred Rated commercials? Honestly, they were total acid trips! He was played by Shadoe Stevens, who is now the announcer on the Craig Ferguson show. (And who -- apropo of nothing -- I share my birthday with. Yay for us.)
posted by miss lynnster at 7:42 PM on March 14, 2007
My all time favorite local commercials are from long ago... anybody remember Federated's Fred Rated commercials? Honestly, they were total acid trips! He was played by Shadoe Stevens, who is now the announcer on the Craig Ferguson show. (And who -- apropo of nothing -- I share my birthday with. Yay for us.)
posted by miss lynnster at 7:42 PM on March 14, 2007
Let's hear it from you Detroiters...
"Call TYler 8-7100. Call NOW! WE... DO... GOOD... WORK."
posted by evilcolonel at 9:04 PM on March 14, 2007
"Call TYler 8-7100. Call NOW! WE... DO... GOOD... WORK."
posted by evilcolonel at 9:04 PM on March 14, 2007
lol Peter Francis Geraci. I think he's still trying to hawk those fucking infotapes. With that creepy inflexible upper lip. In 2007.
posted by ninjew at 9:40 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by ninjew at 9:40 PM on March 14, 2007
Yowza. Those Fred Rated commercials. The walls, they're melting.
posted by ninjew at 9:46 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by ninjew at 9:46 PM on March 14, 2007
That Wet Pets San Pablo commercial (#9) is simply inspired.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:58 PM on March 14, 2007
posted by Ynoxas at 9:58 PM on March 14, 2007
I actually have a fondness for Crazy Gideon... his accent reminds me of my ex boyfriend who moved back to Yugoslavia.
I personally though Gideon had to have been the inspiration for the Count von Count from Sesame Street. One stereo, two stereos, three stereos, ah ah ah....
posted by jonp72 at 5:06 AM on March 15, 2007
I personally though Gideon had to have been the inspiration for the Count von Count from Sesame Street. One stereo, two stereos, three stereos, ah ah ah....
posted by jonp72 at 5:06 AM on March 15, 2007
anyone else remember the bobby denning furniture commercials in eastern north carolina during the early-mid nineties (maybe they still show them). they were so awesome.
it basically consisted of bobby (who is physically handicapped, maybe a palsy?) driving his powered wheelchair around the showroom floor, while people would say 'where's bobby?' i presume he was driving around slashing prices but i can't remember. whats significant here was that the commercials weren't funny because of a handicapped guy driving around in a furniture store - but because of the horrible voices of the others in the commercial.
truly a local legend in the bbq belt.
posted by kneelconqueso at 7:04 AM on March 15, 2007
it basically consisted of bobby (who is physically handicapped, maybe a palsy?) driving his powered wheelchair around the showroom floor, while people would say 'where's bobby?' i presume he was driving around slashing prices but i can't remember. whats significant here was that the commercials weren't funny because of a handicapped guy driving around in a furniture store - but because of the horrible voices of the others in the commercial.
truly a local legend in the bbq belt.
posted by kneelconqueso at 7:04 AM on March 15, 2007
The list was truly great, with a few duds. Why was Sanford Brown Medical Institute on the list? Just because the guy says "a million years"?
posted by agropyron at 8:11 AM on March 15, 2007
posted by agropyron at 8:11 AM on March 15, 2007
Oh man that first commercial from the Jhoon Rhee Martial Arts School brings back some memories.
posted by trbrts at 9:14 AM on March 15, 2007
posted by trbrts at 9:14 AM on March 15, 2007
YOU'RE KILLING ME LAARRRRRYYYYYY!
Ooof... I was looking for the Sit & Sleep commercials, but instead I found THIS! He's a hot dancer, no?
posted by miss lynnster at 11:24 AM on March 15, 2007
Ooof... I was looking for the Sit & Sleep commercials, but instead I found THIS! He's a hot dancer, no?
posted by miss lynnster at 11:24 AM on March 15, 2007
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