Confusionism and the Peaceful Art of Ice Cream
May 5, 2007 2:54 PM Subscribe
I'm an Italian Confusionist and I want to bring peace to Iraq. Confused yet? Confusionism. Not confusionism. More confusionists who are fond of sports. And, the originator of it all. first link is LiveLeak, last link is MySpace; proceed, therefore, at your own risk.
Mike Warnke, Christian comedian and vietnam war veteran, was once sitting on an army jeep giving away chocolates to kids in vietnam during the war. He was surrounded by dozens of the grabby little kids and passed out the candy. One kid took a candy bar, went inside a nearby building, came back out with a gun and shot Warnke. It didn't kill him, but he took the blow in the shoulder if memory serves, and the force flew him back, effectively somersaulting him off the jeep like Humpty Dumpty falling from the wall..
And as Mike Warnke felt gravity's pull, and the bag of chocolates were now aloft in the air like a fireworks display all about him, the only thing he could remember thinking in that instant was, "If you don't like Hersheys with almonds, just say so."
As I was watching that video, and the italian Confusionist's ice cream dump truck exploded, for some reason I heard Mike Warnke's voice again, and that sentence came to mind, but Hersheys with almonds is not ice cream. It's a candy bar. I have no explanation why this video would make me think of the punchline to a joke that I heard about two decades ago. It makes no sense. I must be confused.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:31 PM on May 5, 2007 [2 favorites]
And as Mike Warnke felt gravity's pull, and the bag of chocolates were now aloft in the air like a fireworks display all about him, the only thing he could remember thinking in that instant was, "If you don't like Hersheys with almonds, just say so."
As I was watching that video, and the italian Confusionist's ice cream dump truck exploded, for some reason I heard Mike Warnke's voice again, and that sentence came to mind, but Hersheys with almonds is not ice cream. It's a candy bar. I have no explanation why this video would make me think of the punchline to a joke that I heard about two decades ago. It makes no sense. I must be confused.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:31 PM on May 5, 2007 [2 favorites]
Oh. This also makes me think of Monty Cantsin, but for delicioiusly different reasons.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:32 PM on May 5, 2007
posted by ZachsMind at 4:32 PM on May 5, 2007
If only more people would heed the call of confusionism. I fear it may be ...too late for humanity. Therefore, we must save nonhumanity!
How to Confuse A Cat.
And now for something completely different.
How NOT to Confuse A Cat.
Ve haff vayz oof making your cat silly.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:46 PM on May 5, 2007
How to Confuse A Cat.
And now for something completely different.
How NOT to Confuse A Cat.
Ve haff vayz oof making your cat silly.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:46 PM on May 5, 2007
Mike Warnke, Christian comedian...
Warnke was (is?) quite an entertaining fellow. I saw him live once, and he was very funny. The great thing about his entertaining true stories, is that they don't even have to be true! Cool huh?
Now that's Confusionism in action!
Not saying the chocolate story isn't true.
posted by The Deej at 7:58 PM on May 5, 2007
Warnke was (is?) quite an entertaining fellow. I saw him live once, and he was very funny. The great thing about his entertaining true stories, is that they don't even have to be true! Cool huh?
Now that's Confusionism in action!
Not saying the chocolate story isn't true.
posted by The Deej at 7:58 PM on May 5, 2007
To be honest I'd only known about Warnke through his record album "Hey Doc" and a couple other recordings over the years. It's very cool to read his life experience pretty much trumps Jimmy Swaggart. Four marriages? Sweet!
Imagine however, trying to prove you were once a satanist, when, at the time you were a satanist, you were 'in the closet' about it and didn't advertise. That'd be confusing!
Bill Cosby's comedy was always about exagerration. Especially his early career. He'd talk about his childhood as if he had a father. He didn't. Not one that hung around anyway. Under close scrutiny, Cosby's accounts of his past wouldn't hold up. Of course, he never espoused to be a 'Christian' comedian. Cosby is a comedian who happens to be Christian. Perhaps there's a lesson in there for all of us.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:00 PM on May 5, 2007
Imagine however, trying to prove you were once a satanist, when, at the time you were a satanist, you were 'in the closet' about it and didn't advertise. That'd be confusing!
Bill Cosby's comedy was always about exagerration. Especially his early career. He'd talk about his childhood as if he had a father. He didn't. Not one that hung around anyway. Under close scrutiny, Cosby's accounts of his past wouldn't hold up. Of course, he never espoused to be a 'Christian' comedian. Cosby is a comedian who happens to be Christian. Perhaps there's a lesson in there for all of us.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:00 PM on May 5, 2007
ZachsMind, I think the real issue was not the comedy routine, but his autobiography, which actually preceded his career as a comedian. The incredible claims in the book made him a sought after speaker, and in his speaking engagements he discovered his gift for comedy. You are exactly right: comedy is all about exaggeration. But Warnke was marketing himself as telling the truth in his book and in his appearances, which held him to a different standard. In a past life, I often did comedy/magic shows for church crowds (banquets etc.), and many of the audience members knew me personally. For those shows, I made it a point to start off with a bit about how everything they heard and saw would be a lie, made up to just entertain. A lot of the material was based on true events, though. Maybe Warnke just needed a disclaimer!
This really isn't a derail, by the way, because it supports the whole concept of Confusionism. It certainly is confusing.
posted by The Deej at 9:22 PM on May 5, 2007
This really isn't a derail, by the way, because it supports the whole concept of Confusionism. It certainly is confusing.
posted by The Deej at 9:22 PM on May 5, 2007
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Like ice cream is any good without a cakey substrate.
posted by Dizzy at 3:17 PM on May 5, 2007