Inelegant design.

June 22, 2007 10:13 PM

There is no dog God.
posted by rob511 (36 comments total)

Oh, and Elwood won.
posted by rob511 at 10:22 PM on June 22, 2007

I heard one of the judges puked on Elwood and he got prettier.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:26 PM on June 22, 2007

Y'know, The Chinese Crested seems to be a tad overrepresented in these contests. There probably need to be two divisions, a Chinese Crested/crosses group and a non-Chinese Crested division.

And Elwood is certainly a worthy recipient of the award. My money would have been on PeeWee Martini, though.
posted by dilettante at 10:29 PM on June 22, 2007

For me, Sam will always be the world's ugliest dog.
posted by larcher at 10:31 PM on June 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yeah, just based on the pictures with the article, Pee Wee Martini was the clear winner.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:32 PM on June 22, 2007

contests for world's ugliest dog no different than for world's most beautiful woman; it's entirely subjective, you're gonna favor the one in your house and there's a lot of them out there.
posted by bruce at 10:35 PM on June 22, 2007

Hello good dog,
you look sad,
What's the matter?

I feel bad.

Good dog, good dog,
what can I do?
What's the problem?

I feel blue.
posted by Mblue at 10:37 PM on June 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

Love that, Mblue. Where on earth did that come from?
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:40 PM on June 22, 2007

Cutest dog? Mr. Winkle
posted by vronsky at 10:42 PM on June 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

The sad dog song. (pdf)
posted by Mblue at 10:43 PM on June 22, 2007

not one of these adonises can hold a candle to Sam but Pee Wee Martini is the fugliest of the bunch.
posted by subtle_squid at 10:44 PM on June 22, 2007

My god, vronsky, that dog is so cute it could be used to market anything from toilet paper to fabric softener!
posted by stavrogin at 10:46 PM on June 22, 2007

If Chinese Cresteds are so damned ugly, why do there seem to be so many of them? Yeesh...
posted by pupdog at 10:46 PM on June 22, 2007

holy fuck can't stop laughing best dogs ever Lil Biggles holy fuck
posted by mediareport at 10:49 PM on June 22, 2007

"Sam I am?" ¡Represent!
posted by taosbat at 10:58 PM on June 22, 2007

"When he gets excited or scared his tongue goes in and out and he swats at it with his paws."

I dated a guy like that, but, see, it wasn't his tongue...
posted by katillathehun at 11:04 PM on June 22, 2007

Dear God, Sam and Pee Wee Martini are a testament to how mankind can screw up a gene-pool.
I can see my next argument now:
"Genetic engineering is fine, we've been breeding dogs for centuries - GE is just faster."
"Have you seen the chinese crested crossbreeds? Have you??? Stay the hell away from *my* DNA!"
posted by ArkhanJG at 11:16 PM on June 22, 2007

Pee Wee Martini and Elwood tie for ugliest. Mr. Winkle wins hands down for creepiest looking stuffed animal on the planet who possibly maybe an actual animal.
posted by msjen at 11:22 PM on June 22, 2007

Nice title.
posted by puke & cry at 11:28 PM on June 22, 2007

Run! It's the Sumatran rat-monkey!
posted by Goblindegook at 11:49 PM on June 22, 2007

"I am Sam."
posted by taosbat at 11:49 PM on June 22, 2007

This is what happens when doggy style is the only option.
posted by Stan Chin at 1:13 AM on June 23, 2007

I suspect the use of styling mousse in some of those photos to get the hair right. Seriously!
posted by humblepigeon at 1:38 AM on June 23, 2007

There is a dog god -- I've been to The Dog Chapel.
posted by paddbear at 3:49 AM on June 23, 2007

Vronksy. Do not fuck with Mr Winkle. A friend of mine did once, and now he's geriatric, whereas previously he had just made it to joined up writing. Mr Winkle can suck the youth right out of ya DIRECTLY OVER THE INTERNET.
posted by Sparx at 4:20 AM on June 23, 2007

Pee Wee Martini isn't really ugly; he's almost a living caricature of the notion of ugly-dogness. I'd like to scratch his ears and offer him a biscuit.
posted by pax digita at 4:45 AM on June 23, 2007

OK we get it, Chinese Crested is an ugly breed.
posted by psmealey at 4:56 AM on June 23, 2007

In the defense of the Chinese Crested, we have a 2-year-old of the "hairy hairless" variety, and she is absolutely adorable.
posted by jozxyqk at 5:43 AM on June 23, 2007

Yeah, but that's just because the hair hides the ugly.
posted by bshort at 6:40 AM on June 23, 2007

In the defense of the Chinese Crested, we have a 2-year-old of the "hairy hairless" variety, and she is absolutely adorable.

DEMON DOG! You can see the evil in those black eyes!

Cute evil, but still...
posted by pupdog at 9:10 AM on June 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Video of Elwood winning.
posted by ericb at 10:11 AM on June 23, 2007

I remember watching an ugly dog contest (on Animal Planet, I think) a year or two back and one of the contestants noted that she hadn't even bothered entering her little ball of ugly while Sam was still around, but now that Sam had passed on (to the brutal hell he was destined to rule) she figured they might have a chance.

Her dog was pretty damned ugly, yep. But comparing him to Sam made him look like a Disney princess.
posted by John Smallberries at 10:47 AM on June 23, 2007

He is complete with ugly dog warts, freckles and a lack of teeth, so he can't keep his tongue in his mouth,

Rascal is Ugly Dog Royalty being from a dynasty of ugly with his Mom, Grandmother, and Grandfather all who have held the title of "The World's Ugliest Dog" each 1-8 times.

This is twisted.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:13 PM on June 23, 2007

Holy Mary mother of God.
posted by tristeza at 5:14 PM on June 23, 2007

Munchkin beats Sam.
posted by Mblue at 7:32 PM on June 23, 2007

Whoa. My brain is reeling from the dog ugliness in this thread. (Except for Mr. Winkle and jozxyqk's dog. Cute!)

But I do believe, while Elwood was a worthy opponent, Pee Wee Martini was robbed. Robbed, I say!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:15 AM on June 24, 2007