Listening to the past

June 29, 2007 1:16 PM

Before the iPhone there were devices known as telephones.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (58 comments total)

Cortex, are you currently working on a script that auto-deletes any post with the word "iPhone" in it?
posted by jbickers at 1:17 PM on June 29, 2007

Telephone bukkake.
posted by jefbla at 1:21 PM on June 29, 2007

You know how hard those single letter links are to click on with my finger on this new iPhone?
posted by brownpau at 1:21 PM on June 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

The best part was all the telephones.
posted by puke & cry at 1:27 PM on June 29, 2007

your favorite telephone sucks.
posted by pdb at 1:30 PM on June 29, 2007

Before the iMac there were devices known as calculators.
posted by shmegegge at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2007

Telephone poles are more interesting.
(typing like mad so I can get this posted before the fpp is deleted.)
posted by alms at 1:33 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you're feeling sad and lonely
There's a service I can render
Tell the one who loves you only
I can be so warm and tender

Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it's late, but just call me
Tell me, and I'll be around . . .
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:35 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

What the fuck is an "iPhone"?
posted by cmonkey at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Twenty fuckin' dollars. Same as iTown.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:46 PM on June 29, 2007 [5 favorites]

"You know how hard those single letter links are to click on with my finger on this new iPhone?"

I've got a stylus I could sell you cheap.
posted by JaredSeth at 1:50 PM on June 29, 2007

The next hipster craze is sure to be vintage telephones.

I have my eyes on a Kellogg redbar or a Western Electric 300.

Whenever I dial I'll pick up the receiver and say "Operator! Get me Klondike 5-2653! There's been a murder!" and the Ingrid Bergman lookalike standing next to me will gasp "Oh, darling, it's terrible!"

I may have to slap her, in case she gets hysterical.
posted by Pastabagel at 1:51 PM on June 29, 2007 [14 favorites]

Before deletion there was this post
posted by Debaser626 at 1:51 PM on June 29, 2007

This post will live forever.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2007

Well... umm... not this post:

"Before deletion there was this post
posted by Debaser626 at 4:51 PM on June 29 [+] [!] "


I umm... erm... meant... this post:

"Before the iPhone there were devices known as telephones.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (13 comments total) [add to favorites] [!] 1 user marked this as a favorite "

/leaves room, closes door.
posted by Debaser626 at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2007

Is this something you'd have to have a ...

Oh, never mind.
posted by jennaratrix at 1:54 PM on June 29, 2007

From the "p" link:

Among the literally hundreds of things invented by Thomas Edison, is the word "hello." Edison actually coined the word, derived from "holler" in 1889.

Well hot damn. I did not know that.

this fpp should stand, as a quiet protest to the hype
posted by Big_B at 2:00 PM on June 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

The next hipster craze is sure to be vintage telephones.

Does this count?
posted by puke & cry at 2:01 PM on June 29, 2007

Also see 2600's gallery of payphones.
posted by Democritus at 2:03 PM on June 29, 2007

I had a friend that had a cheap knockoff of one of these screwed to the dash of her old convertible, just to see what people would do when she picked it up and started making calls.

I miss that strange woman...
posted by pupdog at 2:03 PM on June 29, 2007

"...iPhone parses out phone numbers, they're in blue and I can just call this place."
It's interesting that Steve Jobs still seems to think that a phone number is associated with a place. That's not true any more. A phone number these days is more likely associated with a person.
You would think he'd know that.
posted by Floydd at 2:15 PM on June 29, 2007

One gets the feeling that this was kind of, uh, phoned in.
posted by cortex at 2:18 PM on June 29, 2007

Can’t afford the new iPhone? Trick out the phone you’ve got.
posted by ericb at 2:25 PM on June 29, 2007

My English teacher would have put red marks all over the article in link "s" if I tried to turn that crap into her.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:25 PM on June 29, 2007

This telephone ... it vibrates?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:30 PM on June 29, 2007

One gets the feeling that this was kind of, uh, phoned in.

You're totally banned.
posted by epugachev at 2:34 PM on June 29, 2007

I've got a stylus I could sell you cheap.

I'd hope cheap. The iPhone's touchscreen is capacitive - it can't detect anything that isn't big, flat and conductive.
posted by cillit bang at 2:34 PM on June 29, 2007

4 outta 5 Mefites agree, jessamyn rules.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:35 PM on June 29, 2007

"it can't detect anything that isn't big, flat and conductive"

If I had a nickle for every time I'd heard that excuse...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:45 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Edison did not invent "hello," though he did popularize it as a telephone greeting, though. Twain used it a few years before the telephone was invented, and he probably didn't invent it, either.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:53 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Lionel Ritchie reinvented "Hello", much as Steve Jobs has reinvented the telephone.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:56 PM on June 29, 2007

*holds pinky and thumb up to side of face... mouths the words, "call me."
posted by vronsky at 3:04 PM on June 29, 2007

Those links give me an idea... an out of this world idea for a telephone that's so advanced, so simple to use that when it rings, all you have to do is pick up the handset and speak. When you're done, all you have to do is simply set it down. No multi-function buttons, no menus, no batteries. Amazing, I know.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:25 PM on June 29, 2007

The iPhone's touchscreen is capacitive - it can't detect anything that isn't big, flat and conductive.

So its accessibility issues extend not only to the blind, but also to those without hands. Not to mention robots. Thanks a lot, Steve Jobs.
posted by infinitywaltz at 3:27 PM on June 29, 2007

"...iPhone parses out phone numbers, they're in blue and I can just call this place."
It's interesting that Steve Jobs still seems to think that a phone number is associated with a place. That's not true any more. A phone number these days is more likely associated with a person.
You would think he'd know that.

It's because at that moment he's talking about an email with directions to a sushi restaurant for dinner, and the number is for the restaurant. So 'place' is correct' The Engadget report isn't a full transcript, the actual keynote video makes more sense.
posted by pupdog at 3:29 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Among the literally hundreds of things invented by Thomas Edison, is the word "hello." Edison actually coined the word, derived from "holler" in 1889.

Edison: Holla!

Watson: Holla back!
posted by quin at 3:30 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

This telephone... it has a vibration alert?
posted by quin at 3:31 PM on June 29, 2007

Before the iMac there were devices known as calculators.

I actually got to play with the Wang 360e. Luckily the hot main package rested on the floor, attached to the enormous display -- glorious pressing those buttons -- by a thick cable. Unlike the Cyber, no punching, no wait to get your job in the queue. Ecstasy.
posted by Twang at 3:32 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

So its accessibility issues extend not only to the blind, but also to those without hands.

"Mr. Jobs, you will burn in your tank.
                                —S. O. Minya"
posted by cortex at 3:33 PM on June 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Twang's comment is the very definition of technolust.

Wang ... hot main package... enormous ... thick cable ... Ecstasy

I feel dirty.
posted by quin at 3:35 PM on June 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

Twang's comment is the very definition of technolust.

And it reads like vintage cyberpunk literature.
posted by infinitywaltz at 3:39 PM on June 29, 2007

And the Sneaker Phone is free with your subscription to Sports Illustrated!
posted by wendell at 3:59 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

If I had a nickle for every time I'd heard that excuse..

With respect, Florence, nickel, please. And thank you.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 4:13 PM on June 29, 2007

Among the literally hundreds of things invented by Thomas Edison, is the word "hello." Edison actually coined the word, derived from "holler" in 1889.

Well hot damn. I did not know that.

And you don't know it now, because it ain't so. Hello is just a variant of the exclamation variously spelled hallo, hollo, halloo, etc. (1588 SHAKES. Tit. A. II. i. 25 Hollo, what storme is this?; 1840 DICKENS Barn. Rudge x, ‘Halloa there! Hugh!’ roared John; 1883 Breadwinners 241 Hello, Andy! you asleep).
posted by languagehat at 4:21 PM on June 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

With respect, Florence, nickel, please. And thank you.

Guess I'm just an alternative, rarely-used kind of guy, Turtles. Or a bad speller. You're welcome.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:33 PM on June 29, 2007

We've got a little line (big for this town) outside the AT&T store very close to where I worked. I nipped out and snapped some dork pics.

It was funny. Don't care HOW cool it is, I ain't camping for two days.

The only impact the iPhone's had on my lifestyle? I can't get in to buy a holster for my (just arrived today) LG CU400 work phone.
posted by Samizdata at 4:41 PM on June 29, 2007

My next set will be an AT&T 2500, but I long for an Autovon set.
posted by Skorgu at 5:05 PM on June 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

No mention of Alexander Graham Belinski?
Why leave out the first telephone Pole?

posted by X4ster at 5:13 PM on June 29, 2007

Among the literally hundreds of things invented by Thomas Edison, is the word "hello." Edison actually coined the word, derived from "holler" in 1889.

Well hot damn. I did not know that.

Nope.

Many stories date the first use of hello (with that spelling) to around the time of the invention of the telephone in 1876. It was however used in print in Roughing It by Mark Twain in 1872 (written between 1870 and 1871),[2] so its first use must have predated the telephone:

"A miner came out and said: 'Hello!'"^

On preview, MrMoonPie beat me to it.
posted by MythMaker at 6:12 PM on June 29, 2007

Floydd: It's interesting that Steve Jobs still seems to think that a phone number is associated with a place.

Actually in American English, a phone number is conceived of as standing for the location of a telephone. In the US a number takes the preposition at

Call me at 555-1212 (at my office)

In British English, a phone number is conceived of as the phone line that the called party is connected to. (maybe because party lines were more common in Britain.) In the UK a number takes the preposition on

Call me on 0 2121-555-1212 and stay on the line

I haven't heard any new language to reflect that numbers no longer refer to fixed locations or lines, but then again people are still dialing their phones rather than punching or keying them. If a new form springs up to handle on-person phones then it could very well be with to indicate that the phone is mostly with the person.

Call me with 555-1212

posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 6:15 PM on June 29, 2007 [3 favorites]

oops, the google search for the on phrase above should be Call me on.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 6:19 PM on June 29, 2007

Among the literally hundreds of things invented by Thomas Edison, is the word "hello." Edison actually coined the word, derived from "holler" in 1889

"Hello, old chap, you got to work, hey?"

Tom wheeled suddenly and said:

"Why, it's you, Ben! I warn't noticing."

-- Chapter 1, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

The first of six times it's used in the novel, five of them greetings, one an exclamation of surprise.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:02 PM on June 29, 2007

Actually it was Chapter II, sorry.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:03 PM on June 29, 2007

The telephone is an irrestistible intruder in time or place. (Marshall McLuhan 1964, p. 238)

As demonstrated by Paris Hilton.
posted by Tube at 7:17 PM on June 29, 2007

Dammit, ANOTHER post where every letter in an emphasized word is a separate link? I shan't indulge such "clever" wankery by reading any of it. Go fuck a talking moose, offline.
posted by davy at 10:59 PM on June 29, 2007

The Edison Museum, not open to the public
Its haunted towers rise into the clouds above it
Folks drive in from out of town
To gaze in amazement when they see it

Just outside the gate I look into the courtyard
Underneath the gathering thunderstorm
Through the iron bars, I see the Black Maria
Revolving slowly on its platform
In the topmost tower, a light burns dim
A coiling filament glowing within

The Edison Museum, once a bustling factory
Today is but a darkened, cobweb covered hive of industry
The tallest, widest and most famous haunted mansion in New Jersey

Behind a wooden door, the voice of Thomas Alva
Recites a poem on a phonograph
Ghosts float up the stair, like silent moving pictures
The loyal phantoms of his in-house staff
A wondrous place it is, there can be no doubt
But no one ever goes in, and no one ever goes out

So when your children quarrel and nothing seems to quell them
Just tell them that you'll take them to the Edison Museum
The largest independently owned and operated mausoleum
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:39 AM on June 30, 2007

I remember being a young kid and how the telephone company used to own our telephones. Then some rule was changed and suddenly you could buy any phone you wanted, and the variety of them exploded.

My best friend got a Darth Vader speaker phone when that happened.
posted by marble at 12:07 AM on July 1, 2007

Say what you will about those old Ma Bell issued generic phones

Right.
Icky icky icky icky petang NEEE wahm. NEEE wahm.
posted by Twang at 2:50 PM on July 2, 2007 [2 favorites]