It's a boobie revival!

July 10, 2007 8:37 AM

Build bigger boobies from belly blubber! But how do they know to stop growing?
posted by (bb|[^b]{2}) (37 comments total)

Best news I've heard all month.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:39 AM on July 10, 2007

I've been expecting something like this in the future, but I thought it would involve cloning tissue out of the body and then implanting it whole in place of a silicone gel pack. But these guys are just jamming in stem cells.

Fat tissue is probably about the simplest body tissue that could be created through therapeutic cloning. This seems like the first step towards growing hearts and prostates and whatnot in vats.

I wonder if we'll ever see whole bodies being cloned sans-brain?
posted by delmoi at 8:45 AM on July 10, 2007

I wonder if we'll ever see whole bodies being cloned sans-brain?

You ever been on the internet?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:51 AM on July 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

You ever been on the internet?

"Hey, we do have a million monkeys banging randomly on typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare!"
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:53 AM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

But how do they know to stop growing?

I fail to see the problem.
posted by Rubbstone at 8:55 AM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

Good news: The therapy, detailed in Chemistry and Industry Magazine, could help cancer patients who have had mastectomies.

Bad news: mammary snobs such as myself won't be able to tell if someone's boobs are fake anymore.
posted by chuckdarwin at 9:11 AM on July 10, 2007

I wonder if we'll ever see whole bodies being cloned sans-brain?

I believe I've dated a few of those.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:15 AM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Bad news: mammary snobs such as myself won't be able to tell if someone's boobs are fake anymore.

Why is that a problem?

I have a suspicion that much of the animosity directed towards biological enhancement technologies is based on a subconscious fear that one's potential mates are broadcasting false advertisements for their haploid cells.
posted by Human Flesh at 9:23 AM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

I overheard two 30-something Japanese women talking about this on the subway to work one day, ~ 10 years ago.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 9:25 AM on July 10, 2007

Oh man, I'm really looking forward to the day when our bodies really are like clay and we can shape them however we wish. It'll remove a lot of self consciousness in the world.

Well, if it isn't restricted to those with enough money to afford it.

It makes me wonder how much more progress in stem cell research could be made if somehow it were all related to physical attractiveness.
posted by Mister Cheese at 9:34 AM on July 10, 2007

I was being snarky, Human Flesh... I'll be happy if people can get real-looking fake breasts. The current breast augmentations look like Hell.
posted by chuckdarwin at 9:36 AM on July 10, 2007

I wonder if we'll ever see whole bodies being cloned sans-brain?

I first read that as whole BOOBIES being cloned sans-brain and I immediately flashed (as it were) on the Real Doll thread.
posted by DU at 9:50 AM on July 10, 2007

I was wondering when this would happen. A friend of mine got breast cancer a few years ago, and after her double mastectomy they used this method to reconstruct what was lost.
posted by psmealey at 9:51 AM on July 10, 2007

I'd prefer moving my belly fat to my butt cheeks. I've never had an ass and probably never will, though my gut gets more outstanding every year.
posted by davy at 10:10 AM on July 10, 2007

I don't see anything wrong with small breasts myself.
posted by davy at 10:15 AM on July 10, 2007

I don't see anything wrong with small breasts myself.

There. I fixed that for you.
posted by netbros at 10:25 AM on July 10, 2007

Did anyone notice that this breakthrough is being welcomed by the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons?

Yes, BAAPS are pleased with the news.
posted by tiny crocodile at 10:57 AM on July 10, 2007

On behalf of natural, small-breasted women everywhere, I have to say that the real problem with techniques like this is that they will eventually become available to everyone.

This means those women who already have size DD breasts will enhance theirs, and enhanced B cups will still be more petite, so the disparity will always be there, just on a much bigger scale.

I know some of you are already typing, "I fail to see the problem with that..."
posted by misha at 11:01 AM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm not good enough at math to be able to expand the equation in the OP's username, but considering the alliteration in the post, I'd say it's safe to call this one eponysterical.
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 11:35 AM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

You could make, like, fifteen nice tits from my belly.
posted by Mister_A at 11:48 AM on July 10, 2007

From the article: "Scientists say they are not sure quite how it works."

Promising.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:58 AM on July 10, 2007

I know some of you are already typing, "I fail to see the problem with that..."

We don't have to carry them around, though.
posted by oaf at 12:00 PM on July 10, 2007

To be fair, bicyclefish, scientists aren't quite sure how most of modern medicine works.
posted by Mister_A at 12:02 PM on July 10, 2007

I honestly really wish people would quit obsessing over big boobs. Speaking as someone who has them.

If they were detachable for special occasions, on the other hand? Well, THAT I'd be all for.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:05 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'm not surprised BAAPS welcomed this. They have been fixing the fuck-ups of other surgeons for long enough. In some countries anyone can hang up a shingle and say the do boob jobs, and I've seen the mutilations that ensue.

On the other hand some of the most prestigeous surgeons in the UK, and members of BAAPS, charge their private patients and absolute fortune for a relatively simple procedure. Horses for courses really
posted by Wilder at 12:44 PM on July 10, 2007

the disparity will always be there, just on a much bigger scale.

There's obviously a market for frankenboob porn, but I'd bet when you get down to it, once you get to a D, you've reached or passed the point of diminishing returns even for most breast men when they're choosing to which women to pursue in real life. Maybe even C.

Given that and the fact that large breasts can be a literal pain, I'd be surprised to see anything beyond a minority of women augmenting outside a certain range.

Some exceptions apply, offer void for strippers, porn stars, and parts of Southern California, obviously shape is as or more important than size, blah blah blah...
posted by namespan at 12:55 PM on July 10, 2007

If they were detachable for special occasions, on the other hand? Well, THAT I'd be all for.

Hell yeah! I could leave them with my husband while I go for a run. Get on it, science.
posted by peep at 1:49 PM on July 10, 2007

I bet a certain teenaged Columbian prostitute will be overjoyed!
posted by Sangermaine at 4:06 PM on July 10, 2007

This means those women who already have size DD breasts will enhance theirs

Hell NO we won't. If my breasts got any bigger I'd cry.
posted by fshgrl at 5:57 PM on July 10, 2007

Any plastic surgeons out there want to use me as a candidate for a Sir-Mix-a-Lot-ectomy (in which one takes some of my excess "back," shall we say, and evens out my front with it)?
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:19 PM on July 10, 2007

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' bout peep!!!!
posted by miss lynnster at 6:44 PM on July 10, 2007

I don't see any wrong with women having big round butts either.

To see what's wrong with my big belly I need only look down. Maybe someday I'll actually lose it.

Can one really make good soap from human fat?
posted by davy at 9:59 PM on July 10, 2007

OFF-TOPIC => (Hey bitter-girl.com, you're raising money for Hillary Clinton and yet on your blog you say "death to the yuppies"? Am I missing something here?)
posted by davy at 10:06 PM on July 10, 2007

Betty Botter bought some boobies,
But, she said, these boobs are busted,
Got to get some better boobies,
Buying those bad boobs made her bitter,
Build new boobs from bits of belly.

Betty's belly built brand new boobies,
Bigger boobs she those she first bought,
Boobs that bounce like big bold beach balls
Bionic boobs from Betty's belly,
Betty Botter's no longer bitter
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:52 AM on July 11, 2007

davy writes 'I don't see any wrong with women having big round butts either.'

I like big butts and I can not lie...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:54 AM on July 11, 2007

Can one really make good soap from human fat?

Yes, absolutely.

The fat is first melted into a liquid grease. Chop the fat into small cubes and place in a cast iron frying pan or a shallow pot. Place over low heat until melted into a liquid. Strain through a clean cloth to remove any large solid particles. One pound (450 grams) of fat yields about 1 cup of grease.

Place the grease in a large kettle and add an equal amount of water. Note this amount.

Boil over a open fire. Do not leave unattended.

Put the fire out and add an amount of cold water equal to one fourth that of the first.
Leave overnight to allow the clean fat to solidify on the top. All the impurities being heavier remain in the water below the layer of clean fat on the top.
When the fat has hardened scrap off the cleaner fat. If this stills is dirty repeat steps 2-5.

On the last washing use twice as much water as fat in step 2 and add one tablespoon of salt before boiling.

Note: If using cooking grease or rancid fat the soap product may be smelly. To fix this add four tablespoons of vinegar or lemon juice for every cup of water and cup of 'smelly' fat (two cups of total water/fat mixture) in step 2. Another method is for each cup of melted fat add one cup of sour milk during step 1 of method 2. Yet another method is to add a cooking potato or rice to the liquid fat in step 1 of method 2.
If using a discolored fat potassium permanganate will help to 'clean' it. Potassium permanganate is a purple color and is sometimes called Kondies Crystals.

Washed fat can be saved in a cool airy place for a few weeks if needed before being made into soap.

http://peacecorps.mtu.edu/resources/studentprojects/soap_making.html
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:42 AM on July 11, 2007

Of all the things to spend research time on. Yuck. Just yuck. Why spend time trying to cure parkinson's when you can help the boobly chanllenged. Seriously. WTF. Oh and I love the final sentence talking about breast cancer. Uh right, this is all about making cancer survivors feel better. Or something.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 12:07 PM on July 11, 2007