How long will you live?

September 1, 2007 12:36 PM

An insurance company's cute little flash application tells you how long you're going to live. [retrofilter]
posted by Saucy Intruder (99 comments total)

cute annoying
posted by desjardins at 12:47 PM on September 1, 2007

For a more detailed and time-consuming prediction (although unfortunately no flash...):
http://www.livingto100.com/
posted by corranhorn at 12:50 PM on September 1, 2007

80.
posted by Bugbread at 12:52 PM on September 1, 2007

better start my 7-year countdown to death.
that was close!
I almost paid my credit card off!
posted by Busithoth at 12:52 PM on September 1, 2007

I'm going to live to be 84, even with my high blood pressure, controlled by medication =o)
posted by CameraObscura at 12:54 PM on September 1, 2007

It gave me five stars, but didn't give an age. Hopefully that's okay.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:55 PM on September 1, 2007

hey wait a second, that means I have to buy high blood pressure medication for 42 more years =o(
posted by CameraObscura at 12:55 PM on September 1, 2007

Blazecock, the age is on the corner, to the right of the stars
posted by CameraObscura at 12:56 PM on September 1, 2007

My little animated friend died halfway through the questions.
posted by hal9k at 12:58 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

i like the second test better. that first one is a bit naggy.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 12:59 PM on September 1, 2007

83. Gotta eat more veggies.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:59 PM on September 1, 2007

83, but I could live to 91 if I exercise more, eat more veggies and lose about 50 pounds.
posted by octothorpe at 1:00 PM on September 1, 2007

didn't work in firefox for me.
posted by gminks at 1:02 PM on September 1, 2007

I guess I need to give up those "hard drugs like... narcotics".
posted by topynate at 1:03 PM on September 1, 2007

84. It suggested I eat more Twinkie Pizza and smoke a huge doobie, too.
posted by maxwelton at 1:03 PM on September 1, 2007

Outlier and lookin' good. Not surprising, but a little disappointing, that they don't have an overt "holy shit, are you kidding?" reaction for something like this.

I actually share building space downtown with NW Mutual, so it's a little bizarre to see a mefi crossover.
posted by cortex at 1:04 PM on September 1, 2007 [3 favorites]

I only get to be 96? My grandmother tells me she's going to live to be 114. I think I'm going to just pick an age, like her, and hang on like grim death (er...like something) till I get there.
posted by frobozz at 1:06 PM on September 1, 2007

I stopped playing when they showed the animation of the bulge around my belly.
posted by jiiota at 1:07 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

75. Man, you guys need to live a little. Have a fucking drink, for crying out loud. :)
posted by fusinski at 1:07 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

83.

I'm going to get squashed by an anvil or something.
posted by Lord_Pall at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2007

Not only did it work for me in Firefox, I am going to live until I am 92.
Can't believe I wasted a fortune on this term life policy.
posted by notreally at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2007

The family life expectancy is 91, except for my uncle. I always thought 91 was a perfectly good age...until I started thinking about cybernetics and uploading and all those fun transhumanist things.
posted by cobaltnine at 1:08 PM on September 1, 2007

74! 66, if you count marijuana as a drug that'll shave 8 years off one's life.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:10 PM on September 1, 2007

I died last year. Which explains a lot.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:11 PM on September 1, 2007 [5 favorites]

96. But I thought the quick and dirty rule was take your oldest living relative and add 11 years, and you can expect to live at least that long. That formula puts me at 107.

*goes to put on more sunscreen*
posted by ambrosia at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2007

The bong and the hypodermic needle. I guess they are inevitably bound together.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:12 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

You get one year for the seatbelt, but wearing your seatbelt isn't going to help you live from 83 to 84. It's going to give you slightly better odds of not dying young.
posted by delmoi at 1:16 PM on September 1, 2007

97. Neener neener.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:17 PM on September 1, 2007

You get one year for the seatbelt, but wearing your seatbelt isn't going to help you live from 83 to 84. It's going to give you slightly better odds of not dying young.

How DARE you question Northwestern Mutual who knows a thing or two about longevity because they’ve been tracking statistics that impact life since 1857?!
posted by fusinski at 1:18 PM on September 1, 2007

74? Fuck that, I'm striving for 50. Growing old is such a scam.
posted by cmonkey at 1:22 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

Longer than my lower leg, and obviously longer than previous posters.
posted by Mblue at 1:23 PM on September 1, 2007

93- That's with smoking and drinking. Suck on that concerned friends and family *_*
posted by Wonderwoman at 1:23 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

if you count marijuana as a drug that'll shave 8 years off one's life

yeah, that shaved me down from 93 to 87.
posted by sutel at 1:26 PM on September 1, 2007

This is surely a very useful tool for white people who live in the suburbs, drive to work at a desk, can't stop themselves from smoking crack and shooting up once they've smoked pot, and somehow manage to have the BMI work for them. (After my friends and I all did and it registered everyone as overweight except for the unmuscled skinniest kid in the room (borderline underweight), one soccer player (normal), and one fat kid (obese) and people with a bit of chub often got a better score than in shape people, I gave up on that measure. Maybe it works statistically over 300 million people, but individually?)
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:29 PM on September 1, 2007

97. Neener neener.
posted by The corpse in the library

Northwestern Mutual love you long time.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:29 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

TheOnlyCoolTim

Tim rocks until ?
???????????????????????????????
posted by Mblue at 1:33 PM on September 1, 2007

58, despite the fact that I wear a seatbelt, don't smoke, and eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

I guess the moral of this particular story is DRUGS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!11!1!1
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:35 PM on September 1, 2007

A friend of mine back in hs (he went to a different one) took a 100 question longevity test in class. After tallying up all the drugs and whatnot, he and his friend's expected longevities were less than their current ages.

I believe they celebrated it.
posted by modernerd at 1:38 PM on September 1, 2007

The extra life meted out for teetotaling is scientifically not accurate. There's a growing body of literature supporting the consumption of moderate amounts of alcohol. For instance, I'm drunk right now.
posted by mert at 1:45 PM on September 1, 2007 [3 favorites]

76 on the linked one, 83 on the somewhat more realistic feeling one in the comments. My living grandparent is ~90 with no death imminent, and the other three died at 88, 83, and early 60s (before I was born.) So, if I avoid whatever it was that killed Grandpa, I fully expect to live to 90+, adding a little for technological advances, and wouldn't be all too surprised if I reached 100, assuming the quality of life stays sufficient and I don't off myself first.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:50 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

It said I'm going to live to fort


NO CARRIER
posted by eriko at 2:00 PM on September 1, 2007 [4 favorites]

That link just forwards my browser to a site for funeral planning. Weird.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:02 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

73. Despite all of my bad habits, I'm still going to live too long. I have no intention of ever having to wear diapers (again).

Reminiscent of this short story.
posted by IronLizard at 2:06 PM on September 1, 2007

...As seen on yesterday's "The IT Crowd"!
posted by Laen at 2:13 PM on September 1, 2007

Insurance company says 94. Dr. Perl ("Living to 100" link in second comment) says 89.

Dr. Perl's website says if I cut out my daily 2 cups of coffee, it could add half a year to my life. This seems a disproportionately small compensation.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:15 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

I was just going to say... somebody's been watching The IT Crowd.
posted by Rhomboid at 2:22 PM on September 1, 2007

Which answer best describes your driving history?

Ahh.. None of the above.
posted by Chuckles at 2:28 PM on September 1, 2007

91. It would help if I knew my blood pressure, apparently.
posted by thomas j wise at 2:37 PM on September 1, 2007

Too bloody long, think I better start with some more bad habits
posted by edgeways at 2:40 PM on September 1, 2007

How the fuck do you eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day? How small is a serving?
posted by dreamsign at 2:53 PM on September 1, 2007

75? I guess I better use more drugs. I think that's too long.
posted by ninjew at 2:53 PM on September 1, 2007

They want you to be a vegetarian. Damn communist propaganda.
posted by IronLizard at 2:55 PM on September 1, 2007

Pretty bogus stuff.

About rec. drugs, it seems like the drug-death connection has most effect on the under-35 crowd.
Anyone older has their drug use profile closely calibrated, and are pretty free of severe outcomes. Except of course for alcohol abusers, who seem able to screw up incredibly at any age.

And many items (seat belts?) are clearly aimed at US suburbanalites--first world, anyway. No questions like 'is there less than 1 physician for each 10000 persons where you live?' or 'how many miles away is the nearest pure drinking water?'
posted by hexatron at 3:00 PM on September 1, 2007

This is surely a very useful tool for white people who live in the suburbs, drive to work at a desk, can't stop themselves from smoking crack and shooting up once they've smoked pot

Crack is probably the only interesting thing happening there.
posted by ninjew at 3:02 PM on September 1, 2007

dreamsign writes "How the fuck do you eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day? How small is a serving?"

Fruits with breakfast.
Salad with lunch.
Snack on a fruit.
Salad with dinner.
Fruit for desert.

I don't do it often, and never on purpose, but, yeah, I've had days with 5 or 6 servings of fruit and vegetables.
posted by Bugbread at 3:04 PM on September 1, 2007

Weird, mine said that I would die in a hail of gunfire.

Tomorrow.

Oh well. Bring it bitches...
posted by quin at 3:09 PM on September 1, 2007 [3 favorites]

No questions like 'is there less than 1 physician for each 10000 persons where you live?' or 'how many miles away is the nearest pure drinking water?'

Probably an expression of the target market of the insurance company providing the flash app. Something like this built for an emerging market might look a bit different, but this is about first-world [sub]urbanites—the sorts like to actually be customers for the individual and group products the company makes its bacon off of.
posted by cortex at 3:10 PM on September 1, 2007

dreamsign writes "How the fuck do you eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day?"

On further reflection, let's see how many servings we can get if we go whole-hog:

Breakfast: An orange, a small salad, some yoghurt, a few strips of bacon. - 2 servings
Lunch: An apple, a veggie sandwich. - 2 servings
Dinner: Tabouleh (couscous, tomato, chopped onion, black olives, and mint), eggplant and beef stirfry, apple strudel for desert. - 3 servings
Late snack: A tasty tasty pear. - 1 serving

So I'm looking at a max of 8 servings while still remaining normal. Past that, and we're just talking silly talk.
posted by Bugbread at 3:20 PM on September 1, 2007

cortex writes "Probably an expression of the target market of the insurance company providing the flash app. Something like this built for an emerging market might look a bit different, but this is about first-world [sub]urbanites—the sorts like to actually be customers for the individual and group products the company makes its bacon off of."

No, it's just The Man forcing his social norms on the oppressed people of impoverished nations, without drinking water or doctors, who speak English and have internet connections and use them to run goofy web apps to determine their life expectancy.
posted by Bugbread at 3:23 PM on September 1, 2007

o rite sry
posted by cortex at 3:26 PM on September 1, 2007

It says I'm living a healthy life and I'll live to be 80. WAAAAHHH!!!!!
posted by davy at 3:28 PM on September 1, 2007

I'm in such crappy condition at 44, with things like a crumbling spine and swollen joints that I can't do anything about, that sticking around past 60 would be stupidly masochistic. Plus I'm mentally ill and I don't even have a fish in my pants.

How would I sell the 20 years of life expectancy I won't be using? Is there a Longevity Viaticum programme?
posted by davy at 3:38 PM on September 1, 2007

As far as predicting longevity or anything else is concerned I would lay my bets with an insurance company over pretty much anyone else, because, of course, the more correct predictions they make the more money they make. And we all know how much they like money.

But obviously, this is not the form or medical histories they amass when you go to get a policy - the results of that would probably be as accurate as any prediction of the sort is going to get.
posted by frobozz at 3:44 PM on September 1, 2007

Sad:....43

Sadder...I'm 46
posted by timsteil at 3:47 PM on September 1, 2007

portion size for fruits & veg
OJ & banana at breakfast, salad(probably at least 2 portions) at lunch or at least lettuce & tomato on burger, veg at dinner, steal cortex's tasty, tasty pear for dessert or have a handful of dried apricots.
posted by theora55 at 4:15 PM on September 1, 2007

Wow - I had no idea Flash animation had become so accurate, and in only 12 questions! I'll share this with my in-laws who are, respectively, a senior actuary and a bio-statician. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it.
posted by mosk at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2007

How the fuck do you eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day?

My usual breakfast is a large smoothie made from spinach, a banana, orange juice, and blueberries (and yoghurt, but that doesn't help this matter). That takes care of a whole lot o' servings before I'm even alert enough to care.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:38 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

mosk writes "Wow - I had no idea Flash animation had become so accurate, and in only 12 questions!"

Yes. Certainly, the results given would be much more accurate if those 12 questions were written on paper instead.
posted by Bugbread at 4:38 PM on September 1, 2007

Depends on whether you wrote them with a wood pencil or a mechanical pencil.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:47 PM on September 1, 2007

Hmm, says I'm gonna live to 90.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 5:40 PM on September 1, 2007

84.

Funny how us all listing our scores reminds me of the "Friday flash fun" threads.

Breakfast: An orange, a small salad, some yoghurt, a few strips of bacon. - 2 servings

I've never had that breakfast in my life.
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:59 PM on September 1, 2007

Sad:....43

Sadder...I'm 46

Zombie?!

I got 59. Which means I'm more than halfway through, thank God.
posted by jack_mo at 5:59 PM on September 1, 2007

It looks like most mefites on this thread will be living well into their 90's or maybe even hit 100. I'd be pretty surprised if I hit 100, if only because it'll be weird living in the year 2084.

I do know that if a big chunk of our population does live that long, they had better have some amazing rejuvination tech in the 2080's, because I'm sure as hell not going to sit around in a carbon-nanotube diaper and get my butt wiped by a replicant nurse.
posted by Avenger at 6:08 PM on September 1, 2007

I don't really understand the general world-weariness in a lot of this thread, even if it is meant to be joking. Nearly every major undertaking I've ever embarked on has gone completely wrong, and I still think life is pretty damn interesting. I imagine I'll continue to think that even if I have to wear a diaper some day, provided I've still got my mind.
posted by frobozz at 6:14 PM on September 1, 2007

My usual breakfast is a large smoothie made from spinach, a banana, orange juice, and blueberries (and yoghurt, but that doesn't help this matter). That takes care of a whole lot o' servings before I'm even alert enough to care.

Huh? Isn't that just one or two servings of some mixed fruit crap? I don't consider a long island 6 servings from the alcohol food group.
posted by xorry at 6:27 PM on September 1, 2007

Nearly every major undertaking I've ever embarked on has gone completely wrong

Well at least you have consistency going for you.
posted by IronLizard at 6:53 PM on September 1, 2007

104 on the one in the comments.

I'm going to stop worrying about my drinking.
posted by nev at 7:19 PM on September 1, 2007

70.

When I was 18, I never wanted to live longer than 30. And it was one of the few things that I was right about, at 18. The 25 years I've lived since turning 30 have largely sucked. I've had body parts replaced because they wore out, and those parts will soon need replacement. I've watched the most vital, interesting people in my life die, or go to jail, and the people that I remain in contact with, from my youth, are invariably odds-playing centrists, who have taken no risks, and devoted themselves to amassing assets with which they've bought life insurance, burial contracts, annuities, and suburban McMansions. I've helped many of them do it.

Death, come free me.
posted by paulsc at 7:49 PM on September 1, 2007 [4 favorites]

Man, the last time I took one of these it said 55, and this time, without any lifestyle changes in the intervening period, I got 74. I'm not budgeted for an extra 19 years!!!
*Lights three cigarettes*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:52 PM on September 1, 2007 [2 favorites]

Huh? Isn't that just one or two servings of some mixed fruit crap?

Huh back at you. The question was how to get five servings of fruit and vegetables. That smoothie's got two or three servings of fruit, and one vegetable. A "serving," in this context, is roughly one medium-sized piece of fruit -- not how many plates it takes to dish up the food. (But yes, a smoothie could be defined as "some mixed fruit crap," if that's your style.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:55 PM on September 1, 2007

5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day

I sure as Hell hope that '1 Glass of Wine' = '1 Serving of Fruit' (albeit fermented)!!! If so, I'm golden!!!
posted by ericb at 8:19 PM on September 1, 2007

84 from the first one, 81 from the one in comments... so I've got until around about 2057 to 2060 to get that immortality thingy worked out. Or, at least, some way to stretch my life out long enough to get a new target date...

Also, I'm surprised no-one seems to have posted http://www.deathclock.com/ to this thread. Not only does it predict the time of your demise... it keeps a running countdown. There's a screensaver.
posted by DataPacRat at 8:54 PM on September 1, 2007

am i allowed to self-link to my upcoming book, living longer through masturbation: a seminal account on here?
posted by bruce at 9:31 PM on September 1, 2007

Somewhat better: on the longer test from a comment I only scored 72.

But then Deathclock gives me Weds., Sept. 19, 2018. Cross your fingers. (But not in my pants.)
posted by davy at 9:40 PM on September 1, 2007

It told me 3.00pm
posted by seanyboy at 2:15 AM on September 2, 2007

That was completely the wrong link... Lets try again...
It told me 3.00pm
posted by seanyboy at 2:17 AM on September 2, 2007

A dead Quaker writes "I've never had that breakfast in my life."

I've only had it at hotel buffets. I was just pointing out that 5 or 6 servings a day is not unreasonable. I didn't mean to imply that it was normal for most of us. It's like saying "3 hours of aerobic exercise a week is not unreasonable: just jog 30 minutes a day, and take Sunday off". Most of us don't do that either, but that doesn't mean it's unreasonable.
posted by Bugbread at 5:29 AM on September 2, 2007

The longer test gave me 98. That sounds about right, assuming I dont get hit by a bus. It did ask whether any grandparent has lived past 98. It didn't allow me to add that three of them are alive and about to reach 100 - and in great health.

I'm about to turn 40 and people always tell me I look like I'm in my 20's. In college, I didnt much see the point of living past 35. Of course I knew nothing then. My life just got better and better. Its been one long uphill ride. I may be proven wrong but my past has give me plenty of optimism about the future.
posted by vacapinta at 9:13 AM on September 2, 2007

But what if you're allergic to fruits and vegetables? :(

(76. Ugh.)
posted by perilous at 10:34 AM on September 2, 2007

Awesome. I went by my real habits and got 84. I then did it again with everything the worst possible choices, and it says I'll die this year.
posted by papakwanz at 10:47 AM on September 2, 2007

67

But the last ten years will be bedridden in a senile stupor with machines keeping my lungs and heart going, and I'll be calling a funny smelling nurse "momma."
posted by ZachsMind at 1:02 PM on September 2, 2007

76 on the first link, 87 on the second. Apparently I'm living a healthy life, although it doesn't feel like it.

Feb 28 2045 (from deathclock) is the day when my helots will rise up and storm the citadel, though I'll only be 71 then, which seems to be short-changing me somewhat.

Adding 11 years to my oldest surviving relative would give till 2077 (104). With medical advances the way they are, I'm suspecting that's probably closest to reality.
posted by athenian at 4:08 PM on September 2, 2007

81 on the first, 85 on the second link. Not bad, although I know I need to exercise more.
posted by flatluigi at 8:21 PM on September 2, 2007

Ok, thought I finally had a plan for my 5 servings, but then a little more online reading resulted in my discovery that any amount of juice still just counts as one serving, due to lack of fibre and something else I can't quite remember. So I'm back to munching on carrots or something, like a damned rabbit.
posted by dreamsign at 8:34 PM on September 2, 2007

"I'm about to turn 40 and people always tell me I look like I'm in my 20's...My life just got better and better."

Feel the envy: I'm visualizing you with a huge ugly painful boil on the tip of your nose. Nam myoho renge ko!
posted by davy at 11:45 PM on September 2, 2007

Hey ZachsMind, you think that's funny, but the time I am 67 I'll be calling languagehat "mommy."
posted by davy at 11:46 PM on September 2, 2007

How the fuck do you eat more than 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day?


Easy. One loosely packed cup of leafy green veggies equals a serving. This is not an outrageous amount. You can fit at least five servings on one lunch plate. Add a little lean protein and you're good to go.

The authors of the original dietary standards really should have done a better job of defining the word "serving."
posted by jason's_planet at 10:33 AM on September 3, 2007

Sigh. Doing so well until all that Ecstasy and nitrous knocked a whole eight years off of my (91-year-old) life. Oh well - no centenary for me. Now gimme that tank...
posted by mykescipark at 3:45 AM on September 5, 2007

If I actually live til I'm 99 (as the test suggests) I will be very surprised-- that is, if I'm capable of emotions at that age!
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 8:13 PM on September 17, 2007