"Put your boob in my scotch. Come on, put your tit in my drink."

October 11, 2007 2:44 AM

Bob Log III plays distorted trash grimey blues slide guitar with his hands, he drawls through a telephone attached to the bubble face of the motorcycle helmet he wears, and he drums with his feet. He is known to ask women to stir his scotch on stage with their breasts, which is sadly Not currently Safe for Work. Sometimes he asks them to sit on his knee, bouncing up and down on the blue glittery jump suit he wears whenever he plays.

Bob Log III has an official site.

The official site has officially NSFW videos.

Of course Bob Log III has a wiki, some content of which is pretty amusing.

Bob Log III is just generally not safe for work, and as such is absolutely fantastic.

posted by 6am (45 comments total)

Maybe...shorten those links a little?

Also, Bob Log III is fucking retarded.
posted by Roman Graves at 3:02 AM on October 11, 2007

Doo Rag.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:06 AM on October 11, 2007 [2 favorites]

Also, Bob Log III is fucking retarded.

Aha! They also said that about Gibby Haynes!

and they were right
posted by psmealey at 3:10 AM on October 11, 2007

Fucking retardedly great.
posted by 6am at 3:16 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

metafilter: tits. in your scotch.
posted by quonsar at 3:38 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

This guy oughtta get together with Buckethead and The Residents for an all-star anonymous show. This shakuhachi player could open for them.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:41 AM on October 11, 2007

I think this helps me to understand humanity just a little bit less.
posted by dominik at 3:51 AM on October 11, 2007

Fucking retardedly great.

True. If that's retarded, I don't wanna be slightly smarter than retarded.
posted by psmealey at 4:01 AM on October 11, 2007 [2 favorites]

I declare this great. Doesn't look like he's playing Houston anytime soon though. For shame. I wanted to clap my tits at him.
posted by Brittanie at 4:13 AM on October 11, 2007

Hey, louche mustachio, thanks for that Doo Rag link. I didn't know about them, and that clip made me an instant fan.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:33 AM on October 11, 2007

Actually, Bob is a genius... it's the girls on stage with him that are idiots....
posted by HuronBob at 4:52 AM on October 11, 2007

There is actually a fine line between genius and retardation. Bob crosses over it and back again many times throughout the course of a single song.
posted by psmealey at 4:56 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Flapjax, one of the greatest shows I've seen in my life was a Doo Rag show at the Brewery in Raleigh. They set up in a corner by the bathroom - it fucked with expectations perfectly - and just ripped through an extended set of mayhem, with Bob Log singing into a vacuum cleaner hose. It was insanely great.
posted by mediareport at 5:03 AM on October 11, 2007

I have to weigh in on the side of retarded/retardedly great. I love/hate this. This should/should not be on Teh Blue. Let's kick him out/keep him here forever. Lets fabricate a plaque/burn his pants.

Oh, man! There's so many good/bad things about this!

In other news; Wesley Willis and Bob Log III have bastard love child born with prehensile tail. News at 11.
posted by Pecinpah at 5:50 AM on October 11, 2007

I saw this last week, on Bob Loblaw's law blog.
posted by hermitosis at 5:50 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

That suit must stink. I think I took this picture in '99.
posted by dobbs at 6:00 AM on October 11, 2007

Best of the web.
posted by sfts2 at 6:20 AM on October 11, 2007

This man is a credit to all IIIs everywhere.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:39 AM on October 11, 2007

This is the best metafilter post I've ever seen.
posted by zackola at 6:53 AM on October 11, 2007

Fuck you haters! That was awesome. Didn't know a thing about him but now I must know EVERYTHING. Love it, love it, love it.
posted by photoslob at 6:57 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

one of the greatest shows I've seen in my life was a Doo Rag show at the Brewery in Raleigh.

I was right there with you. It was around 1995. There were maybe 20 people there. I count it in the top 10 greatest shows I've ever seen.
posted by 3.2.3 at 7:10 AM on October 11, 2007

Great Wikipedia entry on Bob Log III
posted by psmealey at 7:17 AM on October 11, 2007

A gem from Wikipedia:

When asked if he had ever thrown up inside the helmet, Log said, "Not so that it landed in the helmet. I've got a hole for it to come out of. It doesn't happen that often. It only happens when I get a really fat girl on my knee and I try to play that song twice as fast as I normally do. It's like running with a backpack full of rocks."

There's more where that came from.
posted by Brittanie at 7:26 AM on October 11, 2007

And for Arrested Development fans, there is actually a Bob Loblaw Law Blog. (Or rather a lawyer named Robert Loblaw has a "law blog")
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:08 AM on October 11, 2007

I'll try that link again.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:09 AM on October 11, 2007

Raunchy fun. One man band Guyana style.
posted by nickyskye at 8:10 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Haven't RTFP cause I'm at work but it immeadiatley made me think of this joke:

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

'Fucking get in there you cunt!' he says to himself and goes to the bar. 'Get the fucking manager of this pigs shit middle class wankhole please you cunt', he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however obliges and his manager comes upstairs. 'Can I help you sir?' he says

'Yes you can you fat piece of shit, I saw your poxy advert in the cunting window and I'm here to audition.....wanker.'

The manager is naturally put off by the man's abrasive manner but his dire need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The first tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too involving, yet utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries, 'Wonderful, wonderful. What was that called?' 'That song, you big nosed twat, was called "Excuse me prime minister but I just jizzed in your daughter's eye, and now the cunts blind...'

'Oh' says the manager 'err, can you play me another. Something a little less "lively".

'Wanker..' interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty teardrops asks him the title. 'That little number was called "Sometimes when you do a bird up the shitbox you get crap on your bell end.'

'I see' says the manager, 'Have you got any songs with less offensive titles?' 'Well there's my jazz number "Do you want me to split your ringpiece", or there's the epic "I don't care if you're older my dear, you've still got nice jugs".

'Look' says the manager interrupting, 'I think you're a superb pianist but the title of your songs are a little "racy". I will hire you on the condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.'

'Fuck it' says the pianist 'Why not'.

On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up his repertoire and his silence is being perceived as modesty. The only thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and inviting cleavage. During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking hard on that he decides to go to the bog and knock one out. Just as he has shot his muck he hears himself being re-introduced over the tannoy, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act. After the show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him. 'Hi' she says. 'Hello' he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives. She leans over and whispers in his ear, 'Do you know your cock is hanging out of your trousers, and spunk is dribbling onto your shoes?'

'Know it?' says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently, 'I fucking wrote it!!!'

posted by daHIFI at 8:38 AM on October 11, 2007 [12 favorites]

I've always wondered when he'd show up here. I saw Bob Log III in Chicago with R. L. Burnside back in 1998 or so and it was the greatest evening of my life. I got a picture with the Log, but when it was developed I found he had pulled his hat down over his face. Who is the mystery?!?!
posted by kylefreund at 8:46 AM on October 11, 2007

Bob Log is great. Brittanie, fear not: I've seen him 3 or 4 times at Rudyard's. He loves the place and will no doubt be there again. Hopefully sooner than later.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 9:03 AM on October 11, 2007

Jesus Christ, sit on the guy's lap. Don't make him beg.
posted by unknowncommand at 9:12 AM on October 11, 2007

Variety headline: "BOB LOBLAW LAW BLOG LOBS "BOB LOG" BOMB"
posted by kcds at 9:28 AM on October 11, 2007 [2 favorites]

At work. But I'm fucking glad I clicked this link. Thanks, daHIFI.
posted by koeselitz at 11:24 AM on October 11, 2007

i am very sad that arrested development is gone.

but i'll take bob log in the interim.
posted by joeblough at 11:30 AM on October 11, 2007

I fell asleep under a table at a Doo Rag show long ago in Raleigh. There weren't many people there, and I remember being so, so tired. Maybe it was the vacuum cleaner that lulled me into dreamland.
posted by pinky at 11:32 AM on October 11, 2007

joeblough, liking him doesn't make for as splashy a headline: "BOB LOG FOE JOEBLOUGH LONGS FOR BLOWN SHOW"
posted by hermitosis at 11:56 AM on October 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

everything the white stripe(s) should have been [if they'd bothered with the humour bit], crossed with Screamin Jay Hawkins. Fantastic. Great post - thanks.
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 12:51 PM on October 11, 2007

Idiotic or not, I found myself wondering how solicitous that one girl would feel about Irish whiskey....
posted by pax digita at 2:42 PM on October 11, 2007

Can't believe YouTube took down the boob scotch vid.

LAME.
posted by psmealey at 3:12 PM on October 11, 2007

A friend took me to see him perform in Ottawa about 8 years ago. It was very odd.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 4:33 PM on October 11, 2007

I can't expain why, but Bob Log brings me endless joy.

Here's a replacement Boob Scotch. For censored FPP boobies.
posted by 6am at 4:51 PM on October 11, 2007

And a String on a Stick video for better sound and mentalness.
posted by 6am at 4:54 PM on October 11, 2007

"I'm a professional, God damn it. I live in a car."

Fucking awesome. This post made my day, 6am.
posted by psmealey at 6:19 PM on October 11, 2007

There were maybe 20 people there. I count it in the top 10 greatest shows I've ever seen.

*high five* The tiny crowd is one of the things that made it so great; it was like the best, most secretest genius art show ever, for almost no one. There was even someone sleeping under a table through the whole thing.
posted by mediareport at 6:22 PM on October 11, 2007

Also, Bob Log III is fucking retarded.

Yeah, he likes scotch and tits. Whatta dummy.
posted by jonmc at 6:43 PM on October 11, 2007

Bob was my neighbor for about a year in the early 90s. We lived in an old house that had been divided up into four apartments. The bathroom of my apartment was created from the former front hall, and when we drained the bathtub, water rose up between the floorboards. Rumor had it that the house had originally been built in the late 1800s as a whore house, and that the woman who lived in my apartment before me had been frequently and badly beaten by her boyfriend. I'm not a superstitious person, but if I've ever lived anywhere inhabited by a malicious energy, it was that place.

Bob was a good neighbor though, very nice, as was his slender, dark-haired girlfriend, whose name I wish I could remember. They were very cool about my new kitten, who was runt rejected by her mother, and due to seperation anxiety, cried all day when I went to work.

Doo Rag was a great band to see, and made up in some small way for the loss of Mondo Guano, although the loss of the best live band in the history of ever leaves some scars even now. For some reason, we all thought Brad (Thermos) would be the first person we knew who would actually die from alcohol poisoning, but I guess he just up and quit Doo Rag instead.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:02 AM on October 12, 2007 [2 favorites]