Bicycles
October 31, 2007 10:45 AM Subscribe
"Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of mankind" - H.G. Wells
posted by nonreflectiveobject at 10:53 AM on October 31, 2007
Sexual breach of the peace. When the maid used a key to enter his locked room.
Case closed, your honor.
posted by DU at 11:05 AM on October 31, 2007
Case closed, your honor.
posted by DU at 11:05 AM on October 31, 2007
Doctors found that Mangetout's stomach lining is twice as thick as a normal stomach lining, which explains why he is able to digest these things.
The implication being that many people TRY to eat TVs and airplanes, but find their stomachs can't take it?
posted by DU at 11:06 AM on October 31, 2007
The implication being that many people TRY to eat TVs and airplanes, but find their stomachs can't take it?
posted by DU at 11:06 AM on October 31, 2007
Yeah, I think they got cause and effect reversed there.
posted by GuyZero at 11:11 AM on October 31, 2007
posted by GuyZero at 11:11 AM on October 31, 2007
What a lame mutate ability.....
posted by Mastercheddaar at 11:26 AM on October 31, 2007
posted by Mastercheddaar at 11:26 AM on October 31, 2007
In other news, area man arrested for having sex with his right hand.
Seriously, where is the line drawn?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:37 AM on October 31, 2007
Seriously, where is the line drawn?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:37 AM on October 31, 2007
Why isn't a man allowed to have sex with a consenting bicycle in the privacy of his own hotel room?
posted by Maias at 11:43 AM on October 31, 2007
If he had sex with a unicycle, would it have been considered masturbation, and therefore, been ok?
posted by Shfishp at 12:06 PM on October 31, 2007
posted by Shfishp at 12:06 PM on October 31, 2007
Won't someone think of the tricycles?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:15 PM on October 31, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:15 PM on October 31, 2007 [4 favorites]
Most bicycles don't have the mental capacity or maturity to consent to sex.
posted by Citizen Premier at 12:22 PM on October 31, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by Citizen Premier at 12:22 PM on October 31, 2007 [3 favorites]
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
He would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pedaling kids.
-or-
He would've had more success if the bike hadn't been a fixie.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:22 PM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]
He would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pedaling kids.
-or-
He would've had more success if the bike hadn't been a fixie.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:22 PM on October 31, 2007 [1 favorite]
Why isn't a man allowed to have sex with a consenting bicycle in the privacy of his own hotel room?
It's a gateway thing. They start off in the privacy of their hotel rooms, but before you know it, they're out on the high street with special sniffing equipment, inhaling the seat odours of any random bike that happens to be chained to a lamppost.
Much better to nip it in the bud.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:27 PM on October 31, 2007
It's a gateway thing. They start off in the privacy of their hotel rooms, but before you know it, they're out on the high street with special sniffing equipment, inhaling the seat odours of any random bike that happens to be chained to a lamppost.
Much better to nip it in the bud.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:27 PM on October 31, 2007
And of course, this guy started off making love to bicycles and look where he ended up.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:31 PM on October 31, 2007
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:31 PM on October 31, 2007
I want to see Chris Hanson impersonate a bicycle online, to lure these deviants to their doom on television. I we can even save ONE BICYCLE from abuse, it'll be worth it.
posted by everichon at 1:00 PM on October 31, 2007
posted by everichon at 1:00 PM on October 31, 2007
How do you know the bicycle was consenting?
Just because he took a seat....
posted by bassjump at 1:40 PM on October 31, 2007
Just because he took a seat....
posted by bassjump at 1:40 PM on October 31, 2007
Two things I never thought of doing to a bicycle. Though I have done both on a bicycle.
That's right I'm bragging.
And lying.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2007
That's right I'm bragging.
And lying.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:53 PM on October 31, 2007
There's a sex offenders list of people who molest bicycles?
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:13 PM on October 31, 2007
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:13 PM on October 31, 2007
I don't fuck tykes and I don't fuck trikes. The end.
posted by Falconetti at 6:59 PM on October 31, 2007
posted by Falconetti at 6:59 PM on October 31, 2007
Who's explaining to me what's the relationship between the first link and th last two?
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 5:49 AM on November 1, 2007
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 5:49 AM on November 1, 2007
Who's explaining to me what's the relationship between the first link and th last two?
...Bicycles.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:40 AM on November 1, 2007
...Bicycles.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:40 AM on November 1, 2007
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
I was just emailing my cyclist friend in Scotland about this. He claims a) he has not yet had sex with his bicycle, and b) the guy who had sex with pavement just wanted to see how the asphalt.
posted by LeLiLo at 10:49 AM on October 31, 2007 [4 favorites]