Dear Metafilter,--Wait, you'll definitely respond.

November 7, 2007 8:18 AM

Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond. start anywhere.
posted by milestogo (25 comments total)

INGREDIENTS
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 cup butter
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
2. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and mashed bananas until well blended. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 60 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:29 AM on November 7, 2007

not what I expected...
posted by milestogo at 8:31 AM on November 7, 2007

Why hasn't someone posted a link to McSweeney's before? Also, where are the links to this "Onion" newspaper that I've been hearing about?
posted by horsemuth at 8:35 AM on November 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

Sort of a double. A one-and-a-halfle?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:35 AM on November 7, 2007

This made me laugh.

And this one.

Also, from the same site, thought it would worth linking this again.
posted by leibniz at 8:49 AM on November 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

Oh hallelujah, our problems are solved. We have banana bread.
posted by ALongDecember at 8:50 AM on November 7, 2007

This one made me laugh. And that door pulling one leibniz linked to.
posted by yoga at 9:04 AM on November 7, 2007

Funny Stuff!
posted by thewalrusispaul at 9:10 AM on November 7, 2007

Onstad weighs in.

Then again, I submit to (and am rejected by) the site frequently, so I really can't talk.
posted by The White Hat at 9:11 AM on November 7, 2007

Dear milestogo,

Lists are funnier.

Sincerely,
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:14 AM on November 7, 2007

The open letter to Ann Coulter got a chuckle.
posted by ook at 9:20 AM on November 7, 2007

After last night's dog masturbation video post, my eyes are grateful for the text-bath.
posted by hermitosis at 9:21 AM on November 7, 2007

yeah, sure, we've seen it before, but it is always fun to run across it again...

Killed 20 minutes while I ate lunch... :)

funny stuff... thanks!
posted by HuronBob at 9:40 AM on November 7, 2007

The open letter to Ann Coulter got a chuckle.

Not nearly as good as the one by Henry Rollins.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:59 AM on November 7, 2007

Scrubs are actually very comfortable. They make great pajamas. When I was in high school, my Dad worked as security for a hospital, and he'd bring scrubs home. He said they were just gonna throw them away. I used them like PJs throughout my teen years, and for just puttering around the house. Dad did too. I mighta mowed the lawn in them a couple times. Really. They're very comfy. I went to a convenience store in them one night and the guy behind the desk there presumed I was a doctor. That was a strange conversation. I almost corrected him but then figured what the hell let him think that.

It wasn't until many years later that it occurred to me these were used scrubs. I mean some doctor wore them once while blood was spurting out of a patient. Dad washed them of course. I never saw them with blood on them, but still. Cringeworthy. I wear sweat pants for PJs now, and if I wear them to the convenience store, the guy presumes I exercise, and I let him think that.

Last time I went to a hospital I saw they were selling scrubs in the gift shop. I don't think they were used, but still. Gives me the willies thinking about it now. I also can't watch the TV show Scrubs. Freaks me out.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:30 AM on November 7, 2007

Just reading this bit made the click worthwhile...

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you fucking kidding me?

Too fucking funny.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:33 AM on November 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

I wish the Always maxi pad woman would get period-free birth control. Or prescription painkillers.
posted by birdie birdington at 11:11 AM on November 7, 2007

Overqualified
posted by Reggie Digest at 11:11 AM on November 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Aw, I do yardwork in my scrubs. I don't give a shit what the neighbors think, and they're easy to clean. Haters wish they could wear drawstring pants to work.
posted by makonan at 12:04 PM on November 7, 2007

DEAR PICKEL JUICE,

DID I GET YOU FREE WITH THE PICKELS OR ARE YOU A HIDDEN COST? IS IT A SCAM?
posted by straight at 12:23 PM on November 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

Lazlo Toth wants his schtick back.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:41 PM on November 7, 2007

Along a similar line...

To Whom it May Concern
posted by schyler523 at 4:22 PM on November 7, 2007

I'm a Fergis fan, myself.
posted by raider at 5:11 PM on November 7, 2007

Dear God (or Morrissey or Oprah) Please Help Me.
posted by ibeji at 6:23 AM on November 8, 2007

Don't forget Letters from a Nut.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 6:54 PM on November 8, 2007