Vintage Vertiginous Vaudevillian

November 8, 2007 3:09 PM

Ben Dova the Drunk Daredevil, contortionist, Hindenburg survivor and one of the 10 most unfortunately named people on the internets.
posted by tellurian (75 comments total)

What? No Rudolf Lipschitz?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:17 PM on November 8, 2007

The academic Dream Team, featuring Professor Chew Shit Fun
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:18 PM on November 8, 2007

and Dr. Anil Kumar Dikshit who basically tops everything.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:19 PM on November 8, 2007

There was a Ben Dover in my high school. I really can't imagine what his parents were thinking. I can only hope they didn't realize what they were doing.
posted by recursion at 3:24 PM on November 8, 2007

Dr Dikshit is mentioned in that last link - just next to Sally Mangina.
posted by patricio at 3:25 PM on November 8, 2007

Dang, I really wish my old neighbour would get a myspace/facebook/smokinggun profile.

Ophelia Dick
posted by mattoxic at 3:25 PM on November 8, 2007

patricio, that's a different Dikshit. My Dikshit is Anil Dikshit.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:28 PM on November 8, 2007

My apologies! Correct identification of Dikshits is important.

I blame hippie parents.
posted by patricio at 3:33 PM on November 8, 2007

There's an insurance salesman in SF named Dick Pricker.

And I once worked with Mike Hunt. (Say it out loud.)
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 3:33 PM on November 8, 2007

Well, the UK School Secretary is an old ally of G. Brown's named Ed Balls. I can't help but giggle very time I hear his name on the radio. It's a name that should only be preceded by 'veteran funnyman'.
posted by Flashman at 3:41 PM on November 8, 2007

Dr. Dick Chopp the urologist is pretty funny.
posted by MythMaker at 3:43 PM on November 8, 2007

Since 1981, Dr. Tits has been with the University of Maryland, College Park.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:43 PM on November 8, 2007

I work with a guy named Ryan Adair Dick.

I went to high school with two brothers named Garren and Warren. Their last name was Teed (no shit. Sutherlin, OR).
posted by Pecinpah at 3:45 PM on November 8, 2007

Is Mike Hunt here?
posted by psmealey at 3:48 PM on November 8, 2007

I knew a guy whose last name was Cowherd, pronounced "coward" so he changed his name to Dr. Gray. I read somewhere that a lot of people who change their names because they are embarrasing choose colors like gray or brown or white. Not sure if it is true though, but it always make me wonder what their real name was when I meet someone with one of those surnames.
posted by vronsky at 3:49 PM on November 8, 2007

I'm Tom Mehoff, I'm looking for my brother Jack, is he there?
posted by porn in the woods at 3:50 PM on November 8, 2007

Dikshit & Asstes

Dikshit & Co

Deep Dikshit

Dr. Strange
posted by nickyskye at 3:52 PM on November 8, 2007

When I was in High School, we had a Michael Hunt (Mike) that was in student government. He got called down to the office over the intercom about once a week or so, which led to much hilarity during homeroom.
posted by empath at 4:03 PM on November 8, 2007

Do you think Dr Chopp agonized over his career choice at all?
posted by empath at 4:11 PM on November 8, 2007

There's an insurance agent in my town named Lee King. Also, I used to know a guy named Don Loser. Which is more sad than funny. He pronounced it differently but still.
posted by puke & cry at 4:11 PM on November 8, 2007

Once knew a kid named Wayne. Last name Dwop. Yeah... he changed schools a lot.

Also used to do secretarial work for a company with a client named Hang Bang Wang. Every time I typed his name I laughed.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:12 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I know a professor whose office library includes books of theology, political philosophy, and ornithology. Whenever I'm visiting and he turns his back I combine books from each of these disciplines to create a fourth object of study: Honest to God Leviathan British Tits.

Maybe you have to be there.
posted by sy at 4:14 PM on November 8, 2007

I've always been found of Dick Trickle.
posted by F Mackenzie at 4:18 PM on November 8, 2007

anita bone (scroll down)
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 4:18 PM on November 8, 2007

fond, anyway.
posted by F Mackenzie at 4:18 PM on November 8, 2007

I'm inclined to think I've met Ben's sister Eileen.

(She was in a girl-group called the Eponyms ... with Barb Dwyer and Shanti Towne.)
posted by rob511 at 4:19 PM on November 8, 2007

I ran across a Woosevelt Dortilus a while back. Nothing obscene, but it sure is fun to say. Also a Trang Dang to go with lynnster's Hang Bang Wang. Apparently, though, that one's less funny in Vietnamese since they don't really rhyme — different tones.
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:21 PM on November 8, 2007

She was in a girl-group called the Eponyms

What did they call their first album?
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:22 PM on November 8, 2007

Don't forget jazz great Dick Hyman.
posted by jbickers at 4:30 PM on November 8, 2007

I played football with a guy named Richard Ramsbottom. That's right, Dick Rams Bottom was the guy's fucking name!

I also have a bro-in-law last name of Little, who has a friend last name Dick. They belong to the same golf club and when they are paired in an event, the sign on their cart says "Little / Dick" which cracks up everyone.
posted by autodidact at 4:31 PM on November 8, 2007

When I went to the Pentagon on a tour, I was told there was a Navy Seaman stationed as a tour guide named Maximus Cummings. Seriously.

That was on the tour I went on when I was in Air Force JROTC back in high school, where the head of it was an Air Force colonel by the name of Weiner.
posted by champthom at 4:34 PM on November 8, 2007

I went to summer camp with Justin Case.
posted by ericb at 4:35 PM on November 8, 2007

Navy Seaman stationed as a tour guide named Maximus Cummings. Seriously.

Ah, so he was of the seamen on the poop deck?
posted by ericb at 4:36 PM on November 8, 2007

Well, I did know three brothers my stepfather used to teach -

Hermin...

Thermin...

and...

(wait for it...)

(wait for it...)

Vermin.

I've also known a Harry Dick (parents said they would have named a daughter Sharon), a Clifford Leeper, a Crystal Chandra Lear, as well as three sibling, Truly Gold, Shirley Silver, and Justin Copper...

There's more, but those are the highlights...
posted by Samizdata at 4:37 PM on November 8, 2007

Oh yeah I also worked at a private golf club where the head chef's name was Werner Rost. Naturally everyone called him "weenie roast", not the nickname a chef wants.
posted by autodidact at 4:37 PM on November 8, 2007

Oh, and Doctor Beaglehole. Too many dogfuckers are totally indiscriminate when it comes to breed. It's good to hear from a guy who's willing to get specific.
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:38 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I had a classmate in High School named Mike Hawk. I think because his parents were Canadian they didn't know any better.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2007

Randy Bender vs Dick Gaylord.

My sister went to school with a guy called Ty Alan Down. She also taught a kid called Crystal Shandle Lear, although neither of those two are rude, and therefore they're not that funny.
posted by nylon at 4:44 PM on November 8, 2007

My high school friend's dad was named "Harold Butts."
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:53 PM on November 8, 2007

Wha? No Dick Trickle?
posted by HyperBlue at 4:55 PM on November 8, 2007

Sorry, F Mackenzie guess I should RTFT before commehnting
posted by HyperBlue at 4:57 PM on November 8, 2007

Ahhh, Dick Trickle. Always a fave.

I used to work with a really nice woman named Crystal Lemon. I was always strangely thirsty around her.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:03 PM on November 8, 2007

My mother had a student with a name which was pronounced Lee-mun-geel-oh. All well and good till you saw how it was spelled:

Lemon Jello.
posted by quin at 5:17 PM on November 8, 2007

I went to a dentist in Seattle named Anita Fok. This was the only online reference I could quickly find for her (fourth down on left). I was never sure how to say her last name. Good thing you don't have to talk a lot when you're at the dentist anyway.
posted by IcyJuly at 5:20 PM on November 8, 2007

Also: I need to add 'Drunk Daredevil' to my list of things that I want printed on business cards.
posted by quin at 5:20 PM on November 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

There are professors where I work with last names of Johnson, Cox, and Weiner. There was a a good skit about them forming a superhero trio with penis-logo capes.
posted by pombe at 5:31 PM on November 8, 2007

Wasn't there recently an FTC commissioner by the name of Fraud?
posted by oncogenesis at 5:39 PM on November 8, 2007

My mother had a student with a name which was pronounced Lee-mun-geel-oh. All well and good till you saw how it was spelled:

Lemon Jello.

The tale needs to include Lemonjello's brother Orangejello.

Quickly getting into Snopes material here.
posted by Tube at 5:49 PM on November 8, 2007

There's a firm called Hood, Pagan and Associates across the river in West Memphis.
posted by bunnytricks at 6:02 PM on November 8, 2007

There's a Mrs. Bird Brane buried in a cemetery in Patchogue, New York. I can only assume she married for love.
posted by Phlogiston at 6:02 PM on November 8, 2007

The Car Talk credits.
posted by stavrogin at 6:04 PM on November 8, 2007

Yeah, I'm wondering how many of you are just making these up. Especially the two different people that knew Crystal Shandle Lear.
posted by puke & cry at 6:16 PM on November 8, 2007

Or shandra or whatever.
posted by puke & cry at 6:18 PM on November 8, 2007

Oh, and Harry Rectanus.
posted by bunnytricks at 6:34 PM on November 8, 2007

Quickly getting into Snopes material here.

That's awesome! Because I actually didn't believer her either, so she brought home her printed attendance sheet to prove me wrong.

Which means that someone heard about this legend, and named their kid it anyways (or my mom faked her attendance sheet, which I suppose is also possible.)

I did go to school with a kid named Rusty Ford. He was pretty cool. (And drove a Chevy if I recall correctly.)
posted by quin at 6:55 PM on November 8, 2007

I went to high school with a guy called Sal(vatore) Minella. The owner of my old laundromat was Long Fuk, and through work I met a man called Dr. Cuppy Booty. Doctor, mind you.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 7:13 PM on November 8, 2007

I was pleased to have business dealings with Sandy Seymour-Pusey in the Caymans.
posted by patricio at 7:54 PM on November 8, 2007

Growing up, a boss my dad had was named Dusty Rhodes.
posted by drleary at 7:58 PM on November 8, 2007

My dad dated a psycho hillbilly named Amy Dangler.

Her father is Harry Dangler.
posted by hermitosis at 8:10 PM on November 8, 2007

So, how was that stunt on the Chanin Building, amazing, yeah?
posted by tellurian at 8:33 PM on November 8, 2007

puke and cry -

Gosh, thanks for doubting my personal life, puke and cry, especially as the Lear family (as in Lear Jet) ALSO decided to name their daughter Shanda (Warning PDF link from Montana state government)...

I just bet you have a strong stomach and dry eyes...

Tellurian -

Speaking of the earlier portion of this post, I felt deeply unnerved. DEEPLY. As in Dramamine unnerved.
posted by Samizdata at 8:45 PM on November 8, 2007

Wow do I ever get annoyed reading Snopes. I don't go there to read some preachy pseudo-psychological reasoning for a stupid story's existance. Just tell me if something actually happened or not.

Snopes' desire to explain the mindsets of the myths' creators is clearly due to the lack of attention its writers received as children.
posted by ODiV at 8:57 PM on November 8, 2007

This thread instantly made me think of Ima Hogg.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:59 PM on November 8, 2007

When I was a kid in summercamp one of my bunkmates was thinking of being an OBGYN. Granted we were around middle-school age at that point....


his name was Mark Heimann
posted by Sam.Burdick at 10:12 PM on November 8, 2007

My real name is Tom-Tom Mancock.

Pronounced Man-Coe.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 2:09 AM on November 9, 2007

Quickly getting into Snopes material here.

From said Snopes page:

Some Legendary Names:

Mark Lemongello -- A pitcher for the Houston Astros in the 1970s.

I did like this bit though:

My friend R.B. Jones doesn't have a first or middle name — only the initials R.B. This unusual arrangement was never a problem until he went to work for a government agency. The government is not accustomed to initialed employees, so R.B. had a lot of explaining to do. On the official forms for the payroll and personnel departments, his name was carefully entered as R (Only) B (Only) Jones.

Sure enough, when R.B. got his pay check, it was made out to Ronly Bonly Jones.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:13 AM on November 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ben Dover, I'll drive.

My favorite name was some guy on public radio. Can't recall if he was from National, or a Wisconsin station (mid 1990's). His name was pronounced Wah Feek I You. Nothing at all wrong with that! But geez, how many times do people respond with "Well, fuck you too!"? It just sounds kind of required, you know?

As for Dr. Strange, I've a friend named Strange, and he has a PhD.
posted by Goofyy at 2:45 AM on November 9, 2007

I swear to Google, when I was a file clerk at a hospital, there was a male patient Farris Wheeler.

At a school where my ex was teaching when we met (Hartsville, SC) one student was a Lemonjello somebody-or-other.

Bill Lear's daughter's name was Shanda.
posted by pax digita at 2:48 AM on November 9, 2007

I knew a soy researcher in college named Robin Swindle.
posted by Locative at 3:29 AM on November 9, 2007

There's a disturbing lack of Gaye Males in this thread.
posted by snarkywench at 3:34 AM on November 9, 2007

We obviously can't go without mentioning Ufuk Uras, the Turkish politician.
posted by 999 at 4:52 AM on November 9, 2007

Ram Dass
posted by kirkaracha at 5:42 AM on November 9, 2007

Samson Dutch Boy Gym is a famous Thai boxer.
posted by longbaugh at 11:24 AM on November 9, 2007

I went to high school with a guy called Sal(vatore) Minella.

Friends of mine have a son, Sam and a daughter Ella. Sam and Ella. I think they're tired of me always asking: "Where's E. Coli?"
posted by ericb at 11:36 AM on November 9, 2007

My flatmate doesn't use a surname. When he went to the US, apparently his visa read something like:

First Name: Kiran^*

Last Name: LNU _{(Last Name Unavailable)}

Took him a while to understand why people were calling him Mr Lnu. ("Oh hi, Mr... say, how do you pronounce your last name?")

Also, Dikshit isn't, well, I'd say it a surname that merely has an unfortunate transliteration. In fact, it's pronounced as deeeksheet. Then again, that's a problem with just about all the names here, isn't it.
--
_{* - Not his real name.}
posted by the cydonian at 8:13 PM on November 9, 2007