Grieving Widow

December 12, 2007 3:39 PM

Brenda is broken hearted, but not everyone thought he was a saint. Some of his closest colleagues barely knew him. Farewell, Bruce Evanick, whatever kind of person you were.
posted by msconduct (41 comments total)

For the life of me, I can not figure out why this is posted on Metafilter....

Someone explain this to me....
posted by HuronBob at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2007

Is this some sly attack on obitfilter, or am I missing something?
posted by xmutex at 3:45 PM on December 12, 2007

Please, the obit is hilarious. Read it! Shit, people.
posted by raysmj at 3:49 PM on December 12, 2007

I thought the obit was interesting and well written, I'd guess his wife is as much a character as he was.
posted by rotifer at 3:50 PM on December 12, 2007

Oh I get it!

"Bruce Evanick's obituary was composed, written, and submitted by Brenda Evanick. All thoughts, opinions and declarations in it are ENTIRELY hers and do not reflect input from any other persons, LIVING OR DEAD, other than those presented as quotations."
posted by Avenger50 at 3:52 PM on December 12, 2007

We spend way too much time fumbling to say nice things about people when they die, and these, especially the article of recollections from colleagues, were refreshing.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 3:54 PM on December 12, 2007

There's a lot of pathos in that obituary.

Touching and troubling at the same time.
posted by batmonkey at 3:54 PM on December 12, 2007

"Please, the obit is hilarious. Read it! Shit, people."

You've got to be kidding...

When I die, I hope someone takes the time to write something this touching....

damn..when we start laughing at this, we've reached the bottom of the barrel...
posted by HuronBob at 3:56 PM on December 12, 2007

Who is this guy? Must I divvy up my daily dot between him and Ike Turner today?
: <---split obit
posted by iamkimiam at 3:57 PM on December 12, 2007

I'm certain that someone can do justice to this guy's story, but not his wife, not now.

A heartfelt . to all the passed eccentrics of that town.

Hey, it's Ms. Conduct! Hi! I was a non-affiliate DJ at WTUL for a few summers! Hi!
posted by suckerpunch at 3:57 PM on December 12, 2007

I said that wrong... "if we start laughing at this, we ARE the bottom of the barrel.."
posted by HuronBob at 3:58 PM on December 12, 2007

He was from Scranton, PA.

And seriously, I know it's an obituary, but has anyone ever heard of paragraph breaks?
posted by Caduceus at 4:02 PM on December 12, 2007

i still don't see anything to laugh about or be interested in. some dude died. he was pretty smart. not terribly well-liked, but probably respected. loved by his wife (duh), who happens to write a somewhat clever obit. am i missing something?
posted by blendor at 4:03 PM on December 12, 2007

It's a revenge obit, as far as I know a whole new subgenre unto itself. She basically tells the firm to go screw itself at the end, which is pretty wild for an obit. And he knew textiles intimately, etc. "Bruce had been seduced into a sedentary and high stress life style after he moved to New Orleans ..." But of course all that money helped him buy a big house at Algiers Point (a really nice, historic area) and get into fine rugs and whatnot. Of course there's humor in there, although I can relate to wanting to tell the employer to stick it, was flabbergasted by someone saying so in an obit. I loved it.
posted by raysmj at 4:05 PM on December 12, 2007

I thought this was fascinating. The rambling, accusatory nature of his wife-written obituary (she keeps sneaking little digs in, such as he fact that only one of her husband's coworkers called on her after her husband's death, even though she confesses that they may have though they were divorced). The second obit, which dispenses with pleasantries to pain a portrait of a brilliant, difficult-to-know man who comes off as being a real pain to deal with.

If obits were always this untidy, they would be a lot more interesting.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:08 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Rayjms:
"She basically tells the firm to go screw itself at the end,"

She does that right at the start:
"EVANICK Robert Bruce Evanick (always known as Bruce to those who loved him - and those who employed him and exploited his work ethic)"

There was alot going on there. I'm glad she didn't hold back.
posted by amethysts at 4:12 PM on December 12, 2007

That was pretty amazing. Everyone, in their own way, contains multitudes.
posted by gwint at 4:25 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

He loved and thoroughly enjoyed and knew gourmet food, superb Scotch and made the world's best chocolate chip cookies.

He'll be missed.

.
posted by snsranch at 5:05 PM on December 12, 2007

He clerked for all seven sitting judges at that time. It was at that time that he got the nickname "The Wizard".

Clerked for 7 judges at one time? The Wizard indeed.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:10 PM on December 12, 2007

I don't understand this post - it doesn't mention the election or the internet or global warming! It must be lame!

I liked it, thanks.
posted by freebird at 5:28 PM on December 12, 2007

Paging ColdChef.

ColdChef to thread 67390, stat! Code blue!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:42 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

This is a terrific post. An unusual obituary for an unusual man, which (unlike lots of things on the blue) none of us would otherwise have seen.
posted by escabeche at 5:45 PM on December 12, 2007

I've got to come back with... I guess I didn't get it... although my "don't laugh" post was appropriate in a way, I misread this, and the comments..

I gotta like Brenda... And the post was worthwhile...

Nobody was laughing at Bruce or Brenda... they were laughing with them..

I just HATE it when I'm an idiot....

Good for you.... both of you...
posted by HuronBob at 5:49 PM on December 12, 2007

Bruce had been seduced into a sedentary and high stress life style after he moved to New Orleans by the promise of "big money" from a corporate defense law firm. Essentially, his succumbing to that seduction and his devotion to duty caused his death.

Why, there oughta be a law!

(We can call it Bruce's Law. And it will come with a database of some sort.)
posted by oncogenesis at 5:52 PM on December 12, 2007

Yikes. There's a whole lot going on in that obituary. So much anger...so much between the lines.

I truly hope she's able to find peace. To live with that kind of hatred is not good for anyone.

“He was arrogant. I was trying to describe him without using that word. But he was smarter than you, and he let you know it. People did not give him the respect he actually deserved. He was an outstanding lawyer. He didn't care what people thought about him at all.”

Hmmm...seems like his wife wasn't the only one who carried a chip. Sad to see New Orleans lose another "character."
posted by ColdChef at 6:11 PM on December 12, 2007

Go Brenda.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:35 PM on December 12, 2007

I can only hope that when I die someone is moved enough to write something like this. But I doubt it. Bruce Evanick was a lucky man, and Brenda devoted and loyal. May they both find peace.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:31 PM on December 12, 2007

"Graff characterized Evanick in colorful but unprintable terms after learning of his death."

He'll be missed.
posted by _dario at 7:42 PM on December 12, 2007

I think this is a great post.
posted by bicyclefish at 7:52 PM on December 12, 2007

You people don't understand--the world's best chocolate cookies just got worse!
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:12 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Best post I've seen in some time. Thanks.
posted by arse_hat at 10:33 PM on December 12, 2007

Fascinating.


It sounds like he might have had Asperger's Syndrome - the high intelligence and low social skills are big clues - but whatever... Good catch.
posted by yiftach at 11:27 PM on December 12, 2007

You know who else had Asperger's Syndrome?

Depending on who you ask, everybody.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:08 AM on December 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wow, msconduct, nicely done. This post is a refreshing example of what makes metafilter awesome. I've never heard of this guy and I don't mourn his passing. But the obit is just solid gold. it's backbiting and catty and ... wow. If only all of us could have such a breadth of opinion and fact printed about us when we passed on.
posted by Happydaz at 2:15 AM on December 13, 2007

You know who else had Asperger's Syndrome?

Depending on who you ask, everybody.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:08 AM on December 13 [+] [!]

it's a disease you catch from the internet.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:08 AM on December 13, 2007

Please, the obit is hilarious. Read it!

As soon as nola.com discovers proper punctuation and text formatting, I will.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:23 AM on December 13, 2007

Nobody else thinks its strange that dear ol' weeping Brenda was separated from Bruce for several years? It seems as if she couldn't stand to deal with him on a daily basis either. As such, she could afford to take it a bit easier on his work colleagues for not undertaking the burden of getting to know him well.

Grieving widow and all that, I understand. She naturally remembers all of the fine qualities about him and conveniently forgets the eccentricities and quirks that apparently made him a bit of an asshole.
posted by wabashbdw at 6:43 AM on December 13, 2007

Wow. Like escabeche says, great post, msconduct.
posted by jamesonandwater at 7:37 AM on December 13, 2007

As soon as nola.com discovers proper punctuation and text formatting, I will.

Sometimes being unconcerned with design, and whether the Times-Pic people corrected a paid obit's grammar, is worth the extra effort. It would have taken about as much time as it did to post the above.
posted by raysmj at 10:28 AM on December 13, 2007

Sometimes being unconcerned with design
Screw design. A page-long pile of words with not a single line break or paragraph? That simply screams "pass me by", no matter how funny you may think the text is.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:21 AM on December 13, 2007

Well, OK. Yikes. Go waste your time in another thread then.
posted by raysmj at 12:39 PM on December 13, 2007