Salvation Lies Within

December 18, 2007 9:22 AM

The holes in the men’s cells were covered by revealing photographs of women in bikinis, which officials displayed at Monday’s news conference. Grudgingly, Mr. Romankow acknowledged the similarity to the film “The Shawshank Redemption.”
posted by brevator (28 comments total)

After watching a lot of Speed Racer, I developed a general protocol called the Spritle Check. In Speed Racer, Spritle and Chim-Chim were almost always hiding the car's truck. I mean, nearly every episode featured this silly little plot device, and Spritle and Chim-Chim often foiled the bad guy's plans because they jumped out of the trunk at the right time to save the day.

The Spritle Check, then, is a check where, "Before we continue, despite having no negative evidence, let's all pretend we're incredibly stupid and check the most blindingly obvious thing imaginable."

As in, "We're going on a car trip. Let's make sure that fucking kid Spritle and his goddam monkey isn't hiding in the trunk."

So ... you'd think a prison guard would have the same kind of protocol.

Bikini pictures hanging in the cell? Let's all pretend we're stupid and look behind them.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:37 AM on December 18, 2007 [6 favorites]

Looks like Stephen King is gonna sue somebody.



Seriously, though, in my opinion they should probably go free just for having been able to get away with something that should have been just painfully obvious to any prison guard.
posted by spirit72 at 9:46 AM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I find myself wanting them to get away with it just because they did something awesome, although I know doing something not so awesome is why they were there, and that the world at large would likely be safer if they were there still. I also find myself wanting to see the pinups, for some reason...
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:52 AM on December 18, 2007

Bikini pictures hanging in the cell? Let's all pretend we're stupid and look behind them.

Especially since IT WASN'T THE FIRST ATTEMPT!
posted by brevator at 9:54 AM on December 18, 2007

This escape attempt is futile without pictures.
posted by DU at 10:02 AM on December 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

In the previous attempt, one of the inmates was eight feet tall and had mystical healing powers.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:11 AM on December 18, 2007

This AP video has a brief glimpse of the pin-up pics, also some of the other tools used
posted by brevator at 10:18 AM on December 18, 2007

I've often wondered how many people actually try to escape from prison. I'm guessing the number is shockingly low. This leads me to believe that actually escaping from prison is probably easier than one would imagine.

or not.
posted by billyfleetwood at 10:19 AM on December 18, 2007

This thread is useless without narration from Morgan Freeman.
posted by bondcliff at 10:19 AM on December 18, 2007 [10 favorites]

It's especially bad because Shawshank was even a rip-off!
posted by Pollomacho at 10:32 AM on December 18, 2007

Well, at least they were polite: from the second link-"Two prisoners...left a thank-you note, signed with a smiley face"

Do prisoners still receive cakes with files hidden in them?
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 10:33 AM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

What seems shocking is the low quality of construction for a maximum security jail. At the very least they could have filled the cinderblock voids with concrete and rebar, making it exponentially harder to tunnel through.

I have heard of another jail with exterior walls made of metal studs and EIFS coating (thats styrofoam with stucco on the outside) that was easily breached by some inmates able to think outside the box and get past the convention that you dont walk through walls.
posted by phoffmann at 10:37 AM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

In retrospect, I wish I had named this post "Disappeared like a fart in the wind!"
Oh well. Next prison break.
posted by brevator at 10:41 AM on December 18, 2007

The fact that they jumped from a hole 30 feet in the air over a 15 foot high fence 15 feet away and then walked away impressed me more than anything else in the case.
posted by Megafly at 10:45 AM on December 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

breached by some inmates able to think outside the box and get past the convention that you dont walk through walls

I think you are thinking of the wrong movie.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:52 AM on December 18, 2007

I once tried to escape from prision. It wasn't easy either, I can tell you. First, I had to get myself tossed into solitary, then in the absence of noise and distraction, I spent months meditating and concentrating, until finally I reached pure enlightenment and I was ready to move onto the next stage of human evolution: Pure energy.

In my ascended form, I was able to easily breach the walls of my stone cage and I floated happily above the grounds, drifting out, over the laundry, and the cells, and finally the yard itself. I was just about ready to clear the fence when I noticed Vito, the skinhead, down in the yard. Fucker tried to shank me my first week, so I decided to get a little ascended revenge on his ass. I floated down and started taunting him: "Hey, Mr. Ayrian elite, I notice you are still stuck in your meat bag body. I guess you weren't cool enough to be enlightened, fuckhead!"

Then I saw Tony, the big bastard who stole my cigarettes: "Hey pig fucker," I said "I'm gonna have all the smokes I want when I clear that yard wall, what'cha gonna do then, cry?"

Then I noticed that I was loosing my ethereal, intangible qualities.

Apparently taunting prision bitches ain't considered 'enlightened' enough. So I dropped into the middle of the yard and got my ass kicked but good. Then they tossed me back in the pit for another couple months.

I didn't try to ascend again, but I did make a deal with Satan who sprung me in return for my immortal soul and the souls of a couple of people around me as well.

I should have done that in the first place, it was way easier.
posted by quin at 11:15 AM on December 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Shawshank Redemption: Andy Escapes [video].
posted by ericb at 11:21 AM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Grudgingly, Mr. Romankow also acknowledged that inmates Blunt and Espinosa also kept the books for the prison and managed the warden's personal finances."
posted by ericb at 11:23 AM on December 18, 2007

Great, but does "The Shawshank Redemption" acknowledge "Escape From Alcatraz"?
posted by wfc123 at 12:25 PM on December 18, 2007

There aren’t more prison escapes probably because you don’t really have much esprit de corps and cooperation is minimal. Unless you knew someone on the outside - how can you trust them? And they do attempt to break up gang members. Busting out of highly secure installations requires a lot of cooperation and, more often than not, help from the outside.
(E.g. despite the films a lot of those WWII prison camp breaks were subsidized with tools, maps, engineering materials (e.g. - how much load ‘x’ amt. of wood can bear) and so forth. Not to mention having somewhere to go. A lot of cons don’t have those resources. And It’d help to have a material science engineer, some structural guys, etc. And if you’ve got a degree in engineering, why would you be doing crimes that would wind you up in maximum security? Certainly there are exceptions, but generally the odds are unfavorable.
Which is why this case is so spectacularly stupid.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:10 PM on December 18, 2007

Great, but does "The Shawshank Redemption" acknowledge "Escape From Alcatraz"?

As much as "Escape from Alcatraz" acknowledges "The Great Escape." Honestly, I really don't see many similarities between Shawshank and Alcatraz aside from 'guy escapes from prison.' In Alcatraz, that was the whole point of the movie...watching them formulate a plan to escape. In Shawshank, the escape is a surprise and it isn't the focus of the movie at all.
posted by crashlanding at 2:01 PM on December 18, 2007

I love it when stuff that only happens in movies actually happens.
posted by butterstick at 2:06 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

What is a "a metal knob about the size of a tea saucer"

Surely knobs and saucers are two very different objects. Surely a knob should be compared to something spherical.
posted by mattoxic at 2:56 PM on December 18, 2007

And the award for Best Convict Name goes to.... Otis Blunt!
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:01 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

As much as "Escape from Alcatraz" acknowledges "The Great Escape."

And then The Great Escape would have to acknowledge A Man Escaped.
posted by rottytooth at 3:25 PM on December 18, 2007

if you’ve got a degree in engineering, why would you be doing crimes that would wind you up in maximum security
To free your brother who was framed for the murder of the Presidents brother by a shadowy corporation.
posted by X-00 at 4:49 PM on December 18, 2007

Or "The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexander Dumbass -- err, Dumas.
posted by dirigibleman at 5:37 PM on December 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I find myself wanting them to get away with it just because they did something awesome,

I find myself wanting them to get away with it just because the prison system is a disgusting abomination.
posted by poweredbybeard at 10:25 AM on December 19, 2007