Impress your dolphin girlfriend

December 19, 2007 11:54 AM

And here I am kicking my own legs like a sucker. From DEKA Research the folks that made the Segway and DARPA the little defense department that could (bomb you) comes Power Swim which uses an oscillating foil to develop vortices that...uh, it makes you go faster in the water. Some pictures, here.

Don't think you're going to zip in and out of ports though.

posted by Smedleyman (27 comments total)

His wife is going to hate the new dildo
posted by DU at 11:57 AM on December 19, 2007

Holy crap. The comment section in your fourth link looks like it's been completely overrun by one dude who thinks the government hacked his tinfoil helmet and stole his idea.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:00 PM on December 19, 2007

In related news, the Beluga whales have released a report detailing the discovery that they received a 70% increase in fish treats by wearing the humans' silly hats.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:08 PM on December 19, 2007

So...human torpedos?
posted by Thorzdad at 12:24 PM on December 19, 2007

'Combat Swimmers' would be a pretty good band name.
posted by Flashman at 12:27 PM on December 19, 2007

Finally, I can fulfill my childhood dream of swimming like the Man From Atlantis.
posted by studentbaker at 12:30 PM on December 19, 2007

Let me guess: They've found oil in Atlantis, right?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2007

^Let me guess: They've found oil in Atlantis, right?

Better than that: The dolphins have a peaceful nuclear energy program.
posted by not_on_display at 12:37 PM on December 19, 2007

Good pictures/videos in this link off one of the comments.
posted by Bugg at 12:37 PM on December 19, 2007

Doesn't look like it's that new. Some people have mentioned that this was already invented and called the "Aqueon"
posted by delmoi at 12:43 PM on December 19, 2007

a 70% increase in fish treats by wearing the humans' silly hats

Well, no wonder.

[from the article] "There's even a chance to receive a wet kiss under the mistletoe from a yuletide beluga"

Who among us could resist this siren song? Who, I say?
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:47 PM on December 19, 2007

Let me guess: They've found oil in Atlantis, right?
Better than that: The dolphins have a peaceful nuclear energy program.

LOLHIPPIEFISH.
posted by rokusan at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2007

This is neat and all, but I thought seals used powered underwater sleds and the like. I mean, I get that there are going to be instances where you don't want to send someone in with extra equipment, but in those situations, I would think that something like this would get in the way just as much.

Nevertheless, I will be happy to try this out if someone is willing to send me one, and then ship both it and I to an area with large expanses of warm clear water for me to test it in.

I'm willing to suffer for the sake of science.

You're welcome.
posted by quin at 1:18 PM on December 19, 2007

I'll have you know that my dolphin girlfriend says that it's a good length, thank you very much.
posted by lekvar at 1:19 PM on December 19, 2007

It's a good thing Dean Kamen's independently wealthy, since none of his inventions ever seem to have the slightest chance of making any money.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:29 PM on December 19, 2007

Words cannot describe how badly I want to try these things out.
posted by saladin at 1:39 PM on December 19, 2007

I thought seals used powered underwater sleds and the like

At first read, I thought you meant "seals", not "SEALs". The mental images were glorious.
posted by thehmsbeagle at 1:47 PM on December 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

At first read, I thought you meant "seals", not "SEALs". The mental images were glorious.

Yeah, me too. That and the Japanese belugas in pinstripes and fedoras.
posted by tangerine at 1:51 PM on December 19, 2007

Screw underwater combat. I just want a white Persian cat and a grey Nehru jacket.
Is that asking too much?
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:56 PM on December 19, 2007

I am coming for you, Submariner, and I am going to FUCK YOU UP.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:06 PM on December 19, 2007

This will change the way sewers and canals are designed.
posted by Caviar at 2:15 PM on December 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

It's a good thing Dean Kamen's independently wealthy, since none of his inventions ever seem to have the slightest chance of making any money. -backseatpilot

Yeah, good thing nobody needs heart stents or kidney dialysis, such useless products those turned out to be.
posted by hellphish at 2:25 PM on December 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

> This will change the way sewers and canals are designed.
Ah, you were scarred by the great Segway Hype Disaster as well, I see.
posted by sdodd at 2:35 PM on December 19, 2007

Does this swimming technique remind anyone of the Man From Atlantis, or is it just me?
posted by Falling_Saint at 6:10 PM on December 19, 2007

On review: Doh!!!
posted by Falling_Saint at 6:12 PM on December 19, 2007

This is old. I'm pretty sure I saw it on 'Tomorrows World' over 30 years ago. Its here http://apnea.cz/fins.html
posted by marvin at 9:41 PM on December 19, 2007

'Combat Swimmers' would be a pretty good band name.

'Malevolent Frogs' would be pretty much the same thing, but in a more obscure way -- better?
posted by pax digita at 4:44 AM on December 20, 2007