Beery eyed
February 22, 2008 1:10 PM Subscribe
Benefits of Beer
There are a ton of these but this is by far my favorite.
I wonder if there are 10 ways in which beer is better than women?
posted by quonsar at 1:15 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by quonsar at 1:15 PM on February 22, 2008 [2 favorites]
I've been smearing beer on others' breasts for years, now I finally have a reason.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 1:17 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 1:17 PM on February 22, 2008
I mean I love beer
But c'mon....
In XVI century pharmaceutical chemists recommended women to wash themselves with beer in order to have soft skin. And Prussian Queen Louise who had flat breast was advised to drink beer and smear her breast with beer three times per day.
I'm sure the same pharmaceutical chemists recommended women that they should try a drop or two of mercury, and lead was a wonderful way of lightening the face.
I can however attest to the breast increasing properties of beer, I sport pendulous man boobs that are the envy of all flat chested women I meet (its the way they look at me)
posted by mattoxic at 1:20 PM on February 22, 2008
But c'mon....
In XVI century pharmaceutical chemists recommended women to wash themselves with beer in order to have soft skin. And Prussian Queen Louise who had flat breast was advised to drink beer and smear her breast with beer three times per day.
I'm sure the same pharmaceutical chemists recommended women that they should try a drop or two of mercury, and lead was a wonderful way of lightening the face.
I can however attest to the breast increasing properties of beer, I sport pendulous man boobs that are the envy of all flat chested women I meet (its the way they look at me)
posted by mattoxic at 1:20 PM on February 22, 2008
This is funny, but I don't think it was intended to be as funny as it was.
posted by not_on_display at 1:21 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by not_on_display at 1:21 PM on February 22, 2008
Wow, you're drunk enough to post this? It's only, like, 1pm here!
posted by klangklangston at 1:22 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by klangklangston at 1:22 PM on February 22, 2008
"Beer is the main source of silicon"
posted by not_on_display at 1:23 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by not_on_display at 1:23 PM on February 22, 2008
mmmmmmmmm beer!
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:44 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 1:44 PM on February 22, 2008
"Good old trustworthy beer! My love for you will never die."
---Homer (Simpson)
posted by elendil71 at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008
---Homer (Simpson)
posted by elendil71 at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008
And while having toothache before teeth were rinsed with beer.
I couldn't have said it better. Well, maybe after some beer.
posted by Camofrog at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008
I couldn't have said it better. Well, maybe after some beer.
posted by Camofrog at 1:46 PM on February 22, 2008
In my experience, drinking beer has greatly increased the size of the breasts I've encountered.
HOORAY SCIENCE!
posted by Navelgazer at 1:53 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
HOORAY SCIENCE!
posted by Navelgazer at 1:53 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
I don't want to be at work anymore after reading this.
posted by hellslinger at 1:54 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by hellslinger at 1:54 PM on February 22, 2008
Benefits of Beer: It gets me drunk.
posted by milarepa at 2:11 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by milarepa at 2:11 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
7. Beer is good for mental work
There are lots of group B and P vitamins in malt and hop, and they improve mental activity.
While I've found that beer actually helps me work on papers and studying, doesn't alcohol inhibit the body's absorption of vitamins?
posted by champthom at 2:35 PM on February 22, 2008
There are lots of group B and P vitamins in malt and hop, and they improve mental activity.
While I've found that beer actually helps me work on papers and studying, doesn't alcohol inhibit the body's absorption of vitamins?
posted by champthom at 2:35 PM on February 22, 2008
I love how this reads like it was run through Google translator twice. I'm enjoying a Sam Adams Old Fezziwig right now (it was sorta lost in my beer fridge).
posted by fixedgear at 2:53 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by fixedgear at 2:53 PM on February 22, 2008
I got a vision of Larry the Cable guy standing in front of the fridge going, "hmm, do I feel like a beer or a nice refreshing glass of kefir? Oh, I'm watching my figure, I'll drink a beer!" Kefir may have more calories but most people don't guzzle it like they do beer.
Beer: porkchop in a bottle.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 2:58 PM on February 22, 2008
Beer: porkchop in a bottle.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 2:58 PM on February 22, 2008
Yeah, I was really baffled by the comparison with kefir until I saw the domain name.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:00 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:00 PM on February 22, 2008
1. Beer strengthens cordial muscle.
The cordial muscle is not the one I think it is.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 3:08 PM on February 22, 2008
The cordial muscle is not the one I think it is.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 3:08 PM on February 22, 2008
Once I had a roommate who was a very religious Christian (although I never knew him to go to church, and he never actually paid me any rent... hmmm...). When he found my mug with the 10 Reasons Beer Is Better Than Jesus on it, he got a bit spooked, and moved out a couple weeks later. Nice enough guy, though.
posted by jtron at 3:13 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by jtron at 3:13 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
This made me momentarily happy about my level of beer consumption. And explained why I am so smart and sexy.
posted by sharpener at 3:31 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by sharpener at 3:31 PM on February 22, 2008
Wait, people will kill you for not drinking Jesus?
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:31 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:31 PM on February 22, 2008
3. Beer withdraws uric stones
Many sorts of beer withdraw uric stones. It happens like that: potassium intensifies natrium and chlorine segregation by kidneys, and urine formation deeply increases. Thus demineralization of organism happens and uric stones are being withdrawn.
I'm sold! It's the natrium! (better than plumbum for the renals!)
posted by Turtles all the way down at 3:40 PM on February 22, 2008
Many sorts of beer withdraw uric stones. It happens like that: potassium intensifies natrium and chlorine segregation by kidneys, and urine formation deeply increases. Thus demineralization of organism happens and uric stones are being withdrawn.
I'm sold! It's the natrium! (better than plumbum for the renals!)
posted by Turtles all the way down at 3:40 PM on February 22, 2008
William Faulkner’s Top Ten Beer Quotes
posted by maurice at 4:41 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by maurice at 4:41 PM on February 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
Yeast of the Web
posted by mannequito at 6:43 PM on February 22, 2008
posted by mannequito at 6:43 PM on February 22, 2008
10. Beer is good for male potency
So I guess brewer's droop is just an urban legend.
posted by TedW at 6:59 PM on February 22, 2008
So I guess brewer's droop is just an urban legend.
posted by TedW at 6:59 PM on February 22, 2008
"There are lots of potassium, magnesium, phosphorus in beer"
Yeah, but something that doesn't get much notice is the fact that alcohol tends to deplete things like magnesium and potassium in a real serious way (depending on how much of it you drink, obviously), so don't think you're getting your recommended daily amount of these things with your beer. Most Americans don't get enough of those two minerals to begin with, and a deficiency in one of them will often make worse a deficiency with the other. Be careful and eat your potatoes!
posted by Dokterrock at 12:38 AM on February 23, 2008
Yeah, but something that doesn't get much notice is the fact that alcohol tends to deplete things like magnesium and potassium in a real serious way (depending on how much of it you drink, obviously), so don't think you're getting your recommended daily amount of these things with your beer. Most Americans don't get enough of those two minerals to begin with, and a deficiency in one of them will often make worse a deficiency with the other. Be careful and eat your potatoes!
posted by Dokterrock at 12:38 AM on February 23, 2008
Byelorussian company uses bad English. Ha-ha-ha. Lookit im ignant furriners.
posted by nasreddin at 8:08 AM on February 23, 2008
posted by nasreddin at 8:08 AM on February 23, 2008
This isn't the first time Metafilter has inspired me to drink a can of Bender and hopefully it won't be the last.
posted by Ber at 2:38 PM on February 23, 2008
posted by Ber at 2:38 PM on February 23, 2008
A list of countries with beer consumption per capita
posted by monospace at 11:00 AM on February 25, 2008
posted by monospace at 11:00 AM on February 25, 2008
Everything is good in moderation.
posted by skalitenko at 11:05 AM on March 7, 2008
posted by skalitenko at 11:05 AM on March 7, 2008
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posted by BeerFilter at 1:14 PM on February 22, 2008