Get down with the Kersal Massive

May 17, 2008 8:59 PM

As previously mentioned on Metafilter, in 2006, the Kersal Massive, 3 English chavs from Kersal near Manchester made a 44 second rap video on a cell phone (click this one first).
Once it hit YouTube, it inspired parodies and mashups ranging from heavy metal to alternative to dancefloor, an acoustic cover version, a conspiracy theory video, a Kevin Powder interview , and best of all this version. But this one is my favourite.

Apologies to people for who this is old news, but I enjoyed discovering this phenomenon today and wanted to share.

posted by w0mbat (36 comments total)

I have just one thing to say: military school.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:03 PM on May 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

And lest we forget, the Icy Hot Stuntaz.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:10 PM on May 17, 2008

"Sorry it doesn't rhyme or scan properly, rhyming or scanning properly not my department."
posted by arto at 9:30 PM on May 17, 2008

I love how the Icy Hot Stuntaz "phat rides" are a Mitsubishi Eclipse, a Pontiac Firebird, and a fucking Ford Ranger. Jesus, even I could smoke any of them off the line.
posted by desjardins at 9:36 PM on May 17, 2008

I didn't comment on the original post because watching those links was a massive waste of my time. (Get it? Massive?)
posted by desjardins at 9:37 PM on May 17, 2008

Heh, youtube brought up this parody, which sings the praises of some British (I assume) brand of soap.
posted by delmoi at 9:59 PM on May 17, 2008

I have just one thing to say: military school.

For centuries, there was an uneasy equilibrium in the strata of British socioeconomic classes, until they militarized the chavs in the summer of 2008. War was soon to follow. If you want to picture the future, imagine a white trainer stomping on a human face -- until the pub opens.
posted by stavrogin at 10:00 PM on May 17, 2008 [14 favorites]

that's great.

I keep expecting him to go: "I'm the hiphopapotamus/my rhyme skills are bottomless," and then a big awkward pause.
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:04 PM on May 17, 2008

Heh, youtube brought up this parody , which sings the praises of some British (I assume) brand of soap.

That is also in the post. Where does the "massive" terminology come from? Does it originate in Jamaica?
posted by Falconetti at 10:22 PM on May 17, 2008

Thank you for spinning me around and pointing me toward this gem which I would not have otherwise run into. The kid on the left hit some place in my brain that made me want to watch the rest of the links, which also amused. Good post.
posted by not_on_display at 10:27 PM on May 17, 2008

I was enjoying all the fun until I watched the Kevin Powder interview. Then I felt bad, because I realized these are just a couple of kids acting stupid, and not really deserving of international mockery. Thank god I was a teenager before the era of YouTube.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 10:30 PM on May 17, 2008

This is why MC Pitman got in the game.
posted by anthill at 10:40 PM on May 17, 2008

Michael Quinion's discussion of the word "chav" is worthwhile.
posted by Tube at 10:41 PM on May 17, 2008

Falconetti - a "massive" is a large gang or posse. I think the term probably is from Jamaica. Presumably there are other members of this particular "massive"...
One of the responses might even be from a rival gang although it's probably just another piss-take.

not_on_display - glad you liked the post! Yeah I think the whiny one on the left might even have some talent.
posted by w0mbat at 10:45 PM on May 17, 2008

I was in Manchester on Wednesday. The massed ranks of Rangers fans in Piccadilly Gardens managed to make these Mancunian chavs look like models of sophistication and good taste. At least the Kersal Massive embrace a modern, multiracial, multicultural society.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:25 AM on May 18, 2008

What's funnier than hearing these guys talk like that is American drum and bass fans that talk like that.
posted by empath at 1:50 AM on May 18, 2008

Are they actually hugely untalented or should their lack of an appreciable sense of rhythm inform me of their cultural allegiances?
posted by Sparx at 2:12 AM on May 18, 2008

Anyone who can rap about Daysavers and Haribo is OK by me.
Although I may have misheard the Haribo stuff.

Also, Double.

Also, when this comes up I like to post some badly done but amusing hippity hop from my neck of the woods. (01422). (Although to be fair - It isn't that bad. To me. I may even be good. It might actually be really bad. I've just no idea any more)
posted by seanyboy at 4:22 AM on May 18, 2008

Ah, that was a blast from the past...
Ginger Joe for Prime Minister!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:25 AM on May 18, 2008

should their lack of an appreciable sense of rhythm inform me of their cultural allegiances?

I didn't notice any lack in their sense of rhythm. It may be that you aren't noticing that the rap proper ends around 27 seconds in, followed at that point by generalized non-rap bragadoccio and abuse towards their nemesis, the Levenshume Massive.

Also

Kersal Massive are way better than MC Pitman. Pitman's kinda like the British version of Fifty Shekel, if Fifty Shekel was just pretending to be Jewish and actually had a hidden foreskin under his pants.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:48 AM on May 18, 2008

Also: Why has nobody noticed that Little Kev is clearly the bastard son of Mark E. Smith?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:56 AM on May 18, 2008

Go back home, son, yer mam's got cake.

Seems like an appropriate time to mention the GOLDIE LOOKIN CHAIN.
posted by kcds at 5:20 AM on May 18, 2008

Man, who was that fat kid rapping in the back of a no doubt his parent's) car? Think it was on Myspace around the time of the Kersal Massive explosion. He was great (read hilariously bad) he was.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:40 AM on May 18, 2008

the english love to make fun of the working class
posted by bhnyc at 7:56 AM on May 18, 2008

Fuck peace.
posted by spoobnooble at 8:09 AM on May 18, 2008

This is clearly an incredibly clever viral marketing campaign by the Greater Manchester Passenger Transport Executive. Now everyone is aware of the potential benefits of the Daysaver.
posted by gene_machine at 8:30 AM on May 18, 2008

Chav? Say what?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:58 AM on May 18, 2008

the english love to make fun of the working class

And Americans taking the piss out of the Icy Hot Stuntaz differs how, exactly?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:48 AM on May 18, 2008

the english love to make fun of the working class
Every class gets made fun of in England. It's part of our culture.
(w0mbat is a Brit living in the US)
posted by w0mbat at 11:32 AM on May 18, 2008

Thank god I was a teenager before the era of YouTube.

Amen to that.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:37 AM on May 18, 2008

I have nothing to say as the Kersal Massive have said it all.
posted by ob at 2:26 PM on May 18, 2008

No time to check out all of the chav links, a friend bought me a copy of The Chap and I have been trying to hunt down sources of vintage tweed. There are just too many options for anglo-oriented faux cultural resistance these days.
posted by cgk at 10:26 PM on May 18, 2008

Research shows that the car they mention (the Renault Clio V6) doesn't actually have a back seat, being the two seater sporty version.
Therefore their claims of "back seat hoes" seem highly unlikely...
posted by w0mbat at 11:42 PM on May 18, 2008

...or their claim to have that particular car is unlikely. Take your pick.
posted by w0mbat at 11:43 PM on May 18, 2008

This is clearly an incredibly clever viral marketing campaign by the Greater Manchester Passenger Transport Executive. Now everyone is aware of the potential benefits of the Daysaver.

Yeah, I wish I'd known about it when I lived there.

Lower Broughton Massive, respec'.
posted by cillit bang at 6:14 AM on May 19, 2008

genius. youre favourite is classic.
posted by Frasermoo at 9:59 AM on May 19, 2008