Slumdog Millionaire: Hope or Hype?
December 26, 2008 2:47 PM   Subscribe

 
"Wouldn't you know it? Armond White is a hipster"
posted by nanojath at 2:53 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Too many snake-hipped word-slingers don’t know what they’re talking about
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on December 26, 2008


"the literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later"?
posted by Artw at 3:01 PM on December 26, 2008


It was good. Best film of 2008? I dunno about that. Don't know what I do consider the best, but I don't think it's that one.
posted by inigo2 at 3:01 PM on December 26, 2008


And this guy doesn't like City of God? He's like a tornado of holier-than-thou righteous wrongness.
posted by Artw at 3:02 PM on December 26, 2008 [10 favorites]


Man, I still can't stand Armond White.
posted by languagehat at 3:02 PM on December 26, 2008


"literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later"

I also disagree with this statement (from the "TV-slick fraud" link). I really enjoyed that movie (which maybe affects your opinions of my last comment, but it is what it is).
posted by inigo2 at 3:03 PM on December 26, 2008


"the literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later"?

Well you know, unwatchable unless you're one of those people.
posted by fleetmouse at 3:04 PM on December 26, 2008


Is he namechecking Darjeeling Limited as something to aspire to? I mean, I kind of liked it, but it was not a great success in so many different ways.
posted by Artw at 3:05 PM on December 26, 2008


the literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later

Apparently I have some kind of superhuman watching abilities. Armond White is a shithead who has confused knee-jerk contrarianism with independence of thought.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:07 PM on December 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


Lurid, chaotic and maudlin, Slumdog suggests a Baz Luhrmann version of Oliver Twist.

This would be roughly what I would expect to see.
posted by Artw at 3:10 PM on December 26, 2008


LOLARMONDWHITE
posted by pxe2000 at 3:11 PM on December 26, 2008


It ended up being super low profile, but i can definately recommend Millions, the other Boyle movie about kids and large digit sums of cash.
posted by Artw at 3:12 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


From the TV-slick fraud link:
Danny Boyle proved his lack of genuine seriousness with last decade’s hipster-chic Trainspotting where he attempted to turn drug addiction into a lower-depths, rock ’n’ roll carnival. After several box-office flops (including The Beach and Sunshine) and the literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later, Boyle is back in frenetic mode.
Huh? Transpotting is one of the most memorable British movies of its time. 28 Days Later breathed new life into the horror genre. Also:
* I had to google Armond White to realize what a special snowflake he is
* Dude thinks Transporter 3 is the bestest movie
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:15 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hah, googled his name and found this:

Armond Dangerous: Parsing the Confounding Film Criticism of Mr. Armond White

Allow me to suggest an alternate title...

Armond Dangerous: Feed the Troll!
posted by defenestration at 3:16 PM on December 26, 2008


The Beach becomes much more watchable once all the annoying Armond White types start getting eaten by sharks, killed by druglords etc...
posted by Artw at 3:20 PM on December 26, 2008


Sorry, I guess revealing that everyone in The Beach is completely unlikable is kind of a spoiler.
posted by Artw at 3:22 PM on December 26, 2008


I give Armond points for being an ostentatious read. I am going to admit that when I heard "Paper Planes" in the middle of Slumdog I felt pangs of hyperglycemia.
posted by phaedon at 3:24 PM on December 26, 2008


From the Transporter 3 Review:

Aficionados will appreciate the humor of a goon’s “Are you the smart one?” retort. Snobs will misunderstand the progress before their eyes. When Megaton makes Godardian symbolism of Martin’s hand retrieving a key from Valentina’s, Transporter 3 evinces greater art than Van Sant’s studied poetic effects.

This is hilarious. I mean—c'mon—this is some sort of postmodern, satirical criticism of film criticism, rite?


Oh.

posted by defenestration at 3:24 PM on December 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


Thank you for introducing us to Armond White, whatever the fuck he is.
posted by Artw at 3:26 PM on December 26, 2008


Jason Strathams being mentioned a lot in conjunction with the new Judge Dredd movie that Alec Garland (The Beach, 28 Days Later) may be writing, so I reckon Armonds head will explode when that one comes out.
posted by Artw at 3:28 PM on December 26, 2008


Is it just me, or does that Armond White review read like it was written by one of those automatic text generators?
posted by nasreddin at 3:30 PM on December 26, 2008 [5 favorites]


He's like the John Dvorak of film!
posted by Artw at 3:31 PM on December 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


Armond White's review of Gran Torino, in case anyone else is bothered by all the glowing reviews that are floating around for that masterful piece of shit.
posted by phaedon at 3:32 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't understand the wording of this post: why is it "crowd pleaser" or tv slick fraud? Doesn't fraudulent tv please crowds the world over?
posted by Kiablokirk at 3:34 PM on December 26, 2008


I loved Trainspotting and 28 Days Later, but Slumdog is a terrible film. Armond White's critique is a bit too focused on Boyle's style (which I personally like), but he's otherwise on target.

The film features a virtuous hero who never has to make any difficult choices (he's never given any opportunities to, after all, this is about his "destiny"). Most Disney films have more emotional complexity. Somehow the violence of the film is supposed to convince us of its seriousness, but it's not nearly enough.
posted by rottytooth at 3:35 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Answer: It is a rapturous crowd-pleaser whether Danny Boyle is TV-slick or a fraud or not. It pleases the crowds, rapturously, and I am enthusiastically among them. I haven't seen enough movies this year to competently guess at which one was the "best," but Slumdog would probably get my vote, just barely edging out Wall*E and The Dark Knight. I saw it with my folks on Monday, and apparently my dad has been having dreams about it every night since then. He's spent some time in Mumbai, and can't believe how accurately protrayed it was (everyone I know who's spent time in Mumbai has said the same thing, actually.) It was heartbreaking and riveting and totally earned the emotions it evoked. Armond White is a contrarian dick who it sounds like was prepared to hate it going in. Seriously, I'm the one and only self-proclaimed hipster out here, and I'd rather not allow him use of the title. I don't want to be associated with that sort of asshole.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:39 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


yay, the internets has produced another sub-par wanker who wants all the world to revere his word as golden... so many of them too.
posted by edgeways at 3:41 PM on December 26, 2008


Afroblanco -- But we never see him make that choice. It's an easy choice for him, because it's not his nature to take on his brother's lifestyle.
posted by rottytooth at 3:43 PM on December 26, 2008


A.I. is equal to Kubrick’s finest work.
posted by Artw at 3:43 PM on December 26, 2008


I don't understand the wording of this post: why is it "crowd pleaser" or tv slick fraud? Doesn't fraudulent tv please crowds the world over?

I'm amazed that no one has answered 'Yes' to the original post.
posted by lukemeister at 3:53 PM on December 26, 2008


I haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire yet. I probably will, at some point.

Even though I have no clue whether or not I will agree with you, rottytooth, your three sentence review was more effectively written than White's piece.

I get the feeling White loathes his audience and is as concerned with what other people think about a piece of work as the work itself. I don't find the SM review that ridiculous (dunno if I agree as I haven't seen the film), but it also seems he can't help but throw in provocative insights (read: he trolls). It makes it difficult to take him seriously. As nanojath's link said, the hardcore, ceaseless contrarian tone screams self-loathing hipster. Or, at least, an unaware hipster, or better yet, a self-aware intellectually self-correcting hipster; my shit don't stink (anymore) you shitty hipsters!

Admittedly, I've come to this conclusion after reading only a small sample of his output; it could just be one facet of his work. It just happens to be a very annoying facet.
posted by defenestration at 3:53 PM on December 26, 2008


Heh. His review of Darjeeling Limited is pretty low key, if a bit pretentious and very carefully ignoring most of the films flaws, but he does manage to throw in that it's not just "a movie-buff’s grabbag", like "Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction". Kappow! Take that Tarantino fans!
posted by Artw at 3:57 PM on December 26, 2008


Let me also say, I find discussion of hipsters to be hilarious. Especially real life, face-to-face, vocal discussion of those rascally hipsters. Some people spend a lot of time thinking about hipsters.

Hipsters.
posted by defenestration at 3:57 PM on December 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


The obsession with race (he's managed to bring it up in pretty much every review I've read so far) reminds me a little of the fake angry-black-man who condemns Star Wars in Chasing Amy.
posted by Artw at 3:59 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just so all of this is put in perspective, the New York Press also advertises for American Apparel. On its COVER. Every issue.
posted by hermitosis at 3:59 PM on December 26, 2008


A.I. is equal to Kubrick’s finest work.

Ah, so he's a prankster pretending to be a movie critic. Got it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:00 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I haven't seen slumdog, but Armond White is literally the reason I stopped reading NYP.

Also, he's living proof of my theorem that the best evidence for being a hipster is calling people hipsters.

Also, he's a prick.
posted by lumpenprole at 4:00 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


He has started a new school of film criticism, where you critique the audience instead of the film.
posted by defenestration at 4:10 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just so all of this is put in perspective, the New York Press also advertises for American Apparel. On its COVER. Every issue.

Well, so does The Onion, but that doesn't mean the A.V. Club isn't a thousand times more honest and reputable than this hack.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:12 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Come to think of it Shallow Grave had a big pile of cash in it as well. Bit of an obsession of Boyles, I guess.
posted by Artw at 4:13 PM on December 26, 2008


Heh. If there's one thing The Stranger is loaded with it's people who are up themselves and frequently wrong about things, bless it.
posted by Artw at 4:16 PM on December 26, 2008


This is the failure of the Web. Right here. In the battle to get noise heard above all the other noise, people have taken to manufacturing contrarian personas and deliberately throwing out half-baked provocations, knowing that, if they generate enough outrage, people will flood their site. It's horseshit, and we shouldn't support it in any way. There is so much noise now, so very very much, that there is barely a signal left.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:16 PM on December 26, 2008 [7 favorites]


Oops. Somehow misread "The Onion" as "The Stranger". the Stranger, of course, has it's American Apparel ads on the back cover.
posted by Artw at 4:18 PM on December 26, 2008


This is the failure of the Web.

Nah, dude. He's always been like this. He was pumping this shit out in the early 90's for Film Comment occasionally. He and people like him are the reason Film School kills so many budding film-makers.
posted by lumpenprole at 4:20 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


But I would never have read him until this very moment.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:21 PM on December 26, 2008


Greg nog - Yeah, I get that spam too.
posted by Artw at 4:22 PM on December 26, 2008


"literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later"

That's one of the dopiest things I've ever read. For something to be "literally" unwatchable it would need to not be in the visual medium, or it would need to be made entirely of old needles and jagged pieces of glass and rusty metal that pierced your eyeballs when you glanced at it.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:23 PM on December 26, 2008 [11 favorites]


He's pulling a Joyce!
posted by Artw at 4:24 PM on December 26, 2008


Yeah, dahilia, that bugged me too. It's the classic mistake of using 'literally' for emphasis, as beautifully parodied by David Cross.

It seems like a really rank amateur mistake for someone who has been writing for a living as long as he has.
posted by lumpenprole at 4:26 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Lilly, the caretaker's daughter, was literally run off her feet.
posted by Artw at 4:33 PM on December 26, 2008


Everything Greg Nog says about me is true.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:38 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


After all the hype I was really looking forward to watching Slumdog. What a relief to read Greg Nog's and rottytooth's opinions.

Just saw Slumdog and if I knew it were going to pull all the Hallmark, sentimental, schmaltzy punches of Forrest Gump but set in a City of God nightmare wasteland slum, slathered with violence, I might have liked it. But I thought it was going to be a really good movie. Something authentic and intelligent.

Well done schmaltz, like Shawshank Redemption (my favorite movie) can be excellent, when it doesn't have any pretension to be better. Good stories have some subtlety to the narrative. I felt assaulted watching Slumdog, exhausted.

I know nothing about Armond White, have seen none of Danny Boyle's movies, except Trainspotting, which I didn't enjoy. But I thought Armond White's opinions of Slumdog are spot on and well spoken. That said, Slumdog could be, for some people, very entertaining. Just not my cup of chai. Will watch again though with schmaltz enjoyment glasses on and see if it's a better movie than it seemed during the first go-round.
posted by nickyskye at 4:38 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


So what's he saying here? That Vikas Swarup, the author of the novel that the movie was based on isn't really an Indian?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:42 PM on December 26, 2008


Clearly all the suckness comes from Boyle, who has infected it with his colonial whiteyness.
posted by Artw at 4:44 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Slumdog proves British cinema has a knack for producing TV-slick frauds: Boyle, Michael Winterbottom, Adrian Lyne, Tony and Ridley Scott.

That's the point when I laughed out loud. I mean what does 'tv-slick' even mean, especially as a criticism?

As an aside a short time ago I read the novel Slumdog is based on and found it a pretty enjoyable book - with a few interesting insites into India. However it's pretty lightweight with a daft ending... and one notable point were the hero has sex with a girl whose breasts he likens to brown twin domes of the Taj Mahal.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:45 PM on December 26, 2008


"the literally unwatchable horror movie hit 28 Days Later"?
posted by Artw


Yep. Anything he says after that self-contradictory phrase loses all credibility.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 4:46 PM on December 26, 2008


and one notable point were the hero has sex with a girl whose breasts he likens to brown twin domes of the Taj Mahal.

Booker-tastic!
posted by Artw at 4:47 PM on December 26, 2008


Trainspotting

Danny Boyle isn't even Scottish anyway... AND they shot it in Glasgow!
posted by Artw at 5:00 PM on December 26, 2008


the Stranger, of course, has it's American Apparel ads on the back cover.

Hey, the back cover is fair game, in fact it's the holy grail of advertising. A huge banner across the front cover selling robin's-egg blue tights via softcore porn photography and advertising "NOW HIRING" (the store, of course -- not the paper) basically tells me that I can take whatever I read inside with a grain of salt. It's maybe a half-step above those coupon mailers, with more escort ads. And their reviews, if you can't guess my opinion, really suck.
posted by hermitosis at 5:02 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Come to think of it Shallow Grave had a big pile of cash in it as well. Bit of an obsession of Boyles, I guess.

I was just going to mention this after you recommended Millions.

Man, Shallow Grave. What a disturbing movie. I don't know which would be creepier - having a Scottish accountant in my attic who drilled holes through the cieling and spied on me, or living with Ewan McGregor.

McGregor is one of my all-time favorite actors, don't get me wrong. But he's got that little-too-big smile that says "I seem quite normal on the surface but at night I will do things to your toothbrush, and laugh to myself about it all day."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:03 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Yeah, it's hilarious to read folks blaming the Internet for White when he's been writing crazy shit since, well, to pick a moment from that Armond Dangerous blog, Coming To America came out.

As for Slumdog, from hearing the critics on NPR talk about it, I was actually disappointed by how sedate and linear it was—they'd hyped it as a lurid, hyperactive, hyper-saturated acid trip of a Bollywood film, and that's what I was hoping for.

I still thought that it was OK (and much better than Forrest Gump, c'mon), but it wasn't what I expected. I hate being sold something that's supposed to blow my mind without a proper appreciation of how hard it is to actually blow minds.

As for the question of agency in the movie, my reaction to that was to assume that Boyle was intentionally referencing the Just So stories of Kipling, and using his colonial privilege to deny agency to the characters on purpose. That was the only way that the frustrating stupidity and dogged determination made sense.
posted by klangklangston at 5:13 PM on December 26, 2008 [4 favorites]


having a Scottish accountant in my attic who drilled holes through the cieling and spied on me, or living with Ewan McGregor.

Well I though Ewan came over pretty well in those long-journey-by-bike docs, pretty normal for an actor, if a little intense.

And if anyone would mess with your toothbrush it would be Keith Allen...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:13 PM on December 26, 2008


"Why is my toothbrush made of drugs?"
posted by Artw at 5:37 PM on December 26, 2008


My own contrarian take: I always used to enjoy reading Armond White in the New York Press in the 1990s, even though I didn't find his actual judgments of movies compelling. I didn't read him to find out what movies to watch -- I read him because he had a truly interesting and unusual way of watching movies -- not reflexively contrarian, just weird and mind-expanding.
posted by escabeche at 5:41 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Best movies of 2008. Would be so interested to know Mefites' opinions and preferences.
posted by nickyskye at 5:45 PM on December 26, 2008


Heh. Well I thought The Dark Knight was a little over-rated too.
posted by Artw at 5:50 PM on December 26, 2008


Two years ago, the little-indie-that-could was "Little Miss Sunshine", an overrated at best, rather forgettable film. Last year it was "Juno", which was also overrated and forgettable. I haven't seen "Slumdog" yet, but I'm guessing it's going to continue the trend.
posted by zardoz at 5:55 PM on December 26, 2008


Come to think of it, A LIFE LESS ORDINARY had a suitcase full of cash in it as well. ALIEN 4, which he turned down to do it did not. Did SUNSHINE have a big pile of cash in it at some point?
posted by Artw at 5:55 PM on December 26, 2008


Yoiu know, people like this twit seem to exist solely to generate buzzphrases and controversy, so they can pat themselves on the back and sleep better at night since they proved that they alone truly "get" film.
posted by Samizdata at 6:05 PM on December 26, 2008


You know, even.
posted by Samizdata at 6:06 PM on December 26, 2008


Who the fuck reads the New York Press? It's just a glorified movie schedule, kinda like the Voice but easier to fit into your coat pocket.
posted by cazoo at 6:12 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


As far as I recall 28 DAYS LATER has no big piles of cash... except it's an empty world film at the start, and surely they all have a big pile of (now worthless) cash at some point?

In THE BEACH the big feild of dope replaces the big pile of cash. For some reason the dumbasses that find it do not expect men with guns to come and shoot them all.
posted by Artw at 6:21 PM on December 26, 2008


I saw Valkyrie with my dad today and it was pretty great. I predict oscar noms for art direction, editing, and musical score.
posted by autodidact at 6:49 PM on December 26, 2008


This is a bit of an aside, but Slumdog Millionare best movie of the year? Hardly. It was good, but it was no Iron Man.

(As a further aside, "It was good, but it was no Iron Man" is my new standard evaluation of all films.)
posted by voltairemodern at 6:52 PM on December 26, 2008


Bolliwood is weird. Too weird, especially now that Indian producers and directors have access to American cameras and post-production tech and, most gobsmacking of all, film schools. Around the corner from my new apartment is a fabulous Indian restaurant, specializing in healthy cuisine, with an =awesome= atmosphere. Part of that is the huge projection-screen TV showing recent Bolliwood hits. Thr sound is turned off (in favor of home-grown Indian techno, which is awesome, and has me once again barricading the gates in favor of "techno" over "electronica")

The movie is shot brilliantly, making use of space and place in a way that would make Kubric weep, and then puke, as he realized what maudlin John Hughes tripe his camera work was being co-opted for, with both musical numbers and special-effects-martial-arts fights that would make John Hughes puke.

But, this is Bolliwood! Who cares what the stodgy american masters think? It's got a hot man, and a hot woman, and a whole lot of singing and dancing and kicking people in the head with lightningbolts coming out!

So, if a British director can bring some of that beautiful, surreal-unreal magic to the screen in a way that Western audiences can Get It, even in a small, imperfect way, he deserves every damn award we can give him.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:55 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


Ok, so "The Beach" is when I lost all faith in Danny Boyle. My beef with that film is much more with its awful, awful adaptation from a book I really loved than with Boyle's direction. Still, how anyone who read the book, and then read that atrocious script, and said "ok, that's a good screenplay! Let's cut out most of the things that made the book interesting in the first place!" Filming that script alone makes me think that Boyle's judgement isn't the strongest.

That said, I really liked "Sunshine" until the last reel and the climax involved some alien/monster/supernatural creature/Kurtz-like character that doesn't make any sense at all. Again, it's approving mediocre screenplays, and not his directing style (camerawork, design, performances of actors) that gives me pause. Lots of directors belong in this camp; Ridley Scott is another example of this.
posted by zardoz at 6:56 PM on December 26, 2008


I think maybe I was lucky to have seen Slumdog before I was aware of all the hype. I really enjoyed it, as did everyone I know. And I generally hate the rah-rah indie breakout hit of the year; I despised Little Miss Sunshine and the ground she walked on.

For me, the most overrated movie of the year is WALL-E; it's a great first half-hour, then becomes unfocused and uninteresting when we're sent to hang out with all the fat people, and the conclusion of the film is, well, unrealistic, if that's not a ridiculous thing to say when discussing an animated film about a trash compacter.
posted by OolooKitty at 7:05 PM on December 26, 2008


A Life Less Ordinary, The Beach, 28 Days Later - all of 'em are shit movies.

Danny Boyle is a terrible film director.
posted by dydecker at 7:12 PM on December 26, 2008


I thought the schmaltz, spectacle, and even the specific style of jump-cut editing were all a conscious tweaking of Bollywood tropes. It makes a counterpoint to the dark gritty reality of slum life, and also furthers the theme of using entertainment as an escape. Those larger-than-life Bollywood movies ARE an escape for everyone, regardless of class or caste. Anyway, I loved it! Not movie of the year, but close.
posted by naju at 7:13 PM on December 26, 2008


I happen to be in a critics' group with Armond White, and while I don't agree with him on much, he's not wrong about Slumdog Millionaire. I found the movie contrived, unconvincing, cynical, and exploitative. The whole thing is paper-thin -- if the story wasn't told in flashbacks and with a hoppin' soundtrack, it would be immediately obvious that it's pablum. Still, audiences and certain critics are liking it a lot, and from the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if it swept the Oscars the way it swept our NYFCO awards -- Armond's and my votes to the contrary. In fact, it's on my list of most overrated movies of the year.

For a great compilation of best-of lists, I highly recommend the annual indieWire poll. Slumdog comes in at 28.
posted by muckster at 7:15 PM on December 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


You know, I saw A Life Less Ordinary about a year and a half after it disappeared from theatres, and I remember enjoying it a lot. Haven't seen it since. My reaction could have either been a reflection of my diminished expectations, or it might have had to do with how sick I was. FWIW, based on that film I kind of wish Boyle had directed Nurse Betty. At least the shots would have been better framed and you wouldn't have the visible boom-in-frame problem...
posted by pxe2000 at 7:54 PM on December 26, 2008


I highly recommend the annual indieWire poll. Slumdog comes in at 28.

Also, Let the Right One In ranks #14, with the Batman movie down at #22. Sounds like a more reliable list. I'll have to get some of these others in the top ten while I'm at it.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:07 PM on December 26, 2008


You know, I saw A Life Less Ordinary about a year and a half after it disappeared from theatres, and I remember enjoying it a lot.

I enjoyed it for the most part, until we had the two protagonists talking to the camera at the end of the film. Seriously, why is this done? It's such a cheap device. And the only thing that kept me from loving Orlando.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:09 PM on December 26, 2008


I read the book some two years back. Loved the whole Arabian-Night-isque frame-story concept, as also the whole concept of lower-class India trying to meet middle-class India on extremely popular reality TV. Just about everything else in the book, though, was so full of cliches that it could have only been written by an upper-middle-class Indian who hasn't engaged the police in any fashion other than ordering them around.

So wasn't entirely looking forward to the movie, until someone pointed out that AR Rahman did the haunting OST. Now I'm all fidaa over it; the OST is just the catharsis I was looking for from the events of the past month. It's vintage Rahman, what with the drumbeats ascending into a train-inspired crescendo.

Speaking of English movies based in Bombay, may I suggest Little Zizou: it's a light-hearted, whimsical depiction of urban upper-middle class life in south Mumbai in the Parsi community.
posted by the cydonian at 8:24 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


I really liked Slumdog Millionaire, but I can understand where the haters are coming from. I think that Juno and Lost in Translation are among the worst fucking movies ever made, but I also realize that I'm probably the only person in the universe that feels this way. So, hate away, Slumdog haters, hate away.
posted by NoMich at 9:05 PM on December 26, 2008


I think that Juno and Lost in Translation are among the worst fucking movies ever made, but I also realize that I'm probably the only person in the universe that feels this way.

No, you're not alone. I'm definitely with you there with regards to Juno. Although I admit some ad hominem there, as Diablo Cody likes to tell her critics "I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby c*nt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't" and intimidate journalists.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:16 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


By the way, that link to the Cody quote has some very NSFW and not-very-bright language. Mostly from the comments section.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:25 PM on December 26, 2008


Yeah, this "film critic" is a total prankster.
posted by Curry at 9:58 PM on December 26, 2008


Think of how much less respect we'd have for the stars of yesteryear if they'd kept blogs and MySpace pages.

I don't know - I'd love to read some Bette Davis flame wars.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:30 PM on December 26, 2008 [2 favorites]


I actually liked Juno. It violated the usual rules of structure, though. It had no antagonist, which is a pretty risky thing to do. I frankly liked the stylized dialogue - it made it it's own specific world.

But it's all a matter of taste.

This Armond White person, on the other hand, has quite possibly the worst taste of any professional movie critic I've seen. I mean, they pay him for this? Transporter 3? Really?
posted by MythMaker at 11:03 PM on December 26, 2008


The only problem with 28 Days Later was that they changed the ending for the milquetoast sensibilities of Americans (if you haven't watched it on DVD you really have to, if you're a Yank).

Boyle is a highly uneven director. That said, I enjoy watching his films and will eventually see Slumdog, but my hopes are a bit lower than they were. It just sounds kind of cutesy, in spite of the ghetto trappings.

But you know what was really, really fucking terrible? 28 Weeks Later. My god, what a turd that was.
posted by bardic at 11:57 PM on December 26, 2008 [1 favorite]


i'm coming to this conversation very late and i just had a fight with my daddy and i also just asked out a very cute girl from the indian sub-continent to go see slumdog. and then i read through all of this commentary. and those strange reviews. and you know it's very moving to read this litany of your comments as i liked slumdog. i really, really liked the slumdog. it made me freak out. was that because i hadn't smoked a cigarette in over a week or gone to work as the snow was piled too high to bother? i don't know. maybe it's because the girl of indian descent i'm so enchanted with was far from my conversational reach and i was watching a movie i wanted to be watching with her. perhaps i was prepped to enjoy it as i'm obsessed with movie music from that part of the world and there is some bhangra in that motherfucker that just made me expand. i don't know. i really don't. i just loved that movie, the slumdog.

and then i read all this commentary and i am wondering if it really is just some schmaltzy crap that's perfectly timed for christmas. now i am feeling like a schmaltzy retard. now i am wondering if everybody really lost their happy bones and can i get away with sneaking up on you and smacking your elbows really hard. and i wonder if i hold out a creampie after i do it and the giggle-inducing tingle dies away if you will grab the pie and hit me with it. it's okay. it's my destiny. you can do it. but please stop sucking the life out of my joy. i hate movies enough as it is.
posted by artof.mulata at 2:03 AM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: pandering to liberal sensibilities while entertaining safe, middle-class distance.
posted by mek at 2:53 AM on December 27, 2008


Juno - Well it's okay, but the self-conciously hip dialogue just grated awhile. And totally did not deserve to win an Oscar. The 'My made-up name is on a Oscar' rant is far far funnier so I think there's still some hope in the future

Little Miss Sunshine - Are we for beauty parades? Are we against? Who cares... let's have another non-joke.

Lost in Translation - overrated vacuous asinine garbage

The Dark Knight - Well 1) The plot makes no sense whatsoever. 2) It's a prime-example of the de-blooding of cinema to maxamine the teen-audience. A guy getting shot point-blank with a machine gun or getting a pencil shoved through his eye... and there being no blood at all threw me right out of the film.

Man that feels better.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:09 AM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Just watched Slumdog. The Indian blogs are all rife on how the story seems to have been changed from a pan-religious criticism, if you will, to a Hindu-vs-Muslim thing; Ram Mohammed Thomas became Jamal Malik, for example, and that slums in Mumbai weren't really segregated till after the 1992 riots, what with Hindu victims being in there as well. Additionally, Christian-run orphanages had paedophilia, a film star groped young boys in a theater, and an Australian officer doing some mischief in Delhi. In short, everyone was a crook in the book.
I'm not entirely bothered about India's "image" or even a realistic setting in an obviously magic-real movie, but it's perhaps a good thing that most of that wooden writing was excised from the eventual script. The book _was_ confused; as I said, the premise was super-duper excellent, but the characterization and development in the book was extremely shoddy. The movie offered a lot better characterization, and a more coherent narrative; the characters were more nuanced, they had many more shades of gray, and it was more gritty.
That some of the main anchors were excellent actors helped; Irfan Khan and Anil Kapoor were awesome, the kid actors were amazing, and the final lead actors had all the charm of a high-school . I'm still quite bothered by the fact that the adult Jamal spoke with a clear British accent, and that his "Indian" mannerisms (the head wiggle when he says "Arrey, I am your dishwasher!" to a guard) a sad simulacrum of Russell Peters' desi vaudeville.
The movie's OST was the best, of course; as I said, vintage Rahman with Sivamani's drums and Rahman's own boatman's lament ("Ooooooooh saya....") culminating in MIA's hip-hop frenzy. This, as opposed to the movie, was cathartic; judging by the reaction in the desi blogosphere, the movie, per se, isn't really the balm that India's looking for. Rahman's music seperate from the movie, on the other hand, was just what the doctor ordered for this Indian. Every event, every epoch needs its own metaphor; post-26/11 Bombay couldnt have gotten a better theme song.
Vikas Swarup, the author, is India's deputy High Commissioner to South Africa, and seems to have been inspired by news of this project.
posted by the cydonian at 4:05 AM on December 27, 2008 [3 favorites]


What the FFF?!!! Where did all my para-spacing go? :-O I swear to god I put in them <p></p>'s.
posted by the cydonian at 4:07 AM on December 27, 2008


> A.I. is equal to Kubrick’s finest work.

Oh my God. Oh my God. This guy should have had his wrists and ankles bound in celluloid and then been thrown into the East River after writing that.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:06 AM on December 27, 2008 [2 favorites]


Reading further, I see White also enjoyed Norbit, which definitely means I need not concern myself with his opinions.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:11 AM on December 27, 2008


Norbit? Jesus.
posted by graventy at 8:26 AM on December 27, 2008


While it;s not actually bad or anything, I do suspect that Dark Knight benefits from the Crow effect, only times by about a million.
posted by Artw at 9:32 AM on December 27, 2008


Slumdog is an escapist Disney fairy tale for adults, not a documentary about the socioeconomic problems of economically challenged Indians.
Jeez, get laid or do some more drugs.
posted by hooptycritter at 10:10 AM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


By christ, Metafilter, you sure do hate everything.
posted by billypilgrim at 10:20 AM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


You know, after being a bit disapointed by A Life Less Ordinary I'm actually kind of find it now - it's not a grimfest like Shallow Grave or alternately hip and grim like Trainspotting, it's more lightweight, fun and yes, kind of schmaltzy, and there's bnothingf really wrong with that.

When I go to see Slumdog I'll very much be wearing my Life Less Ordinary hat and not my Trainspotting hat.

(Actually I'll be wearing my Millioins hat, but as mentioned above no other fucker saw that)
posted by Artw at 10:34 AM on December 27, 2008


I thought Slumdog Millionaire was exceptional. The cinematography is quite breathtaking. The story and themes are intriguing and timely. I enjoy listening to the soundtrack as well. Comparing it to Forrest Gump is unfair since that film was not a global picture. It was clearly an American film; whereas, Slumdog Millionaire is meant to appeal to global audiences: north and south.
posted by sswiller at 11:43 AM on December 27, 2008


The Dark Knight - Well 1) The plot makes no sense whatsoever. 2) It's a prime-example of the de-blooding of cinema to maxamine the teen-audience. A guy getting shot point-blank with a machine gun or getting a pencil shoved through his eye... and there being no blood at all threw me right out of the film.

B-but ... the Joker set money on fire! That's crazy, right? Who does that?!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:02 PM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


B-but ... the Joker set money on fire! That's crazy, right? Who does that?!

"it's not about making money, it's about taking money. Destroying the status quo, because the status is *not* quo"
posted by Tenuki at 1:33 PM on December 27, 2008


"it's not about making money, it's about taking money. Destroying the status quo, because the status is *not* quo"

I expect the audience was supposed to react the same way the Riddler did when Batman revealed to him that he was Bruce Wayne.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:43 PM on December 27, 2008




He's not in-sane, he's SUPER-sane!!!!
posted by Artw at 1:51 PM on December 27, 2008


Ah, the trick was to put on the Bollywood trope glasses. Now I'm really enjoying the movie a lot more!

And it's true, the child actors are brilliant.
posted by nickyskye at 7:59 PM on December 27, 2008


The Joker is the anti-Batman, Batman's equal and opposite. He's as intelligent and as driven, and, at the end, as fundamentally misguided in his intuition about the nobility of the common man. Batman placed all his hope in a shining "white knight", believing that people needed a paragon to behave morally, and the Joker was convinced that people are mere animals, ready to devour each other alive. Both were wrong, and the director did a great job of showing the price they both paid for their errors - Joker's capture and humiliation, and Batman's exile.

(Nerdboy can go at this all... day... long. Don't even ask me about the weird tongue thing the Joker was doing throughout the movie. Yes, you can see the scars on the outside of his cheeks... but what goes unsaid is that he has them on the inside, too, and he constantly probes and tests them with his tongue, absentmindedly, subconsciously. Ledger earned his Oscar right there.)

((Oh, and there isn't that much blood, generally, until the body is on the ground and bleeding out. Holding focus on an inert body pumping out blood onto the pavement is a first-class ticket to NC-17 land. They didn't need to show a hint of blood, or even the pencil entering the eye, to get across the horror of the moment. First rule of Spielberg horror: what you don't see but must imagine is always more terrible than what is shown to you with glorious special effects.))
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:38 PM on December 27, 2008 [1 favorite]


Dark Knight blew chunks. Almost as bad as the first one.

Not sure why Marvel can make a superhero flick and DC can't.
posted by bardic at 9:56 PM on December 27, 2008


Just watched Slumdog for the third time and I really want to take back my cranky remarks above. I think it's marvelous!
posted by nickyskye at 12:49 AM on December 28, 2008


Wait, so the Joker really orchestrated that big truck chase just so that he could get caught and go to prison, then he could kidnap that guard and grab his phone to make the call to set off the bomb he'd previously sewn inside the henchman in the next cell?

Once he killed Dent in the big truck chase, he would have let himself get caught, allowing him to get to Lau, the mafia accountant. Batman stepping in changes none of that, in fact, it almost guarantees it since Batman has qualms about killing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:58 AM on December 28, 2008


"I can buy that they have faster-than-light speed travel and that every alien race is humanoid, and one of the aliens can come back from the dead by being on a freshly-terraformed planet, but TIME TRAVEL? Pah!"

All a movie has to do is establish rules and then follow them. Once it violates its own rules, it's a problem. Let's let up a bit on hating.
posted by grubi at 11:45 AM on December 28, 2008


First rule of Spielberg horror: what you don't see but must imagine is always more terrible than what is shown to you with glorious special effects.

Isn't that more like Hitchcock's rule?
posted by krinklyfig at 8:43 PM on December 28, 2008


4 Golden Globes, A R Rahman gets the first Golden Globe for an Indian.
posted by Artw at 10:16 PM on January 11, 2009


I bet Armond White would flip his lid at this...
Slumdog Millionaire could only have been made by a westerner
posted by Artw at 11:56 AM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]




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