The Onion Vs. President Bush
January 19, 2009 7:28 AM Subscribe
I like how they've been torturing him in every issue now for a while. Esp. like hte spiders in his brain.
posted by DenOfSizer at 7:32 AM on January 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by DenOfSizer at 7:32 AM on January 19, 2009 [2 favorites]
March 9, 2005: Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy: ‘We’ll Go Through Iran’.
That Iran attack that Seymour Hersh and others kept warning us about never did materialize. [Unless they've got one planned in the next 26 hours.] I wonder who got to whom.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:34 AM on January 19, 2009
That Iran attack that Seymour Hersh and others kept warning us about never did materialize. [Unless they've got one planned in the next 26 hours.] I wonder who got to whom.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:34 AM on January 19, 2009
This, of course, is the gold standard: Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’.
It's all in there: selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.
posted by ColdChef at 7:38 AM on January 19, 2009 [18 favorites]
It's all in there: selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.
During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.
posted by ColdChef at 7:38 AM on January 19, 2009 [18 favorites]
ColdChef, I still can't believe how well they nailed that one.
posted by tip120 at 7:50 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by tip120 at 7:50 AM on January 19, 2009
Yep - that's it as far as the Onion is concerned - they can never again reach that height - published January 17th, 2001.
posted by jettloe at 7:52 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by jettloe at 7:52 AM on January 19, 2009
That 2001 Onion article was pretty funny when it was written but somehow it's not so funny now.
posted by octothorpe at 8:06 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 8:06 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
I liked the string of stories they had where he was having limbs chewed off by exotic wildlife, falling down every single flight of stairs at the Washington Monument, or being dragged behind the Presidential Motorcade for 26 blocks.
Of course, each story ended with him "resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital."
You know you wish it actually happened.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:07 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]
Of course, each story ended with him "resting comfortably in Bethesda Naval Hospital."
You know you wish it actually happened.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:07 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]
That Iran attack that Seymour Hersh and others kept warning us about never did materialize. [Unless they've got one planned in the next 26 hours.] I wonder who got to whom.
I'm of the belief that Seymour Hersh kept harping on this story to keep it from happening, his reply to Cheney's 1% Solution. I think he figured the choice between protecting his career and saving the lives of millions of innocents was a no brainer. Too bad so few in politics think the same way.
posted by any major dude at 8:23 AM on January 19, 2009 [5 favorites]
I'm of the belief that Seymour Hersh kept harping on this story to keep it from happening, his reply to Cheney's 1% Solution. I think he figured the choice between protecting his career and saving the lives of millions of innocents was a no brainer. Too bad so few in politics think the same way.
posted by any major dude at 8:23 AM on January 19, 2009 [5 favorites]
This, of course, is the gold standard: Bush: ‘Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’.
Indeed. What's a satirist to do when a Failed Attempt At Hyperbole Yields Dead-On Results?
posted by namespan at 8:28 AM on January 19, 2009
Indeed. What's a satirist to do when a Failed Attempt At Hyperbole Yields Dead-On Results?
posted by namespan at 8:28 AM on January 19, 2009
The corollary to that Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over’ article is actually one by the Guardian in a "pretending to be The Onion" mood.
After eight long tiresome years, President Al Gore won't be missed. Even if he did save the plant.
posted by orange swan at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2009 [4 favorites]
After eight long tiresome years, President Al Gore won't be missed. Even if he did save the plant.
posted by orange swan at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2009 [4 favorites]
Planet. Sigh.
posted by orange swan at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by orange swan at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2009
The Bush Years: As Told By MAD Magazine Covers
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 9:03 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 9:03 AM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
This one crossed my tolerance. I hoped to make it through 2003.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:07 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:07 AM on January 19, 2009
When I think of how close the election was in 2000 and everything that's happened since, I wonder how Declan Mccullagh manages to sleep at night.
posted by mhoye at 10:13 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by mhoye at 10:13 AM on January 19, 2009
When I read Mad Magazine as a kid, I thought the lifetime subscription would be the best thing ever, but I never ponied up the money. I stopped reading after a couple years. Now, I almost wish I still checked them out once and a while - those are pretty decent covers, and I'm intrigued by their Worst of the Year lists.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by filthy light thief at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2009
It's sort of funny how this music video now works as satire. It's intended to be pro-Bush, but it's strutting, insulting tone (including using the schoolyard taunt of nah-nah-nah-NAH-NAH-nah) and the fact that it was wrong about every single thing makes it seem like an especially vicious satire of the tone of conservative partisans of the Bush era.
Did I say funny? I mean it makes me want to cry and cry and cry.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:44 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]
Did I say funny? I mean it makes me want to cry and cry and cry.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:44 AM on January 19, 2009 [3 favorites]
But Bush WAS right about everything. It was the Defeatocrat traitors and the blame America first liberal media that snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Or vice versa, or whatever it takes for the Right to be right, mutatis mutandis.
posted by fleetmouse at 11:01 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by fleetmouse at 11:01 AM on January 19, 2009
Looks like the Onion won.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:45 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by Smedleyman at 11:45 AM on January 19, 2009
Fool America once... can't get fooled again?
posted by blue_beetle at 11:59 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by blue_beetle at 11:59 AM on January 19, 2009
Bush, Cheney Stand Back-To-Back, Cock Shotguns One Last Time
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:59 AM on January 19, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:59 AM on January 19, 2009
The weekly coverage has cracked me up. I am looking forward to Wednesday. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out" is probably gentler than their headline will be.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:19 PM on January 19, 2009
posted by Pronoiac at 12:19 PM on January 19, 2009
I'm just shocked that I never really noticed how much Bush looks like Afred E Newman. Hell, even the "What, Me Worry?" fits.
At some point, we are going to have to take a hard look at our decision making process, and come to grips with the fact that we even remotely tolerated a Mad Magazine caricature as our Commander in Chief for the last eight years.
posted by quin at 12:30 PM on January 19, 2009
At some point, we are going to have to take a hard look at our decision making process, and come to grips with the fact that we even remotely tolerated a Mad Magazine caricature as our Commander in Chief for the last eight years.
posted by quin at 12:30 PM on January 19, 2009
It is weird how the Onion predicted the Bush presidency back in 2001 - not so funny now.
posted by nightwired at 12:36 PM on January 19, 2009
posted by nightwired at 12:36 PM on January 19, 2009
When I read Mad Magazine as a kid, I thought the lifetime subscription would be the best thing ever, but I never ponied up the money. I stopped reading after a couple years. Now, I almost wish I still checked them out once and a while - those are pretty decent covers, and I'm intrigued by their Worst of the Year lists.
I read it monthly from maybe age 9 to age 14, and my recollection is that once every two or three months the letters page had a letter from some middle-aged guy saying, "I read Mad as a kid in the fifties and stopped years ago, but I picked up your most recent issue and found it better than ever! Enclosed is a check for $___ -- sign me up for a subscription!"
Now that I am middle-aged myself, about once every year or two I pick up a copy of Mad at the magazine rack, leaf through it for a minute or two, and then silently put it back, thinking, "Nope, not yet."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:40 PM on January 19, 2009
I read it monthly from maybe age 9 to age 14, and my recollection is that once every two or three months the letters page had a letter from some middle-aged guy saying, "I read Mad as a kid in the fifties and stopped years ago, but I picked up your most recent issue and found it better than ever! Enclosed is a check for $___ -- sign me up for a subscription!"
Now that I am middle-aged myself, about once every year or two I pick up a copy of Mad at the magazine rack, leaf through it for a minute or two, and then silently put it back, thinking, "Nope, not yet."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:40 PM on January 19, 2009
I'm Really Gonna Miss Systematically Destroying This Place.
posted by benzenedream at 1:09 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by benzenedream at 1:09 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
From the comments section: A link-annotated version of the 'long national nightmare' Onion article.
posted by Rhaomi at 1:24 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Rhaomi at 1:24 PM on January 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
I really like this one: Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works
posted by nooneyouknow at 2:23 PM on January 19, 2009
posted by nooneyouknow at 2:23 PM on January 19, 2009
"Yep - that's it as far as the Onion is concerned - they can never again reach that height - published January 17th, 2001."
posted by jettloe at 1:52 AM on January 20
Yeah, it was pretty good and spot-on. But this one came pretty damn close for me.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:43 PM on January 19, 2009
posted by jettloe at 1:52 AM on January 20
Yeah, it was pretty good and spot-on. But this one came pretty damn close for me.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:43 PM on January 19, 2009
quin: I'm just shocked that I never really noticed how much Bush looks like Afred E Newman. Hell, even the "What, Me Worry?" fits.
I've always thought that MAD should have used him to replace Alfred E. Neuman long ago.
posted by sambosambo at 7:24 PM on January 19, 2009
I've always thought that MAD should have used him to replace Alfred E. Neuman long ago.
posted by sambosambo at 7:24 PM on January 19, 2009
Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote
beauty
posted by dougzilla at 11:41 PM on January 19, 2009
beauty
posted by dougzilla at 11:41 PM on January 19, 2009
Good work!
posted by popadoodle at 4:02 AM on January 20, 2009
posted by popadoodle at 4:02 AM on January 20, 2009
It's reeeally tempting to wikify this. I might have a problem.
posted by Pronoiac at 5:19 PM on January 20, 2009
posted by Pronoiac at 5:19 PM on January 20, 2009
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posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:31 AM on January 19, 2009 [4 favorites]