Kangaringu
February 17, 2009 4:56 PM   Subscribe

 
The most terrifying picture of a kangaroo you will see all day

I beg to differ.
posted by dersins at 5:04 PM on February 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


"You, who commented in this post, you are going to die in one week from now in this same time. There's only one way to survive. And that is-"
posted by tellurian at 5:09 PM on February 17, 2009


Roo Ate my links. Try again.

No
Oooh
Grr
Throb
posted by lalochezia at 5:12 PM on February 17, 2009


This seems like more of an ask.metafilter sort of question, but since you all brought it up - is kangaroo boxing as fucked up as it seems? What sort of psychopath goes into a ring to punch a herbivore? Was it rarer than Hannah and Barbara led me to believe?
posted by bonecrusher at 5:13 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Jesus, at least the first one's got the decency to cover up his tackle.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:17 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Procoptodon Goliah.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:19 PM on February 17, 2009


You wouldn't tell by looking at her, that this gentle-looking wisp of a woman summoned the courage to twice drive through the wall of flames. Nor would you surmise that her 16-year-old son Josh, a lanky, dreadlocked kid, as kind as his mum, had enough composure to grab wet towels for himself and his father as they fled their burning house and dived into a dam.

This reminded me of a passage in Bill Bryson's book on Australia - In a Sunburned Country:

By coincidence, a few nights earlier I had watched a television documentary about the immigrant experience in the 1950s. One of the people interviewed was a man who had arrived from Hungary as a teenager after the uprising there. On his first full day in the country he had gone as instructed to the local police station and explained in halting English that he was a new immigrant who had been told to register his address. The sergeant stared at him for a moment, then risen from his seat and come around the desk. The Hungarian recalled that for one bewildered moment he thought the policeman might be about to strike him, but instead the sergeant thrust out a meaty hand and said warmly, "Welcome to Australia, son." The Hungarian recalled the incident with wonder even now, and when he finished there were tears in his eyes.

I like the Australians.
posted by Joe Beese at 5:21 PM on February 17, 2009 [9 favorites]


I flagged this but I can't seem to move on.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:22 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


...is kangaroo boxing as fucked up as it seems?

Moreso.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:22 PM on February 17, 2009


cool photo, although it irks me to no end that print based media still doesnt get that on the internet photo's can be larger
posted by bosun_bones at 5:23 PM on February 17, 2009


bonecrusher: " Was [kangaroo boxing] rarer than Hannah and Barbara led me to believe?"

No idea. But it is wise to question assumptions derived from cartoons.

When my friend showed me how to smoke my first cigar, he explained that you have to bite off the end to let the smoke come through. I chomped off an inch or so an he recoiled in dismay. "No, just a small hole! Why did you bite off so much?"

After a moment's consideration of the question, I had to confess, "That's the way J. Jonah Jameson always did it."
posted by Joe Beese at 5:26 PM on February 17, 2009 [13 favorites]


"Now we have to lick their..." What?
posted by sneebler at 5:27 PM on February 17, 2009


Yes, that first link was indeed terrifying. I half expect to hear that kangaroo start talking...

"I am gravely disappointed. Again, you have made me unleash my dogs of war. Look at what remains of your gallant scouts. Why? Because you're selfish. You hoard your gasoline. You will not listen to reason..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:28 PM on February 17, 2009 [14 favorites]


Oh man… Old Man Roo. You guys just can't help but be cute, can you?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:28 PM on February 17, 2009


kangaroo boxing

Does anyone know if they ever caught that douche bag who beat up a kangaroo and posted the video online last year?
posted by burnmp3s at 5:29 PM on February 17, 2009


That second one, he was very big...down under.
posted by applemeat at 5:32 PM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]




Does anyone know if they ever caught that douche bag who beat up a kangaroo and posted the video online last year?


That truly sickens me.
posted by scarello at 5:33 PM on February 17, 2009


Haha, I was thinking the same thing: that second photo doesn't need to be any bigger. His package is big enough at that resolution, thanks.
posted by jamstigator at 5:34 PM on February 17, 2009


Hmm... I don't think so... had you posted this at 11:59PM - maybe... but the east coasties have 3 and a half hours, and the west coasties have 6 and a half hours - and most of the euros are already on tomorrow... so they've basically got all day...

That's a lot of time for photoshopping kangaroos...
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:35 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is the most amusing kangaroo picture I've ever seen. (It was posted to the blue before, but I can't resist linking again.)
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:36 PM on February 17, 2009 [11 favorites]


Is this something I would have to be terrified by kangaroo pictures to understand?
posted by DU at 5:37 PM on February 17, 2009 [6 favorites]


Would this make more sense to me if dingoes ate my baby?
posted by eyeballkid at 5:41 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


burnmp3s, this is the the most recent follow-up I could find on that particular story.

Looks like kangaroo torture is become something of a hobby for the young folk of Western Australia (upsetting links within).
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:43 PM on February 17, 2009


Incidentally, whilst I try to work out what this is all about, what's the correct term for kangaroo phobia?
posted by ob at 5:43 PM on February 17, 2009


Hoppyzoophobia
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:47 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's not a kangaroo, this is a kangaroo.
posted by stavrogin at 5:47 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Slightly larger photo of Sadako here.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:56 PM on February 17, 2009


fallout.bethsoft.au
posted by ryoshu at 5:57 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Nor would you surmise that her 16-year-old son Josh, a lanky, dreadlocked kid, as kind as his mum, had enough composure to grab wet towels for himself and his father as they fled their burning house and dived into a dam.

Why wouldn't I surmise that, exactly? I tend to assume most people are anti- burning to death. This assumption tends to trump the one about lanky, dreadlocked 16-year-olds and their propensity to get toasted.

Also: Kangaroos are not terrifying. This is why so many tourists are mauled by them.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:59 PM on February 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


Mod note: Hey this is a great excuse for me to brag that my photo is the number one result when you Google for "kangaroo feet" no, not MY feet....
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:11 PM on February 17, 2009 [2 favorites]




Looks like kangaroo torture is become something of a hobby for the young folk of Western Australia (upsetting links within).

Yeah, been quite the headline grabber these last couple of days. On the radio yesterday they said they had MURDERED the kangaroo. Good heavens.

There's something positively human about them when they prop themselves up with one elbow [a favourite resting posture for them]. I was looking for a genuine example, but this 'shopped version illustrates it nicely.

The only thing 'shopped in this photo is the beer. That is how they rest.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:12 PM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]






Kangaroos are scary
posted by hortense at 6:37 PM on February 17, 2009


Exactly like that, ooga_booga. But the camera angle is a bit too high on that shot. /pedant.

Perth zoo still has them in a walk-thru cage. Fairly much the only animals at the zoo you're allowed to mingle with. It's kinda freaky be in amongst 10-12 of them, all with that pose. Maxin' and relaxin'.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:38 PM on February 17, 2009


I wonder how a kangaroo would do versus a bear. Badly I presume.

(Was it on QI where they had the factoid that the gold miners used to have bears fight lions, but the lions sucked and always lost?)
posted by smackfu at 6:42 PM on February 17, 2009


The most terrifying picture of a kangaroo you will see all day.

Surely not. (NSFW)
posted by CaseyB at 6:49 PM on February 17, 2009


Those kangaroos have got nothin' on this wombat. WHO WANTS PANCAKES?
posted by Evangeline at 6:50 PM on February 17, 2009


Terrifying? No. Awesome? Quite possibly!
posted by slogger at 6:52 PM on February 17, 2009


Oh no, my wombat link didn't take! Here.
posted by Evangeline at 6:54 PM on February 17, 2009


YOU GONNA
GET GNAWED
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:02 PM on February 17, 2009


I wonder how a kangaroo would do versus a bear. Badly I presume.

True, but imagine how many kids a 'roo could take out.
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:02 PM on February 17, 2009


When I was in Australia last March my family and I came across a man feeding four eastern greys. Turns out that they were semi-feral kangaroos he'd raised after they were orphaned. We all got to feed them from our hands. Very special moment for a family from Iceland.

That said, I wouldn't get too close to a big red kangaroo... they look like they could do some major damage with very little effort.
posted by Kattullus at 7:05 PM on February 17, 2009


Maybe it was a sort of pre-echo* of this that put me off Schwinn Bicycles when I was a kid....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:09 PM on February 17, 2009


Could a typical kangaroo, armed only with a knife, (say, six or eight inches long) be trained to consistently "win" fights with a grizzly bear? Assume no element of surprise.
posted by breath at 7:11 PM on February 17, 2009


What if the kangaroo had a crossbow?
posted by Sys Rq at 7:26 PM on February 17, 2009


Kangaroo v human. Kangaroo v dingo.
posted by tellurian at 7:43 PM on February 17, 2009


What if the kangaroo had a bazooka?
posted by localroger at 7:45 PM on February 17, 2009


That said, I wouldn't get too close to a big red kangaroo... they look like they could do some major damage with very little effort.

"The kangaroo was about this tall [gestures with hand]. But not if you count the stage. If you count the stage that would make them 16 feet tall [suddenly changes his tone of voice to mischievous].

OK, if there's any tourist here: Kangaroos are 16 fucking feet tall. With big teeth and stuff."

-Rodney Rude

Kattullus, when are we swapping member numbers? You promised.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:57 PM on February 17, 2009


Until seeing that first picture -- and subsequently questioning the benevolence of numerous divine beings -- I never appreciated how closely a kangaroo resembles a freaking Deathclaw.
posted by Kikkoman at 8:11 PM on February 17, 2009


uncanny hengeman: Kattullus, when are we swapping member numbers? You promised.

Hey now, you got to start using the number right away... I had to wait two, cold, long years before I could start commenting and posting and whatnot.
posted by Kattullus at 8:12 PM on February 17, 2009


Kangaroos and full size Poodles man, the original OG residents of the Uncanny Valley.

You ever see a full size poodle take a shit? There's something about the breadth of their shoulders and looseness of their hips, looks like a hippie letting go behind a tree when the Portapotty is clogged, more real than real, Bladerunner ain't in it. Same thing with Kangaroos, cousins, weird cousins.

Big up Australia, y'all motherfuckers are charming.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:19 PM on February 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


In my time, I've seen kangaroos do things that even a kangaroo wouldn't do.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:02 PM on February 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Paraphrased from The Lost Skeleton of the Cadavras.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:03 PM on February 17, 2009


After watching this week's episode of Flight of the Conchords, I'm a little concerned that we allow Australians to post to this site. They don't seem like a trustworthy bunch.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:13 PM on February 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


You ever see a full size poodle take a shit?

And how!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:49 PM on February 17, 2009


Fuck you, Kangaroo.
posted by cazoo at 9:55 PM on February 17, 2009


Oh man… Old Man Roo. You guys just can't help but be cute, can you?

That "old man [animal]" construct comes from blackfella language.

I think it simultaneously includes both a level of respect for the animal which has survived to become old & big, but also includes an element of "Woohoo! Let's kill & eat this one!" - the blackfellas generally had taboos against killing young animals; a bit like the way fishermen throw back fish if they're too small.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:13 PM on February 17, 2009


is kangaroo boxing as fucked up as it seems?

Fans of the Mighty Boosh know what to do: punch 'em in the nuts!
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:16 PM on February 17, 2009


copy & paste: http://natyoung.4t.com/images/kangaroo.jpg
posted by metaplectic at 10:18 PM on February 17, 2009




Oh carp. My metafilter profile has my email address in it. Nevermind. Ignore my challlenge.
posted by porpoise at 10:37 PM on February 17, 2009


is kangaroo boxing as fucked up as it seems?

Sometimes it's pretty funny.
posted by Ritchie at 11:19 PM on February 17, 2009


Killer Willard is the king of kangaroos!

Plus, he makes me laugh so much!
posted by orme at 5:35 AM on February 18, 2009


Whenever I see pictures of kangaroos, I'm reminded of my dream of getting a bunch of rabbits and a couple of wallabies, just so that I can let them wander around my yard grazing, and I can run over to my neighbors and scream, "My god! They got into the chemicals in the shed! Look what they are turning into! Run for your lives!"
posted by quin at 10:29 AM on February 18, 2009


This would be a weak post on FARK.
A week ago I didn't know what someone meant by "the farkification of mefi."
posted by cmoj at 10:59 AM on February 18, 2009


“What sort of psychopath goes into a ring to punch a herbivore?”
Roman Karmazin

(he beat Keith Holmes who’s a vegetarian....it’s uh, funny if you know boxing *cough*)
posted by Smedleyman at 11:58 AM on February 18, 2009


This would be a weak post on FARK.

Like hell it would I'd get a dozen +1's for that headline alone.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2009


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