No time to squat? There's an app for that.
June 4, 2009 7:32 AM   Subscribe

 
I would love to see either Billy Mays or Vince Offer do an infomercial for this.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:42 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


No more crossed legs or uncomfortable squatting.

Now I'm curious...why would you cross your legs to urinate?
posted by creasy boy at 7:42 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


And there's this.
posted by Danf at 7:43 AM on June 4, 2009


I saw something like this many years ago. And as one female commenter laughed at the time, "What am I supposed to do with it after I piss through it? Put it back in my purse?"
posted by Joe Beese at 7:44 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Why is the MeFi-worthy? I mean, it's not evan a new innovation.
posted by amro at 7:54 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


even
posted by amro at 7:54 AM on June 4, 2009


Should be called the Ms Ps.
posted by alasdair at 7:56 AM on June 4, 2009 [5 favorites]


Now I'm curious...why would you cross your legs to urinate?

You would cross your legs because you had to pee really bad and there was nowhere to go.
posted by not that girl at 7:56 AM on June 4, 2009


Joe Beese: "I saw something like this many years ago. And as one female commenter laughed at the time, "What am I supposed to do with it after I piss through it? Put it back in my purse?""

That's why you need to get the specially designed case. Or, better yet, you can just get Shewee Extreme which comes with the case and includes "a longer length outlet pipe for when wearing bulky clothing in extreme weather conditions and so that all eventualities are covered."

If they do a demo video of the Shewee Extreme, they should totally use Mountain Dew as the stand-in liquid.
posted by defenestration at 7:57 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Meh. Which is to say, hurf durf funnel weer.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 7:57 AM on June 4, 2009


At long last, women can experience the joy of writing their names in the snow with their pee.
posted by brain_drain at 8:00 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


It bothers me on a design level, though I'm of mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it's attempting to solve a problem by emulating a better solution i.e. the way males can pee. On the other hand, is that really the best solution for women? If not, then what would a better solution be?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:01 AM on June 4, 2009


Hike/climb/ski/jog off the beaten track, miles from the nearest toilet.

I have never, nor would I ever, consider dating a woman who wasn't comfortable peeing in the wilderness. This is just plain wrong.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:04 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have never, nor would I ever, consider dating a woman who wasn't comfortable peeing in the wilderness.

Thanks for the info, I'm sure they were curious.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:07 AM on June 4, 2009 [7 favorites]


The inevitable Nintendo tie-in game will be called ShePii.
posted by jbickers at 8:08 AM on June 4, 2009


Also see:
Shenis
P-Mate
Uri-mate
Freshette
Shewee
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 8:11 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Um, not to repeat the Shewee or anything...
3-minute pony?
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 8:12 AM on June 4, 2009


Someone has trademarked the funnel?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:13 AM on June 4, 2009


So... it's a cup with a hole in it?
posted by HumanComplex at 8:13 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have one of these! It's called a penis! Hahaha! Most of you women will never know the joy of peeing off the South Street Bridge.

Oh, and "Shenis" is up to 98% awesome or more!

Finally, it appears to be National Exclamation Point Overuse Day! In my head anyway!
posted by Mister_A at 8:14 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


My sister-in-law sold something similar fifteen years ago or so and it is disposable. Here's a video for the P-Mate, too. Yeah, this is a very old product.
posted by jeanmari at 8:14 AM on June 4, 2009


I actually want one of these for big outdoor events that only have porta-johns.
posted by PuppyCat at 8:15 AM on June 4, 2009


Little John (w/female adapter)
posted by box at 8:15 AM on June 4, 2009


Dude! Using that as a bong! Would be both gross! And awesome!
posted by Mister_A at 8:16 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


pepswee blue
posted by mattoxic at 8:20 AM on June 4, 2009


Really old news. Has been around for over twenty years. Was originally called Sani-Fem and sold in Outdoor stores like REI.
posted by Xurando at 8:25 AM on June 4, 2009


One of the logos on the T-Shirts they sell is "Stand up take control".

I've noticed a lot of advertising targeted at women uses that phrase "take control" or similar.

I wonder if in some market research it's been found that women often don't feel in control. I can't remember ever seeing a product aimed at men (or unisex) that uses the phrase.

Anyway...
posted by selton at 8:28 AM on June 4, 2009


Love the title of this FPP, BrandonBlatcher. Nice job.

This may be "old", but I just received a pitch from one of these products. The new interest has to do with Tyra Banks talking on her show about how "empowering" it is to be able to stand up to pee like a man, apparently.
posted by misha at 8:31 AM on June 4, 2009


Don't forget the Lady J. There sure are a lot of these types of gadgets.
posted by exogenous at 8:36 AM on June 4, 2009


Brandon Blatcher, I'm glad you asked.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:37 AM on June 4, 2009


I hope lots of women start using things like this. Then I can chase after them saying "You dripped on the floor and forgot to put the seat down! Amateur!"
posted by Pastabagel at 8:43 AM on June 4, 2009


The gals at the beginning of The Full Monty seemed to do OK without one.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:44 AM on June 4, 2009


This seems to be a stunning example of the world gone awry.
posted by ND¢ at 8:46 AM on June 4, 2009


I saw something like this many years ago. And as one female commenter laughed at the time, "What am I supposed to do with it after I piss through it? Put it back in my purse?"

Well, I mean, we have to put our equivalent back in our pants and can't conceivably rinse it out first. Is the purse issue really that much worse?
posted by FishBike at 8:57 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Are they taking the piss?
posted by gomichild at 8:59 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, I mean, we have to put our equivalent back in our pants and can't conceivably rinse it out first. Is the purse issue really that much worse?

Surface area issue. You've got one drop getting absorbed by your pants, as opposed to the inside of a plastic funnel covered in pee stinking up your bag/getting pee on other items in bag.
posted by desuetude at 9:02 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


They don't have any info on their site at all, but since at least 2003, these folks have been giving away as many homemade (solo cups and tubing) pee funnels as they could.

On further research, it turns out this is almost a double post, though this one's to a different brand. Also, in the intervening eight years P-Mate changed their URL.

Also, it looks like the shenis has been around for as long as their web design suggests.
posted by aubilenon at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like the fact that something known to most women for years still gets a 'wtf' tag from a man. Sweet.
posted by Sova at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2009


We know what you’d be hearing, but what might you be thinking if you’re the unsuspecting woman in the stall next to that of the woman using this thing?
posted by walrus hunter at 9:11 AM on June 4, 2009


"La Funelle" (which doesn't have a website) has been around since the early 80s, back when Shewee was only a tinkle in its inventor's eye.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:15 AM on June 4, 2009


The military issued me one of these things several years ago... called it a "Female Urinary Device" and it was bright pink plastic. (I'd never seen anything like it before that.) The point, they told me, was not to stand around and use it, but if you were stuck in a Humvee for a long period of time - men could pee into a bottle or open the door, and women needed assistance to do the same.

You know, because clearly the only thing that had been stopping women from peeing inside a vehicle with men around was the need for a funnel.

I found squatting preferable, personally.
posted by lullaby at 9:23 AM on June 4, 2009


Little John (w/female adapter)
posted by box at 8:15 AM on June 4 [+] [!]


YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:23 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


peeing standing up isn't hard... it's that the opening in your pants isn't in the right place. my climber friend's mom sewed her a longer zipper that opened all the way to her ass... now that's an innovation.
posted by hereticfig at 9:39 AM on June 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


"Portable urinating device"? Man, if I had a device that urinates, the last thing I'd want to do is carry it about with me.
posted by yoink at 9:40 AM on June 4, 2009


An innovation in hotness, hereticfig!
posted by Mister_A at 9:41 AM on June 4, 2009


Tip! Practise with Shewee in the shower to find the best position for you.

Gross.
posted by Awakened at 9:43 AM on June 4, 2009


I had a lady friend demonstrate something she called the "crab manuever", that allowed her to pee standing up without your fancy-schmancy devices. So called because it involved a lot of pinching.
posted by Jilder at 9:53 AM on June 4, 2009


The only thing that saddens me about being female is that I will never be able to experience peeing on a fire or off of a balcony. (Using an assistive device doesn't count.)
posted by little e at 9:54 AM on June 4, 2009


Tip! Practise with Shewee in the shower to find the best position for you.

Gross.


Why is it gross? You wash all the other filth off yourself in the shower, what's wrong with a little urine?

I pee in the shower, as does my wife. Not at the same time.
posted by explosion at 10:01 AM on June 4, 2009


I have never, nor would I ever, consider dating a woman who wasn't comfortable peeing in the wilderness. This is just plain wrong.

You realize that peeing in the wilderness is a lot harder for women than men, right? Not just emotionally/culturally, but physically as well. Peeing in the wilderness for men is about the same as peeing at a urinal. But for women, it's a whole nother ballgame.
posted by lunasol at 10:02 AM on June 4, 2009


I'm just trying to figure out why the shenis is circumcised.
posted by michswiss at 10:02 AM on June 4, 2009


Because it's Jewish?
posted by Jilder at 10:04 AM on June 4, 2009


I have never, nor would I ever, consider dating a woman who wasn't comfortable peeing in the wilderness

Damn right. It's actually an essential strategy when you're well off the beaten track. Far into the Australian outback, they give you three pieces of advice to save your life if you're planning to go a long way off tarmac roads:

1) Take plenty of food, water and fuel
2) If you break down, stay with your vehicle
3) If you need help quickly and you have no phone or VHF access, get your other half to take a pee right by the side of the track, at which point several 4x4s will appear from nowhere.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:33 AM on June 4, 2009 [4 favorites]


My gf has one of these (she calls it her "penis") for backpacking -- she LOVES it!
posted by coolguymichael at 10:34 AM on June 4, 2009


Wow, are there really people who are actually too lazy to sit down?

Or is this just more quasi-feminist penis/power conflation?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on June 4, 2009




"Wow, are there really people who are actually too lazy to sit down?"

During heavy mosquito season or during a blizzard you want to be exposing as little flesh as possible to the outside world.
posted by Mitheral at 10:50 AM on June 4, 2009


You realize that peeing in the wilderness is a lot harder for women than men, right? Not just emotionally/culturally, but physically as well. Peeing in the wilderness for men is about the same as peeing at a urinal. But for women, it's a whole nother ballgame.

Most notably, the inevitable mosquito bites on your ass. No, really. The physical maneuvers required (hunch, straddle feet, angle, pee hard to focus stream so that you don't go all over your shoes) are one thing requiring practice, sure. But exposing an expanse of lily-white warm bare skin to the evening air while hovering just above damp forest ground? Gah. Asking for a polka-dotted itchy butt.
posted by desuetude at 10:52 AM on June 4, 2009


I have a pstyle. It's great since I fail at squatting. You just rinse it with soap and water when you're done. Super useful for camping and nasty portapotties.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:12 AM on June 4, 2009


(On a related note, there used to be a website, which I can't seem to find, on teaching women to pee standing up sans device--they called it the "learn to whistle method" because it involved moving about your, uh, lips. But I failed at that, too. I suck at peeing, apparently.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:16 AM on June 4, 2009


At long last, women can experience the joy of writing their names in the snow with their pee.

If you're going to use some rudimentary tool to assist this effort, why not go with a spray bottle? You can get a lot more control, resulting in greater artistic opportunities.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:19 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I find it shameful that people would consider purchasing fancy luxury items such as these, especially given the current economic climate when so many don't even have a pot to piss in.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:51 AM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


They were giving these out for free at the last Electric Picnic. Like all music festivals there were huge queues for the portaloos (especially for the female sections). The ShePee girls were working the queue for the ladies loos, handing out free samples and inviting us to try them out in the ShePee urinal area. Being fed up of queuing and full of cider I took them up on the offer.

The device itself worked just fine, no probs. But gosh, girls don't have any accepted urinal etiquette yet. People were chatty and nosy and stood super close. Perhaps if they become more popular we'll sort this one out.
posted by Tapioca at 12:02 PM on June 4, 2009


I find it shameful that people would consider purchasing fancy luxury items such as these, especially given the current economic climate when so many don't even have a pot to piss in.

I find it bizarre that you find consider a practical, reusable device that could potential be useful to up to 50% of the population, and that sells for under ten dollars, a "luxury item."

And of course, the whole point is that this eliminates the need to even have a pot to piss in.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:13 PM on June 4, 2009


I find it hilarious that you couldn't tell that was a joke.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:31 PM on June 4, 2009


Found the pee-standing-up-article: here (some NSFW names of anatomy within).

On the other hand, is that really the best solution for women? If not, then what would a better solution be?

I suspect that teaching girls to pee standing up from the get-go would be the best solution, since apparently it's something we're capable of, but not taught how to do. But these devices are a better solution than what me and a female friend (avid hikers) dreamed up in high school, which was a toilet seat with foldaway legs.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:32 PM on June 4, 2009


But gosh, girls don't have any accepted urinal etiquette yet. People were chatty and nosy and stood super close.

When I was a little boy at day camp I was strolling through a city park with couple of female teenage counselors. They were feeling bold and curious so they poked their heads into a mens' restroom, where there was a trough-style urinal.

"Oh my God! They all have to sit there right next to each other!!"
posted by exogenous at 12:38 PM on June 4, 2009


I find it hilarious that you couldn't tell that was a joke.

I take peeing very seriously!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:41 PM on June 4, 2009


Sorry, PhoBWan. Didn't mean to piss in your cornflakes.

But I'm a guy, so I totally *could* if I wanted to.
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:10 PM on June 4, 2009


so, this funnel - it vibrates?
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:49 PM on June 4, 2009


But gosh, girls don't have any accepted urinal etiquette yet. People were chatty and nosy and stood super close.

oh, but that is the accepted female urinal etiquette.

haven't you ever used the female toilets in a nightclub before? the usual procedure is for two girls to occupy a cubicle. girl 1 takes a pee while they both chat about omg did you see that cute guy dancing near me yada yada yada and then they swap and girl 2 pees whilst her friend stands by the door and it's all omg yeah but did you see that slut in the lowcut blue dress trying to move in on him yada yada yada and it continues like that while they wash their hands, fix their hair in the mirror & touch up their makeup for another 20 minutes or so before hitting the dancefloor again.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:56 PM on June 4, 2009


I'd find this very useful. I haven't tried to pee outdoors since I was a teenager, primarily because I always just ended up spraying everywhere and mostly down my leg. I asked other girls how in the world they could squat to pee without it running down their legs and there didn't seem to be a strategy, they could just do it. If I spread my legs wide, then the pee would just shoot to the side. Quite frustrating and I never knew what I was doing "wrong". So it would be cool to have a way to control the direction of the flow. Can this be put on an Amazon wishlist I wonder?
posted by Danila at 2:06 PM on June 4, 2009


oh, but that is the accepted female urinal etiquette.

Is not universal. Some of us really, really hate that shit.
posted by desuetude at 2:07 PM on June 4, 2009


is there anyway you can post your excreting status here, so we don't run the risk of making that mistake?
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:12 PM on June 4, 2009


Is not universal. Some of us really, really hate that shit.

sorry, i should qualify: goth girls, on the other hand, just give each other icy stares, before applying another layer of white theatrical makup.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:14 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've heard that cutting the bottom off of a cone cup works just as well and disposable to boot.
posted by P.o.B. at 2:15 PM on June 4, 2009


If I spread my legs wide, then the pee would just shoot to the side. Quite frustrating and I never knew what I was doing "wrong".

Since this is the source of much marital comedy and frustration, I'd be remiss to not point out that men don't always know which way we're aiming either...sure, it's a flexible tube, but it doesn't have an opening like a garden hose.
posted by kittyprecious at 2:29 PM on June 4, 2009


so, this funnel - it vibrates?

that's extra
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:40 PM on June 4, 2009


If I wanted to use a device to catch my urine while pissing, I'd use my Keeper Cup!
this is how I roll when there's no TP on the roll.
posted by rubah at 4:17 PM on June 4, 2009


Cool idea. I would be totally useful in NYC with yucky public toilets, that's for sure. Thanks for the post.
posted by nickyskye at 4:32 PM on June 4, 2009


*It would be totally useful, heh.
posted by nickyskye at 4:34 PM on June 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


For the more sedentary, there is the Bourdaloue. (Not, perhaps, what the good father would have wanted to be remembered for.)
posted by IndigoJones at 5:29 PM on June 4, 2009


Years ago I read somewhere on the internet (so it must be true) that there's some kind of "finger trick" that women can do to pee while standing up. My girlfriend dosen't know what this might be, nor do any of my female friends, though we're all intrigued.

Anyone know what this might have been referring to?
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:43 PM on June 4, 2009


let the pee dribble down their legs, then flip the bird at anybody who looks at them funny?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:00 PM on June 4, 2009


I mentioned the crab maneuvre further up threat - I didn't duck my head down there to look while the demonstrator was peeing, but it seemed to involve pinching the labia and urethra forward just a tad. More on wikiHow
posted by Jilder at 9:22 PM on June 4, 2009


I've tried the "finger trick" successfully once at an actual toilet...but it felt like I really lucked out and if I tried it again it wouldn't work. However, let me tell you, peeing standing up that one time was a hell of a rush. Men don't even understand how great it is, despite how much they talk about it. I'll never forget it.

For those who want to give it a shot, the main reason your pee doesn't come out in a stream is because as it exits the urethra it kind of diffuses over your labia and becomes more of a flow. If you use your fingers to spread your labia a little bit, thereby getting them out of the way, your pee just comes out the urethra straight into a man-style arc. The other trick is that you really have to go for the gusto, as it were - you need to exert a certain amount of muscular force on your bladder to get an arc rather than a dribble. Pee as if you were in a hurry.

It's really not that hard. Try it in the shower. I don't do it because I couldn't figure out a way to do it without taking my pants off (I had to stand with my legs pretty far apart), and the situations in which I would *like* to be able to pee standing up tend to be the very situations in which that is massively awkward, inconvenient, or infeasible.

One woman's impression of the finger trick: awesome, powerful thing to be able to do, but you have to have more massive stones (heh) than I to bust it out in a public toilet.
posted by crinklebat at 11:24 PM on June 4, 2009


I always love the obligatory "See my new found freedom" stock photos that go along with these sites.
posted by jeblis at 9:46 PM on June 7, 2009


« Older Grasshopper dead   |   Rebooting the US relationship to the Muslim world. Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments