highDEAS: Unique ideas or insights generated while one is under the influence of cannabis that wouldn't have existed otherwise (like the one for this link)
August 3, 2009 11:26 AM Subscribe
Dude, wouldn't it be totally cool if there was an opposite microwave to cool tasty canned beverages in seconds? What if underwear had pockets? They'd be called Underawesomes! And don't you think ketchup packets should be bigger? Oh man, speaking of munchies, what if you had see-through fudge? You could see right through it! Dang, it would be rad if there was smokable tape you could use to repair your busted spliff, huh? But I mean, dude, there should like really be a website where stoners could post and discuss the ideas they get when they're super high. I'd call it highDEAS.
I guess it's like a double-strength Halfbakery?
posted by xil at 11:35 AM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by xil at 11:35 AM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
Even though I've never so much as smoked a cigarette, I must be high all the time because these ideas are constantly coming to me. Most of them more than once. (Also, I've already invented the instant cold machine, which is a hand- or pedal-powered stirling cryocooler.)
posted by DU at 11:39 AM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by DU at 11:39 AM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
I sheepishly admit to having thought, too, of the opposite microwave and the smokable tape. I also thought (when I was under 21) that a false-bottom cooler would be an awesome idea. Oh yeah, and have you ever looked at your hands? I mean, really looked at them? I mean, wow. Oh, turn this up! Don't you wish there was some way to see through your door? Oh wait, I just remembered there is! Are those Little Debbie Snack Cakes? Hahahahahah! Little Debbie... I went out with Debbie in 11th grade! Oh I love this song. Dude!
posted by not_on_display at 11:39 AM on August 3, 2009 [23 favorites]
posted by not_on_display at 11:39 AM on August 3, 2009 [23 favorites]
Raise your kids to believe there is no such thing as a dishwasher.
They'll go to a friend's house and find out they're real! Instant enlightenment.
Tremendous.
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:41 AM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
They'll go to a friend's house and find out they're real! Instant enlightenment.
Tremendous.
posted by SpiffyRob at 11:41 AM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Raise your kids to believe there is no such thing as a dishwasher. They'll go to a friend's house and find out they're real! Instant enlightenment.
Meh. Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) had a father who invented spoons and question marks (or something along those lines). Denying the existence of real items only lasts so long. Taking credit for the creation of every-day items has the result of temporarily making kids be in awe of you, then later be angry that they were so easily duped.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:48 AM on August 3, 2009
Meh. Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) had a father who invented spoons and question marks (or something along those lines). Denying the existence of real items only lasts so long. Taking credit for the creation of every-day items has the result of temporarily making kids be in awe of you, then later be angry that they were so easily duped.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:48 AM on August 3, 2009
I recall blowing my mind many years ago. My friend had a cat. I asked him, does the cat ever get stoned? He said, "We'll never know. You see, every time the cat gets stoned, we're stoned, too. So, we're unable to make an objective judgment on whether or not the cat truly gets stoned."
I mean. Just. Blew. My. Addled. Mind.
"No way. We're stoned, too ... whoa ..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:51 AM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
I mean. Just. Blew. My. Addled. Mind.
"No way. We're stoned, too ... whoa ..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:51 AM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
I had a stoned idea of a mirror that flipped things up to down rather then left to right. Then I thought hard about it and my mind rejected itself like an invalid liver. That was the same night I realized that Entertainment Tonight was just "total bullshit". Ahh to be 16, the bar to discovery was set so low.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:55 AM on August 3, 2009
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:55 AM on August 3, 2009
Some of these are like Zen Koans.
robot sensing the odors with odor sensing technology. IT CAN CLEAN UP ANY FORM OF POO. any organism anything from you IT CAN CLEAN ANY FORM OF POO
posted by kaspen at 11:57 AM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
robot sensing the odors with odor sensing technology. IT CAN CLEAN UP ANY FORM OF POO. any organism anything from you IT CAN CLEAN ANY FORM OF POO
posted by kaspen at 11:57 AM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
I recall blowing my mind many years ago. My friend had a cat. I asked him, does the cat ever get stoned? He said, "We'll never know. You see, every time the cat gets stoned, we're stoned, too. So, we're unable to make an objective judgment on whether or not the cat truly gets stoned."
Hold on to your gravity bong, I'm about to blow your mind...
You could do a control in which one guy doesn't get stoned and shows up later to confirm if the kitty is blotto too.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:08 PM on August 3, 2009 [8 favorites]
Hold on to your gravity bong, I'm about to blow your mind...
You could do a control in which one guy doesn't get stoned and shows up later to confirm if the kitty is blotto too.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:08 PM on August 3, 2009 [8 favorites]
The ketchup thing is actually really a good idea. Never in my life have I ever needed just one packet, and I find opening them to be irritating. You always need at least two.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:14 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by middleclasstool at 12:14 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
"You could do a control in which one guy doesn't get stoned and shows up later to confirm if the kitty is blotto too."
maybe it's just me, but it seems like cats are stoned all the time.
posted by lester at 12:20 PM on August 3, 2009
maybe it's just me, but it seems like cats are stoned all the time.
posted by lester at 12:20 PM on August 3, 2009
I also like how Sleeve of Ritz isn't even an idea. You have to be really stoned for something that's not even an idea to strike you as a good idea.
posted by creasy boy at 12:22 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by creasy boy at 12:22 PM on August 3, 2009
Three legged tables never wobble. Dave? Dave's not here...
posted by xjudson at 12:28 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by xjudson at 12:28 PM on August 3, 2009
The ketchup idea just occured to me on Saturday night when I got takeout wings and fries. They serve huge potato wedges and a single ketchup packet is only good for about two wedges worth of condimentification.
As for smokeable tape to repair spliffs, we have that, it's called the end of another rolling paper.
posted by autodidact at 12:29 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
As for smokeable tape to repair spliffs, we have that, it's called the end of another rolling paper.
posted by autodidact at 12:29 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
The highlighter-phonics/dictionary pen.
That's a winner.
posted by tybeet at 12:41 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
That's a winner.
posted by tybeet at 12:41 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Maybe one could take liquid nitrogen and blow air over it on the thing you want to cool down. That would probably work.
Honestly, I would run out and buy a six pack of Light Pagers this minute. No idea where my remote's at right now.
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:43 PM on August 3, 2009
Honestly, I would run out and buy a six pack of Light Pagers this minute. No idea where my remote's at right now.
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:43 PM on August 3, 2009
Ah the opposite microwave. When, when, when will they get around to making and marketing that sucker? Is there anyone who hasn't wanted one? Hasn't visualized just how great it would be on a hot summer day to plunk something into the opposite microwave? I want one. And a jetpack and a flying car, too, while I'm at it, but not a video phone because frankly, those turned out to be kind of stupid.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:43 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:43 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
I want a loooong video of satellite graphics showing the weather. I'd love to be able to see a month or a year of the weather radar. And I'm not even stoned.
Opposite microwave - put cold things on a very conductive object. I put them on a cast iron pan; the conductivity carries th ecold away. Actually, it carries warmth in, but that's not the, nevermind, no sense talking about this to stoned people.
posted by theora55 at 12:47 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Opposite microwave - put cold things on a very conductive object. I put them on a cast iron pan; the conductivity carries th ecold away. Actually, it carries warmth in, but that's not the, nevermind, no sense talking about this to stoned people.
posted by theora55 at 12:47 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think the opposite microwave would, in fact, protect the food you place inside it while bathing everything else in the kitchen with massive amounts of high energy microwave radiation (just like in that Superman movie). To the person outside the microwave, the food inside would feel relatively cooler. Genius!
posted by Auden at 12:54 PM on August 3, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by Auden at 12:54 PM on August 3, 2009 [11 favorites]
I swear I saw an article on the cover of some electronics hobbyist magazine about 15 years ago with instructions for building your own "macrowave" to quickly cool foods.
posted by designbot at 12:55 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by designbot at 12:55 PM on August 3, 2009
I should add my idea: Glow in the Dark tattoos.
posted by 445supermag at 12:59 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by 445supermag at 12:59 PM on August 3, 2009
I've thought about trying to make tiny chilling units ... rolling a Peltier cooler around a soda can in a helical pattern guaranteeing that no one spot would get too cold for too long, creating BuzzKill Ice. Maintaining a solid contact seemed like a significant problem.
It is somewhat impractical to unload a fire extinguisher every time I want to chill off a can.
Then there's dry ice. You can only use dry ice to cool a liquid if you're okay with puffing away the fog before you sip. Otherwise, lowering your face into it triggers this urge to choke and cough. You would think this reflex would be triggered by liquid nitrogen, but it doesn't seem to be as problematic. Maybe it isn't "lack of oxygen" so much as "presence of large amounts of carbon dioxide." That's worth investigation.
There's nothing that quite spoils the "we're trying really hard to be goth here" of trying to drink absinthe in a graveyard on a summer solstice midnight and cahck!ing away the fog.
posted by adipocere at 12:59 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
It is somewhat impractical to unload a fire extinguisher every time I want to chill off a can.
Then there's dry ice. You can only use dry ice to cool a liquid if you're okay with puffing away the fog before you sip. Otherwise, lowering your face into it triggers this urge to choke and cough. You would think this reflex would be triggered by liquid nitrogen, but it doesn't seem to be as problematic. Maybe it isn't "lack of oxygen" so much as "presence of large amounts of carbon dioxide." That's worth investigation.
There's nothing that quite spoils the "we're trying really hard to be goth here" of trying to drink absinthe in a graveyard on a summer solstice midnight and cahck!ing away the fog.
posted by adipocere at 12:59 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
maybe it's just me, but it seems like cats are stoned all the time.
It's not just you, a cat's consciousness is clearly a little skewed, but I've always thought they were tripping.
posted by LooseFilter at 1:04 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's not just you, a cat's consciousness is clearly a little skewed, but I've always thought they were tripping.
posted by LooseFilter at 1:04 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's like their channeling Michael Keaton in Night Shift.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:09 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:09 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
You could do a control in which one guy doesn't get stoned ...
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND???
What the hell is wrong with you?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:41 PM on August 3, 2009 [8 favorites]
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND???
What the hell is wrong with you?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:41 PM on August 3, 2009 [8 favorites]
Why does the Bee Fairy costume include headphones?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:50 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:50 PM on August 3, 2009
The halfbakery was already mentioned but here is a specific idea about an appliance for cooling down food and another for cooling a specific drink.
Out in the real world, there is the PolySciences Anti Griddle.
posted by bz at 1:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Out in the real world, there is the PolySciences Anti Griddle.
posted by bz at 1:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
This reminds me of that time when my friends and I came to the revelation that every single person in the world could be fit into one of four categories:
1. Pessimistic indecisive
2. Optimistic indecisive
3. Pessimistic decisive
4. Optimistic decisive
We discussed this for hours, fleshing out every single little detail and stumbling upon one profound eureka moment after another. We even wrote this down in a Word file because "this shit is world-changing, for real, you realize that right?" but I don't know what happened to it, or we forgot to save, or something. Where were you, highDEAS?
posted by naju at 1:54 PM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
1. Pessimistic indecisive
2. Optimistic indecisive
3. Pessimistic decisive
4. Optimistic decisive
We discussed this for hours, fleshing out every single little detail and stumbling upon one profound eureka moment after another. We even wrote this down in a Word file because "this shit is world-changing, for real, you realize that right?" but I don't know what happened to it, or we forgot to save, or something. Where were you, highDEAS?
posted by naju at 1:54 PM on August 3, 2009 [4 favorites]
People, don't you see that you are just giving Carrot Top more material to work with?
posted by mark242 at 1:55 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by mark242 at 1:55 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
This page is actually pretty hilarious, and the combination of it and this thread are making me miss smoking weed for the first time since I quit ... I'm pretty sure that, if I caved in, I would deserve some sorta medal for Stupidest Relapse Trigger Ever.
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:59 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by EatTheWeek at 1:59 PM on August 3, 2009
I came up with that "opposite microwave" idea more than 20 years ago. I never made it because nobody's satisfactorily explained how the science would work. I WANT MY ROYALTY CHECK.
posted by grubi at 2:11 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by grubi at 2:11 PM on August 3, 2009
Blast chillers and cool pads aren't the same, as they are already on at all times. We don't keep the microwave running at all times; it's only on when we want it on.
HENCE my brilliant idea would be the ON-DEMAND cooling and freezing (which is waaaaaaaay cheaper on the utility bill, sirs and madams).
posted by grubi at 2:14 PM on August 3, 2009
HENCE my brilliant idea would be the ON-DEMAND cooling and freezing (which is waaaaaaaay cheaper on the utility bill, sirs and madams).
posted by grubi at 2:14 PM on August 3, 2009
All of the cold machines people are proposing are the equivalents of a conventional oven, not a microwave.
posted by XMLicious at 2:15 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by XMLicious at 2:15 PM on August 3, 2009
I swear I went to college with the people who created this website...
posted by mnb64 at 2:18 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by mnb64 at 2:18 PM on August 3, 2009
Another good way to achieve instant chill is via the sudden release of a compressed gas. Dip the cartridge in the drink, pop the gasket and BLAMMO, cold drink.
An HD Channel showing clips of various things in Super slow motion.
posted by DU at 2:26 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
An HD Channel showing clips of various things in Super slow motion.
posted by DU at 2:26 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Raise your kids to believe there is no such thing as a dishwasher. They'll go to a friend's house and find out they're real! Instant enlightenment.
That's nothing. My boyfriend and I plan to convince our future children that Wal-Mart is a super-classy store. We will only speak of it in hushed, awed tones:
"Honey, the kids need school supplies. Should we go to Wal-Mart?"
"No, my cocktail dress is at the cleaners'. We have to go to Target instead."
We hope to completely convince our kids of that so when they're at that first sleepover and the other kid's parents have to make a quick run to Wal-Mart to stock up on movies and popcorn our kid sits in the backseat in terror and says "BUT I'M NOT IN MY TUXEDO!"
posted by lilac girl at 2:28 PM on August 3, 2009 [19 favorites]
That's nothing. My boyfriend and I plan to convince our future children that Wal-Mart is a super-classy store. We will only speak of it in hushed, awed tones:
"Honey, the kids need school supplies. Should we go to Wal-Mart?"
"No, my cocktail dress is at the cleaners'. We have to go to Target instead."
We hope to completely convince our kids of that so when they're at that first sleepover and the other kid's parents have to make a quick run to Wal-Mart to stock up on movies and popcorn our kid sits in the backseat in terror and says "BUT I'M NOT IN MY TUXEDO!"
posted by lilac girl at 2:28 PM on August 3, 2009 [19 favorites]
Tightly nested rice paper sleeves which fit into the stem of your bong. When clogged, remove with tweezers, ball up & set aside. Voilà. Clean stem, and a little resin ball to smoke when you're out of weed.
I'm a fucking genius.
PATENT PENDING
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:43 PM on August 3, 2009 [3 favorites]
I'm a fucking genius.
PATENT PENDING
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:43 PM on August 3, 2009 [3 favorites]
IIRC, most of my ideas when I was high revolved around food.
One of my friends has a different sort of cautionary tale concerning high ideas. He had been indulging heavily one day, as was his wont because he's a big furry hippie. He was thinking about roller skates. He thought, "Why aren't they more like ice skates? Wouldn't that make them more aerodynamic?" He even made some sketches. He later abandoned the idea, because, pfft, he was super high.
Yeah, rollerblades piss him off a lot.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:45 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
One of my friends has a different sort of cautionary tale concerning high ideas. He had been indulging heavily one day, as was his wont because he's a big furry hippie. He was thinking about roller skates. He thought, "Why aren't they more like ice skates? Wouldn't that make them more aerodynamic?" He even made some sketches. He later abandoned the idea, because, pfft, he was super high.
Yeah, rollerblades piss him off a lot.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:45 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
I had an idea for a book (not high at the time, sadly) called The Fucking Bible that culled all the sex-related episodes from the Bible into one condensed volume.
posted by carsonb at 2:50 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 2:50 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
In college, my lab had a machine for freezing rat brains so we could slice them very thin, and it worked remarkably quickly. I think it functioned by exploiting the temperature differentials between the hot and cold tap water; there were definitely lines running from the tap to the freezing surface (a plate of conductive metal about 5cm square), and I don't think it involved electricity. I can't tell you exactly how it worked because I was so bad at thermodynamics I had to take it twice and barely passed the second time, and because I was stoned. Please remember that correlation does not imply causation.
posted by Jon_Evil at 2:51 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by Jon_Evil at 2:51 PM on August 3, 2009
Hmm. That actually might be a decent idea, BOP, though there are still some problems to be solved. Anybody know how to write a grant proposal?
posted by box at 3:05 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by box at 3:05 PM on August 3, 2009
Oh, my god. If I didn't know better I would think an old friend of mine created this site... he used to keep lists in his Palm Pilot of the awesome things people said while stoned, or the amazing inventions we'd come up with.
The best one ever was the cat pump -- we were driving by a construction equipment rental place whose readerboard was advertising a special. CAT PUMP RENTALS, it shouted. HALF OFF. We were like, "...cat pumps? Like, little high heels for cats? Or a device that pumps out cats?"
After much discussion we decided it had to be a machine that dispensed cats. You know how you're sitting around at home during winter and you get cold, but you don't want to turn on the heat? Normally you would just put on a sweater, but with a cat pump installed in your home, all you would need to do is march over to the cat pump controls, twist the dials and knobs, hit the button, and *flompf* out comes a cat. (Out from where? I don't know, R&D wasn't my responsibility.) Depending on where you set the dials and knobs, the cat would last anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour, and would be the approximate size and shape of a bathmat. Drape the cat over yourself, get warm, and then the cat would dissipate. (I don't think we ever figured out what the cats would be made of, either. Dark matter, maybe? Like I said, R&D wasn't my responsibility.)
You may be thinking, "Lord almighty what a bunch of idiot stoners," but I prefer to think we were revolutionary thinkers, ahead of our time. Just you wait. Cat pumps, people.
posted by palomar at 3:39 PM on August 3, 2009 [19 favorites]
The best one ever was the cat pump -- we were driving by a construction equipment rental place whose readerboard was advertising a special. CAT PUMP RENTALS, it shouted. HALF OFF. We were like, "...cat pumps? Like, little high heels for cats? Or a device that pumps out cats?"
After much discussion we decided it had to be a machine that dispensed cats. You know how you're sitting around at home during winter and you get cold, but you don't want to turn on the heat? Normally you would just put on a sweater, but with a cat pump installed in your home, all you would need to do is march over to the cat pump controls, twist the dials and knobs, hit the button, and *flompf* out comes a cat. (Out from where? I don't know, R&D wasn't my responsibility.) Depending on where you set the dials and knobs, the cat would last anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour, and would be the approximate size and shape of a bathmat. Drape the cat over yourself, get warm, and then the cat would dissipate. (I don't think we ever figured out what the cats would be made of, either. Dark matter, maybe? Like I said, R&D wasn't my responsibility.)
You may be thinking, "Lord almighty what a bunch of idiot stoners," but I prefer to think we were revolutionary thinkers, ahead of our time. Just you wait. Cat pumps, people.
posted by palomar at 3:39 PM on August 3, 2009 [19 favorites]
carsonb: I had an idea for a book (not high at the time, sadly) called The Fucking Bible that culled all the sex-related episodes from the Bible into one condensed volume.
You could also call it "Biblical Knowledge."
Also? If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
You could also call it "Biblical Knowledge."
Also? If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
The following additionally requires 1 jar of Nutella and budder for extra goodness.
Chocolate Coated Frosted Flakes and Crunchy Peanut Butter
A Large Bowl
Spoon
1 Box of Frosted Flakes
1 bag bittersweet chocolate chips
1 Jar of peanut butter (organic)
pour chocolate chips into bowl and microwave for 35secs. If not melted, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. (don't put it all in for two minutes or it'll burn)
mix in frosted flakes. The amount of cereal used is entirely dependent on how big the bag of chocolate chips was. the chocolate should completely coat everything, but there should be no molten chocolate left (it should be really hard to stir at this point).
Using a spoon, dip out just enough peanut butter so that when you scoop out the cereal it sticks.
Consume.
posted by FusiveResonance at 3:56 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
Chocolate Coated Frosted Flakes and Crunchy Peanut Butter
A Large Bowl
Spoon
1 Box of Frosted Flakes
1 bag bittersweet chocolate chips
1 Jar of peanut butter (organic)
pour chocolate chips into bowl and microwave for 35secs. If not melted, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. (don't put it all in for two minutes or it'll burn)
mix in frosted flakes. The amount of cereal used is entirely dependent on how big the bag of chocolate chips was. the chocolate should completely coat everything, but there should be no molten chocolate left (it should be really hard to stir at this point).
Using a spoon, dip out just enough peanut butter so that when you scoop out the cereal it sticks.
Consume.
posted by FusiveResonance at 3:56 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
Beverages, rock salt, ice, water, washing machine that doesn't drain? *
*(not high, just sleep-deprived...)
posted by aquafortis at 3:57 PM on August 3, 2009
*(not high, just sleep-deprived...)
posted by aquafortis at 3:57 PM on August 3, 2009
I had an idea for a book (not high at the time, sadly) called The Fucking Bible that culled all the sex-related episodes from the Bible into one condensed volume. I had the same idea years ago, except it'd be a film and called Holy Fuck!
posted by Jon_Evil at 4:06 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by Jon_Evil at 4:06 PM on August 3, 2009
Pronoiac: You could also call it "Biblical Knowledge."
That's the tagline. Get to know the Bible...Biblically!
posted by carsonb at 4:07 PM on August 3, 2009 [3 favorites]
That's the tagline. Get to know the Bible...Biblically!
posted by carsonb at 4:07 PM on August 3, 2009 [3 favorites]
sorry. that should've been formatted as such:
I had an idea for a book (not high at the time, sadly) called The Fucking Bible that culled all the sex-related episodes from the Bible into one condensed volume.
I had the same idea years ago, except it'd be a film and called Holy Fuck!
posted by Jon_Evil at 4:08 PM on August 3, 2009
I had an idea for a book (not high at the time, sadly) called The Fucking Bible that culled all the sex-related episodes from the Bible into one condensed volume.
I had the same idea years ago, except it'd be a film and called Holy Fuck!
posted by Jon_Evil at 4:08 PM on August 3, 2009
I should add my idea: Glow in the Dark tattoos.
http://www.tattooartists.org/Gal3975_UV_Blacklight_Ink.asp
posted by billyfleetwood at 4:38 PM on August 3, 2009
Why don't the people who smoke meth have a website full of their ideas? Cause they're too busy getting shit done, man! That's why!
posted by orme at 4:40 PM on August 3, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by orme at 4:40 PM on August 3, 2009 [7 favorites]
Well, if nothing else this site managed to make me laugh like an idiot for about half an hour having had a small bong so thumbs up here.
posted by i_cola at 4:56 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by i_cola at 4:56 PM on August 3, 2009
"You may be thinking, "Lord almighty what a bunch of idiot stoners," but I prefer to think we were revolutionary thinkers, ahead of our time. Just you wait. Cat pumps, people."
You don't pump your cat?
I use a quality, industrial, positive displacement, custom engineered, ceramic plunger/ triplex piston to pump my cat. Reverse osmosis filters leaves my cat clean and looking good and the effleurage with 5 grams of pressure to a pound in the strokes, especially in a centripetal effleurage, leaves my cat feeling good.
...what.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:08 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
You don't pump your cat?
I use a quality, industrial, positive displacement, custom engineered, ceramic plunger/ triplex piston to pump my cat. Reverse osmosis filters leaves my cat clean and looking good and the effleurage with 5 grams of pressure to a pound in the strokes, especially in a centripetal effleurage, leaves my cat feeling good.
...what.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:08 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
There was indeed a "macrowave" article. It was an April Fool's joke. I remember it quite distinctly as one of my dormmates was all set to go build one till we pointed out that it was the April issue (of whatever magazine it was, I don't recall).
The kid was an Eagle Scout too. I'm guessing he had a sarcasm deficiency.
posted by chairface at 5:12 PM on August 3, 2009
The kid was an Eagle Scout too. I'm guessing he had a sarcasm deficiency.
posted by chairface at 5:12 PM on August 3, 2009
a old bartender's trick: Put the item that needs to be chilled (wine, beer, i even do it for fruits that I like cold) in a small bucket and fill with ice to the top. Then fill with water and pour some salt in the icewater. stir to dissolve the salt 5-8 mins later, ice cold!!
Try to remember to put the item that needs to be chilled in first, then the ice. Its hard to push bottles in something full of ice without the chance of breaking the glass, only needed to happen to me once in front of my guests for me to learn that.
posted by elemenopee at 5:14 PM on August 3, 2009
Try to remember to put the item that needs to be chilled in first, then the ice. Its hard to push bottles in something full of ice without the chance of breaking the glass, only needed to happen to me once in front of my guests for me to learn that.
posted by elemenopee at 5:14 PM on August 3, 2009
> maybe it's just me, but it seems like cats are stoned all the time.
My cats seem to get a little bit lazier and apathetic whenever I get high, so I always wonder if they're getting a little stoned off the second-hand smoke...but they're already so lazy and apathetic that we're talking very, very small degrees. However, this one time when I smoked up and watched Beastmaster, one of our cats jumped up onto a footstool and was absolutely transfixed by the film. I will go to my grave choosing to believe that she was tripping balls that night.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:22 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
My cats seem to get a little bit lazier and apathetic whenever I get high, so I always wonder if they're getting a little stoned off the second-hand smoke...but they're already so lazy and apathetic that we're talking very, very small degrees. However, this one time when I smoked up and watched Beastmaster, one of our cats jumped up onto a footstool and was absolutely transfixed by the film. I will go to my grave choosing to believe that she was tripping balls that night.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:22 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
adipocere: yeah, that is exactly it, there is no "lack of oxygen" reflex, but there is a "presence of carbon dioxide" reflex. That is why people can suffocate on carbon monoxide or nitrogen without even noticing that they are suffocating, they just get kind of tired then fall asleep and don't wake up.
posted by idiopath at 6:27 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by idiopath at 6:27 PM on August 3, 2009
Stoners are so stupid. Everyone knows the reverse-microwave violates laws of physics and can never work. However, the solution is simplicity itself. Make a much larger microwave that a human can fit inside. Get in, turn it on (there's a switch inside too, dummy) and warm yourself up. Get out and drink the room temperature suds which will taste cool by comparison.
posted by digsrus at 6:49 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by digsrus at 6:49 PM on August 3, 2009
If cat pumps are wrong, I don't want to be right. If that's not fucking genius, I don't know what is.
posted by Maisie at 7:34 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by Maisie at 7:34 PM on August 3, 2009
Cat pumps are (by far) the most efficient way for animal control authorities to empty out the overrun houses of those crazy old cat ladies.
posted by Auden at 7:47 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by Auden at 7:47 PM on August 3, 2009
Instant cooling can exists. I could swear I actually heard of a product using this technology somewhere.
Also instantly cool your beer.
posted by eye of newt at 7:53 PM on August 3, 2009
Also instantly cool your beer.
posted by eye of newt at 7:53 PM on August 3, 2009
Yeah, rollerblades piss him off a lot.
I wasn't high at the time, but 15 or twenty years ago I had the idea for a fantastic board game, with various pieces that move similarly to the ones in chess, except that they would have little mirrors stuck on them at various angles. Two corners of the board would have lasers in them, and the other two would have light sensors, and you would win by bouncing your laser into the sensor in the opposite corner. I even considered making a prototype, but not knowing anything about electronics and not having a source for little mirrors, the idea got abandoned.
...son of a bitch.
posted by rifflesby at 8:02 PM on August 3, 2009
I wasn't high at the time, but 15 or twenty years ago I had the idea for a fantastic board game, with various pieces that move similarly to the ones in chess, except that they would have little mirrors stuck on them at various angles. Two corners of the board would have lasers in them, and the other two would have light sensors, and you would win by bouncing your laser into the sensor in the opposite corner. I even considered making a prototype, but not knowing anything about electronics and not having a source for little mirrors, the idea got abandoned.
...son of a bitch.
posted by rifflesby at 8:02 PM on August 3, 2009
A Poo Weighing Toilet with high score feature.
posted by autodidact at 8:42 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by autodidact at 8:42 PM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]
Oops--messed up the link. Instantly cool your beer.
posted by eye of newt at 9:52 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by eye of newt at 9:52 PM on August 3, 2009
one more time.....this isn't even worth it........Instantly cool your beer.
posted by eye of newt at 9:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by eye of newt at 9:53 PM on August 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Fucking Slugworth...
posted by queensissy at 10:38 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by queensissy at 10:38 PM on August 3, 2009
This site goes to prove the theory that, when stoned, people turn into Karl Pilkington
posted by quarsan at 11:26 PM on August 3, 2009
posted by quarsan at 11:26 PM on August 3, 2009
Highsterical.
posted by dejah420 at 10:49 PM on August 3 [+] [!]
Eponhyserical
posted by Avelwood at 1:28 AM on August 4, 2009
posted by dejah420 at 10:49 PM on August 3 [+] [!]
Eponhyserical
posted by Avelwood at 1:28 AM on August 4, 2009
High-sterical... hysterical...
Errr... It's late here.
posted by Avelwood at 1:29 AM on August 4, 2009
Errr... It's late here.
posted by Avelwood at 1:29 AM on August 4, 2009
Person tattoo
a full body tattoo on your backside, so when you were naked ( you would need to be bald too), it would like like a person walking backwards, or vise versa
fucking genius.
posted by gottabefunky at 1:48 AM on August 4, 2009
a full body tattoo on your backside, so when you were naked ( you would need to be bald too), it would like like a person walking backwards, or vise versa
fucking genius.
posted by gottabefunky at 1:48 AM on August 4, 2009
1. Build your trash-cans/waste-bins into the floor in the corner of the room. Then just throw everything on the floor and sweep into the corner.
2. Screw cabinets. I want two dishwashers. One is for the clean and the other is for dirty.
/puff puff & passes
posted by YoBananaBoy at 5:59 AM on August 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
2. Screw cabinets. I want two dishwashers. One is for the clean and the other is for dirty.
/puff puff & passes
posted by YoBananaBoy at 5:59 AM on August 4, 2009 [3 favorites]
Once when I was high I had an idea for engineering organic vine-cables, with high conductivity and natural insulation, to replace power and telephone cables. They'd be self-healing if damaged (except for if cut in two, in which case they'd at least need a human to put the ends back together), eco-friendly, more attractive than wire-strung poles, happy to be out in the elements. I thought it was a great idea, until I remembered kudzu. I did not welcome the kudzu overlords.
posted by notashroom at 8:28 AM on August 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by notashroom at 8:28 AM on August 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
Cat pumps, people.
Reminds me of my idea for a sandwich faucet.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:27 PM on August 4, 2009
Reminds me of my idea for a sandwich faucet.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:27 PM on August 4, 2009
We were like, "...cat pumps? Like, little high heels for cats?
I believe this are called kitten heels.
posted by pokeydonut at 5:24 PM on August 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
I believe this are called kitten heels.
posted by pokeydonut at 5:24 PM on August 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
when I looked at this page without being signed in, the Google ad was for Passages Rehab Center in Malibu. Kind of fancy!
posted by salem at 11:19 AM on August 5, 2009
posted by salem at 11:19 AM on August 5, 2009
tybee: "The highlighter-phonics/dictionary pen.
That's a winner."
Maybe I'm missing the joke, but this actually exists. It'll set you back quite a bit, though -- the cheapest deal is $170 after a $30 rebate (+free shipping) over at bhphotovideo.com.
Incidentally, I learned about this product via an in-flight copy of SkyMall (previously) which judging by their catalog I guess is keeping a very close eye on highDEAS...
posted by Rhaomi at 4:48 PM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
That's a winner."
Maybe I'm missing the joke, but this actually exists. It'll set you back quite a bit, though -- the cheapest deal is $170 after a $30 rebate (+free shipping) over at bhphotovideo.com.
Incidentally, I learned about this product via an in-flight copy of SkyMall (previously) which judging by their catalog I guess is keeping a very close eye on highDEAS...
posted by Rhaomi at 4:48 PM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
While Hammacher Schlemmer, by contrast, has kind of a rich-cokehead vibe.
posted by box at 7:42 PM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 7:42 PM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I worry about the prairie dogs. What if their little eardrums get burst by the pressure differential? But, it's still better than being poisoned to death or something of that sort, I suppose.
posted by XMLicious at 9:01 PM on August 6, 2009
posted by XMLicious at 9:01 PM on August 6, 2009
Rhaomi: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but this actually exists.
That's pretty neat, but $200? I guess it's the whole supply & demand thing keeping costs up, but if someone would just make a reader/dictionary edition of the Fly Fusion Pentop they could sell it for like $30 and make a killing.
posted by tybeet at 8:57 AM on August 7, 2009
That's pretty neat, but $200? I guess it's the whole supply & demand thing keeping costs up, but if someone would just make a reader/dictionary edition of the Fly Fusion Pentop they could sell it for like $30 and make a killing.
posted by tybeet at 8:57 AM on August 7, 2009
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posted by JibberJabber at 11:30 AM on August 3, 2009 [2 favorites]