A few battles with foods that were calling me like sirens called Odysseus
August 7, 2009 8:08 PM Subscribe
"Lunch is really nice again, not mentioning a few battles with foods that were calling me like sirens called Odysseus. I had some salad some pasta and some fish and we had a nice chat with some Russian girls at an “All-Russian” table. Catching up on all the gossip, laughing, and in general making fun of people! By the way I forgot to mention that this is a men’s and women’s tournament so if you lose early and you are lacking confidence there is a good chance to challenge one of the girls to a match." Russian-American tennis player Dmitry Tursunov blogged his experiences at a 2006 tourney in Estoril, Portugal with hilarious results. [For best results, read from the bottom of the page up!]
Read about his adventures with Marat Safin: "The match was a bit awkward the first few games because this is our first time playing together and Marat doesn’t really understand the concept 'my side/your side.' He tends to think that his forehand is much better than my backhand so I had to convince him otherwise. Thanks to me and my ability to convey logic to the two-meter embodiment of a female’s dream, we won the first set 6-3."
On intimidation: "Right before the match I tried to do some sprints and some jumps to get the blood going, then I stared into the mirror and said, 'You talking to me?!' When you are playing someone who is 15, it’s always good to scare the life out of them the moment you get out on the court! IT HAPPENED!!! They told me, 'Just keep pluggin’ alone and you will win a match!!!' and it happened! Of course the kid was 15 but c’mon! I’m blond!"
On tennis players online: "The guy is like Neo in Matrix. He has no idea what he is writing anymore or who he is writing to. He just puts 'lol' and moves on to the next window. The girl is probably telling him that her kittens died and he just says, 'lol.' At the same time he is listening to Bow Wow and tries to sing along. The funniest stuff on Earth. A French dude is trying to rap! Impossible to watch without a condescending smile!"
And more!
Read about his adventures with Marat Safin: "The match was a bit awkward the first few games because this is our first time playing together and Marat doesn’t really understand the concept 'my side/your side.' He tends to think that his forehand is much better than my backhand so I had to convince him otherwise. Thanks to me and my ability to convey logic to the two-meter embodiment of a female’s dream, we won the first set 6-3."
On intimidation: "Right before the match I tried to do some sprints and some jumps to get the blood going, then I stared into the mirror and said, 'You talking to me?!' When you are playing someone who is 15, it’s always good to scare the life out of them the moment you get out on the court! IT HAPPENED!!! They told me, 'Just keep pluggin’ alone and you will win a match!!!' and it happened! Of course the kid was 15 but c’mon! I’m blond!"
On tennis players online: "The guy is like Neo in Matrix. He has no idea what he is writing anymore or who he is writing to. He just puts 'lol' and moves on to the next window. The girl is probably telling him that her kittens died and he just says, 'lol.' At the same time he is listening to Bow Wow and tries to sing along. The funniest stuff on Earth. A French dude is trying to rap! Impossible to watch without a condescending smile!"
And more!
Never mind hilarious results, this guy is a scream all by himself -- I'm still reading the first day's entry, with the giggles already beginning over a pound of clay in his shorts ...
posted by nonspecialist at 2:34 AM on August 8, 2009
posted by nonspecialist at 2:34 AM on August 8, 2009
That was pretty entertaining. I love these backstage passes.
posted by srboisvert at 3:34 AM on August 8, 2009
posted by srboisvert at 3:34 AM on August 8, 2009
I had some time to kill so I went to the player’s lounge and destroyed Elena Vesnina in pool! Well I won 1 out of 4 games but that’s because of the stupid rule where you can’t sink the 8-ball until you clear all the other ones… Whatever!
THANK YOU.
posted by mdonley at 4:22 AM on August 8, 2009
THANK YOU.
posted by mdonley at 4:22 AM on August 8, 2009
That was great! My favorite part is his description of the roundabouts.
posted by estherbester at 9:37 AM on August 8, 2009
posted by estherbester at 9:37 AM on August 8, 2009
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posted by wemayfreeze at 1:39 AM on August 8, 2009