The right tool for the job
October 13, 2009 12:39 PM Subscribe
It's time to kick back and relax with a tasty bottle of $BEVERAGE - often but not always beer. But how to open it? And what tool to use?
Klein Tools has a bottle opener that fits with the rest of your tools in your tool pouch. You can have one that's in a functional catspaw nail puller, or one in a sadly nonfunctional hammer. You can have one built into bike tools, or made from bicycle chain.
There's a patent for a glove with a bottle opener, or you could wear your opener in the heel of your shoes, carry it in a lighter, or risk looking like you've had some kind of accident while using any of several designs for belt buckle bottle openers.
For lounging in front of the television, there's one in a universal remote or built into a fork
And for everywhere, you can have one that's built into an ipod shuffle case.
And while you could use the self-described world's best, perhaps the thing to do is simply to EXTERMINATE THE BOTTLE CAP
previously and previously
Klein Tools has a bottle opener that fits with the rest of your tools in your tool pouch. You can have one that's in a functional catspaw nail puller, or one in a sadly nonfunctional hammer. You can have one built into bike tools, or made from bicycle chain.
There's a patent for a glove with a bottle opener, or you could wear your opener in the heel of your shoes, carry it in a lighter, or risk looking like you've had some kind of accident while using any of several designs for belt buckle bottle openers.
For lounging in front of the television, there's one in a universal remote or built into a fork
And for everywhere, you can have one that's built into an ipod shuffle case.
And while you could use the self-described world's best, perhaps the thing to do is simply to EXTERMINATE THE BOTTLE CAP
previously and previously
Carta Blanca beers used to have a bottle opener built into the bottom ring of the bottle, thereby ensuring that you'd have a beer with a friend. Or have two beers. You know, either way.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:45 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:45 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't really care about bottle openers, but I happen to have two that I really like. One is a Fonotone Records opener, that came in the Fonotone Boxset from Dust-to-Digital Records. The other is integrated into the finisher's medal for the Ragnar Relay that I did. Both are pretty cool.
posted by OmieWise at 12:52 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by OmieWise at 12:52 PM on October 13, 2009
ThinkGeek also sells a ring that does the job, although for my money the oldskool churchkey (or even olderskool churchkey, although I hardly see these around any more, anywhere) still retains its charm. All necessary, though, because the intersection of the sets "beers worth drinking" and "beers with screw-off tops" is small indeed.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:52 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:52 PM on October 13, 2009
jinx, Avelwood!
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:53 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:53 PM on October 13, 2009
Someone actually invented a Bottle Cap Catcher?
They've been around awhile. I picked up an old wall-mounted opener (1960's era, I think) that has its own built-in catcher. Hangs proudly next to my fridge.
For shame! No bottle opener ring?
Pff. All rings are bottle openers. I use my wedding ring in a pinch. It makes my wife really happy.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:53 PM on October 13, 2009
They've been around awhile. I picked up an old wall-mounted opener (1960's era, I think) that has its own built-in catcher. Hangs proudly next to my fridge.
For shame! No bottle opener ring?
Pff. All rings are bottle openers. I use my wedding ring in a pinch. It makes my wife really happy.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:53 PM on October 13, 2009
I was thrilled to discover that my Chrome bag has a seat-belt buckle release that doubles as a bottle opener.
posted by zoinks at 12:54 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by zoinks at 12:54 PM on October 13, 2009
If you want to impress your date on that wilderness picnic, open the wine with your shoelace:
1. Push the cork into the bottle with a stick.
2. Pour a small amount of wine into a cup or glass.
3. Tie a figure 8 knot in one end of your shoelace.
4. Work the knot into the bottle until it is below the cork.
5. Re-float the cork using the wine in the cup.
6. Pull up on the shoelace slowly and firmly.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:56 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
1. Push the cork into the bottle with a stick.
2. Pour a small amount of wine into a cup or glass.
3. Tie a figure 8 knot in one end of your shoelace.
4. Work the knot into the bottle until it is below the cork.
5. Re-float the cork using the wine in the cup.
6. Pull up on the shoelace slowly and firmly.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:56 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
There used to be cash incentives for people to share interesting tidbits from the web? Weird.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:56 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by filthy light thief at 12:56 PM on October 13, 2009
What, no explosives? Someone get asavage on the horn, pronto!
posted by tommasz at 12:58 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by tommasz at 12:58 PM on October 13, 2009
Aw, you don't need a bottle opener built into a lighter- just use the lighter, and impress your friends with your prowess and your blithe usage of the word fulcrum when you explain what you just did.
posted by oneirodynia at 12:58 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by oneirodynia at 12:58 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
If you want to impress your date on that wilderness picnic, open the wine with your shoelace:
While I applaud the MacGuyveresque ingenuity there, sticking a dirty shoelace into your bottle of wine is probably not going to impress most women into any bawdy al fresco rumpety-pump.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:59 PM on October 13, 2009 [11 favorites]
While I applaud the MacGuyveresque ingenuity there, sticking a dirty shoelace into your bottle of wine is probably not going to impress most women into any bawdy al fresco rumpety-pump.
posted by middleclasstool at 12:59 PM on October 13, 2009 [11 favorites]
The VW Golf--at least in GT trim--uses a pull-out bottle opener to divide the console cup holders. Of course, we don't get that here in the US. It would make people very MADD indeed.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:02 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by uncleozzy at 1:02 PM on October 13, 2009
Ah, I remember the good ol' days ... pop machines with glass bottles. For a while, they use to lay horizontally and you had to grab the bottle by the neck and give it a good yank to pull it from the machine. Then people realized it was much easier to simply pop the cap. They quickly redesigned that feature.
That was before the Kaiser cornered the market on onions, but I digress ...
posted by RavinDave at 1:04 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
That was before the Kaiser cornered the market on onions, but I digress ...
posted by RavinDave at 1:04 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Also, for the writers in the crowd, you can turn any of those terrible, blank white deserts into a handy bottle opener so that you can get all Hemingway on your liver.
posted by burnfirewalls at 1:06 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by burnfirewalls at 1:06 PM on October 13, 2009
Don't mess with my worn out Texas shaped novelty bottle opener.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:08 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by dirtdirt at 1:08 PM on October 13, 2009
If you want to impress your date on that wilderness picnic, open the wine with your shoelace:
1. Push the cork into the bottle with a stick.
2. Pour a small amount of wine into a cup or glass.
It would seem that you have already solved the problem here in step two. Once you have accomplished 'send wine spraying everywhere while dunking a dirty stick into the bottle,' the 'allow a dirty shoelace to marinate in the wine' seen in later steps is just a bonus.
posted by Avelwood at 1:09 PM on October 13, 2009 [9 favorites]
1. Push the cork into the bottle with a stick.
2. Pour a small amount of wine into a cup or glass.
It would seem that you have already solved the problem here in step two. Once you have accomplished 'send wine spraying everywhere while dunking a dirty stick into the bottle,' the 'allow a dirty shoelace to marinate in the wine' seen in later steps is just a bonus.
posted by Avelwood at 1:09 PM on October 13, 2009 [9 favorites]
just use the lighter
This is what I do. Once you get the fulcrum move down, you can open 'em using all sorts of stuff. I just always have a lighter handy since I smoke like a chimney.
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 1:11 PM on October 13, 2009
This is what I do. Once you get the fulcrum move down, you can open 'em using all sorts of stuff. I just always have a lighter handy since I smoke like a chimney.
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 1:11 PM on October 13, 2009
twist-offs? I mean, WTF USA?
posted by GuyZero at 1:12 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by GuyZero at 1:12 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Al Fresco Rumpety-Pump is my new band name.
posted by adamdschneider at 1:13 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by adamdschneider at 1:13 PM on October 13, 2009
Don't forget the reef bottle opening sandals.
My wife got me a pair and I had no idea what the thing on the bottom was - I thought It was some sort of windsurfing equipment which shows you the union of my knowledge of beer and windsurfing.
posted by shothotbot at 1:13 PM on October 13, 2009
My wife got me a pair and I had no idea what the thing on the bottom was - I thought It was some sort of windsurfing equipment which shows you the union of my knowledge of beer and windsurfing.
posted by shothotbot at 1:13 PM on October 13, 2009
Best openers? Church keys.
posted by klangklangston at 1:14 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by klangklangston at 1:14 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
twist-offs? I mean, WTF USA?
To be fair, Blue Point [warning, awful website] bottles in twist-offs, and they brew pretty good beer. I wonder at the reason, though, because it's got to cost more than pry-off, right?
posted by uncleozzy at 1:19 PM on October 13, 2009
To be fair, Blue Point [warning, awful website] bottles in twist-offs, and they brew pretty good beer. I wonder at the reason, though, because it's got to cost more than pry-off, right?
posted by uncleozzy at 1:19 PM on October 13, 2009
just use the lighter
This is what I do. Once you get the fulcrum move down, you can open 'em using all sorts of stuff. I just always have a lighter handy since I smoke like a chimney.
My favorite thing to use is another beer :)
posted by waxboy at 1:23 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is what I do. Once you get the fulcrum move down, you can open 'em using all sorts of stuff. I just always have a lighter handy since I smoke like a chimney.
My favorite thing to use is another beer :)
posted by waxboy at 1:23 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Anybody know why all bottles don't have twist off tops? Is that some sort of proprietary technology or something?
Just curious...
posted by LakesideOrion at 1:29 PM on October 13, 2009
Just curious...
posted by LakesideOrion at 1:29 PM on October 13, 2009
I wonder at the reason, though, because it's got to cost more than pry-off, right?
Considering that all the mass-market brands of Canadian beer use them I doubt it. Molson's never did any favours to beer drinkers other than twist-off caps.
posted by GuyZero at 1:29 PM on October 13, 2009
Considering that all the mass-market brands of Canadian beer use them I doubt it. Molson's never did any favours to beer drinkers other than twist-off caps.
posted by GuyZero at 1:29 PM on October 13, 2009
My Christofle Décapsuleur probably cost more than anything it has ever opened.
posted by furtive at 1:30 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by furtive at 1:30 PM on October 13, 2009
For the more adventurous, there are the methods described here (from this FPP).
I have seen that "World's Best" in action and I am dying to find one; now that I know the name I might finally track one down; thanks!
Finally, those old fashioned churchkeys have not disappeared; they have evolved to open paint cans, too.
posted by TedW at 1:31 PM on October 13, 2009
I have seen that "World's Best" in action and I am dying to find one; now that I know the name I might finally track one down; thanks!
Finally, those old fashioned churchkeys have not disappeared; they have evolved to open paint cans, too.
posted by TedW at 1:31 PM on October 13, 2009
Occasionally I'll see someone use their teeth to open bottles. That cannot be a good idea.
posted by scrutiny at 1:32 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by scrutiny at 1:32 PM on October 13, 2009
Open a beer with your forearm.
The best way to do this is to get yourself a twistoff and give your buddy a non-twistoff. Then open your beer and he'll do the same - and end up with a fun circular scar on his forearm!
posted by GuyZero at 1:37 PM on October 13, 2009
The best way to do this is to get yourself a twistoff and give your buddy a non-twistoff. Then open your beer and he'll do the same - and end up with a fun circular scar on his forearm!
posted by GuyZero at 1:37 PM on October 13, 2009
This is wonderful; I think you might just have solved Christmas. I've never been able to master that lighter trick and it irks me but with this on my fridge, who cares?
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:47 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:47 PM on October 13, 2009
Lakeside orion, you can recap a pop-top bottle, not so with screw offs. I don't know enough about recycling to know if breweries can actually get their own bottles back; I assume they can't, but homebrewers (almost) solely refill pop top bottles, since we can recap them.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:51 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by craven_morhead at 1:51 PM on October 13, 2009
Also, not that it was encouraging alcohol abuse or anything, but they handed out keychain bottle openers in orientation week at university. Because it would be horrible if some poor engineering frosh found himself without a way to open his beer.
posted by GuyZero at 1:52 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 1:52 PM on October 13, 2009
Like the other previous thread, I've used a door jamb in a pinch. If I remember correctly, there was a metal lip that worked just as well(kinda) as a speed opener.
We currently have a magnetic wall mount style on our fridge, with a metal basket underneath (the basket was on clearance on Target for like a buck).
posted by lizjohn at 1:53 PM on October 13, 2009
We currently have a magnetic wall mount style on our fridge, with a metal basket underneath (the basket was on clearance on Target for like a buck).
posted by lizjohn at 1:53 PM on October 13, 2009
I've been carrying this sweetness around for 14 years now. Got it for 25 cents Canadian in a Quebec City religious stuff store. Blessed by the nun working there, even.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:56 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:56 PM on October 13, 2009
Two reasons a brewery will use pop top bottles instead of a screwoffs.
1) Much easier to find low capacity crown capper machines than a screw-off bottler. (Conversely when you need higher capacity machines, it's much tougher to find a straight crown capper. This was why Sierra Nevada was in screw-off bottles for so many years)
2) As it turns out, research shows that there's far less dissolved oxygen and oxygen ingress with a standard crown cap than twist-offs. It allows the beer to last a little longer on the shelf. Hence the reason Sierra Nevada switched back to crowns.
And the other unofficial reason - for the same reason it's taken wineries forever to explore non-cork enclosures - image. Wine snobs turn their noses up at anything other than cork and a lot of craft beer geeks assume the worst if its a screw-off. Fun ain't it?
posted by drewbage1847 at 2:01 PM on October 13, 2009 [6 favorites]
1) Much easier to find low capacity crown capper machines than a screw-off bottler. (Conversely when you need higher capacity machines, it's much tougher to find a straight crown capper. This was why Sierra Nevada was in screw-off bottles for so many years)
2) As it turns out, research shows that there's far less dissolved oxygen and oxygen ingress with a standard crown cap than twist-offs. It allows the beer to last a little longer on the shelf. Hence the reason Sierra Nevada switched back to crowns.
And the other unofficial reason - for the same reason it's taken wineries forever to explore non-cork enclosures - image. Wine snobs turn their noses up at anything other than cork and a lot of craft beer geeks assume the worst if its a screw-off. Fun ain't it?
posted by drewbage1847 at 2:01 PM on October 13, 2009 [6 favorites]
...
And the sea captain says "None of that fancy stuff. I wanna do it the regular way."
To which the old whore replies "I know that. I just figgered you'd want to open them beers first."
Thank you, thank you. Tip your waitress.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:05 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
And the sea captain says "None of that fancy stuff. I wanna do it the regular way."
To which the old whore replies "I know that. I just figgered you'd want to open them beers first."
Thank you, thank you. Tip your waitress.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:05 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Lakeside orion, you can recap a pop-top bottle, not so with screw offs. I don't know enough about recycling to know if breweries can actually get their own bottles back; I assume they can't
Not so. In Canada, most bottled beer comes in the same twist-off bottles, which are washed and re-used (the bottles are mostly all the same, though they do come in clear, brown and green, so the brewery doesn't need to get their own bottles back). As it turns out, this kind of sucks because the threads on twist off bottles tend to get damaged and so the bottles can only be re-used a limited number of times, compared to pop-top bottles which can be reused many more times. I'm not totally sure about the situation in the US, but I think bottles are generally not re-used there, even though pop-top bottles are far more common.
posted by ssg at 2:06 PM on October 13, 2009
Not so. In Canada, most bottled beer comes in the same twist-off bottles, which are washed and re-used (the bottles are mostly all the same, though they do come in clear, brown and green, so the brewery doesn't need to get their own bottles back). As it turns out, this kind of sucks because the threads on twist off bottles tend to get damaged and so the bottles can only be re-used a limited number of times, compared to pop-top bottles which can be reused many more times. I'm not totally sure about the situation in the US, but I think bottles are generally not re-used there, even though pop-top bottles are far more common.
posted by ssg at 2:06 PM on October 13, 2009
Attach key ring sized bottle opener to dog's collar. Call dog. Open beer. Drink.
posted by nestor_makhno at 2:06 PM on October 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by nestor_makhno at 2:06 PM on October 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
Opening a beer with another beer is the philosophically superior way. The technique in that video, though, requires a lot of finger strength. Far better to tuck the second beer into the crook of your index finger and thumb, so the beer-fulcrum pivots closer to your wrist bones.
posted by anthill at 2:09 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by anthill at 2:09 PM on October 13, 2009
How would US breweries even get their own bottles back? In Ontario the recycling is essentially paid for by the brewers (and the liquor store), so they set the system up to get their bottles back. And you pay more for Sleeman's because it comes in non-standard bottles which don't fit into the scheme (and other brewers who do the same thing) - those get ground/recycled as opposed to reused (AFAIK).
posted by GuyZero at 2:09 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 2:09 PM on October 13, 2009
I know for a fact that at least one night in at least one bar the night after management got stingy with free employee drinks and installed some kind of flow meter on the taps at least one bar-back hiding in the basement was opening screw top beers, taking a swig, refilling them with water and putting the caps back on.
This is very hard to do with standard caps, because you have to open them very carefully to keep the cap from being irreversibly bent and I was too drunk to do it properly.
posted by dirty lies at 2:15 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
This is very hard to do with standard caps, because you have to open them very carefully to keep the cap from being irreversibly bent and I was too drunk to do it properly.
posted by dirty lies at 2:15 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
While opening one beer with another is great, the last person still goes thirsty.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:20 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by craven_morhead at 2:20 PM on October 13, 2009
> You can have one built into bike tools, or made from bicycle chain.
Well, sure, if you're some kind of weenie.
Real phreds use their headsets, axle wrenches, seatstays, quick releases, and racks.
posted by ardgedee at 2:23 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Well, sure, if you're some kind of weenie.
Real phreds use their headsets, axle wrenches, seatstays, quick releases, and racks.
posted by ardgedee at 2:23 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
or you could, y'know, open it from whatever happens to be around. it works.
Anecdote: I opened a bottle of Corona with my teeth once. The neck of the bottle exploded and I had broken glass all over my face and in my mouth.
Moral of this: WOOOOO PARTYYYYYYY!!!
posted by chugg at 2:36 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
Anecdote: I opened a bottle of Corona with my teeth once. The neck of the bottle exploded and I had broken glass all over my face and in my mouth.
Moral of this: WOOOOO PARTYYYYYYY!!!
posted by chugg at 2:36 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
Why would I not just OPEN THE BOTTLE WITH A SWORD???!?!?
posted by blue_beetle at 2:55 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 2:55 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
I have a friend who has a wonderful Pope John Paul II bottle opener which her friend got for her at the Vatican gift shop.
We call it the Popener.
posted by koeselitz at 3:06 PM on October 13, 2009 [5 favorites]
We call it the Popener.
posted by koeselitz at 3:06 PM on October 13, 2009 [5 favorites]
I opened a bottle of Corona with my teeth once.
My dentist told me a story of a guy who came in with painful front teeth. On examination, while the fronts looked fine, the backs were chipped away. Eventually the dentist discovered that his patient was in the habit of opening beer bottles with his teeth.
It seemed to me to be the perfect opportunity to install stainless steel caps, perhaps with a little ridge to catch the bottle cap better, but the dentist didn't think encouraging that kind of behavior was advisable.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 3:12 PM on October 13, 2009
My dentist told me a story of a guy who came in with painful front teeth. On examination, while the fronts looked fine, the backs were chipped away. Eventually the dentist discovered that his patient was in the habit of opening beer bottles with his teeth.
It seemed to me to be the perfect opportunity to install stainless steel caps, perhaps with a little ridge to catch the bottle cap better, but the dentist didn't think encouraging that kind of behavior was advisable.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 3:12 PM on October 13, 2009
To open my beer bottles I untwist the wire cage and gently remove the cork. What?
posted by fixedgear at 3:16 PM on October 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by fixedgear at 3:16 PM on October 13, 2009 [4 favorites]
I've got... well, let's just say more bottle openers than I will ever need. My favorite is probably the Paragon Machine Works one, which is made of titanium and doubles as a 15mm wrench (convenient for bolt-on bike axles). Someday, I'll buy one of these Nambu Tekki crows, just because they're nifty-looking.
posted by box at 3:25 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 3:25 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Opening a beer with another beer is the philosophically superior way.
A foreigner at a friend's party couldn't find a church key and so did this for a bunch of the other foreigners. I didn't have the heart to tell him they were all screw caps.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:28 PM on October 13, 2009
A foreigner at a friend's party couldn't find a church key and so did this for a bunch of the other foreigners. I didn't have the heart to tell him they were all screw caps.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:28 PM on October 13, 2009
I like this one. I think the idea is if you've had too many you'll be too dizzy to use it.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:28 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:28 PM on October 13, 2009
The great virtue of belt buckle bottle openers is that any excuse for a beer is also an excuse to depants.
posted by nowonmai at 3:35 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by nowonmai at 3:35 PM on October 13, 2009
Oh wait, this one goes to 11:
According to accounts, not only did his appendage sport a Prince Albert piercing but our man in blue then proceeded to open people's drinks with a bottle opener that was chained to his piercing.
posted by nowonmai at 3:40 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
According to accounts, not only did his appendage sport a Prince Albert piercing but our man in blue then proceeded to open people's drinks with a bottle opener that was chained to his piercing.
posted by nowonmai at 3:40 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Al Fresco Rumpety-Pump is my new band name.
I'd like it better if you were Al Fresco and the Rumpety-Pumps
posted by mannequito at 3:43 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'd like it better if you were Al Fresco and the Rumpety-Pumps
posted by mannequito at 3:43 PM on October 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
My favorite bottle opener is a paint can key on one side and a bottle opener on the other. I think at some point a hardware store in NY was giving them to pros (my mom used to paint houses for a living). I love it. I can also open a beer with a lighter because I rule like that.
posted by Never teh Bride at 4:48 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by Never teh Bride at 4:48 PM on October 13, 2009
Most painful bottle opener: eye socket. Saw this demonstrated by an ex-marine.
The key to your server rack or control cabinet probably includes a bottle opener. I love pointing this out to the most uptight power station operators - the type that wouldn't let a beer withing 10 miles of his facility.
posted by scruss at 5:27 PM on October 13, 2009
The key to your server rack or control cabinet probably includes a bottle opener. I love pointing this out to the most uptight power station operators - the type that wouldn't let a beer withing 10 miles of his facility.
posted by scruss at 5:27 PM on October 13, 2009
Most painful bottle opener: eye socket. Saw this demonstrated by an ex-marine.
I am unworthy to look upon this man.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:58 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
I am unworthy to look upon this man.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:58 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Set of tongs (kitchen, grill, whatever - probably not glass) - easiest beer opener period... tons of leverage, easy snug fit. You don't even have step away from cooking.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:07 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:07 PM on October 13, 2009
Heh. About every time there's beer in some meeting, they forget to bring bottle openers. Most people got proficient with using the edge of a table to open bottles (if you check the edges of the counters in meeting rooms, most will be somewhat chewed by bottle caps). I got tired of that dance, and bought a bottle opener and leave it on my office's whiteboard with a "Fee: $100 per bottle" sign.
posted by qvantamon at 6:22 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by qvantamon at 6:22 PM on October 13, 2009
Opening a beer with another beer is my favorite technique as well. Occasionally it results in two open beers instead of the intended single. I leave it as an exercise for the reader whether this constitutes a point for or against the technique.
And way, way, WAY better than the shoelace technique for wine bottles is to bang it really hard against something. This has completely replaced my former oh-crap-we-forgot-the-corkscrew technique of wandering the hotel until I find something held up by a coarse drywall screw.
posted by range at 6:33 PM on October 13, 2009
And way, way, WAY better than the shoelace technique for wine bottles is to bang it really hard against something. This has completely replaced my former oh-crap-we-forgot-the-corkscrew technique of wandering the hotel until I find something held up by a coarse drywall screw.
posted by range at 6:33 PM on October 13, 2009
> > Most painful bottle opener: eye socket. Saw this demonstrated by an ex-marine.
> I am unworthy to look upon this man.
And likewise, I am certain.
posted by ardgedee at 6:49 PM on October 13, 2009
> I am unworthy to look upon this man.
And likewise, I am certain.
posted by ardgedee at 6:49 PM on October 13, 2009
I have the singing UT fight song opener. I got it about two weeks before i was accepted into the school, so i see it as lucky.
posted by djduckie at 7:02 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by djduckie at 7:02 PM on October 13, 2009
I have a friend who has a wonderful Pope John Paul II bottle opener which her friend got for her at the Vatican gift shop.
Holy crap!
I've got one too. Yes, it's called the Popener.
posted by eriko at 8:00 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Holy crap!
I've got one too. Yes, it's called the Popener.
posted by eriko at 8:00 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Are corks dead in the USA and Britain? They are almost completely gone in Australia.
Bizarre, because it only seems like 2 years ago that there was a rather robust "cork or twist top?" debate. It's all over now. Even v.expensive wines have twisties now.
But since Aussies invented wine in a cardboard box, I wouldn't be surprised if we are the trendsetters here.
Y'all know how you accumulate a collection of cork screws over time... I'm seriously thinking of chucking out the entire lot, bar one for emergencies.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:09 PM on October 13, 2009
Bizarre, because it only seems like 2 years ago that there was a rather robust "cork or twist top?" debate. It's all over now. Even v.expensive wines have twisties now.
But since Aussies invented wine in a cardboard box, I wouldn't be surprised if we are the trendsetters here.
Y'all know how you accumulate a collection of cork screws over time... I'm seriously thinking of chucking out the entire lot, bar one for emergencies.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:09 PM on October 13, 2009
There was a Pope garden water sprinkler I saw back in the 80s - commemorating an American visit IIRC. It was called Let Us Spray.
Pure win.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:17 PM on October 13, 2009
Pure win.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:17 PM on October 13, 2009
I thought the correct term was "rumpy-pumpy"
The presence of the letters E & T debases all of us. You know it does. Admit it.
posted by aramaic at 8:45 PM on October 13, 2009
The presence of the letters E & T debases all of us. You know it does. Admit it.
posted by aramaic at 8:45 PM on October 13, 2009
Our extra "beer" fridge is in a basement room that we prefer to keep latched, because the cats like to go shit in the foundation gravel. Our clever system involves slipping a paintcan churchkey in the eye of the latch, so one can open one's beer on the way back out of the room, making it easy to remember to slip the churchkey back into the hasp. We haven't bothered to solve the problem of the pile of bottle caps on the shelf next to the door, we just go scoop them up and deal with them when they start spilling over onto the floor.
posted by padraigin at 9:23 PM on October 13, 2009
posted by padraigin at 9:23 PM on October 13, 2009
I like the method where you put the lip of the cap on the edge of some counter or something and hit down with your fist.
The drawback is that you take a big chunk out of someone's counter, but if you get something solid enough you can also hurt your hand really badly.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:26 PM on October 13, 2009
The drawback is that you take a big chunk out of someone's counter, but if you get something solid enough you can also hurt your hand really badly.
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:26 PM on October 13, 2009
In Canada, most bottled beer comes in the same twist-off bottles, which are washed and re-used
Didn't know that. They did that in Mexico, or at least the town I was in for vacation. The friend who knew his way around had one rule: don't break the bottles. We did break some, but had some shorter bottles we propped up with paper to look the same height as the others in the box when we returned them for the deposit.
posted by shinyshiny at 12:57 AM on October 14, 2009
Didn't know that. They did that in Mexico, or at least the town I was in for vacation. The friend who knew his way around had one rule: don't break the bottles. We did break some, but had some shorter bottles we propped up with paper to look the same height as the others in the box when we returned them for the deposit.
posted by shinyshiny at 12:57 AM on October 14, 2009
The interesting thing about the bottle re-using scheme is that it doesn't appear to be that energy efficient. A brewery in my area did some calculations and decided that it was better environmentally to package their beer in cans because of the energy used to transport the bottles and clean them. I can't vouch for their calculations, but it is an interesting counter-intuitive result.
posted by ssg at 12:42 PM on October 14, 2009
posted by ssg at 12:42 PM on October 14, 2009
Bottle is purely about consumer preferences. Cans are definitely superior in terms of packing density, less material usage and recyclability. A properly-lined can shouldn't have any more taste transfer than a bottle (in theory, I still taste it, but maybe it's my imagination).
posted by GuyZero at 12:47 PM on October 14, 2009
posted by GuyZero at 12:47 PM on October 14, 2009
It's not quite all about consumer preferences, GuyZero. One issue lots of small breweries have is that canning machines are traditionally much more expensive than bottling machines. Oskar Blues and a few other craft breweries have switched to cans now that more economical canning machines are available, but for a long time that bar kept a lot of craft brewers away from cans.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:31 PM on October 14, 2009
posted by craven_morhead at 1:31 PM on October 14, 2009
I've been using this bottle opener for ages. It's patent US 4,617,842 Not for bottles but because it has a slot for opening stay tabs. Very handy when one wants to open a can without removing their gloves. I'd love to get some more of this or similiar packaged (IE: all metal and oversized key sized) alternatives if anyone knows of a source.
posted by Mitheral at 10:35 PM on October 15, 2009
posted by Mitheral at 10:35 PM on October 15, 2009
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posted by mannequito at 12:41 PM on October 13, 2009 [1 favorite]