Leaning tower of South Padre Island

December 11, 2009 9:32 AM

Colorful drive-by commentary on the $125 million boondoggle that is the leaning tower of South Padre Island.
posted by Albryhno (43 comments total)

Sounds like a young Cleveland.
posted by nitsuj at 9:51 AM on December 11, 2009 [4 favorites]

Colorful 500 error on god knows what, unfortunately.
posted by shmegegge at 9:52 AM on December 11, 2009

I got frustrated pretty quickly with the excessive and seemingly random use of boldface.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:52 AM on December 11, 2009 [7 favorites]

that building sure is leaning
posted by rebent at 9:53 AM on December 11, 2009

The only thing keeping that thing standing is the power of denial.

"Bedrock, schmedrock! We're building it right here on the beach, right next to the ocean! Surely this water-saturated clay is as good a base as anything else!"
posted by Sys Rq at 9:53 AM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Direct link to the video if the page is down.

Good link. Educational and entertaining.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:53 AM on December 11, 2009

Knowing nothing about the situation, this is a pretty weak standalone post, but that video is kind of awesome. "Well, looka here! It's say-und!"
posted by Madamina at 9:55 AM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

"they should turn it into a homeless shelter... homeless don't mind sleeping sideways."
posted by mr. remy at 9:59 AM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

This FPP could have used a few more links, especially some that weren't riddled with bold type. Still, it's interesting to see what a mess this is, I bet the soil engineers are having a hard time sleeping.
posted by Vindaloo at 10:00 AM on December 11, 2009

"can you see that big-ass piece of metal done come chunking off that thing?"
posted by mr. remy at 10:01 AM on December 11, 2009

Can't they just dig a fourteen inch hole beneath the other side and let it tilt back?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:01 AM on December 11, 2009

Dat what I want you all to see, he all mind me - same commentator takes his dog to the beach. Possibly NSFW.
posted by mr. remy at 10:03 AM on December 11, 2009 [11 favorites]

It's this kind of random bolding that makes it hard for me to read a lot of comic books!
posted by brundlefly at 10:04 AM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Should be marked NSFW for causing me to whack my desk repeatedly while laughing.
posted by e.e. coli at 10:08 AM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Okay, yeah. *subscribe*
posted by Sys Rq at 10:10 AM on December 11, 2009

Here’s a little expert commentary Ocean Tower South Padre Island, implosion stories: halted sunk more than 14 inches Antun Domit "differential settlement" engineers tell us clay stratum that compresses a depth above weight sinking of the building fix separate additional support a safety issue. too near a column physical injury total failure, catastrophically affected. all work has ceased complete shoring trick photography not Realtor Alice Donahue words of encouragement: very good news safer and stronger than ever, great opportunity bargain finest quality built tower unmatched, contingent being fixed, get legal advice. rare opportunity take advantage regain momentum. the worse start over, second shot? 1st try, invaluable lingering last views little bits?
posted by cog_nate at 10:12 AM on December 11, 2009 [3 favorites]

Sys Rq: "
"Bedrock, schmedrock! We're building it right here on the beach, right next to the ocean! Surely this water-saturated clay is as good a base as anything else!""

The text is fantastic :"very good news for the Ocean Tower project - the building will be safer and stronger than ever, just delayed". Who the fuck wants to live in a building that's "safer than ever", even if it's not on a barrier island in hurricane territory?

I'd like to see Lonnie become a management consultant.
posted by boo_radley at 10:13 AM on December 11, 2009

That quote from the realtor in the article is classic delusional team-player speak.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:17 AM on December 11, 2009 [2 favorites]

"if workers are too near a column when it cracks, physical injury could result." Now that's a strategic use of the passive voice.
posted by stargell at 10:23 AM on December 11, 2009

They call it "ocean tower" but I call it "somebody's damn nightmare!"
posted by fuq at 10:24 AM on December 11, 2009

Horace Rumpole: "I got frustrated pretty quickly with the excessive and seemingly random use of boldface."

I blame Joel Spolsky, Jeff Atwood, and everyone who writes in or upvotes that style on Stack Overflow.
posted by mkb at 10:29 AM on December 11, 2009

They needed some big-ass geotech on the front end of this project.
posted by Danf at 10:30 AM on December 11, 2009

This is fantastic. Is there a kickstarter page for Meatwad's Tour of the Damn Nightmares of Gulf Coast Real Estate Development yet? This is the sure-fire antidote to HGTV's cavalcade of "Has Your Property Appreciated Enough?" shows. Get this guy $10K and a steadicam stat.
posted by ulotrichous at 10:34 AM on December 11, 2009

Between the FPP and Mr. Remy's link I'm pretty sure that I want a lot more Lonnie voiceover in my life.
posted by Monsters at 10:35 AM on December 11, 2009

Metafilter and Swamplot, my two favorite sites, converge in a leaning tower of awesome.
posted by pomegranate at 10:39 AM on December 11, 2009

Didn't Monty Python do this first, and on a lower budget?
posted by tommasz at 10:53 AM on December 11, 2009

He sounds like T-Bag's insane little brother.
posted by Harry at 10:55 AM on December 11, 2009

This fella's voice made me a little homesick at first, but before too long it made me very glad I moved.
posted by Pecinpah at 10:57 AM on December 11, 2009

The one time the Bible has something useful and relevant to say and people ignore it.
posted by GuyZero at 11:10 AM on December 11, 2009 [2 favorites]

If I ever need to make a documentary about shrubbery, I know who I'm getting to narrate it. That guy sells the word like nobody's business.
posted by Shepherd at 11:39 AM on December 11, 2009

The next time I need to give someone directions near the beach, I'm just going to tilt my head to the appropriate side and say "Ocean out that way, baby."
posted by mdonley at 11:49 AM on December 11, 2009

mkb: "I blame Joel Spolsky, Jeff Atwood, and everyone who writes in or upvotes that style on Stack Overflow."

It all goes back to Jakob Nielsen. If you compare his recommendations with their formatting, it's clear they followed his advice carefully. Big readable fonts, with attention drawn to summary sentences by bolding a few important words. Atwood also makes an effort to include pictures, even if their value is dubious.
posted by pwnguin at 11:55 AM on December 11, 2009

That person has a beautiful vernacular. Is it native to that area?
posted by Sova at 11:58 AM on December 11, 2009

i can't stop wondering if it would fucking rule to have this guy as a co-worker, or if it would be the worst thing ever.
posted by rainperimeter at 12:12 PM on December 11, 2009 [2 favorites]

Sounds like Mister ChiCity's southern cousin!
posted by schoolgirl report at 12:58 PM on December 11, 2009

That person has a beautiful vernacular. Is it native to that area?

Spanglish is native to the area. That person sounds like they're from S. Central Louisiana.

Well, to be fair, LA proper isn't too far from the TX Gulf coast. And yeah; they talk like thayt.

My BIL, who is actually from Central Texas, also kind of talks like that; he is known for such quotes as "You mean, you put that on your taters?" and "Mayn, that guy's a pete-waller."

It can get old; he's also known for taking cellphone pics of his butt and sending it to his grandmother.
posted by emjaybee at 1:36 PM on December 11, 2009

I want that guy to be the voice of my in-car GPS.
posted by vibrotronica at 1:39 PM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

Anyone know how to say "oopsie daisy" in Mandarin?
posted by minimii at 3:42 PM on December 11, 2009

Safe upon the solid rock
The ugly houses stand;
Come and see my shining palace tower
Built upon the sand!
posted by dilettante at 3:52 PM on December 11, 2009

"Bedrock, schmedrock! We're building it right here on the beach, right next to the ocean! Surely this water-saturated clay is as good a base as anything else!'"

There are lots of successful projects built on sand, clay and low bearing dirt. If you've ever seen a friction pile driver working in your town then yep, a project built not on bedrock.
posted by Mitheral at 7:43 PM on December 11, 2009

That beach video was AWESOME! Better than the tower one for sure
posted by cardern at 7:47 PM on December 11, 2009

As best as I can tell, this is the footprint on google maps. You can see the tower looming in the distance in streetview.

Between the years of 10 to 16, I spent at least a month of every summer on Padre Island. My grandfather worked for the park service until he lost his vision and moved north to live with us. It's a beautiful place. It's where I learned to catch, clean and cook catfish from the canals, I learned how to pilot a pontoon boat in the Intracoastal, and how to enjoy Budweisers, borrowed from pappy's fridge, at a beach bonfire.

One year he proudly showed us the public bath houses they had built for the park. To my memory they were impressive things, like viking long houses on stilts. The next year they were gone, some minor hurricane moved the beach 100 yards inland and ripped the houses from their pilings. That's another lesson I learned in my summers on Padre Island, sand, wood, or concrete, it's nothing more than a sandcastle when you build on a barrier island.
posted by peeedro at 11:09 PM on December 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

[H]e is known for such quotes as “You mean, you put that on your taters?”

What?! We may have an answer to the “taters” question at last?!
posted by letourneau at 10:53 AM on December 12, 2009