...Electric Boogaloo
February 3, 2010 12:41 PM   Subscribe

“Well, it seems to be happening a lot sooner than I thought. I understand now that this [is] considered a pet project of Dan DiDio, SVP-Executive Editor. That he is determined to impress new bosses by building on DC’s biggest selling comic book of all time with multiple prequel comic miniseries and spinoff ongoing projects.”
I understand that both Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons have to be offered first refusal before any of these titles could be published. But if they don’t want to work on them themselves (and Alan Moore is never going to agree), DiDio has been sounding out people who might be willing to take on the task.

While some creators are reticent, the argument goes if there are a number of Watchmen spinoff projects, any blame or shame can be spread on many shoulders.
Rich Johnston's “Bleeding Cool” column on what some might consider another sign of the eschaton immanentized.
posted by kipmanley (75 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
*Looks at the title* I'm thinking more Watchmen 2: This Time It's Personal.
posted by PenDevil at 12:51 PM on February 3, 2010


[15 minutes ago quote goes here]
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 12:51 PM on February 3, 2010


Wasn't the movie a flop? wuh?
posted by The Whelk at 12:56 PM on February 3, 2010


Y'know, I'm willing to give a main series the benefit of the doubt, even though it'll no doubt piss all over the original. But I'm kind of shocked at the comic industry's continued willingness to prop up evens on ten different miniseries.

This is how you lose readers.


I've read a lot of comics in my time, and I think I've read exactly one 'event' spin-off that was any good. (It was Civil War: Front Line, and then Marvel decided to run the Front Line idea into the ground and kill any goodwill I had for the characters.) The rest were godawful.

Y'know why people think Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns were cool? They were self-contained tightly-written stories, not sprawling mega-events.
posted by graventy at 12:57 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


I am for this; if for no other reason than it will infuriate Alan Moore.
posted by entropicamericana at 12:57 PM on February 3, 2010 [5 favorites]


I'm still holding out for the Watchmen Saturday morning cartoon.

"Rut roh, Rozyrandius!"
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 12:58 PM on February 3, 2010 [8 favorites]


the eschaton immanentized would be Moore agreeing to do it.
posted by boo_radley at 1:00 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


You know why Alan Moore isn't going to agree? It's not some 'artistic integrity' bullshit, no. Alan Moore just needs a goddamn reason to unleash his shamanic fury on the DC offices.

Seriously, Dan DiDio is going to wake up with his soul trapped in another dimension and his body used as a golem to wreck the offices in the nude. JUST WATCH.
posted by griphus at 1:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [8 favorites]


Moore should agree to do it, and then ruin it so badly that DC is unwilling to touch the radioactive corpse of the title for generations.
posted by oddman at 1:03 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]


"Reticent" doesn't mean "hesitant," which is what the quote apparently wants it to mean.
posted by edheil at 1:05 PM on February 3, 2010


Moore should agree to do it, and then ruin it so badly that DC is unwilling to touch the radioactive corpse of the title for generations.

What like, told from the perspective of a hesitant stone-age man as he stares at the embers and imagines the dying thoughts of a reticent alien squid that has suddenly appeared in New York. Those three seconds of final squid thoughts last for 68 issues?
posted by Elmore at 1:13 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Reticent" doesn't mean "hesitant," which is what the quote apparently wants it to mean.

From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: ret·i·cent
Pronunciation: \-sənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin reticent-, reticens, present participle of reticēre to keep silent, from re- + tacēre to be silent — more at tacit
Date: circa 1834

1 : inclined to be silent or uncommunicative in speech : reserved
2 : restrained in expression, presentation, or appearance
3 : reluctant

Main Entry: re·luc·tant
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈlək-tənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin reluctant-, reluctans, present participle of reluctari to struggle against, from re- + luctari to struggle
Date: 1667
: feeling or showing aversion, hesitation, or unwillingness ; also : having or assuming a specified role unwillingly
So, uh, yeah, you have it wrong.
posted by splice at 1:18 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


It would be great to see Rob Liefeld drawing Rorschach.

Rorschach's Journal October 12th, 1985

"Late for team-up with Nite Owl - too long strapping on pouches.

Have decided my fight against the scum and maggots of the criminal world would be helped by use of gun the size of Brooklyn Bridge.

Just realized i have no feet. Hrrm."

posted by panboi at 1:18 PM on February 3, 2010 [18 favorites]


Yeah, if I were him, I'd express incredible enthusiasm for the project in every available outlet, then turn in script after script of Rorschach silently eating beans for thirty pages.

Totally. "None of you seem to understand. I'm not contractually obligated to be here with you. You're contractually locked in here with *ME*!" screams Moore as he hits DiDio upside the head with the script for Watchmen Academy 4: Rorschach Goes Bananas.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:25 PM on February 3, 2010 [20 favorites]


Has anyone else said anything about this? Other than this site?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:28 PM on February 3, 2010


Wasn't the movie a flop? wuh?

After the movie came out, sales of the comic itself skyrocketed. It's not the best-selling graphic novel of all time. This rumor primarily mentions a new comic series, with a little tidbit at the end about a possible sequel.
posted by mkb at 1:29 PM on February 3, 2010


I do believe that I would go to at least one comic convention for the sole purpose of saying, in person, to whomever would agree to write this thing: "[Sir|Madam], you are a fucking tool."

It wouldn't matter who they were, even if they were my favorite writer of the moment, even if they were a freakish amalgamation of all my favorite writers, even if they cured cancer, or had wrecked their hands pulling Haitian children out of earthquake rubble, even if Jack Kirby Himself spontaneously rose from the grave to illustrate it... even if, even if Dave Gibbons simply decided to write as well as draw his co-creation, I would have no real choice but to calmly inform them that, regardless of whatever they had done, were doing, or would ever do for the comics field, they were, henceforth and irretrievably, a fucking tool.

Unless Moore himself were doing it, in which case I would hold out hope against all odds, yea verily unto the end of all things, that oddman was right.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:29 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


If I were Moore, I'd say yes and then kill off all the characters immediately. In the past. Introduce a whole bunch of new characters that were never referred to anywhere in the original Watchmen that are thinly veiled versions of the DC editorial staff. Ensure that they all suffer dreadful fates. Keep saying "trust me, I know where I'm going with this," but just keep making it make the events of the "future" Watchmen story more and more impossible. When removed from the title, swear that I had a plan and that now DC has "ruined" it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:31 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]


Oh, and besides, Moore doesn't do conventions, so moot point.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:32 PM on February 3, 2010


I like to imagine that somewhere, in a room lit only a single oil lantern, Alan Moore is sharpening an axe.
posted by Caduceus at 1:36 PM on February 3, 2010


Has anyone else said anything about this? Other than this site?

kfb, Rich Johnston has been a pretty reliable source of inside info on the comics field for many years now.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:37 PM on February 3, 2010


splice: "So, uh, yeah, you have it wrong."

I was going to mention this, but I was, well, you know.
posted by boo_radley at 1:38 PM on February 3, 2010


out of curiosity, was a contract like this why Miller wrote the Dark Knight sequel and made it this cartoony piece of garbage?

like, "oh, you want to ruin one of my best pieces of work? ok. but i'm gonna ruin it my way. I'll make sure no one wants another one, and that they all plug their ears when someone mentions Dark Knight 2 and pretends it never existed."
posted by shmegegge at 1:40 PM on February 3, 2010


Hmm, now that you mention it, yes I would see whether or not you think this is a good idea as a litmus test of some kind, yes...
posted by Artw at 1:41 PM on February 3, 2010


Also of relevance.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:42 PM on February 3, 2010


HJ, that's kinda...hurm. Anyway, I'd like to see some corroboration on this unlikely-sounding story before taking it seriously.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:45 PM on February 3, 2010


Man, Rob Liefeld jokes are like the MSG of comic discussions. One-note, overused, probably unhealthy... and yet always SO FUCKING SATISFYING.

Show us your tits, Captain America!
posted by Artw at 1:46 PM on February 3, 2010 [3 favorites]


I think we all know that Watchmen spin offs are going to be judged pretty harshly, no matter what they're actually like, because there's no way they can add anything substantive to the original story. DC is probably hoping for a series or two that read enough like the original to capture some of that enormous trade audience, but the most likely result is a few graphic novels that come out with a splash, sink quickly, and are soon forgotten. This sort of thing doesn't usually work, even when you've got the original author doing prequels, like Asimov's Prelude To Foundation or Lucas and his Star Wars series.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:47 PM on February 3, 2010


The Watchmen Return

Script: Alan Moore
Art/Letters: Dave Gibbons

Page 1

Int. DC Offices:

Panel 1, 1/3rd height, full width frame.
Dan Didio sits at his desk, sipping Starbucks with his feet up on the desktop with a gaudy bluetooth headset in his ear.

Didio: Baby baby, listen. Forget the movie! Nobody cares about that. They love the BOOK, baby! I'm telling you, a prequel and a sequel would be a huge hit. Money in the bank, and you can take that to the bank. Bank on it.

Panel 2:
Rorschach enters frame from bottom left corner, we see over his shoulder from behind as Didio registers his presence with shock.

Didio: What the? Who the fuck are you? What are you doing in my office? What are you, some crazy fan? SECURITY! Get this guy the fuck out of here!

Panel 3:
c/u roraschach's masked face.

Rorscach:...

Page 2
Full page panel

Quickly, Rorschach reaches across the desk and bends one of Didio's fingers back until it breaks.

Didio: AWAUGGGHHHH!!!

Really go nuts on the lettering here, Dave. Make it look like a whiny puff is crying and screaming at the same time. Perhaps a stream of tears flying from his eyes. He should be in excruciating pain.

--------pages not reproduced------------

Page 21
full page panel

Didio, still tied to the desk with his feet and hands roped together stuck in the air and his pants still off, is barely conscious, but awake enough to cry.

Didio: awugh... for god's... huff... for god's sake. *haugh* please stop. I'm begging you.

Rorschach brandishes a tarnished but sharp implement (use your imagination, here, Dave) he calls The Screaminator.

--------pages not reproduced------------

Page 67

full page panel, same angle and arrangement as previous page

Didio: WHY IS THIS STILL GOING ON? MAKE IT STOP!
posted by shmegegge at 1:50 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]


No way would Alan Moore do a panel description that was only 2 lines long. To do a true Moore script pastiche you need to spend at least a page on rambling pre-amble, then minutely describe the wallpaper in the office or something.
posted by Artw at 1:52 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


(Also Moore does the descriptions in ALL CAPS and all the captions and dialogue, which let's remeber will be in caps on the page, in lower case. It's an old school comics writer thing...)
posted by Artw at 1:53 PM on February 3, 2010


Yes, page 67 would probably be a description of the fourth panel on page 1 of the comic. Ha!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:53 PM on February 3, 2010


entropicamericana: "I am for this; if for no other reason than it will infuriate Alan Moore."

You can justify just about anything that way. Including cloudy days.
posted by brundlefly at 1:54 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]


Heh.

He's really quite an affable chap. Invites anyone and their dog around for tea these days.
posted by Artw at 1:55 PM on February 3, 2010


Man, a picture of Alan Moore saying "YER A WIZZARD 'ARRY!!" just leapt into my mind.
posted by boo_radley at 1:56 PM on February 3, 2010 [4 favorites]


out of curiosity, was a contract like this why Miller wrote the Dark Knight sequel and made it this cartoony piece of garbage?

I hated DK2 when it came out, but after repeated reads it's really grown on me -- there's a certain batshit-insane (pun intended) internal logic to it, and when you start looking at it as Miller trying to make a satirical "supercomic" based on current (and presumably future) trends, it's actually kind of engaging.



Honestly, between a fifth Hitchhiker's book and flying Daleks, I've pretty much thrown in the towel on hoping for anything to remain sacrosanct. My best hope now is that they go full-bore with it.

Stood in firelight, sweltering in my Tommy Hilfiger designer clothing. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent, requiring me to consider purchase of ironically cool "Hubba Bubba" T-shirt, only $14.99 at Urban Outfitters. Felt cleansed, as though well-scrubbed with quality soap from makers of Irish Spring. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night: the cold, refreshing taste of Coca-Cola. Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat; realized nothing would go down better at that moment than a triple beef sandwich from Arby's. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone, except for the comforting and sensible voices presenting fair and balanced opinions on the FOX News channel. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do except maybe participate in the all-night Bowlarama at Ed's Bowl-A-Thon, a satisfying way to engage in exercise and be the socially active, engaging person that Bud Lite commercials have always assured me I could be.
posted by Shepherd at 1:59 PM on February 3, 2010


Daleks have flown since the 80s, if not before!
posted by Artw at 2:00 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm curious what writers would sign onto this and risk the wrath of Alan Moore. My guess is that no one from the Brit wave (Gaiman, Morrison, Ellis, etc) would touch it. Still, DC would need prestige writers for it to be taken seriously.

No matter who does it, though, DC will make bank in the same way the Star Wars prequels will (that is, hand over fist).

I, for one, would definitely read a series of one-shots done by distinctive creators in a "What if...?" manner. Paul Pope? Mike Allred? Bryan Lee O'Malley? Michael Kupperman?Peter Bagge? It could be brilliant.
posted by sleeping bear at 2:01 PM on February 3, 2010


To do a true Moore script pastiche you need to spend at least a page on rambling pre-amble, then minutely describe the wallpaper in the office or something.

I thought the same thing when I wrote it. such is life. I just don't have the time to write all caps paragraphs of run on sentences like "RORSCHACH SHOULD LOOK LIKE THE BOOGEY MAN PUT ON A TRENCH COAT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM LOOK SCARY TO THE STRAIGHTS AFTER ALL I LIKE TO THINK OF HIM AS A KIND OF SCARECROW FOR CRIMINALS BECAUSE DAMN IT ALL I ALWAYS LIKED THAT LINE IN BATMAN, YOU KNOW THE ONE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE "CRIMINALS ARE A COWARDLY LOT" ONE WHICH I THOUGHT WAS A PRETTY NICE TOUCH WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT ANYWAY HE'S SHORT IN REAL LIFE BUT IN THAT COAT HE'S A TERRIFYING MAN TO COME IN CONTACT WITH BECAUSE EVEN BEHIND THE MASK YOU CAN TELL HE'S GOT VIOLENT INTENTIONS, YEH?"
posted by shmegegge at 2:01 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


DC’s biggest selling comic book of all time

Huh? How is this defined? Does it mean biggest-selling single graphic novel or series or issue or what? I find it hard to believe watchmen has outsold, Batman, Superman, etc.
posted by ekroh at 2:03 PM on February 3, 2010


at the end of the day, I just liked the idea that Moore would turn in a script that's 67 pages of torturing Dan Didio, and be like "there you go. no rewrites."
posted by shmegegge at 2:04 PM on February 3, 2010


I have a better idea for dc. Give Alan Moore a million dollars and let him do whatever the fuck he wants. Did book companies hound Steven king about writing a sequel to Carrie?
posted by empath at 2:04 PM on February 3, 2010


I cannot imagine the movie spinoff of a Moore sequel/prequel/run-around; what I can imagine is the 'Making of' on the DVD, where Mr Moore rants madly about the squid that provided the ink with which he tattooed the images of the source comic onto the backs and faces of a thousand screaming 'volunteers.' The 'Making Of' is the only part people would buy it for.

Complete with dramatic reading from the Blue, here.
posted by LD Feral at 2:05 PM on February 3, 2010


Ew.
posted by feckless at 2:09 PM on February 3, 2010


Alan Moore is happy doing whatever the fuck he wants elsewhere. Mainly that seems to be publishing a magazine and writing comics with tits in,as well as working on his epic novel about a tiny corner of Northampton, which promises to be unreadable on a scale undreamed of by those who have experienced his last novel.
posted by Artw at 2:10 PM on February 3, 2010


(Also Moore does the descriptions in ALL CAPS and all the captions and dialogue, which let's remeber will be in caps on the page, in lower case. It's an old school comics writer thing...)

That's kinda going into the scary knowable territory... but, as I was reading a Moore script just a couple of nights ago, I was thinking the same thing when I read your previous bit...

I think it's about time that the Northampton Wizard got all his followers to get their socko-gods out and do somethign about this, like Morrison got all his readers to wank for a new series.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:11 PM on February 3, 2010


"I have a better idea for dc. Give Alan Moore a million dollars and let him do whatever the fuck he wants."

Wildstorm (later DC), already kind of did that with America's Best Comics, and the result was a number of different series, including LoEG. A lot of good comics came out of that imprint. It would be nice if Moore did something like it again, but who knows what he's into creatively these days.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:13 PM on February 3, 2010


Yeah, if I were him, I'd express incredible enthusiasm for the project in every available outlet, then turn in script after script of Rorschach silently eating beans for thirty pages.

Watchmen 2: Jaka's Story


(Disclaimer: I love Jaka's Story, but it set the standard for how little apparent action a comic could have.)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 2:16 PM on February 3, 2010


"as well as working on his epic novel about a tiny corner of Northampton, which promises to be unreadable on a scale undreamed of by those who have experienced his last novel."

A sequel to Voice of the Fire? Interesting!
posted by Kevin Street at 2:16 PM on February 3, 2010


He's been threatening it for over a decade...
posted by Artw at 2:22 PM on February 3, 2010


Is there some seedy corner in Atlantic City where I can bet on this not happening? Really, let's think this one through: Watchmen became the best-selling book in DC history because, by the time the movie came out, it had a base of fiercely loyal and vocal fans. Those same fans are going to rake any new Watchmen comic over the coals, likely complaining without even reading it, scaring away a lot of the new audience that this new project would hope to attract.

DiDio might not be the smartest businessman in the world, but this would be the corporate equivalent of eating a beer bottle because the inside tastes like lager. It's just not going to happen.
posted by Toby Dammit X at 2:31 PM on February 3, 2010


He's been threatening it for over a decade...

Well give him a chance... it's not like you can crank out a million words in a couple of weeks.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:40 PM on February 3, 2010


I imagine Eoin Colfer would be up for it...
posted by motty at 3:28 PM on February 3, 2010


How do you even do a prequel to Watchmen? Ooh! I know! Set it like in the like 1920's, and just have it be a book about New York in the 1920's! With maybe some cops, and some people who maybe have the same last names as some of the Watchmen characters (maybe not, though), and...
Wait. Even better. The whole book is about the newsstand guy's grandfather. He owns a newsstand. For 37 issues.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:18 PM on February 3, 2010


People have been joking about this for a long time. In certain corners of the internet people have fun making up lies and photoshopped covers for a comic called WatchmeX, the supposed 90's spinoff of Watchmen. Plus of course random Liefeld jokes and the Saturday morning cartoon video. You'd have to be a serious moron to even be tempted to touch this with a 10-foot pole since everyone knows what a bad idea this is. So yeah, I guess DiDio is trying to catch up with Joe Quesada in terms of stupendously bad comic book moves.
posted by CheshireCat at 4:23 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]


The problem with this story is that it leaked too early. Just imagine how awesome the press conference could have been:

DiDio: ... And so, I decided to authorize and create a sequel to Watchmen, created on a hidden island by artists shipped there in secret.
Fan: Blasphemy! We'll never let you get away with that!
DiDio: Get away with it? It hit stores thirty-five minutes ago.

(Long pan through a comic book store, silent and aghast at the monstrous thing on the New Arrivals rack.)
posted by No-sword at 4:32 PM on February 3, 2010 [7 favorites]


Honestly, between a fifth Hitchhiker's book and flying Daleks, I've pretty much thrown in the towel on hoping for anything to remain sacrosanct. My best hope now is that they go full-bore with it.

Go reread the thread about the Bill Watterson interview from like 2 days ago.
posted by DigDoug at 4:35 PM on February 3, 2010


I understand that both Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons have to be offered first refusal before any of these titles could be published.

Video of both sides* of that conversation with Moore would be so much more entertaining than the comic. Excuse me, event.

* I'm assuming phone call. DC probably isn't going to send someone schlepping to Northampton, and Glycon knows Moore's not going anywhere for that meeting.
posted by Zed at 4:44 PM on February 3, 2010


I've heard rumblings about this for a long time, and what I understood was that any WATCHMEN-related stuff would all be prequels and/or Minutemen stories, but maybe Alan Moore was pulling our legs.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 4:45 PM on February 3, 2010


Leave it the fuck alone.

Hurm.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 5:08 PM on February 3, 2010


I've heard rumblings about this for a long time

You're sure that wasn't just Alan Moore talking?
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:16 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


I will be very surprised if Johnston doesn't turn out to be full of shit here.
posted by Legomancer at 6:03 PM on February 3, 2010


Those three seconds of final squid thoughts last for 68 issues?

That sounds amazing. I would buy every single issue, especially if they were drawn by Jim Woodring.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:07 PM on February 3, 2010 [1 favorite]


I can't wait to see what wacky hijinx the crew of the Black Freighter gets up to!
posted by klangklangston at 6:16 PM on February 3, 2010


Watchmen sequels would have to be stand-alone books - like one a month for a year, just like the original, except each issue is totally different - 'Ozymandias Style' full of decorating, fashion, and culture tips, 'Nite Owl's Book for Boys' full of experiments and how-to projects for rambunctious kidlets, 'World Travel with the Comedian', 'Legume'...
posted by pupdog at 9:30 PM on February 3, 2010


...as well as working on his epic novel about a tiny corner of Northampton, which promises to be unreadable on a scale undreamed of by those who have experienced his last novel.

I don't know, I thought it wasn't THAT bad. I've read worse. I have a pretty high tolerance level for long, dense, seemingly without a point books after having served as a graduate teaching assistant in a history department, though.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:00 AM on February 4, 2010


What did Wizard know about Watchmen 2?

Nothing, apparently. Though the batman in that picture is apparently the Dark Knight Returns batman, which is pretty cool.
posted by Artw at 2:15 PM on February 4, 2010


Surprising no one, this is turning out to be a load of kack.

I don't know why anyone gives that man attention.
posted by Legomancer at 2:30 PM on February 4, 2010


NOBODY IS WATCHING ANYMOORE
posted by Elmore at 3:34 PM on February 4, 2010


AN UN WATCHED WIZARD NEVER FOILS.
posted by The Whelk at 3:36 PM on February 4, 2010


And no-sword wins the thread.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 9:04 AM on February 5, 2010


HEY GUYS I JUST READ SOMEWHERE ON THE INTERNETS THAT "BIG NUMBERS" THE MOVIE IS COMING SOON
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:26 PM on February 5, 2010


Somewhere in Northampton: "Yes, Socko, yes... the plan worked perfectly"
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:02 PM on February 5, 2010


I never believe any internet news site unless they have a flashing red light thingy going on.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 9:48 PM on February 5, 2010


Aaand the first of the prequel proposals comes rolling in. Here's Tom Spurgeon's for a Dollar Bill series.
posted by kipmanley at 6:49 AM on February 8, 2010


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